Thursday, December 27, 2007

Starting Babywise Late

Note 2013--I have a more detailed post on starting Babywise Late here.

source
You can always start Babywise, no matter what the age of your child. You can start as a 8 week old, 8 month old, or 2 year old. I started with Brayden at 9 weeks. Here is some advice for starting late.
  • Read the tips for starting late found in Babywise.
  • Read the CIO Bootcamp post on this blog (http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.html)
  • With Brayden, I first started the eat, play, sleep, eat, play, sleep, etc. routine and also on getting him accustomed to eating every 2.5-3 for about a week before I dove into CIO. That is just what I did. You can start it all at once if you want to.
  • Expect your baby to be behind what the book says he should be doing at certain ages. He will catch up though. He won't be behind forever. Brayden was a couple of months behind for a couple of months, then by six months he was pretty much right on.
  • If you are starting with CIO, I would start at bedtime. The child is the sleepiest and it should be the shortest CIO session (though I am sure some child out there is going to prove me wrong!).
  • I would start the feeding schedule in the morning and go from there. Eat, play, sleep. Follow the schedule.
  • Know that Babywise babies who start at birth do vary in the timeline, so yours can and will, too.
  • You might want to keep a log on intervals of waketime and naps and such so you can more easily see a pattern when you need to fix problems.
  • You will run into difficulties. Address them as they come. Do it according to your personality. I like to face one thing at a time, so I address one issue at a time.
  • If you have a much older baby or a toddler, read the books that lead up to your age as well as the age you are at. They all have schedule suggestions and structure suggestions.
Good luck! Be prepared for some crying and some difficulty, but also be prepared for wonderful results. I love Babywise. The payoffs are more than worth the difficulties you face in the beginning.
Reader Questions:
  • Mom2Cohen said...
    ...my son is 12 weeks old and has yet to sleep through the night. I have just read BW and I am ready to start. My question is...do I just jump in and start at the next feeding or is it best to start in the morning, night, etc? Any other tips or advice for someone like me who is starting late? Thanks so much!
    December 27, 2007 4:51 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    It would depend on what you are are starting. If you are going to start full-on with CIO and everything, I would start CIO at bedtime. That is the sleepiest time of day, so I think it will be the most successful CIO time.For feedings, I would start at the beginning of a new day. Good luck! I will do a post on starting late; I started at 9 weeks with Brayden, so I have been there.
    December 27, 2007 4:56 PM
  • Mom2Cohen said...
    WOW! BW worked great! So here is what we did for our first night...8:30 - layed him down 9:15 - he went to sleep 9:50 - he woke up 10:30 - he went to sleep (This was the hardest period we had all night) 3:15 - he woke up/I fed him (since this was our first night CIO and he is used to eating several times at night I went ahead and allowed one feeding)3:45 - layed him down 4:30 - he went to sleep (he didn't cry for this entire time...he just layed there and looked around) 7:30 - he woke up/ I fed him. Overall, I would say that yes it was very difficult to hear him cry. However, DH was able to "listen" via monitor while I occupied myself doing other things which helped me out a lot! This morning we layed him down at 9:00 and he cooed in his crib until 9:30 when he fell asleep. That is where we are at so far...I will update more later! Thanks for all your help! I will be checking in frequently as I think this is a great resource!
    December 28, 2007 8:46 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    That is wonderful! I am so glad it all went well. Hang on to that memory. You are likely to have some hard days intermingled with the good ones. It does get better!When I started Brayden on BW, he was waking twice a night. Within a week, once a night was his norm. I did nothing to try to prevent him from waking at night, I just worked on the day stuff and the night fixed itself. I look forward to hearing about your progress!
    December 28, 2007 9:14 AM
  • mommynik said...
    I'm back! :) I started doing CIO back in February. We have had a roller coaster and I have a hard time letting my 5 month old cry b/c of small house/hardwood floors/etc. I came to my mom's house to "work it out" and it is just like at home after several nights.My problem isn't getting him to go to sleep, it is the night waking. If I let him cry, he is so sleep deprived already, that he squirms and wiggles to a place in his crib and needs rescued. Do you rescue or just let him cry? He could easily cry for 1 to 2 hours in the middle of the night. If I let him go, it seems to be never ending and it still happens every night.What is the deal? Everyone acts like it is a quick association. It isn't.I am letting CIO for naps, etc. but nothing is stopping his night waking. Do you have some suggestions? (and I'm still nursing 1 -2 times a night b/c BF & not sure a 13 lb baby can reasonably go all night.)
    April 6, 2008 9:31 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    It isn't a fast process, and the older the baby, the longer it will take to work through it. If he gets himself into a strange position in the crib, I would definitely get him. Also, until daytime is worked out, I wouldn't worry about the night. You and he both need good sleep at night to make it through the CIO in the day. He should make it better at night once he figures the self-soothing out. I would just get him, feed him, then put him back to bed. It will take time, but it will improve. Good luck! See these posts:Progress is a Spiral: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/progress-is-in-spiral.html When Does it Get Better?: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/when-does-it-get-better.html
    April 6, 2008 10:44 PM
  • Zasha said...
    Hi there,I just found your blog by chance! I live in Tokyo, Japan and have a 3+ week old baby boy (born on May 2nd). As you can imagine, my life has turned topsy turvy since his arrival. It's the happiest time in my life and yet the hardest.I was encouraged to demand feed and that is what I ha done since day 1. However, it is not working out for me. I am exhausted and it's taking a toll on me physically and emotionally.My baby will not go to sleep (day or night) on his own. I have to nurse him to sleep and then put him in his moses basket. Sometimes he sleeps for 2 hours, sometimes only 30 minutes. It's all very unpredictable. My friend suggested Babywise and is sending me the book. I am looking forward to reading it and practicing it although I must say that I am quite the skeptic! (perhaps my exhaustion talking here) Here are some questions which I hope you don't mind answering:
    1) If I were to start at 4 weeks-6 weeks old, is it too late? Can I undo what I had already done? (nursing him to sleep, putting him in a sling to sleep?)
    2) I have started to loosely try BabyWise by doing the feed/play/sleep routine. I feed him for at least 30 minutes, then we play with him. He often gets tired after about 30 minutes (starts yawning, rubbing eyes, fussing). Then, I put him in his moses basket and he starts crying bloody murder (all the while with his eyes shut)! My husband and I have have left our baby to cry it out several times (for his day sleep) but oh, boy, can he cry! Our baby can cry for 1.5 hours! We tried to soothe him..pat him etc but nothing worked. The cry would just escalate until we get tired of hearing him and pick him up. The moment he gets picked up, he's quiet. Do you think he's crying so much because he's too young to understand? What am I doing wrong? I read that other babies cry for 15 minutes or 30 minutes and mine goes on endlessly. What should I do? Should I wait until he's at least 6 weeks old? I am at my wits end...Thank you so much for your blog..I look forward on starting our baby on BabyWise and hope that it works for us!
    May 25, 2008 9:37 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Zasha, I am glad you found the site! Hopefully it can be helpful to you. 1-4-6 weeks definitely isn't too late. I started at 9 with my son, and he really is a model BW kid (now 3 years old). You can undo--though you should expect some difficulty. The later you start, the harder it is; I started at birth with my daughter (13 months) and it was much easier with her. 2-I think he is crying because it is something new and not what he is used to. Since he stops crying as soon as you get him, I would say nothing is wrong with him other than he doesn't like the new arrangement. Be sure to check out the CIO bootcamp linked in this post, also see this post:Should You Do CIO? http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/should-you-do-cio.html
    Also, many many babies cry for much longer than 15 or 20 minutes. So, your son isn't strange in the least. Whenever you start, just be sure you are ready to do it all the way. If you don't stick it out, it will make the training even harder, so it is better to start when you are really committed. Be sure to look through the blog index...there are so many posts :) Good luck and don't hesitate to ask questions when they come up!
    Take Note of the Index: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/take-note-of-index.html
    May 26, 2008 10:17 AM
  • Skvaril's said...
    Superb site! Thank you for such a valuable source. I have a 5 month old and I definitely fall into the "starting late" category. Before finding Babywise, we had consistently had our baby on a wake eat sleep cycle schedule and had implemented CIO resulting in our baby going down for naps and sleep fairly easily. However, at the 4 month mark, naps became short and night wakings for feeds became more frequent. This is when I sought an answer and found Babywise and your site. My question is: What problem do I address first? He is on a 3 hour schedule, gets the dreamfeed but still consistently wakes 2 times (1 and 4) a night for feeding. I've tried CIO for these periods but after over 2 hours, fed him and he ate a full meal. Seems from all the postings on this site that he is getting plenty of calories during the day since we still haven't managed to get past the 3 hour routine. I started the introduction of solids but that is a work in progress. His waketime during the day is roughly 90 to 105 minutes. However, his naps have begun getting shorter (45 minutes). I tried the suggestions of shortening wake time (this whole past month has been trial and error...mostly error) but his nap times are still not increasing. I read a post which you indicated your son hated to sleep. I'm wondering if I just have one of those. When he wakes early from naps he's fussy so I know he's not well rested. Nowadays it seems the only thing that I have been able to control is morning waketime and bedtime (he's a 6:30 - 6:30 baby). I try to devote each day to establishing the Babywise routine but after seeing no results after a month of trying to implement the Babywise books and this site and not seeing any results, I'm just discouraged. Any advice would be welcome!
    July 15, 2008 9:50 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Skvarils, Thanks for the thanks! I would suggest this post:Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html
    I always suggest getting the day down first because the night will usually follow. There are some babies out there who, despite their mother's best efforts, sleep only 45 minutes. It is rare, but does seem to happen. I would work on it, but try to not stress about it. Remember it takes at least 8 weeks for things to seem to click, and possibly longer when you start late. I would give it some more time for both of you to figure it out. See my post from today; the work is hard, but so well worth it! :)
    July 17, 2008 9:05 PM
  • Katie said...
    Hi, My daughter is 10 weeks old and I've been doing babywise for about a week now. Prior to babywise, I was parenting on demand, and Lily was fussy a lot of the day and up erratically at night. Now, she puts herself to sleep (happily) and sleeps from 9PM to 6 AM, eats, and goes back down until 9 AM. She is happy when she wakes up! My problem is with naps! She simply does not want to take as many naps as recommended but I am confused on how to schedule in a three hour cycle that does not involve a nap every three hours (or if I skip a nap, wait for 6 hours, which is too long!) For naps she wants to take, she happily goes down with not a peep but if she doesn't want to nap, she screams the entire time she's in her room (max 45 minutes is my limit). To me it seems that is she has learned to go down herself, and is sleeping through the night, that I have accomplished the goal of the book and can adjust the rest of the schedule accordingly. Have you had experience with this? If so, how?Thanks in advance for your advice!!
    September 11, 2008 3:44 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    I would caution against not getting enough sleep. See this post:Sleep Begets Sleep : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/08/sleep-begets-sleep.html What I would do is keep a log and try to see a pattern in the times she doesn't "want" to sleep. See if it is the same time each day and what happens before these naps. 10 weeks is young enough that she needs her nap each cycle, so I would find out the reasons for her fighting certain naps. These posts can help you:Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html BW Tips and Tricks: Keep a Log: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/tips-and-tricks-keep-log.html She sounds like she is doing great, so you should definitely feel good about where you are thus far.
    September 15, 2008 3:11 PM

79 comments:

Steph said...

Hello,

My name is Stephanie. I am just starting Babywise with my 4-week old baby. She has been a fussy baby, and I am starting to think it is because she doesn't sleep regularly during the day. She eats regularly (2-3.5 hours - I'm working now on stretching it to the minimum 2.5), but she didn't fit into the newborn "sleeps after being awake 1-2 hours." She might wake up at 7 or 8 (this is before BW) and stay up until 11 or 12 before she would fall asleep again. I'm realizing she probably has been tired but doesn't show it and BW will help. After she eats, and isn't used to going back to sleep, how do I know if she is tired? She often seems alert and awake?

I also have a lot of trouble putting her down for the late evening (after the 7 or 8pm feeding) before the last feeding of the night (10ish) bc she is used to staying up. My instinct is to say that having her sleep one last nap at that time of night will serve to keep her UP instead of help her SLEEP the rest of the night?

Thanks! I have more questions for the time frame of the next few weeks (how to space out naps and allow for longer wake time) - but I will ask it when it comes time.

THANK YOU!

Steph

Plowmanators said...

Hi Stephanie--I am glad you found the site! For nap cues, see this post:

Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html

Yes, keeping her up most likely will make her not sleep well. See this post:

http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/08/sleep-begets-sleep.html

Mahal said...

Hi, I'm new to this awesome site and very thankful for all the guidance!
I'm just starting BW with my 14 week old daughter...very late indeed and need lots of help.
I am doing the eating/waketime/naptime, but not sure if she should be on a 2.5hr or 3hr feeding? I am BF and was feeding on demand. She has not doubled her birthweight yet (she was 7lbs at birth and now is 11lbs), so I wanted to make sure she's getting enough.
Also, I have started the CIO for all naps and bedtime, and her naps are at most 1 hour since Monday (this is when I started). Obviously she is not sleeping through the night. And I have yet to pick a start time, probably 8ish.
So any advise would help. Thanks again!

Plowmanators said...

You can do a combo schedule of 2.5-3 hour schedule (see Combo Schedule is Okay: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/combo-schedule-is-okay.html)

See this post also:

Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html

Be sure to look through the blog index and read through any post that might interest you.

Mahal said...

Hi, I did check out those two posts and they were very helpful. Just an update, yesterday her naps were terrible (about 45 minutes), and she'd wake up hungry. I'm thinking it's another growth spurt because instead of 2.5hrs for feeding, it was 2 hrs. However, she did sleep for 8.5 hrs last night! PTL! I woke up about 4 times to check on her...she was sound asleep. Today we started at 8am and we're doing the combo schedule of 2.5-3hrs. I had to wake her up after the first nap, but the last two she woke up early again, and was hungry (hence the growth spurt). But I just want to thank you for all the helpful postings and I will keep you updated on her progress.
Thanks again!

Teo said...

Hi there! Thanks so much for the amazing kindness of helping desperate moms! May God bless you with a perfect BW 3rd baby ;-)!
Our situation: I am really late in starting BW but I am motivated to do it because nothing else seems to work for my 5 mnth old. (Over the past 3 weeks I've tried CIO at every sleep TWICE for 5 days each time and there is little to no improvement! He still cries about 45 min for the night sleep and cries entirely through his naps sometimes!).
After reading your blog for the past two days, and trying to start with BW + CIO at the same time, I am still not clear on the following:
1. Is it even reasonable to start with working on a BW routine at the same time that one does CIO for naps and initial night sleep? I mean, it is very hard to instill a routine if he is missing naps b/c of crying or trying to keep a feeding schedule after he is all thirsty from crying for 1.5h! What do you suggest, knowing that I cannot stop the CIO now that I have been 'working' at it for 3 weeks... On the other hand, not starting a routine might not help him STN, right?
2. At 5 months, should I still give him a dreamfeeding because we are just starting BW, or should I leave him on 5 feedings during the day only? I am not sure I understand the concept of a dreamfeeding, actually...
I have at least 10 other questions, but since I cannot call you up, I thank you already for answering the above!

Mahal said...

Hi,
We're late BW starters with our daughter (she'll be 4 months tomorrow). This is our 3rd week of the full BW training and she has been STTN 8-9 hrs for the past week and a half. We are doing the 2.5-3 combo schedule with 7 feedings a day (I am breastfeeding her). When do you think I should move to 6 feedings? Should I wait a few more weeks since we are late starters?
Thanks again!

Mahal said...

Hi,
Sorry I forgot to leave our feeding schedule:
7 nurse then nap, 10 nurse then nap, 1 nurse then nap, 330 nurse then nap, 6 nurse (no nap), 8 nurse then bed, 11 (dreamfeed).

Thanks!

Mahal said...

Sorry, there are waketimes after nursing.

Sophie's Mom said...

First, thank you so much for this blog. It makes it a lot easier to understand and implement BW. I have read a lot of your blog, but would love to get your suggestions, feedback, and/or ideas about what we are doing. We are first time parents and have had a hard time doing BW with our 8 week old baby girl, Sophie. There are a couple of reasons for this. First and foremost, she had her days and nights mixed up for the first 6 ½ weeks. It was virtually impossible to wake up her up from this. We tried everything – singing, playing, taking in the sun, tickling, bathing, undressing, going for walks, cold wash cloth, etc. Nothing worked until we gave her rice cereal and she started sleeping longer at night. During those first 6 ½ weeks though we got pretty desperate at times and formed some bad habits. Second, as our first child and not fully knowing what to do, we had my Mom here for almost the first two weeks and then my in-laws visiting for 10 days over the holidays. To make a long story short, we extended the bad habits during that time. So I guess we are really just now able to start BW. We’ve been trying to do it all along, and have kept to a 2.5 – 3 hr. schedule pretty well. She has now consistently been doing the feed, play, sleep cycle for about 1.5 weeks. However, we’ve really just now started CIO. We did that a few times in the past, but of course grandma & grandpa loved to save her. So I would say she’s learned that if she cries someone will come in and fix it. I don’t think either one of us realized how important CIO was and how quickly bad habits form. We are now paying the price, but ready to fix it. One bad habit is using the pacifier as a sleep prop. Another is getting her when she cries, and lastly probably rocking. So with all that being said, here is our battle plan! I like what you said about focusing on one thing at a time. So my main two goals are sleeping through the night and going down in her crib to sleep by herself without a prop (in that order). I know the pacifier is a problem, but I think it’s too much to work on that right now with everything else (or do you disagree?). I think our best bet is to continue the schedule as much as possible and the feed, play, sleep cycle. My first Q is about finding her wake time. I’m doing trial and error now. My gut tells me she’s not a 2 hr. napper, but more around 1.5 to 1 hr and 45 min. Could her wake time be different at each nap? Or each day? She shows me the cues with yawning, rubbing her eyes with her fists, getting fussy, and she gets a blank stare. Like you said with your daughter, 5 min. either way made a big difference, but how do I find that perfect wake time? Sometimes she will actually go down for a nap without crying. I’m wondering if I’m getting her too drowsy during those times. For example, this morning she fell asleep in my arm on the way to the changing table to be reswaddled before I put her in her crib. She had been on the floor playing and showed the signs of getting tired so I picked her up. Other times we try to play with her for wake time and then rock and sing songs until she’s really drowsy. Those are the times she doesn’t cry. Anyway, once we put her down we are doing CIO. The CIO is where we have the most problems. I know it’s worse b/c we just started, but I read your CIO boot camp and we’re committed. Even if I have to be in tears the entire time she is. The problem is she NEVER seems to cry herself to sleep. If I let her, she would cry from one feeding to the next. Her pattern is usually this – she goes down for a nap and wakes up 5-15 min. later crying. We go in to burp her every time. She is VERY hard to burp. We work on burping during feeding and playtime and even after playtime right before I put her down, but it never fails that she continues to need to burp. Anyway, then I put her back down. She will cry again anywhere from 15-30 min. We will go in and give her the pacifier b/c she’s usually spit it out. If she starts crying again, we let her cry for about 15 min. (2x 15 min. so 30 min. total). If we go back in and just pat her on the stomach or give her the pacifier again, it makes it worse. So I’ve been picking her up and calming her down to the point of drowsy again before I place her back down. Like you did with putting your daughter in the swing, I usually put her in the bouncer when there’s about 45 min. - hour left of her nap so she will at least get some sleep. I’m pretty sure it’s not a feeding problem b/c that usually knocks her out. Have I created another bad habit with the bouncer? Also, how long should we be letting her cry? Should we keep going in after every 15 min. or extend it to 20? And how many 15-20 min. increments should we do? At what point do we pick her up? Should we really let her cry all the way until the next feeding? That seems too long?? Are we already doing CIO all wrong? What should our time expectations be with sleeping through the night and for her to understand we won’t go in there every minute? BTW, she is doing fine at night. We give her the last bottle around 11:30. She usually makes a few noises around 4:30 ish and we have to give her the pacifier and then she eats again at 7:30 – 8. Anyway, sorry this is so long, but we don’t have many other couples or family that are familiar with BW or agree with it, so I would love your feedback. Thanks again for the blog; it’s nice to know we’re not the only ones with issues!

Aaron Corcoran said...

We were babywise parents for our first child and at 8 weeks she slept through the night. We weren't nearly as strict with our second one and he is now 10 weeks and still struggling (waking up in the night 2-3 times). My wife is very stressed out and we are trying to start late but having one issue I'd like some feedback on.

His feedings...he doesn't seem to eat really well in the mornings/afternoons...sometimes he will, but most of the time, he'll do almost a snack feeding...I'm a bit worried he has fallen into a snack feeding routine, which in turn affects his nap lengths.

We can't forcefeed the boy, so I was wondering how we can work on longer feedings? We can only offer him the source, but if he refuses to take it after a few offers, there is little we can do. It is frustrating...

Hopefully we can receive some feedback. We are familiar with the principles when starting from scratch as with our daughter, but not with our second one..

Help.

Plowmanators said...

Teo and Mahal, I am sorry I missed your comments until now! Please let me know if you have further questions.

Plowmanators said...

Sophie's Mom,

You are welcome!

A word of caution with your plan: It is much easier to get them to sleep through the night once they are able to self-soothe. If it were me, I would focus on the going to sleep without a prop before worrying about STTN.

At her age, she most likely needs basically the same waketime length all day. There will be variations based on certain factors. One is if the previous nap was not good, she will most likely need a shorter waketime. Another is that sometimes in the evening they have longer waketimes than earlier in the day. For older babies, this is always true. For young babies like yours, this is sometimes true. If it is, the length is not much different.

Finding the perfect length requires lots of trial and error as well as taking notes. See the blog labels "waketime length" and "logs"

Once you find the right waketime, CIO should be a lot easier. When you find she needs help, I think it is better to have the help come from a bouncer or swing than the parent.

Length of time to cry is up to you. You have to decide at what point she just won't go to sleep. You also want her to get some sleep each cycle, like you said.

You might have to not go in at all. With my son, we couldn't go in. It would have made it worse.

Read through the bootcamp again, and probably again and again. Each time you do, you will find new things.

For STTN, I personally wouldn't expect it until she is able to self-soothe. Her sleeping sounds really good for the stage you are at with her in the training process. If I were you I would just be very happy with how nights are and focus on day time. Good luck!

Plowmanators said...

Aaron,

For the morning feed, I would wonder if he isn't hungry because he is eating too close to morning waketime in the night. See this post for help on getting rid of that:

Early Morning Feedings Before Waketime: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/early-morning-feedings-before-waketime.html

For the afternoon, it is possible he is eating too soon following the previous feeding.

First, be sure the feedings are happening at the right intervals from the last feeding.

For waking early from naps, see this post:

Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html

Offer him his food. If he doesn't eat, like you said, you can't force him. For the next feeding, try to hold him off through distraction until he should be eating next, or at least within 30 minutes of it. Hopefully by doing this you can train the metabolism and he will eat what he needs to at each feeding.

Chip, Jessica, and Parker said...

Hi, I have a 5 month old son who has never slept through the night. I had him on a schedule at 2 1/2 months and he had started sleeping 4-5 hours at night. But that all changed as soon as I went back to work and he was in daycare. Since attending daycare, there have been several problems. For the first month or so at daycare he ate and slept whenever he wanted. Eventually he got to a point where he usually ate at the same time every day. But naps are all over the place and he was up every 2-3 hours at night. It has not helped that he has also had back to back colds and ear infections since he was 3 months old. He also is an active baby and hates to sleep - he would rather be in the middle of everything, so he is probably overstimulated and overtired by the time he finally does nap or go to sleep. So, because of all this, he has pretty much set his own schedule. Now I am back at work and about to start working 10+ hour days and HAVE to have sleep in order to make it through the day. Do you have any experience with using BW or the CIO method when baby is sick? Everyone pretty much caters to him when he is crying b/c he is in pain. I have tried CIO the last 2 night and am OK with it as long it is not his shrieking painful cry. Do you have any advice/recommendations for how to tackle his sleeping issues at 5 months and if he is sick?

Plowmanators said...

Jessica,

I don't recommend CIO if they are sick. You can't really expect results wtih a sick baby. It sounds like you should see if there is any way you can get the daycare to be more consistent with him. This post might interest you:

Daycare/Childcare and Babywise : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/06/daycarechildcare-and-babywise.html

Tara said...

Hi! My name is Tara and I have a 5 and a half month old daughter who is just starting Babywise. I will be going back to
work soon, and turned to Babywise because we need her to have a
routine and be sleeping better for when I have to get up for work in
the mornings.

Basically, up until now, I have pretty much always held her and fed
her to sleep. She has eaten and napped whenever she wants, and has
been sleeping for 7-8 hours most nights, but has decided that her
bedtime is 2 am.

We attempted to start the program yesterday. I woke her up at 7am for
her first feeding and did 3 hours between feedings with 2-3 naps for
the day (thought we would play it by ear and see how many naps she
needed since she's used to cat napping through the day.)
When we put her down for her first nap at 10:30am, she cried
hysterically for 1 hour. She finally fell asleep after I picked her
up to soothe her (before that I had just checked on her every 15 min.)
and turned on her mobile.

When we put her down for her late afternoon nap, she screamed for an
hour and a half before we decided that was enough and went to get her.
We know she was tired because for both naps we had trouble getting
her to finish the bottle (she was falling asleep). Is it possible
that she was too tired? She's doing well with the feeding routine,
but I'm wondering if maybe we started too late for her to be able to
put herself to sleep. We don't mind a little crying, but I don't
think we're willing to let her scream hysterically for an hour and a
half. Is crying for over an hour normal and we're just being too
soft? Or are we doing something wrong? Any ideas? Any help would be
very appreciated, as we are kind of at a loss right now. Thanks!

Plowmanators said...

Tara,

You can expect some intense crying at first as you do this. She isn't too old to learn how to self-soothe.

However, from what you told me a major problem is the amount of time you are keeping her up. You want to eat, play, sleep, eat, play, sleep, etc.

You are going for a 3 hour routine right now. That means if you wake her at 7, her second feeding time is 10. Between 7 and 10 she will have play time and sleep time. 3.5 hours of being awake is 100% for sure too long for a 5 month old to stay awake.

See these posts for help in this process:

Optimal Waketime Lengths : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/07/optimal-waketime-lengths.html

CIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.html

oakgirl7 said...

Hi. My son is just 7 months and we're considering BW. Actually, we're practicing many of the principles already, except that we've never let ds cry-it-out, and he usually has a hard time getting to sleep. Consequently, there's lots of night-waking, which is the main thing I'm struggling with. Some nights he wakes up every 2 hours, and if he doesn't go right back to sleep after eating, is often awake for 1-1.5 hrs (which is getting really old!).

My main question revolves around what kind of schedule to put him on at this point. He's eating every 3 hours - almost exclusively breastfed except for rice cereal which he gets every other day or so (whenever I can get organized enough to do it at the right time), but not sleeping for a consistent length of time during naps, whether I leave him in the room for a set time period or get him when I hear him playing or crying. Sometimes his sleepy signals start at around 90 minutes; sometimes it's closer to 2 hours - he seems like we could stretch the schedule out a bit, but then two days later it seems like he still needs more sleep.

Plowmanators said...

oakgirl7,

I would guess his sleep needs change based on what the naps were like. The shorter the nap, the shorter the waketime will be. The longer the nap, the longer he will be able to be up before needing another one.

I would start with a 3 hour schedule so you can have more success and get him sleeping through the night. Focus on days first. Usually once the days are in place, the nights follow. Feed every three hours each day. Start at the same time each day. Help him self-soothe in the day, either through CIO or Pick up put down as outlined in The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Good luck!

jlodge said...

I just started Babywise after spending too many night exhausted from too little continuous sleep. I am a first time mom and my daughter Nya is 7 weeks old. This is day 2 for us and she crys at naptimes sometimes for nearly the entire time. I am working on understanding the cues and getting the daytime routine down. I read as many posts as possible. I have a few questions to help make sure I'm doing this right.

Question 1:
Before babywise the hospital told me to feed Nya every 2 hours (I BF). So I did, then gradually she stretched to 3 between some feedings but wasn't consistent. She would eat every two hours even through the night. Now I have her on a 2.5 - 3 hour schedule during the day and it's working...well feeding is anyway. But she still wakes to eat at night every 2 hours after the dream feed...so last night she had an 11:30 dream feed then woke to eat at 1:30 and 4:30...do I just continue to focus on the day and still feed at night? do I try and stretch night feeds to 3 hours? do I drop night feeds alltogether and let her CIO?

Question 2
Today I was reading to her and trying to watch her sleep cues but missed it before I could get her in her crib. She fell asleep on the couch and I left her there. She slept for about an hour. Does that count as a nap?

Question 3
How long should I work on stabilization since I'm starting with her at 7 weeks old?

Richele said...

We have a four-month old and have been doing BW with him since two months. We just adopted six-month old twins who had no routine. We're trying to get them on our four-month old's every-three-hour feed/wake/sleep cycle - and are having ZERO success. We wake them all up for a dream feed around 10PM, but one twin yells all night long. We cannot get them to take more than 2-4 ounces per bottle (they are on solids, as well). When she wakes up at night, she won't take more than 1-2 ounces, so I don't think she is hungry. Any suggestions you have for crazed Mama are greatly appreciated!

Plowmanators said...

jlodge,

1-I would focus on the day for now and night should follow as she gets used to the new routine.

2-yes, sleeping is napping :)

3-It is hard to say. My rule for expectations with Brayden was since we started 9 weeks late, I didn't hope for him to reach milestones until he was at least 9 weeks older than is outlined in the book. So if a baby starts STTN at 8 weeks, I didn't hope for it unil 17 weeks. But you also need to consider that you are not only training, but re-training. So it might take longer :)

Plowmanators said...

Richele,

Wow! I am truly speechless right now :). I would say just give it time. Keep working on establishing a routine in the day and nights should follow. Things will come together, but it will take some time and a lot of patience on your part. Hang in there!

CruiseHound said...

Thank you so much for this blog – it’s a huge help. My son is 15 weeks old, 16 ½ lbs (!!), and I’ve just discovered BabyWise. I’d very much like to help him onto a schedule, and would love your advice on how to phase things in. // We just started CIO sleep training last Saturday (we used to feed and rock him to sleep – ugh), and he is now going to sleep on his own at night and at the start of most naps – yay! But our napping and feeding are all over the place, and naps on his own are invariably short. // Yesterday was typically erratic: Up at 7am (my target time) following 10pm and 2am dream-feeds. Was not interested in eating (took an ounce? From my breast so hard to tell), napped at 8:20 for 20 min after 5 minutes’ crying but wouldn’t go back to sleep, ate 2 ounces (expressed milk) at 9:05 and another 1 ½ at 9:20. Napped at 9:55 for 35 min. Ate 3 ½ ounces at 10:40. At 11:40 slept 2 ½ hours – per usual he slept the first 30 minutes in the crib, cried, but was able to go back to sleep in arms + swing. Ate 3 ½ ounces at 2:25. Not able to get him to sleep again for a while (cried and cried in crib, tried a stroller, no luck). Ate 3 ½ ounces at 4:40. Slept at 5:05 for two hours in the swing – right past bath time. He woke with a sleepy cry at 7:10pm, and I breastfed him for about 15 minutes. He was asleep for most of the feeding, so I just put him back in the crib. Scheduled dreamfeed at 10pm, took 3 ½ ounces (with diaper change, so he woke a little), and at 2am, when he breastfed pretty well, maybe 10 solid minutes. Woke at 1am and 5am, but didn’t cry for long, so I didn’t go in. Woke up at 6am, not crying, so I went in. // Given that he’s just getting used to CIO, when would it be appropriate to start trying for a consistent schedule? // Since his naps are so short in the morning (and he often just won’t go back to sleep even in arms or swing) should we try a feeding schedule even if it gets out of sync with the sleep schedule? Or what would you recommend? // Also, given that he rarely eats more than 3 ½ ounces or 15 minutes at a time now (we offer more, he just stops eating), is it possible his tummy isn’t really capable of eating more? How long is it appropriate to stretch him out? // Any advice at all about transitioning him toward a BW schedule would be wonderful! Many thanks!!

Patricia said...

Hi, my name is Patricia and I have a 19 weeks old son. I've been doing babywise since he was born and everything was working wonderful. He was sleeping through the night by week 8 just like the book said he would. I was so happy and finally getting some rest at night.

For the past 4 to 6 weeks he started waking up in the middle of the night. Started once around 5 am, then started moving back to 4am, 3:30am, 3am and some nights he was waking up every 2 hrs. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
I didn't know what was wrong, if he was hungry, in pain, just wanting to be held... I tried EVERYTHING!
People kept telling me that this is normal, that he is probably hitting a growth spurt and that he needs more food and less sleep. Well, I believed them. The last thing I wanted was to starve my baby so I started feeding him again in the middle of the night. He seemed hungry to me so I just fed him and put him right back down. Since I was exhausted anyway, that just seemed easy for me. Plus during the day I tried feeding him more often too 'cause they told me if he eats enough during the day he won't get hungry at night.

As soon as he turned 4 months I gave him rice cereal to see if that would help, well, it didn't. He woke up 3 hrs later hungry.
Am I doing something wrong???

Well, I also talked to his doctor and she said he is probably teething too. So I gave him infant tylenol a couple of nights right before he went to bed and that didn't seem to help much.

He is now sleeping better though, only waking up once between 3 and 4am, but I confess that I'm still trying to understand why. Is he supposed to be sttn? he was doing so good and now I feel like I'm dealing with a newborn again.

PLEASE HELP!!!!

The other thing I noticed different too is that he is not eating for too long anymore. He used to eat for about 15 to 20 minutes per side, and now he is doing more like 5 minutes. Sometimes he eats a little bit and stop. He seems to be way more distracted now too. I cannot force him to eat. I tried.
He seemed pretty happy overall. He is growing everyday and everything else seems fine. I just can't get him to sleep through the night anymore.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

THANKS!!!

Plowmanators said...

CruiseHound,

First, keep waketimes shorter--especially your first one. The first waketime of the day should be very short.

I wouldn't worry so much about a consistent schedule yet. Worry more about a consistent pattern and getting naps more predictable. Once naps are down, it will be much easier to have a consistent schedule.

I would just start with the pattern. Eat. Play. Sleep. Once he is used to that, move on to trying to eat no sooner than 2.5-3 hours (unless he is in a growth spurt, in which case feed him).

See the post "waking early from naps/won't fall asleep for naps" on ideas of what to do when he wakes early. See also "waketime when baby wakes early".

See also posts about figuring out waketime length. The right waketime length should lead to longer naps.

Plowmanators said...

Patricia, Most babies get much faster at nursing around 4 months, so that isn't uncommon. Have you checked your milk supply? I would just look into that to be sure everything is fine there.

4 months is a normal time for disruptions for all babies, not just BW babies.

Does he use a pacifier to sleep? If so, that might be the root of the problem.

Is he too hot, too cold? Does he have reflux or some other medical condition? See the label "sleep problems" for lists of possible reasons for waking/not STTN. Good luck!

Patricia said...

Thanks for your reply!

Yes, I think my milk supply is OK. Plus I'm now giving him rice cereal (not everyday though) and sometimes a little bit of smashed bananas (his doctor said I could start introducing solids little by little), so I really don't think he is hungry.

Yes, he does use a pacifier. But he can sleep with or without it. He is pretty good about that. I don't have to put the pacifier back in his mouth or anything for him to go back to sleep.

I think he is pretty comfortable, not too hot or too cold.

I talked to a friend who does BW with her 2 girls and she said I just probably have to let him cry for a couple of nights and he will get back to normal schedule. I have family in town right now but as soon as they leave I'll try that. Hopefully that will help and it won't take too long for him to go back to sleeping through the night.

Thanks again!

Amy, Michael, and William said...

Hi- I have an 8 week old and have been somewhat following Babywise. He follows the pattern of eat, wake, sleep, but I have not been very consistent with times or places where he sleeps. He will sleep on me for an hour and a half, but will only sleep on his own for 20-30 minutes. His last feeding usually falls between 8-9 and he sleeps until around midnight where we feed him and then put him back down in his bassinet. He usually wakes up one more time before wanting to get up between 6-7. Since he is doing the right order of things (eat, wake, sleep), how can I better get him to nap? I've tried to let him CIO one evening around 6pm but he was hysterical!! I am also worried that he is a little young to CIO. Since we haven't had too many issues with nighttime sleep, I am mostly concerned with naps. Any thoughts?

JenniferMatt+3 said...

Hi, my 3rd son has had some health issues from birth and is now 6.5 months old. We have done BW with all 3 of our boys.....we did not do CIO with the 3rd, but want to attempt it now. We have been doing it consistently for 4 days now...he is back to STTN! But the naps are a nightmare!He cries and cries, knowing he is so exhausted...he will eventually fall asleep after crying for over an hour for 30 minutes, and then cries some more. We have tried him on the 4 hour schedule, but not sure with his napping like this it's the best thing? He is not hungry at the 3 hour time, but is at the 3.5 hour...it's kinda a wierd schedule with the 3.5 hour though, buy willing to do anything! I don't know if he will ever learn how to self soothe for naps....but why can he sleep at night? He has had some bad sleep habits since birth when we found out he had health issues...reflux, blood in stools, milk protien intolerence, food allergies ( he is BF only ) digestion problems...I stayed on the BW schedule, but rocked him sometimes, but now it is a bad habit...also the paci. He has also been swaddled since birth, we are trying to break him of all of it at one time...is this too much, or just get it all over with? I have not een any improvements with the naps and this is the 4th day, I am willing to do it for as long as it takes if he would eventually start taking a decent nap on his own! Thanks,
-Jennifer

Plowmanators said...

Amy, Michael, and William,

See the blog label "CIO" for help in that department.

You can also teach to self soothe in ways other than CIO, which is totally fine. The Baby Whisperer has methods. He needs to learn to soothe himeslf to be able to take a longer nap than 30-45 minutes. So I would pick a way to help him learn and go for it. Good luck!

Plowmanators said...

Jennifer,

I would start with the swaddle. Once his arms are free, he might be able to figure out how to soothe himself. He will either be able to find and replace the pacifier or suck fingers.

While he is learning, he will wake at 30-45 minutes. This is totally normal. If it were me, I would go and help him get back to sleep. As he gets better at self-soothing, he should start to fall back asleep on his own.

You might want to get the book "healthy sleep habits, happy child." I have a review on it. It is a great help for learning to self-soothe.

Erika said...

Hello,
I'd like to start off by saying what a huge help your posts are and I so appreciate you taking time out of your busy life to help us all out. I am starting BW late. My daughter is 7 weeks old and we have her on a loose schedule starting at 7:00 am. I have read your posts on consistency and I am waiting until we get back from holidays in 2 weeks so that I can take 2 weeks to stay at home and really get a schedule established. I have been exclusively breast feeding except for three nights ago when we bottle fed her expressed milk. Now I'm not sure if this is the cause or not but ever since after her 6:00 pm feeding she will not settle down for a nap. I try to get her to sleep but she refuses. At about 7:15 pm I feed her again because she seems to be hungry and then again at 8:15 and yet again a third and fourth time within a short time period. After all that she goes to sleep for the night with great difficulty. We often resort to a pacifier/rocking her to sleep. She has been following the eat/play/sleep routine and though our schedule is not set yet she is eating every 2.5 - 3 hours during the day. Am I doing this all horribly wrong? What do you think is causing this? I thought maybe a growth spurt but she doesn't seem to be overly hungry during the day. At least not more than usual. I'm wondering if we might have to start bottle feeding so that we know she is getting a full feeding every feeding. Is she becoming a snack feeder, using me as a pacifier? I'm at a loss. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

The Lommori Family said...

Help! I feel like I am starting over! I started BW at birth and things went great until my son was 3 mo and I went back to work. I had a nanny coming to the house and she read BW and I thought all was going well but in the last 2.5 mo (my son is now 5.5 mo) I feel all the hard work of the first three months has fallen apart. He no longer falls asleep for naps without crying, bedtime is usually a 1-2 hour crying struggle, and he is not STTN anymore. I am no longer working and staying at home with him. So here are my questions:

1. He has learned to roll from his back to tummy but not tummy to back, so when he rolls onto his tummy he cries and cries--he will not sleep on his tummy. Should I leave him to CIO so he learns to sleep on his tummy or go in and roll him over? (He can roll over just as fast as I roll him back so this can become quite a frustrating process)
2. He has no sleepy cues, I have no idea how long wake time should be, and it's hard to judge based on how easy he goes down because he cries when he goes down for every nap, sometimes for the whole nap time.
3. the 45 minute intruder. I have tried everything, shorter longer wake times, wake to sleep, burping, gas medicine, less/more stimulation, noise machines, etc. etc. This throws the schedule off completely, especially because he isn't hungry every three hours, he will only eat 3.5-4 hours.
4. How long do you let them CIO? He will cry the whole nap period if I let him. Do I then get him up and try and keep him awake for the next nap time?
5. He is waking in the night now, not to nurse, just to be rocked for a little while. If I let him cry, he will cry for hours, but I hate getting up every night just to rock him for a few minutes!

I hope you can help. This has been so frustrating I am ready to give up. I hate hearing him cry so much all over again, after I worked so hard the first three months.

The Lommori Family said...

Just one more thing:
3. The 45 minute intruder is every single nap for the last 2 months. Even bed time he'll go to sleep and wake 45 mins in. I have tried CIO--he will cry the rest of the nap. I tried the swing, he still cries. Nursing--either not interested or will just comfort suck but rarely fall asleep. I never know what to do after our first 45 minute nap b/c he can't stay up very long but I hate enduring a crying session again so soon!

Plowmanators said...

Erika, I think there is a good chance you have witching hour going on. Check out the "witching hour" blog label and see if that is what it is.

Plowmanators said...

Lommori Family,

1. There is a post titled "nap disruptions: rolling, standing, crawling, etc." that will help you with question 1.

2. In this case, you need to go by clock, not cues. This will be easiest if you use a chart to track how long he was up and what happened because of it. I have a page in the google group.

3. If he can't self-soothe, most likely he will not be able to nap well, either. Once he gets that down, naps should get better.

4. See CIO blog label for help on that.

5. That should also work itself out as he learns to self-soothe.

Katie said...

Hello I have a rather unique situation. I began Babywise at about 4 weeks of age and got my son sleeping through the night at 9 weeks of age. We continued the routine until he was 4 months old when we backed off. He began napping for only 30 minutes at a time at around 6 months of age. He also began teething at this time so we attributed the waking to that. Then at about 7.5 months he stopped sleeping through the night. UGH! We are now 11 months old and he takes 2 30 minute naps a day and wakes up at least once in the middle of the night- sometimes for long periods of time. I am so OVER it! We kept the feed, wake, sleep pattern and here is what a typical day looks like for us:
7:30amish- wake up
8:00am- eat breakfast
8:30am- playtime
10:30am- nap #1 30 minutes
11:00am- small snack
12:15pm- lunch
12:45pm- playtime
3:00pm- nap #2 30 minutes
3:30pm- medium snack
5:00pm- dinner
5:30pm- playtime
8:00pm- bath
8:30pm- bottle, book, and rock to sleep
9:00pm- sleep

I am well aware that I have encouraged his bad sleep habits and need help breaking them. I tried the CIO method last night and he shrieked for over an hour. We eventually caved in and gave him a bottle because we were so exhausted. He took 8 oz. Then he got up and ate a normal sized breakfast 2 hours later. I'm not sure if we're in a growth spurt or not. I've read the babywise book cover to cover and the babywise 2 book and am not seeing much to do differently. PLEASE ADVISE!!! Thank you!

Plowmanators said...

Katie, if he is hungry, try feeding him every four hours in the day. I would also try feeding him more per meal. If he is still hungry in the night, try a 3 hour schedule so he can get more food in the day.

I suggest you cut back to being awake for two hours at a time, then nap, two hours up, then nap, etc.

Natalie and Chris said...

My daughter is 9 weeks old and I have been loosely following BW since birth. We had some major life changes going on (on top of a new baby!) that meant we were on the go quite a bit and she was visited and held a LOT up to now. I plan on beginning BW Boot camp in the next few days. I have read the BW book and MANY of your posts, but feel a little overwhelmed with all of the information! We are currently on more of a “pattern” instead of a schedule, but here it goes (I will start with bedtime): depending on the day bedtime is between 7:30-9, she will sleep 6-6.5 hours, then I will feed her (usually between 2-3:30), then she will sleep until around 6:45. At 6:45 we start our day and I feed her. She eats roughly every 2:45-3:30 hours throughout the day and I put her down after the last feeding. (We cannot do a dreamfeed because it has the opposite effect-like your daughter) She only eats 6 times a day, but is gaining weight very well (currently 12.5-13 lbs.) This all sounds great, but she does not nap well at all! We also obviously do not have a set bedtime/wake-up time or bedtime/naptime routine. My questions is where should I begin?

Plowmanators said...

Natalie,

Start with a set morning wake up time. Start at the same time within 30 minute window, but really focus on getting it right on for right now.

Also, make sure you have your pattern (eat/play/sleep) all day long.

Work on learning her optimal waketime length--that will help with naps (see optimal waketime blog label).

If you need to, move her to a swing or rock her back to sleep to help her take a full nap.

Try to stick to a 2.5-3 hour schedule (unless there is a growth spurt).

And have a set bedtime each night--preferably about 12 hours before your morning wake up time.

Good luck!

Angela said...

I am staring BW late because my 5 month old daughter went from being an awesome sleeper to Awful. She is VERY fussy and wants to be held ALL day long. I cant put her down anywhere or she screams. She fights taking naps. I try to put her down before she is overtired. I try to let her CIO but the longer I let her go the more stamina she gains. At night I am able to nurse and put her down before she is alseep easily. she doesn't make a peep. I dreamfeed at 10. If not then she'll be up at 12:30 on. she wakes up around 3am for another feeding and then 6:30. I am at my end and do not know what to do anymore.

Plowmanators said...

Angela,

It sounds like there is some pain going on. Have you looked into reflux?

Angela said...

We ruled out reflux 3 months ago. I also cut out all dairy to see if she was sensative to it but she was not. Night time has been a little better. She has been sleeping till 5:30 most nights but not always. Naps are still a nightmare. She refuses to take one and still wants to be held ALL day long.

Plowmanators said...

Angela, another common pain is gas pain.

If she is used to being held to sleep, she might just be refusing to sleep any other way and will need sleep training. But if she previously slept well and suddenly started not sleeping well, there is something bothering her. It could also be teething.

Danielle C said...

Hi

I have made a rough start with motherhood in general never mind Babywise. However, since birth I have implemented feed/play/sleep which my son does fairly well (with the first two). He is now 3 months (today!) and I admittedly been doing a pattern no rigid schedule and his nap times have not been consistent (some times sleeping 1-1.5 hours- other times 45 min). I know that due to my lack of schedule/routine he has been affected. I have a condern around starting to make a set routine and travelling across time zones. In 10 days we are travelling from London England to visit our family in Toronto which means 5 hours time change from London, then flying to Halifax which is only 4 hours difference from London. We will be gone for 3 weeks total. So two questions: how should I prepare my son ahead of time (if at all) for the time change and secondly: should I work on making a set routine over the next ten days or just wait til we are back and adjusted to the time zones?

Thanks, I hope this made some sense.

kaila said...

My son is 3 weeks old now. We are starting BW late because he ended up hospitalized with severe reflux problems due to milk sensitivity when he was 4 days old. I had been working on the principles of BW but that got put on hold with a week stay in the hospital. We haven't started letting him CIO yet because we've had trouble getting his reflux completely under control. He is now on Zantac but I think eliminating dairy and soy from my diet helped more than that. Anyway, I'm working on establishing the eat, wake, sleep cycle and a consistent routine before we jump in to CIO. I tried that for a few days and he wasn't sleeping at all. Then I found your infant sleep hierarchy post. THANK YOU! My current problem is that sometimes no matter what I do he won't take a nap. We're on a 7, 10, 12:30, 3, 5:30, 8 and 10 schedule. I only keep him up for 30-45 minutes before putting him down but even if I rock him he won't go to sleep. I'm making sure he doesn't catnap during feedings. This morning I fed him at 7 and tried to put him down for a nap at 7:45. He wasn't fussy, just wide awake and watching everything so I put him in his swing. He wouldn't even fall asleep in that. He didn't fall asleep until 9:30. so he only sleeps for 30 minutes before its time to feed him again. I've had trouble establishing and maintaining my breast milk supply so I really try not to go to long during the day between feedings so I can go a little longer at night. What is the best thing to do in that situation? I've been logging everytime I feed him and how long he is awake and what works to get him to sleep but it seems to change all the time. He only sleeps for about 11 hours every day. He has also started waking up at 3am to eat which is normal but now he won't go back to sleep until 5 or 6. Letting him CIO wasn't successful. He just cried and screamed until his reflux got bad or the next time to feed him if I put him in his bed. If I put him in his swing he is peaceful but still not sleeping.

My final question is in relation to reflux. He sleeps on a foam wedge because of his reflux. Is it ok to let him CIO? I really want to but at the same time I don't want him crying so much that he starts refluxing and is then in pain.

I'd love any advice you can give me on this. Thanks!

kaila said...

I left a question a few weeks ago. We're still struggling with most of the same stuff but now he is 6 weeks old and on Prevacid. His reflux is under control now and we've been letting him CIO as long as he isn't having any reflux issues. However,he still doesn't sleep. He'll eventually quit crying or cry off and on for his entire nap. He will stay awake for 6 hours at a time sometimes! Yesterday he was content if he was in his swing but he wouldn't sleep for anything! We've also adjusted to a 6:30(6:25-6:45) waketime, 9:30, 12, 2:30, 5, and 7 feeding schedule with a df at 9:30. He still wakes up every 3 hours and doesn't go back to sleep at night. He also wakes up between 4-5:30 to eat and then won't go back to sleep. This morning he woke up at 5:45 hungry. Nothing worked to delay his eating. By the time he had eaten it was our normal time to get up. Even though we've been on a schedule for 3 weeks now and he's been CIO he won't nap and there is no consistency to his behavior.

Please help us. I know so many people who keep telling me how great bw is and ask if I've considered that. I don't know what we're doing wrong but I'm pretty discouraged and exhausted. My friends and family think I'm crazy for trying to get any form of schedule and keep telling me that he just doesn't need much sleep and he'll set his own schedule when he's ready-between 6-12 months. Is it possible that bw really won't work for him? My husband and I are exhausted. We would greatly appreciate any advice we can get!

Plowmanators said...

Danielle C,

Sorry this is late for your preparing for the trip--I do have posts on that under "travel"

As for when to work on it, I would wait until you are home and maybe have been home for a couple of weeks before you really focus in on your schedule.

Plowmanators said...

Kaila,

Something about reflux is it can make your BW progress really slow. I am glad you are on prevacid now because it is better than zantac. Make sure your dosage is correct--it is weight based and will need to change as he gets bigger.

I would just feed him when he wakes in the night.

Really look at the optimal waketime posts. Once you get that just right, he should go go sleep easily--BUT if he is having pain, it can interfere with his ability to fall asleep. So be sure your dosage is correct. It sounds like he has pretty bad reflux.

LibZel said...

Help! I have a 15 week old baby boy who has always had a tough time sleeping. We have been following the Baby Whisperer and Weissbluth since he was a few weeks old and had him on a great EASY schedule, until about 2 weeks ago when he stopped taking long naps and now everything is out of whack!

Any advice on how to get him to take longer than a 30-45 minute nap is appreciated- especially because the shorter nap doesn't allow us to be on the EASY schedule and I never know if he is hungry or tired anymore. He can't self soothe and it seems to be getting worse. I have seen him do it a few times but always when he is in the bouncy seat and never in his crib. In fact, yesterday morning he took a nap in the bouncy seat for 1.5 hours and put himself to sleep. But he has never been able to do it in the crib. That was the first time he has slept that long in 2 weeks.

We are putting him to bed between 6-7 pm because he is so tired due to the lack of long stretches of sleep. He goes down with a bit of fussing and a few times of needing to go in rub his back or give him the pacifier.

I would love to try CIO for this part of the night so that he learns how to self soothe. He was an underweight baby at birth due to a blood clot so our Doc doesn't want him to go through the night w/o eating, unless he is doing it on his own.

HELP me get longer naps and back to EASY. We are exhausted and so is he.

Plowmanators said...

LibZel,

One thing I would wonder is if he has reflux since he can sleep well in a bouncy (inclined) but not in his bed. You could try inclining the matress slightly to see if that helps, but I would also analyze that.

Be sure he isn't going through a growth spurt. See my growth spurts for more on that.

If you are interested in CIO, see the posts on this blog about it. If you want to do something more Baby Whisperer oriented, see her books for reference. I did the 4 S's (first three) with McKenna and that worked well (see the post on this blog). Good luck!

Lucasmamm07 said...

Hello I have a 7 1/2 month old darling daughter. :) She is breastfed and we have just started doing solids (oatmeal cereal, purees) She takes good naps during the day but always wants to go to sleep at around 6:30pm and then she wakes up multiple times at night, last night we let her CIO, she cried for about 25 min (8:00pm) then went to sleep but woke up around 10:30 and I just went in and rubbed her back and turned on her music and she went back to bed. She woke up at 1:15 and I fed her and put her back to bed and then she woke up at 4:15 ate and she came to bed with us. and was up by 7. and then she takes a nap around 8:30am. and she is currently still sleeping at 9:46. So can you direct me to what to do? maybe even have a schedule for me to follow especially with introducing solids. When should I feed her cereal or purees? I am at a loss and need your help so much. Thank you in advance for all your help. P.S. I have another question what do you do when you are somewhere besides home? i.e. we are going to a football party tonight and game starts at 7pm. :) Thanks

Plowmanators said...

So if you start your day at 7, then that would be your first feeding. I would breastfeed/bottlefeed--whatever you do--then give her solids immediately after.

Then she should play.

Then she should take a morning nap starting anytime around 8:30-9:00.

Make sure you get her up at 7 AM every day.

Then you would feed her again sometime between 10-11, depending on when she is hungry. Most 7 month olds will make it to 11, but some might be earlier.

Then repeat the cycle all day.

So if she were eating every three hours a day:

7, 10, 1, 4, 7 then to bed. I would choose three of those times to feed solids.

If she were eating every four hours:

7, 11, 3, 7. Then to bed. Feed solids the first three feedings. Then have a consistent bedtime close to 7 PM.

When I am away, I see if I can lay the baby down somewhere at the house we are at (spare bedroom, closet--we take our own bed). Or you can hold baby to sleep, or rock in the carseat. I try to keep the sleep the same even though we are gone.

Kingston and his parents said...

HELP!!!! Man I sure hope you get this sooner than later:) HI, my name is Carrie and i have a 5 week old baby boy. I just started doing the baby wise scheduling, I got a little distracted with the holidays and poor guy got a cold. Anyways, I'm beyond struggling! He was the best sleeper when he was born and I feel like I've ruined him since it took me so long to get going. He now wakes up every two hours to eat, without fail, but also wakes up in-between then if he loses his paci. I know how you feel about pac is, but he can't sleep with out it...but at the same time he can't sleep with it!!! So he eats plays for about an hour to a quarter after then I put him down. He then only stays asleep for 30 -45 minutes. I however leave him in there and just continue to putthe paci back in... Then we do the same thing over again. I, for the first time actually was able to wake him up to start the schedule over again. I then, put him down at 9 then was planning on waking him up at 11 for the dream feed but he just HAPPeNED to wake up before I got to it and that was the start to another terrible night... I saw every hour except 1am. I didn't feed him every time but I tried to fix the paci or change him or even let him fall asleep on me hoping that would help. And now he's asleep now totally exhausted!!! I'm so lost I don't even know where to start! I think your in the same state as me... Can I pay you to come help me:) no seriously!!!!! Thanks for listening and hopefully you can help!!!

Kingston and his parents said...

HELP!!!! Man I sure hope you get this sooner than later:) HI, my name is Carrie and i have a 5 week old baby boy. I just started doing the baby wise scheduling, I got a little distracted with the holidays and poor guy got a cold. Anyways, I'm beyond struggling! He was the best sleeper when he was born and I feel like I've ruined him since it took me so long to get going. He now wakes up every two hours to eat, without fail, but also wakes up in-between then if he loses his paci. I know how you feel about pac is, but he can't sleep with out it...but at the same time he can't sleep with it!!! So he eats plays for about an hour to a quarter after then I put him down. He then only stays asleep for 30 -45 minutes. I however leave him in there and just continue to putthe paci back in... Then we do the same thing over again. I, for the first time actually was able to wake him up to start the schedule over again. I then, put him down at 9 then was planning on waking him up at 11 for the dream feed but he just HAPPeNED to wake up before I got to it and that was the start to another terrible night... I saw every hour except 1am. I didn't feed him every time but I tried to fix the paci or change him or even let him fall asleep on me hoping that would help. And now he's asleep now totally exhausted!!! I'm so lost I don't even know where to start! I think your in the same state as me... Can I pay you to come help me:) no seriously!!!!! Thanks for listening and hopefully you can help!!!

Kingston and his parents said...

One more question. I'm kinda confused with the cluster feedings.. If I'm supposed to feed him every two hours in the evening do I not let him sleep? Were moving and both my books are in storage so I can't read up on it myself... Thank you again

Plowmanators said...

It sounds like you are in the difficult place of pacifiers. Most people who successfully use pacifiers say they have a "one-time reinsertion" rule. This means they will reinsert one time, but no more. Then the baby does CIO. If he uses a soothie, you should look into a Wubbanub Infant Pacifier.

Be sure he doesn't have gas issues or some sort of pain. If you don't swaddle him, try that. Make sure the room is a good temp (usually around 65-70 degrees) and that his clothing is appropriate.

For cluster feeding, most babies will sleep. At his age, he shouldn't be up longer than an hour at a time including feedings. If you have him up longer than that at a time, that will be a huge contributor to him not sleeping well. So if you fed him at 4, he would go down at 5, then you would feed him at 6, go down at 8.

Which state and county are you in?

I hope that helps!

Mirabella said...

Hello,
My daughter is 9 months and since we have been traveling a lot these last months; I haven't really found a routine for her now that we have settled down more. Nap times vary every day and I seem to have a hard time finding the perfect time to put her to sleep. In the evening, she goes to bet at 7pm and then she wakes up around 3 to 4 times a night! My main problem has been that she was used to go to bed breastfeeding but now that I am trying to take that habbit away from her it's a lot harder! Some days she falls asleep quite quickly but some other day, she just won't sleep!! What should I do?

Plowmanators said...

Mirabella,

There are a few areas to start your focus:

1- consistent meal times
2- consisten time to wake up in the morning and go to bed at night
3- consistent nap times.

It takes effort to find the optimal waketime length, but you can do it (I have posts to help).

Once you have consistency in these areas, I would move on to breaking the nursing to sleep habit (unless it is already broken). Good luck!

admannon said...

Wanting to restart babywise with my 7 month old daughter and not sure how to go about starting back after a month and a half of sickness, traveling, etc. She had been feeding every 3-3.5 hours and sleeping 11-12 hours at night before things got out of hand, and I resorted to nursing her to sleep.

We have transitioned back to the feed, wake, sleep pattern, but are not on a regular schedule as far as time goes. We are currently at 4/5 daytime feedings (3 of which include solids) with an additional baby-initiated nighttime feeding, sometime between 12am and 3am. Total nighttime sleep has been about 11 hours, and we're able to work in 3 (1.5 hr) naps a day.

Any suggestions about how to start back up as far as scheduling and getting her to sttn again? Should we just jump into a 4 hour routine with 2 naps or feed her more often during the day until she can sttn? Should I expect her to sleep through the night (aka CIO) or initiate a dream feed and then wean her off of it? Is there a way to manipulate our solid feedings to help her sleep longer? I'd really appreciate any suggestions you might have.

I am so thankful for your blog and all the time and effort that you've put into helping parents with their little ones. God bless.

Plowmanators said...

admannon,

I would have a consistent first feeding of day and a consistent bedtime.

I would try to not feed at night. I would go in and try to soothe her back to sleep without feeding.

I would try to have regular feeding times each day.

Ali Rhodes said...

Hi babywise mums and dads

I am deperately seeking some guidance.
I have a 5.5 month old baby girl. She was big at birth (9lbs 8oz) and is 23lbs now at 5.5 months! she is tall too like her mummy and daddy. I breastfed her for 4 and half months which was so demanding as she ate every 2 hours.
I read the Babywise book a couple of weeks ago and really feel like we need this!
I have been really trying to implement the daytime schedules of feeding at same times (now every 3 hours on formula with two meals per day)
Things are getting a lot better and last night we had an amazing 6 hour stretch which i havent had for nearly two months now.
However today, the afternoon went all pear shaped.
Her last nap was only short at 37 mins and finished at 3pm. We were out and was fed back at home at 3.27pm with milk followed by dinner. She showed signs of tiredness within the hour and tried to settle her, she wasnt having none of it. Tried from 4pm-4.35pm left her to it, but she just would not settle. ended up aborting it and gettign her up as she seemed wide awake. Daddy came home, she played with him for half an hour and then showed signs of tiredness again at 5pm, so i tried again for over half an hour but she wouldnt settle, In the end i had to give her some milk (6oz she took, even though had only been 2 hours since the last) after that she wouldnt settle adn by this time it was nearer 6pm and bedtime is around 7pm.
It all got so frustrating as i know she was so tired, but so frustrating for me as i had tried my best to catch the 'window' of sleep twice. feel like it was a failure afternoon.
we had a short bath at 6:15pm and then bedtime routine rushed and another 3.5oz just before bed at 6:45pm.
Where am i going wrong? please help!
I know it would have been better for her to have slept longer at the 2pm nap but she woke early. Should I have fed her right away (which would have been only 2.25 hours since the last one) and then tried to settle her back after a short wake time? poor thing was up for nearly 4 hours which was jsut way too much i know.
I was trying to keep to the feeding times, but if baby wakes early from a nap do you feed then, or wait say half hour until the set time?

Hope all this jumbled writing makes sense. really look forward to your thoughts.

thanking you in advance
Alison and baby India
x

HubbysSweetheart said...

I am so glad to have stumbled onto this site! Sorry for the huge long post. I guess I’ll start with a bit of background. I borrowed babywise while pregnant(I took lots of notes though and looked forward to implementing them.)
Well our little girl had Super bad gas issues, colic and acid reflux so beyond being regular about the wake,eat,sleep cycle we didn't do too much else. In addition to her challenges, our little girl is a touchy/textbook/spirited baby and crying can quickly escalate into choking/not breathing spells so we haven’t done CIO at all yet. I tried to make sure never to do 'bad' habits too many times in a row.... although we did form a few, these were necessary for survival…..
At six mo she’s still swaddled at night. As a typical touchy baby she is a thrasher and when trying to go to sleep unless held still will just continue to keep herself awake by thrashing. She sleeps on her side in a boppy for both her naps and nights. She uses a pacifier to sleep for naps, (only thing that let her sleep with the AR and colic)we did this so she would at least sleep Some.
So she just turned six months old and since 4 months she has flopped back and forth from slowly stretching her sleep time to almost STTN for several days/almost a week to waking up in the middle of the night to feed. She always ate a full feeding when she woke up so I attributed this to growth spurts? Her nights would then slowly begin to stretch out again.
Recently though she is getting up ALOT at night and it is only getting worse. I am dragging through the night and days. For both our sakes I knew something had to change so the first step I’m taking is to wean her from nursing to sleep at night, as well as slowly wean from her nighttime feeds
She has always been on a regular schedule…. I have always been good to keep her on track. She just switched to a 4 hr one to see if that will help. She takes 2 1.5 hr naps and one 30-45 min.
So now my questions, I realize that she has a sucking sleep association (touchy-won’t calm without it) I was hoping she’d switch to a finger so she could self soothe but she just couldn’t ever get the hang of it and with her issues and for our sanity… pacifier. She doesn’t have to have it all night, in fact she prefers it out after falling asleep. We swaddle because of the thrashing which prevents her from re-inserting it herself …would probably just pull it out if not swaddled.
You have stated that they need to self soothe in order to STTN my questions are these…

Can she self soothe being swaddled? Like I said she can go to sleep for naps unswaddled but will wake at that 45 min mark and need me to hold her still for a few seconds/half a min to remind her to not thrash and wind herself up (but she has her pacifier…. don’t know if this would work without it) I think at this point she has also come to associate being swaddled=nighttime sleep.
If she can’t self soothe swaddled I don’t want to take away the pacifier and leave her unable to soothe herself.

How do you CIO with AR and Touchy babies who start having issues when they cry? (Bad cry hiccoups and choking/not being able to breathe) Also, she still has gas issues here and there (no matter what I do I can’t seem to get rid of it altogether) so usually one time a night she is crying because she is in actual pain, a pacifier calms her enough to pass it and fall back asleep and I would feel bad just leaving her in pain with no comfort so...

How do I keep consistency with an issue like this if I do take away the pacifier?
Anyways, thoughts??? Again sorry for the long post, but I thought background might help you answer my questions.
Thank you so much for your blog!!

Rachel Warner said...

I've been reading babywise, and would love to start now with my 6 month old. However, I'm not sure how to go about the consistency in the first feeding of the day. My baby seems to wake up at different times every day. The other day it was 5:30, another day, 7:00, sometimes 6:00, and today was 8:30.... Do I need to pick a time and start waking her up? What if I pick 7, and she wakes up earlier than the scheduled time?

Fabian Chavez said...

My son is 6 months old. He's a big and tall baby that sleeps great during the day but not at night. He eats at 5:30ish in the morning, awake sometimes at that time but mostly sleeps until 7 or 8. Fed at 8:30 or 9 then at 12 or 12:30, 3 and 6. He is so cranky and tired around 4:30 and really wants to sleep but he just fusses and can't settle down. He has two really good naps usually at 9:30 to 11:30 and also 1 to 3. My problem is I don't know when I should put him to sleep (typically I put him down at 6 because I am exhausted from all the crying and fussing starting at 4:30). Also he wakes at night several times usually at 9 or 10 then at 1 and 3 in the morning. When do I put him to sleep and his do I avoid him waking up at night? He eats plenty during the day and sleeps well and goes down easy during the day.

Fabian Chavez said...

Also I should add that I usually let him CIO at the 9 or 10:00 hour at night But I feed him at 1:00 at night. Otherwise we try to CIO with me shushing him, singing to him and rubbing his hand and belly (he sleeps on his back). No CIO is needed during his day naps so why is he waking so much at night? Am I wrong to feed him at 1 am?

Fabian Chavez said...

My son is 6 months old. He's a big and tall baby that sleeps great during the day but not at night. He eats at 5:30ish in the morning, awake sometimes at that time but mostly sleeps until 7 or 8. Fed at 8:30 or 9 then at 12 or 12:30, 3 and 6. He is so cranky and tired around 4:30 and really wants to sleep but he just fusses and can't settle down. He has two really good naps usually at 9:30 to 11:30 and also 1 to 3. My problem is I don't know when I should put him to sleep (typically I put him down at 6 because I am exhausted from all the crying and fussing starting at 4:30). Also he wakes at night several times usually at 9 or 10 then at 1 and 3 in the morning. When do I put him to sleep and his do I avoid him waking up at night? He eats plenty during the day and sleeps well and goes down easy during the day.

BexiBlitger said...

My LO is 10weeks. She was on the eat-play-sleep schedule but it was rough (when she would wake up, i would feed her, play with her and put her to zzz when she seemed tired.. but it was never certain times and nap times were irregular lenght.. id feed her if she woke up happy but could be after only 30-45min.. if not happy and seemed tired i would try getting her back to sleep. I have now started the proper easy sched, trying to keep with the times. Few Questions:
- she wakes up after 40/50 min, but seems happy. Problem is feed is around 10 and she will wake up at 9ish.. (goes for nap at 8.15 as that is when she starts yawning. I keep trying to get her back to sleep but will gradually get louder and i pick her up, she calms down and i put her back in cot and continue the shhh and patting. She will "fall asleep" but one eye is slightly open and she doesnt seem asleep but rather in a deep relaxation mode. She will lie like thia for 5-10min before fussing , i continue the shhh and pats but she just gets fussier and fussier, starts winging. Pick her, put her downafter 20secs and ssh/pat. But it continues like this until feed time. I thought mayb patting si long was too much for her, so i tried gradually slowing down and stopping after 4min or so in her cot but continue shhhh. She would still lie in relax-mode for another 5min then the cycle begins again. It seems that no matter whether i do pat/shh for 10min, 20seconds or just shhh that sue will only lie as deeply relqxed for 10min after the first 45min of naps time. What am i doing wrong??
-i have also tried the waketosleep method.. going in after 30min of nap and rubbing her belly a bit to slightly wake her. I then patt/shh her back to sleep, and she sleeps. But will still wake up 15min later, and the aboge cycle of "relqxation' continues. Sound like habitual waking but not sure.
-at night. Cluster feeds ajd dream feed. Wakes up at 12-1 i put uer back to sleep. Wakes up qt 3 i feed her. Sleeps till 7&7.30.. but even then, she will only eat 70 to 90ml. (This is what she eats during the day as well. A full feed). But i thought at 10 almost 11 weeks that they should he eating more? For 8pm cluster feee, will only eat 30ml, and at dream feed 60.. not really tanking up but seems fine at night... Is that normal?
Please help!! Quite young teenage mother here...

BexiBlitger said...

Should also mention when she gets her feed at 10am she wont eat more than an ounce. Two tops even when its been 3hours since last feed...

BexiBlitger said...

One more thing... sorry... When she wakes up aftrr 45min she seems happy.. do i pick her up or spend an hour trying to get her back to zz, which includes picking her up many times as if i dont she will become unhapy whilst me trying to get her back to sleep.. ! I spend the rest of nap time unsuccesfully trying to get het back to sleep. Then i take her out at food time to feed her but she is tired 40-50 min later. How can i stick to schedule without missing my window?? Anyone help!! Email at rebecca@jaffamedia.com!! Thanks

Stacee Blaauwbroek said...

Could some please help me! I have 9week old DD and I want to start BW right away and I tried with a schedule I made up on Monday and she is just out of wack now it's ridicuouls. She feed every 3 hours and she only sleep 30-45min nap and I cannot get hem to stretch out longer ( accept for today she is currentlt taking a 2 hour nap, so weird? ) any ways I need help with creating a schedule that suite her eat and sleep pattern. C an any one help me? please email me @ sblaauwbroek@ahoo.ca and just lable it BW schedule so I know. thank you I would seriously appricate it I am so lost.

Crafty Housewife said...

I am just finding Babywise on the suggestion of a friend who used this method on some of her children. I have 4 children and only two of them consistently sleep through the night. My 10 year old sleeps great, my 4 year old sleeps great at night and will take a 2 hour nap during the day. My 2.5 year old STILL has never been a sleep through the night kind of guy, fights going to sleep, and is very cranky in general. If I lay him down at 7:30, he might not go to sleep until 10 or later. I haven't made it to toddlerwise, but I am headed there for him and would love any advice as I am starting super late with him. Then I have a 6.5 month old baby girl. For the first 5 months she slept GREAT! I don't remember anything big happening to change things, but she has been waking up as many as 4-5 times a night (I demand-fed my 2.5 y.o. and started doing the same with baby girl). Now I am exhausted, am documenting our schedule to check for patterns, and last night put her down as suggested (I have always done CIO, but not in conjunction with this type of scheduling) She only woke once last night (I realize there can be some hard nights still) and my husband and I finally got some much needed rest. The difficult part of reading the book is finding more information about starting late with a child that's already through the first 6 months. Suggestions?

Shayla Hoskins said...

My son is 8 weeks old, and we are just now starting BW. We've already been doing some of the suggestions without knowing it was part of BW. He's been on a pretty good eat/wake/sleep schedule for about 4 weeks, but I'm wondering if I need to change his schedule a little bit. He eats a 4 oz. bottle every 4 hours (6, 10, &2). It's really not a bad schedule for us now, but I would like to eliminate the 2 am feeding before I have to start back to work in 4 weeks. Should I change his schedule so that he is eating every 3 hours instead of 4?

reesag said...

Hello! And HELP! I have been attempting a BW schedule with my baby boy since about week 4. Lots of factors made it difficult to get consistency going and it has taken this long (now he’s 14 weeks) for me to throw up my hands and just ask for some help. I am facing a couple major things that make BW confusing and difficult for me: one being my work schedule and two being that his naps are very unpredictable and make it really hard for me to keep the eat/wake/sleep pattern intact.
Inconsistent naps= inconsistent feedings: When we started BW he took to it immediately although there were a couple of hiccups, namely being that he hated sleeping flat on his back so we had to resort to a bouncer or swing. We have been working on that since but it’s practically impossible to predict where he will sleep the longest since the one fluke night he slept TTN it was in his crib and naps in both his swing and crib vary greatly in time. But he napped well for the first week and then he just didn’t anymore. Some naps were 30 minutes some were 2 hours, each days naps were different hardly ever forming a consistent pattern. Add in a 3.5 hour stay at grandma’s every day while I worked and we just had a recipe for failure! As he got older it just seemed to get worse and his nighttime sleep went from waking only once to waking nearly every hour, then sometimes only twice a night, usually at different times. So all that to say, my concern now is getting him back on something consistent. I have 2 weeks off work and want to take this time to solidify a schedule. He is 14 weeks and SEEMS to be eating every 3-3.5 sometimes even 4 hours but it doesn’t line up with when he wakes up from naps since he naps for such inconsistent amounts of time (always going down easily but usually waking too early therefore leading me to allowing the long naps when they happen ). I find myself trying to feed him when he wakes early but he shies away from the breast and spits up, then I try again about 30-45 min later and he will take… This ends up equaling a snacking type feeding schedule which I know is a BW no-no! So I guess my question is since his naps are so out of whack and I am basically starting BW from scratch here, do I focus on the feeding times first and try to see if the naps will follow suit? If not, how do I extend his nap time? Do I just let him CIO until it’s actually time to feed? Sometimes he wants to get up and just hang out and play but he knows his e/w/s pattern that he always expects to eat when he wakes up even if he’s not that hungry and will give me a really hard time if I don’t at least TRY to feed him within 15 or 20 min of him waking up. Also, since he is already 14 weeks, what is the healthiest feeding interval to start him at? His naps make it more like a 2.5 hour schedule but his hunger levels seem to lean more towards 3.5 or sometime 4 hour schedule. Since these two things don’t line up I don’t know where to start and I don’t want to keep changing things on him since he needs consistency!
Work schedule: Henry goes to grandma’s house from 10-1:30, 5 days a week while I work. I try to feed him at 9:30 before we go, then he usually naps for me around 2 when we get home. I have found regardless of when he starts his day or how much he will take at his 9:30 feeding, he seems to always get tired for her around 11 and eats around 12:15-12:30 with that nap usually only lasting about 30-40 minutes. I guess I’m just laying this out because I have had a hard time figuring out the best time to start his day when he has to be traveling at 9:50 and 1:45 and so I find feeding times being too close together or too far apart and that optimal nap times will overlap optimal travel times. Guess I’m just looking for advice on schedule times since I like him to only spend about 1 cycle at grandmas (one nap and one feeding) Sorry this was so long, I wanted to include the most info up front to avoid too much back and forth.

reesag said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dana Kern said...

Hello, my baby is 4.5 months old and we would like to implement a schedule for our baby at this time. I see on the sample schedules that nap time is about 1.5 -2 hours between nurse and play time. What do you recommend as to what time we should start putting baby down for the nap, before the nap, and what tips do you have? We have also noticed that our baby will fuss with his eyes closed when putting him down for his nap, and read that is light sleep. Does that count as actual sleep? I have always nursed to sleep.

I may have more questions.
Thank you for the support.

Valerie Plowman said...

For a baby that age, if baby gets up at 7am, you will put baby back down for the next nap anywhere from 8 am to 8:30 am for most babies. Some might do 9 am. I have a post on optimal waketime lefty that will help you figure that out. Light sleep does count as actual sleep. Be sure to read my updated post on starting late that is linked at the top of this page. Good luck!

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