If You Start At Birth:
If you start BW at birth, you can expect it to get a lot better at about 8 weeks, then dramatically better at 3 months, and then life is sweet at 6 months. When I say start at birth, I mean start at birth. I mean that you start CIO at 1 week. I mean that you work on a consistent wake time no matter how tired you are in the morning. I mean that you are working toward the 3 hour schedule (keeping in mind the many growth spurts in this time period). I mean that you are consistent. That you try to stay home for 90% of naps. I know you are stir crazy. I know you are dying to get out of the house; grocery shopping is a thrill! But if you take those first 8 weeks and really focus on getting your child into a steady rhythm and get CIO down to WIO (whimper it out) and even SIO (sleep it out), then by week 8 you will have reached stabilization. Your baby will be stable in patterns and if he gets disrupted he will bounce back rather quickly. Well worth it, at least in my eyes.
If You Start Late:
This category applies to you if you started the whole program late AND if you started just a portion of the program late. You fed your baby on a 2.5-3 hour schedule from birth? Great! Did you CIO? No? Then you started late. You can't get the full benefits of the program until you follow the full guidelines of the program. Do what you want to, but expect realistic results. Now, once you start and you are consistent and follow all of the stipulations put forth in the previous paragraph about starting, expect 8 weeks of work before you get the major payoff. Most babies will stop crying altogether for naps by then (I know one who from birth never cried more than 5 minutes, but cried until he was a year--he just needed it to settle down). Both of mine stopped altogether. You will likely see results faster, but plan on 8 weeks and you will hopefully be pleasantly surprised.
I purposefully planned Kailtyn's due date so that it would be at a time of year I knew we could stay home for the most part. Brayden was born 6 weeks later in the year, and it was too crazy. We couldn't stay home long enough to get him stabilized. Kaitlyn was done by the time crazy summer activities started. We started Brayden at 9 weeks, and he took 2 months even amidst the craziness of it all. I think he would have been faster if we had taken the time to get him there. Once I committed to getting him in a routine, it only took 2-4 weeks. BUT he was a little behind Kaitlyn in the major milestones (STTN, perfect and predictable routine, etc.). He got there. She got there faster.
Your child will get there, too. This time of year (Christmas time) is a crazy time and not one you can stay home and get your child stable. Keep working on it, and in January start a plan to get your child into a predictable, steady routine. Once you do, you can disrupt it with little or no problems. It is worth the initial effort.
- Catherine said...
Hello,Thanks again for your insight and wisdom- it's helping so much in a confusing time! Can I get your thoughts again? This is what I did yesterday. Usually, we keep him awake and eating intermittently for 1 hr. Then 30 min more awake time, and nap. He was sleeping on a good day 2-3 naps, but consistently not sleeping the same ones- the 11 and 2, and on a bad day, the morning nap and 5:00 too. (We are on 3 hr. schedule) Couldn't get him to sleep at all those naps if he didn't fall asleep himself, and never tried helping him to fall asleep. Then at night he would go 4-5 hr stretches including feeds, so about 3-4.5 hr time actually sleeping, roughly.Anyway, yesterday, I went with his cues as being tired cues instead of hungry cues. (the cues I described in my previous post.) His waketime yesterday was anywhere from 30 min to 1.5 hrs including feed.During the feed, I let him stop eating after the initial sucking period where he would come off and not eat anymore instead of waiting and getting him to eat small minutes of time intermittently throughout an hour. We moved forward in the cycle at that point.When I put him down, I helped him. I let him sleep in his favorite seat, and rocked him in it for 10-15 min until he settled.The previous 3 days he has had no naps, so that's why I decided to help. I felt he was possibly seriously overstimulated.He settled down in his seat,and slept 2 hrs 3 out of 4 naps with me having to wake him up. His last nap, I put him in the seat, but let him cry it out there. He cried himself to sleep after about 45 min. of sporadic crying. I had to wake him up for the next feeding.I don't plan on helping him all the time, but due to his previous 3 days of no sleeping, I felt that he needed more sleep each day than 7 hrs. total in 24 hrs. (I was letting him cry it out but he couldn't get to sleep.) Anyway, my confusion as to if I'm handling this correctly came tonight. He has been up every 2.5 hrs instead of every 4 or 5. Is he just adjusting due to a serious change in habits in his daytime cycle? (eating for 10-20 min total instead of 1 hr. and a little over 2 hr. nap instead of 1.5 hr.) Or am I seriously blowing it and screwing up his nights in thinking that he's not still hungry and treating it as a sleep issue and not a hunger one? Yesterday I put him down as soon as I could after I saw him start doing the cues that looked like hunger cues. Like I said, with the help he fell asleep. I felt like if he were actually hungry, he would not have slept 2 hrs. and have to be reawakened, is that correct? Anyway, I am super confused, and definitely not ok with him waking every 2.5 hrs in the night! :)Any thoughts you have would be seriously appreciated!
February 29, 2008 9:29 AM
One another question- what exactly is meant by the term self soothe and the best strategy to teach them to do that?
February 29, 2008 10:50 AM
Sorry, meant to say, what is the best strategy to teach them to self soothe?
February 29, 2008 10:50 AM
Catherine,I think it is possible that he is just adjusting to new things. I think you are correct in assuming that if you had to wake him from naps, he had enough to eat and isn't hungry.To self-soothe means for baby to learn to put himself asleep on his own. Cry it out is one way to do that. There are several books out there for other options for attaining that goal, though I haven't read any of them. If I were you, I would break down your goals into smaller steps rather than taking them all on at once. All at once can be overwhelming.First, I would do the eat, wake, sleep cycle and get baby used to that, but continue to help him fall asleep. Do this for a bit until you are confident he is getting enough to eat and he is used to the way things are. Watch your waketime and get to know the right time to put him down for a nap. Most babies the age of your son can't go longer than an hour of waketime. Too much waketime will cause shorter naps and harder time falling asleep. You will have to decide what the right waketime is for your son, though. After you have that cycle down, I would then start on the CIO. Be aware that the longer you wait to start, the harder it gets, but it can always be done. See the CIO posts listed on the blog index. Good luck!
February 29, 2008 1:59 PM
Hello,Thanks so much once again for your help. It's so nice to know that the support is out there!After helping him with all of his naps a couple days and his night time sleeping going down, I decided to try helping him with only 2-3 naps and letting him cio 1-2 naps.(or vice versa) His night time sleeping went right back to pretty normal. I figured that he obviously needs the daytime activity. Anyway, he has been cio the naps in his crib, he starts off crying for about 10-20 minutes, then stops. I can sometimes hear him making little noises in there. Then, one day, he would start crying again after 35 min. The next day it is up to 1 hr each nap. Then he either cries the rest of the way through the nap, or is quiet again for about 30 min, then cries again for the last 30 minutes before the feeding.Anyway, I feel like after that initial crying period he is in there just trying to get himself to sleep, and after a certain point he just gives up and cries again. I think that because the time is getting longer almost every day of CIO. Also because he has usually squirmed out of his swaddle which tells me he is moving around. Has anyone ever had their child do that? Does my interpretation sound correct, or maybe something else is going on?Also I am really struggling to figure out how much waketime is appropriate for him. He is 6 weeks on Wed. (Growth spurt coming to add yet another variable- ahhh!) Almost immediately after finishing eating he will start with his little cues. But if I put him right down then, he ends up sleeping less at night and appearing not hungry, but in need of some activity, especially now since he's not crying the entire naps during cio like before. My question is- if he's doing the tired cues (which confusingly look like hunger cues, but almost 100% sure we have that ruled out now) right away, when on earth do I put him down? He seems to do them on a spectrum. They start off mildly right after eating. They grow to where he is fidgety and seems anxious, but can still get distracted by other activities. Then they get to where is crying and fussy but can still get distracted by other activities. I have been trying to figure out where in the spectrum to put him down. Previously my husband and I, thinking he was hungry, would keep him awake for 1.5 hours including the feeding time. He went down great for naps excluding the afternoon naps, where he was usually more awake. Just trying to figure out how to know when is the right window!!! Any thoughts? Where in your child's cue spectrum do you put them down? Or should I just pick a set time? I want to make it consistent for him- since I go off his cues now the amount of his waketime is not terribly consistent.
March 3, 2008 2:50 PM
He is likely falling asleep for those 30 minutes, but obviously a 30 minute nap is not long enough. He is likely still working on getting the self-soothing down. More practice will help him get it.Your waketime at that age will likely be 45-60 minutes, including your feeding. Waketime starts the moment he wakes up. Have you tried a pacifier during waketime? If he looks like he needs to eat during waketime, perhaps he just needs more sucking time.My son got fussy when it was time for a nap. My daughter yawned once for a while, then she had no cue. I now just watch the clock and put her down when it is time. The right cue is going to have to be determined by you, and if he gives nothing obvious, X amount of time is a good idea. At his age, each waketime should be pretty much the same length.
March 3, 2008 9:54 PM
Hi Valerie,You are right- he is falling asleep during those times following crying. I finally went in and looked tonight. He cried for 6- min and then made little sounds for a bit, but he did fall asleep. His naptimes have increased over the last couple days from 30 minutes to 1 hr exactly, to 1.5 hrs tonight. Do you think it will continue to go up?I tried a pacifier with him and he seemed pretty disinterested. Do I:1) Go off of his cues and put him down right away? That would basically be: nurse, diaper change, bed. (Since he begins his cues about 30 seconds- 1 minute after finishing eating.) I am wondering how to do give him a consistent naptime if I do it this way, since his nursing sessions vary anywhere from straight sucking of 8-18 or 19 minutes, usually just a couple on the lower end, a couple in the middle, and a couple longer ones throughout the day. 2) Do a set waketime of 45-60 min. given the guidelines for his age regardless of his cues?I am just looking forward to getting feed/wake/sleep in a consistent pattern for him! Thanks again.
March 3, 2008 10:28 PM
Yes, it will get longer. Both of my kids did the same thing. It is part of the learning process--you just have to wait it out. I know it is hard, it was hard for me the second time knowing it would come, but it will come :)I would probably go for a time table-- 45-60 minutes -- but be flexible about it. What I did was watch the clock, and when it was 45 minutes, I started watching for those cues. The hard thing at a young age is that timing is so important. One minute can make the difference. So I would try to just watch her and not pay attention to anything else so I wouldn't miss the cues (kind of hard when the two year old was in the mix ;) ). If the cues come earlier, by all means, put him down. But I would think at his age he could go 30 minutes (total) at least. However, he is his own person.
March 4, 2008 9:59 AM
Hi Valerie,I feel like I would be able to give him a more consistent nap time each cycle if I did the time frames. Can I tell you his pattern and see what you think? Because basically his cues start within 30 seconds of finishing eating. He finishes eating, leans back and looks content, then lets out a big yawn and the cues start. They just go on a spectrum. He starts out getting jumpy looking, trying to push himself onto his back, batting his hand, sticking out his tongue, increased breathing, then grow to where he just seriously looks anxious and likes he has ants in his pants!, then he'll suck on his fingers and cry, then when it's really bad he cries, kicks his legs, and sneezes at the same time! (randomly!) But these cues usually start out very mild right after eating and just grow as the time progresses. Anyway, I really just want to get this somewhat down, so he has a consistent waketime each cycle and we can really establish the feed/wake/sleep. His nights have been so messed up the last week, and it's really starting to freak us out. He used to go 4-4.5 hr stretches at night when we kept him up for 1.5 hr waketimes, now he's at 2.45 min- 3 hour cycles during the night. And it's changing every night. Maybe because I've been changing the waketimes almost every cycle of the day trying to figure this out?What do you think?
March 4, 2008 10:30 AM
P.S. I am starting to wonder if the only reason he ever slept that long at night was because he was totally crashing from us keeping him up way too long.Also last night both the naps that he had 1 hr waketime exactly he fell asleep after crying 9-10 minutes, the second nap he made it over 2 hrs, I had to wake him up for the dreamfeed. Does this mean anything? This morning he was awake for one hour 6 minutes, and he cried at first and has been crying intermittently for the last 30 min.
March 4, 2008 10:34 AM
I am wondering if he is having some sort of medical issue. Either gas, some intolerance to something you are eating, reflux...It just sounds like he isn't content after eating.It is possible to have disruptions in night because the day is not as consistent anymore. Keep working on it--you will get there!Keep track of wake time lengths and see what works at what time of day. It sounds like he is getting it. I am not sure what you are asking about waking him for the DF. It would indicate that he is sleeping better, but not that he is ready to drop it--you want to wait until he sleeps 9-10 hour stretches consistently.Basically sleeps from dreamfeed until your desired waketime.Like I said, a couple of minutes can make a huge difference. If one hour he sleeps well, but one hour six minutes he doesn't, make sure to get him down by one hour. Good luck!
March 4, 2008 1:39 PM
Thanks- I will definitely look into the potential medical issue. For a little bit his cues would start exactly 10 minutes into his waketime, but that was when we were keeping him awake 50-55 min for a feed. Since I changed his eating pattern they have been almost immediate- like I said, he comes off, looks happy, lets out a yawn, and they start.Anyway, I will def. keep track of wake time lengths- what I meant about mentioning the DF was wondering if him sleeping well two times after being awake for 1 hr. meant anything, not if I should drop the DF. Can I ask you another question? I posted this elsewhere under night time sleeping but it's really giving us a hard time. At night I feed him, and then he falls asleep on me, or I move him to where I'm holding his head in my lap. I get up to put him in the crib and he jostles a bit, but as soon as I lower him on his back to put him down into the crib I hear him startle and he's wide awake. I tried to let him CIO the other night, but he was awake crying for 1.5 hrs. and never could get himself to sleep- finally he was so worked up and tired I had to put him in the swing. Anyway, this has been happening the last few weeks- I'm not sure what to do! I don't want to rock him or do anything to get him dependent on me putting him to sleep @ night- what do I do? This happened every night time feed last night, and I feel like it really messes things up because he ends up going into the crib eyes wide open. Just like during the day. Anyway, what do you think?
March 4, 2008 4:43 PM
P.S. I should mention that previously, whenever I would hear him jostle (he really started doing this after he exited the I'm a sleepy newborn will not wake up for anything no matter what- even a diaper change phase) after putting him in the crib, and I felt like he came somewhat close to not being able to fall right asleep, I would pick him up and feed him until he finally would go in the crib and sleep. Now that I think about it, was I just soothing him back to sleep through unnecessary feeding? Have I trained him that if he can't get to sleep after being jostled at night, don't worry, because Mommy will come rescue you? The other night after I let him CIO for 1.5 hours after him waking up going into the crib- I even tried to do this- I fed him, it had been 2 hours since previous feeding, not enough for at night, but I did anyway, and I still couldn't calm him down, he was sooo tired. It took 10 minutes of wailing in his swing before he finally slept. Do I just need to let him CIO for a few sleepless nights? Once he succeeds with CIO @ night, will he ever get to the place where he will fall back asleep at night w/out crying if he does get jostled?I am confused, but just do NOT want to train him that if he wakes up at night and can't fall back asleep, mommy will come rescue him with comfort food! Is that what I've been teaching him? Ahhhh! :) What do you think?
March 4, 2008 5:17 PM
P.S. This is happening during the DF and the middle of the night feeds where he wakes me.
March 4, 2008 5:18 PM
Sara Louise! said...
Catherine-I've been reading your posts and thought I may have a suggestion for the nights when cio doesn't seem to work. I am a Babywise mom and my 7 week old slept 9 hours last night! While I LOVE Babywise, I also read The Baby Whisperer and she suggests doing what you need to soothe a crying baby- rocking, pacifier, holding- then placing them back in the crib as soon as they stop crying. This calms them down, but still teaches them that they have to get themselves to sleep. She said one night she picked up a baby 130+ times, then the next night it was 40+, then less the next night, and by 3 nights the baby was trained. This is just an idea but hope it helps!Maggie (Sara Louise's mom)
March 4, 2008 5:48 PM
If he is sleeping well after one hour of waketime, I would stick with that and see how it goes.I did respond to the question under night time sleep. (here is the link to that post: Nighttime Sleep Issues: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nightime-sleep-issues.html).You are really going to have to figure out what works best for him. Some babies can handle parents coming in. Some can handle being rocked. Some cannot. I do like this advice when figuring out at what point to interfere. If you go in and baby calms immediately, you likely interfered too quickly. If it takes baby a long time to calm down, you waited too long. If it takes about 4-6ish minutes, you hit it just right. You really don't want your baby to get to the point that he can't calm down. If you can't calm him, he certainly can't calm himself. I like the ideas of Maggie. I know that wouldn't have worked for my son, though. You have to figure out what is best for your son. Keep trying things out, don't worry. Thanks Maggie for your added input!
March 4, 2008 9:54 PM
- Catherine said...
Hi Valerie, Hope you are doing well. We are making good progress but I had a question. My son has been sleeping great 4/5 of his naps- actually now that we have moved waketime down to 30 min he has been sleeping 2- 2.5 hrs 4 naps a day! (3 on a bad day.) Anyway, we just can't seem to get the first nap of the day down. He goes down without crying and just make little noises to himself for 30-45 minutes before finally starting to cry. Once he cries he will cry the duration of the nap, one day he fell asleep the last 15 min. but that was it. This has been happening for about 5 or 6 days now. I have tried putting him in a swing, the stroller, all to no avail. He is definitely a no-interference type. It just makes it so much worse for him when I try to help him get some sleep in the nap after he's been crying over an hour straight. It actually seems to mess up all his naps the entire day when I do that! Did that ever happen to you? Anyway, do I need to perhaps shorten this one waketime by a few minutes? Either way do I have any other options besides CIO? It doesn't feel like I do, but I do want him to get some sleep at this nap in the future.
March 11, 2008 12:21 PM
- Plowmanators said...
Catherine,Yes, that happened to me. My son was the same way. I could not interfere with him at all. If I did, it threw him off for days.The first waketime of the day is often the shortest. I would start by shortening it and see how it goes. Even 5 minutes can make a difference.
March 12, 2008 9:56 AM
- Shawna said...
We have just started CIO during naps. DS will cry for 10 min. when I put him down the he will wake up after about 30-45 min. He is 5.5 months and sleeping 11 hours at night. He is on a 3.5hr. schedule. He does great at night, but we are having napping issues and decide to try CIO. How long do you think it will take him to go down for a nap and not cry? Thanks so much!Shawna
July 1, 2008 8:06 AM
As I say in this post, I would plan on 8 weeks. It might even be longer since you started later, though it could also be less time if your DS learns quickly and already has some self-soothing ability. Remember to be consistent. Plan on two weeks of a lot of difficulty before you see big improvement overall.
July 5, 2008 3:30 PM
- Lorri said...
So I'm not sure if I should leave a really long comment about what I'm doing, but Catherine did so here it goes:My son, 3 months old sounds much like yours did-power naps 20-40 minutes seemed all he would do. I started putting him down groggy, but not asleep-although it seems I have to rock him to get him to be groggy otherwise he goes from awake to mad.He started sleeping 1 hour but still wakes up screaming his head off. Does this indicate he isn't done with his nap. Babywise says to not rush in, he might surprise you and cry for only 10 minutes and go back to sleep-he cries for another 30 and is no where near going back to sleep.It could be that at 3 months old he is still getting up at night. The pediatrician says to still give him the late night feeding-10pm- because he lost a ton of weight when he was in the hospital with pneumonia. But otherwise from there should be able to go till 7am. First of all, he eats at 7am 10am 1pm 4pm and 7pm and 10pm pretty consistently only varying 30 minutes at most here and there. After his 7pm feeding we've done trial and error as far as when then to put him to bed. We've let him stay up till 8pm right before he shows sleepy signs, we've put him right to bed after eating and everywhere between. But we have yet to have him fall asleep before the 10pm feeding. He just cries and fusses until 10pm. Most of the time my husband brings him out and lets him fall asleep on his chest on the couch.I then feed him at 10pm and put him down in his bassinet, and he falls right to sleep.But our son also still gets up every 3 hours during the night too. We even stopped feeding him, we would pat him on the back and give him a pacifier and he would go back to sleep within 20 minutes. This went on for a whole week. We knew that he wasn't hungry at those times, thats not why he was waking. We noticed that it was around 1am 3-3:30am and 5am that he would wake up.I know babywise says that some babies will wake up and talk to themselves for up to an hour, but he doesn't wake up talking, he wakes up crying.We decided that it was time to end this habit of waking up through the night. We checked with the pediatrician and he is healthy and gaining weight fine to cut out the morning feeding.Here is how his naps use to go:The 8am nap (he cant be up for more than an hour before he gets cranky) he cries for 40mins then went to sleep for another hour but like I said wakes up crying. I figured it was because he isn't sleeping through the night-but isnt going to be able to make up for that sleep in one nap. But after that one hour, he is DONE. I leave him there for 30 mins to cry and then go in and feed him. He also seems to become dependent on a pacifier and im not sure if I should break that habit at the same time. When it falls out of his mouth he wakes up...Then the same thing for the 11am nap and 2pm nap. When he gets up at 3-4ish he won't go back to sleep before his 7pm feeding. And then wont sleep before 10pm feeding either so he is awake from 4-10pm.I decided this all needed to stop. He needs his sleep. - Yesterday I put him down groggy at 8am. He cries for the 40mins and then sleeps 1 1/2 hours. - Wakes up like a demon screaming. I let him go for 30 minutes. I calm him down and soothe him then he eats. Play with him till 10:40. He gets groggy on his own.- Put him down for his 11am nap and he cries 40 minutes then sleeps another 1 1/2 hours. Wakes up crying, not screaming. Calm him and feed him at the 1pm time.- Play with him till 1:40 he gets groggy on his own again put him down and he sleeps 2 hours and 15 minutes. Wakes up crying. I soothe him.- 5pm I feed him.Dad comes home, we go for a walk in the stroller. He takes a 30 minute nap. Put him down in his bed, he wakes up and cries till 8pm feeding.-Feed him at 8pm massage him, put him in pajamas and he is asleep by 8:30pm. - Wake him up for 10pm feeding-give him the bottle with 4 oz. Because it is just 2 hours since he last ate. He normally eats 5 oz out of bottle-Dr. says he eats way more than the avg. kid his age and is amazed...- He barely wakes up to eat, eats all 4 oz though and then quietly goes back to sleep till 11:30pm.- 11:30pm he wakes up cries until 12:00 midnight then falls asleep.12:15am wakes up crying, screams till 1:30am.Wakes up at 3:30am crying, screams until 4:30am.Wakes up at 6am screaming. Our goal was to have him go 8 hours through the night, I can't stand him screaming so I feed him and have this be his get up time.Notice how I said screaming instead of crying too. This child has screamed himself to the point of gagging and choking for minutes on end. He does actually hit a lull every now and again where it dies down to a whimper and you can hear him sucking his fingers. But then he gags himself or if watching on the monitor you seem him start to close his eyes, his whole body will jerk and he wakes himself back up and the screaming continues.Swaddle-he finds it a game. You can swaddle him and he will cry and grunt and work on getting out of the swaddle rather than fall asleep. For the first 6 weeks of life, my husband, myself and any of the nurses had yet to put him in a swaddle he didn't get out of. At 2 weeks of age, the pediatrician said he had the muscle reflex and strength of a 2 month old, holding his head, scooting, standing by himself only propped up on something to help him keep his balance. So he sees the swaddle as something to get out of.Right now I put him down at 6:30am because he was still super sleepy and he slept till 9:15 and woke up without crying. I fed him, played with him and at 10:30 picked him up, carried him to his bed and put him down. He fell asleep without a peep. It is now 12noon.Do I wake him to feed him at 12:30? Because he screamed through the night, he shouldn't be rewarded with sleeping in during the day-he should learn to sleep at night right?Any help/suggestions/support would be great. My email is firstname.lastname@example.orgMy blog is www.momsadvice.wordpress.comWhen people described CIO they say how their little one cried for hours before they fell asleep, but they never say if their little one stayed asleep then? You would think after 1 1/2 hours of crying he would fall asleep and stay asleep.
August 8, 2008 12:04 PM
Lorri,I answered many of these questions on your CIO posts, so I will address other points here.I would guess one reason he is having such a hard time right now is you are both weaning him from the paci AND starting CIO. Understand that because of this, things will be harder than they would for a baby who is not used to having a paci. See this post:Pacifiers : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/pacifiers.html 1.5 hours is an acceptable length of nap. I don't think he is going to go back to sleep after a 1.5 hour nap. I would get him up and continue on with your day.Transferring a sleeping baby from a stroller to a bed is rarely going to work. I would just leave him in the stroller and put the stroller in a safe place.My son wouldn't be swaddled either, and the jerking reflex would wake him. Your son should outgrow this in the next month.I would wake him at 12:30 to stay on schedule and get the number of feeds in in the day he needs.It does sound like there has been improvement. Hang in there!
August 11, 2008 11:06 AM
- JamieT said...
I have a four and a half month little boy and have just started reading your blog. Thanks for all of the great information. After many sleepless months, we have decided to try CIO. I am nursing and we just started this a few days ago with my son for naps and bedtime. He is going down for naps beautifully! We put him in awake and there is no crying anymore and he will sleep for about an hour and a half three times a day (and one short nap in the evening). He will also go to sleep with just a few minutes of crying, but then right to bed. However, he does not stay asleep. He wakes up every 2-3 hours. I put him to bed around 7:00 pm, feed him at 10:00 (when he wakes up), but let him CIO when he wakes up after that. I used to feed him throughout the night to get him back to sleep, but he wasn't really eating at those times- just using me as a pacifier. However, since we started CIO, I have been feeding him when he wakes up crying (and then screaming) at 4:00am and then he sleeps until 7. Since we have started to CIO and he gets 6 feedings a day (7, 10, 1, 4, 7, 10), should I let him CIO at the 4 am time slot? I want his wake up time to remain at 7 and I'm not sure if he will make it until then. What do you think? Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!
August 11, 2008 11:23 AM
You can certainly try it. I would be positive he isn't waking for any other reason before CIO. IF you aren't sure of that, you will interfere and slow the whole process down. See also this post:4 month Sleep Problems : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/4-month-sleep-problems.html
August 11, 2008 11:12 PM
- Cammon said...
I really need some encouragement. I have been doing CIO for naps for 4 weeks now. Since then it has ONLY gotten worse. He also use to only get up 1 maybe 2 times at night and for the past 4 days its been every hour. I now feed my 4 month old who has slept through the night 3 nights in a row and that is all, 2 times a night.Right now this is the averages out of a 12 hours from 7am to 7pm:He is awake for 4.5 hours7-8am10-11am1-2pm4-5pmsometimes 6-6:30pmOut of those times, there is 20mins for feeding/diaperingHe sleeps for a total of 3 hours a day. He constantly wakes up 45min into his napHe cries for 4 hours and talks/complains for 30mins.I really really don't know if I can go on with him crying as much as he is awake. I've tried EVERYTHING.He doesn't cry going down for a nap or for bedtime any more. He puts himself to sleep but is constantly waking during naps. I've set the rule that he has to stay in bed for 1 1/2 hours so he sleeps abt 40mins wakes up and cries till we reach that mark. Then I take him out of bed and put him in his swing where he cries till its time to eat.Please tell me it is going to get better. NOTHING is working
September 3, 2008 10:21 AM
It sounds to me like things are getting better. He isn't crying before naps or bedtime anymore. My guess is he is going through a growth spurt and is waking because he is hungry. Have you treated his waking as a hunger problem? That is the first thing to check. See this post for more ideas: 4 month Sleep Problems : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/4-month-sleep-problems.html
45 Minute Intruder: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/45-minute-intruder.html
Naps: Troubleshooting: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/naps-troubleshooting.html
September 8, 2008 12:56 PM
- Ken and Rachael said...
Hi, Thanks so much for your blog!! I have found the posts incredibly helpful in learning how to parent my 3 month old. I am writing because we tried CIO at naps and bedtime from around 3 weeks. (He is generally good at bedtime - naps are harder.) Carter is a VERY high-strung, high-needs baby who tends to be fussy, demanding, wants to be held and walked CONSTANTLY, and has a lot of endurance when left to cry. With CIO we figured it would get better over time, but he was very inconsistent - some naps it would be 2 straight hours of screaming, others it would be 1 hour, then down to 30 min, then, 2 hours again. Over the course of a month there seemed to be no improvement whatsoever - he merely lost his voice and became much more grumpy during the day because he was barely sleeping at all! We tried adjusting the schedule, waketime, etc, and really couldn't make it work. After a while it was so exhausting for everyone we gave up and started rocking him to sleep again. Now he is 3 months and 13 lbs (which means he is heavy to carry!). He is extremely visual, and gets easily overstimulated - sometimes when he is tired he merely needs you to walk into a dark room or cover his eyes and he is asleep in seconds. It's like he can't shut himself off! I feel this is what's happening when he's left to CIO - he can't physically shut down and works himself into a complete frenzy that even WE can't calm him from after we go get him. I guess my question is... should we try CIO again? Does it 'work' for all babies, even those who have been high-needs since the moment they were born? Are we asking him to do something he just "can't" do, or is it merely that he needs to learn how, even if it means weeks of screaming and poor or no daytime sleep?Also, how can we know what he needs in terms of naps? He used to be on a fairly regular 3 hour schedule with many 1-hour naps, but now is seeming to want to do a longer nap in the morning, a longer nap in the afternoon, with a few shorter ones in there too. As his needs change, how do we know what he needs? I don't want to "force" him to lay in his crib crying at a time when he doesn't need a nap because he is growing out of that one.Sorry this is long - thanks for any help you can provide! My husband and I will be so grateful for your counsel.Yours, Rachael
October 7, 2008 9:03 AM
Rachel, CIO--I do think CIO can work for every child. Some children might be harder to figure out than others. I think you ultimately have to decide if you want to try again. He might have an easier time now that he is older. If you do decide to try again, be sure to read through the CIO Bootcamp post on this blog.For naps for a 3 month old, he needs a nap after each cycle. So he eats, he plays, he sleeps. This should mean he has 4 naps a day right now (I consider the "nap" after the 7pmish feeding to be bedtime). Around 4 months (some a little younger, some older) he should drop that 4th nap if he is still on a 3 hour schedule and just not sleep between the 4ish feeding and 7ish feeding. Be sure to see posts under "Dropping Things" in the blog index.
October 9, 2008 1:10 PM