Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Baby Whisperer: Sleep Disruptions

In Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg says sleep disruptions are inevitable for all babies. Here are some reasons for the disruptions (starting on page 187).


Hogg reminds readers that sleep disruptions like these do not last forever. Keep perspective and the big picture in mind. See: It's All About Perspective : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/its-all-about-perspective.html




Related Posts:

Reader Questions:

  • Heather said...
    hi jennifer...love the blog. would love your help with a quick issue.we have a 16 week old and ever since we dropped her 10p.m. feeding (gradually moved it back) she has been waking up around 5a.m. i can usually hold her off with a paci for 30 minutes or so, but i would really like her wake time to be 7a.m. because we feed her and put her down around 7p.m. when she wakes at 5a.m. she takes a full feeding and will go back to sleep for another 2-3 hours. what can i do to get her to move her waketime to 7a.m.? any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. thanks again for your wonderful help!heather
    October 1, 2008 9:20 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Heather, I think I would re-introduce the 10 PM feeding. Also, see this post:10-12 Hours of Sleep: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/07/10-12-hours-of-sleep.html
    PS--my name is Valerie :)
    October 1, 2008 3:54 PM

Monday, September 29, 2008

Enjoy the Moment

This is my latests post on Growingkids.org: http://www.growingkids.org/2008/09/29/enjoy-the-moment/

I think one of the hardest things for humans to do is to be happy where they are in life. “The grass is always greener on the other side.” This isn’t always necessarily a bad trait. It motivates us to improve our lives and surroundings. It helps us to improve ourselves. But it can also help us to be unhappy with our current situation and always look hopefully to the future without enjoying the present. It is this weakness I wish to address today.

I talk about this often, perhaps because it is something that I have trouble with and find myself continually working on it. I encourage everyone (including myself) to learn to enjoy each stage of life for what it is. I often hear young mothers long for the future when they will have time to do all the things they want to do, and older mothers long for those fun times with their young children. It is good to have goals and good to have fond memories, but we mustn’t let these two things rob us of the life we are currently living.

Let’s take stages of our children’s lives. I have often shared that my least favorite stage is the newborn stage. I much prefer the toddler stage, and I love having conversations with my son. I have good friends whose favorite stage is the newborn stage. Everyone has their preferred stages. When we recognize that each stage has its benefits and its drawbacks, we can learn to be happy where we are. There isn’t a stage where everything is perfect. You have long nights of newborn life, tantrums of toddlerhood, talking back of pre-teens, and power struggles with teenagers. We minimize these difficulties through applied principles of the –wise series, but we still encounter difficulties along the way. We also have the good qualities of stages. Newborns don’t talk back and are content to cuddle with you, toddlers are constantly learning and are fascinated with every detail of life around them, pre-teens amaze us with their intelligence, and in teen years we can start to really enjoy the fruits of our labors as our children-turning-adults make wise decisions. Whatever stage(s) your child(ren) is at, I encourage you to focus on the things you love about it—enjoy each good thing that you will never see again from that child.

There is also a major lifestyle difference among all the stages of life. As a mother with two young children, I have certain times of day that we I “stuck” home, except in those extenuating circumstances when we take advantage of flexibility in our schedule. For naptime, we are home each day. This limits the number of hours we can spend running errands or playing at the park. Also, no matter how well behaved your children are, it is hard to run errands with them.
Right now, I am also pregnant with my third child. Pregnancy is hard on me; I am one of those women who is really, really sick 24 hours a day for 9 months. One day a few weeks ago, a sweet friend of mine dropped by unexpectedly with dinner for my family. This friend of mine has no children. She and her husband have been trying to have children for 4-5 years. They have tried in-vitro several times without success, and are now waiting with many other parents to be chosen as adoptive parents.

I looked at her that day as she stood in my kitchen, hair all perfect, body unaffected by children, able to come and go as she pleases, and for a fleeting moment, I envied her and longed for the day to come when I could be back to that position in life. It quickly passed me, though, and I realized she, too, must envy me. I have children. I might have a hard time being pregnant, but she will likely never know what it feels like to be pregnant. She lives each day wondering if it will be the day she gets a phone call telling her they have been chosen to adopt a baby. She might have freedom right now, but she doesn’t want it. She longs to be in the position I am: sick, pregnant, and stuck and home each afternoon as the children take a nap. I knew my desires were selfish and that I needed to realign myself and be grateful for the many blessings I have.

I have also watched women whose children are grown and getting married fall into a state of depression as they “lost” their children. They went through the marriage of their children unhappy, mourning the loss of a child rather than celebrating the addition of one. What a tragedy and loss of a moment that will never happen again.

You will be much happier in life as you come to be able to enjoy each stage of your life for what it is. Some stages will be harder for you than others. There will be stages where you wish you could freeze everyone and live that moment forever. Find the good of where you are. Relish every moment. Time does not wait while you feel sorry for yourself; take advantage of each moment you have in life, and you can be truly happy.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Baby Whisperer: Sleep Transitions

image source
When Brayden was a baby, I read a book that talked about sleep transitions a baby goes through. I cannot remember what book it was in, but Tracy Hogg talks about it on page 186 in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.

A baby's sleep cycle is 45 minutes long. Babies start with deep sleep then move into REM, then wake up. Your baby might make noises at transition time, but if left alone will sleep through the transition.

When Brayden was a baby, we learned that 45 minutes after he fell asleep, we needed to be quiet. We knew if he made it past that 45 minute hump, he would take a good nap. With Kaitlyn, we didn't need to worry about it. She loved to sleep. Brayden, however, did not and was also so curious. Hearing new sounds (or familiar ones) would get him up and wanting in on the action.

This sleep cycle pattern is the reason I list so many of the things I do in nap problems or 45 minute intruder problems. As baby is shifting cycles, if he is too hot or cold, he will likely wake up. If a dog is barking, he will likely wake up. If he smells something of interest, he might wake up (I have a friend whose son was very sensitive to cooking smells). If he doesn't know how to soothe himself and depends on your or some other device, he will likely wake up. If he is hungry, he will wake up. If he is practicing a new skill, he will likely remember that when he wakes up and want to continue work on it. See these posts for more on reasons for waking:

Naps: Troubleshooting: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/naps-troubleshooting.html

45 Minute Intruder: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/45-minute-intruder.html

Nap Disruptions: Rolling, Standing, Crawling, etc: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nap-disruptions-rolling-standing.html

Chronic 45 Minute Naps

Poll Results: Did Baby Ever Experience 45 Minute Naps for a Consistent Length of Time?




Reader Comments:

  • Jaclyn said...
    Oh, wow. I'm glad to know my baby's not the only one! She's so sensitive at that 45 minute point. I have to be completely quiet, and make sure nothing else makes a sound in our house.(Sadly, can't control what goes on outside of our house.) She's always been this way! Thanks for your sharing your wisdom and experiences. For a first time mom, it's a HUGE blessing! Jaci
    September 26, 2008 9:34 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    You are welcome Jaclyn! Something you might consider since she is so sensitive is some sort of white noise. There are machines or you could do a humidifier..just something to drown out other stuff a little.
    September 29, 2008 11:28 AM
Reader Questions:
  • Laura said...
    I am so glad I found your blog! It is exactly what I needed. My baby boy is 5 weeks old and seems to be waking up throughout his naps. I don't know how much to let him cry and when I should be going in to help him...what if it's a gas problem or he's cold? He was a good napper but our life has been busier the last week or two so I'm wondering if that's messing him up. Anyway, thank you for your blog. It is no doubt a huge time sacrifice for you but I really appreciate it.
    September 27, 2008 11:26 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Laura, At 5 weeks, I don't know that I would let him cry in the middle of a nap yet (unless you find it works). See this post for ideas:Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html
    September 29, 2008 11:29 AM
  • Annie Haymans said...
    I just found your blog and I am so excited. Congrats on you new news, that is so exciting. I am a first time mom I have a 6 month old baby boy. I started babywise at about 2 weeks old and he has done perfect until about the past month. He started waking up to nurse in the middle of the night again....he would cry four more than an hour and I would finally go nurse him. So when that started, I decided to introduce solid foods thinking the reason he was waking was due to hunger. That helped for a while and now he has started waking up again. I have had a really hard time with him for the past month. Any advice...please help.
    September 29, 2008 4:35 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Annie, see this post:5-8 Month Sleep Disruptions : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/6-month-sleep-disruptions.html
    September 29, 2008 11:30 AM

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Season Changes Disrupting Sleep

It is that time of year when sleep starts to be disrupted by the changing of seasons. Where you live, it might be getting warmer or cooler. Where I live, it is pretty warm in the evening when our kids go to bed, but by morning it is quite cool in their bedrooms, which can wake them up early.

If your child or children are waking early right now, consider that environmental factor. If that is a possibility, try to problem solve. If you have an older child, consider adding a blanket or switching a blanket for a heavier one. We did that with Brayden, but he still kicks the covers off in the night.

Another thing we have done is changed pajamas for the night. A few weeks ago, a t-shirt and shorts did the trick. We are having to move to warmer pajamas, and I have found Brayden is waking earlier than usual each day unless he is wearing a certain pair of pajamas. So experiment and find what is best for your child right now.

Another thing to do is to tweak the thermostat at night. I personally don't want the heat on in the night because it still gets warm enough in the day that we would then need the central air on. However, it is getting cold enough at night that we do need the air. If you have a programmable thermostat, you might need to change your settings. What worked in the winter might not work in the early fall.

Also, be aware that at this time of year it is a very dynamic process. What worked a week ago might not be enough now.

This can be a frustrating time of year, but keep in mind that it should be relatively short and you can get back to normal. Being aware of it is half the battle.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Special Announcement

Well the time has come to make a special announcement. We are expecting our third child! I am due next April and am almost 11 weeks along.

I am excited and a little nervous. I don't look forward to the training of the early months, but I know from experience the work is worth it and leads you to easier older months.

I am not one who does well with pregnancy; it is very hard on me. I am very sick and of course tired. Response time to comments is getting longer because I just can't spend as much time each day responding. But I press forward and hope to be able to keep on top of things the best I can!

Brayden is extremely excited and tells everyone he encounters that there is a baby in Mommy's tummy. I told him early on and for some reason expected the same excitement level I got from him while I was pregnant with Kaitlyn, which was nothing. My husband questioned my telling him and thought he would tell everyone, I assured him Brayden would not be interested enough.
Well, I was wrong. Then I realized when I was pregnant with Kaitlyn, he was Kaitlyn's age. He had no idea what was happening. Now he knows, and he is excited. He wants a baby sister and he wants to name her Kaitlyn.

Reader Comments: Thanks for the many wonderful congratulations!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Baby Whisperer: Sleeping Through the Night

image source
Starting on page184, Hogg addresses points to help baby sleep through the night. They are:

  • Don't let baby sleep too much in the day. This means you don't let baby sleep something like 6 hours straight in the day. You can let baby take an extra 30 minutes in a nap if needed, but you don't let baby sleep all day.
  • Cluster feeding. Hogg suggests starting at 6 weeks you feed every two hours before bedtime and also do a dreamfeed. The cluster feeding thing is necessary for some babies, but not all. I would think if baby got a full feeding, he shouldn't need another one 2 hours later. But I know as a nurser, my milk supply is lower at that time of day, so both of mine needed one two hour interval for a while. Hogg defines a dreamfeed as a feed you try to not wake baby for (the late-evening feeding for the BW baby). Kaitlyn would rarely wake up for a dreamfeed, but I was not cautions to not wake her. If she woke, she woke.
  • Pacifier. Hogg says so long as you don't turn it into a prop, you can use the pacifier to wean baby off the nighttime feed. You basically use the pacifier in place of breast or bottle when they wake, cutting down sucking time each night. See Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for more.
  • Don't rush in. Babies sleep fitfully. Do not respond to every noise you hear. It took me a long time to learn this with Brayden, and I was really good about it with Kaitlyn. Give baby a chance to work things out on her own.



Related Posts:
Reader Comments/Advice:
  • The Grovers said...
    Hogg's pacifier suggestion really worked for us. At the time 5-8 weeks, our daughter was sleeping in the bassinet right next to our bed at night. When she would wake up in the night, I would reach over and give the pacifier. If she soothed herself back to sleep, then I knew she was not waking out of hunger. If she couldn't, I would get up and feed her. With this method, she very quickly extended her nighttime sleep and was sleeping through the night by 7.5 weeks and we moved her into her room a few weeks later.
    September 23, 2008 6:31 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks Grovers--that is good to hear a success story of the method.
    September 24, 2008 1:53 PM
  • Megan :) said...
    Hi! We had a very similar success story as the Grovers with the pacifier. :) Now we're working on weaning her off the getting up in the middle of the night for the paci! Not so much fun... anyone have any tips? CIO did NOT work. BUT this method allowed us to go from 11p.m. - 6 a.m. from Week 5! She was never really hungry in the middle of the night and because we used the pacifier, the breast was never a sleep aid... i.e. my sweet hubby can help with the middle of the night wake-ups. Now my three month old sleeps consistently from 8 p.m - 6 a.m. with one 5 second wake up at 4 a.m. for pacifier insertion. Not ideal, but works for us! Thanks for posting this - such an important topic for new moms!
    September 24, 2008 3:40 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Megan, the only thing I could think of for you would be to give her some time when she wakes to see if she would go back to sleep on her own. I understand the trickiness of the situation. If you don't catch her quickly, she will be fully awake. However, at this point it might be time to do CIO and drop the paci in the night.
    September 29, 2008 1:04 PM
  • Reader Questions:
  • Volkov Family said...
    Advice Please...First off, what is considered sleeping through the night? How many hours and from what hour to what hour? Here is my situation-My son is almost 4 months and we do the eat, wake, sleep, but he rarely sleeps more than 45m-1.5 hrs. which makes it hard to do a straight 3 hr schedule. He wakes in the 5 a.m. hour and I feed him and put him back to sleep. Then he wakes or I wake him at 7:30. He then feeds 10:30, 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 and before bed at about 7:30/8 p.m.(It keeps getting earlier.) I would like to cut out one of his feedings, but I don't know how. I would like him to go past 5 a.m., but he seems pretty insistent on it. If I got him on a true 3 hr. plan, then we would have our last feeding at 7:30 p.m. naturally. But at this point his p.m. feedings are pretty much set in stone. What would you suggest? I would intro a dream feed if I knew it would take him til 6:30/7 a.m.(though so far the times I have tried it, it has made no difference), but I don't want to start another bad habit since he is already waking at 5 a.m. and I want to break him of that. But asking him to go 6:30-6:30 is a bit much and I doubt he would sleep 11 of those 12 hours. Suggestions?
    September 23, 2008 9:11 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Volkov Family,The definition of true STTN for you will vary. What BW considers to be STTN initially is sleeping 7-8 hours straight. As they get older (about 4ish months), the requirement goes up to about 10 hours straight, eventually baby will sleep anywhere from 10-12 hours straight. I personally in my head don't consider my kids to sleep through the night until they are sleeping about 9-10 hours--if they wake up at all before I want to get up for good, that is night to me.It sounds like he is technically sleeping through the night, and sleeping the right number or hours for the age. I would just hang in there, and in the meantime, see this post:Early Morning Feedings Before Waketime: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/early-morning-feedings-before-waketime.html
    September 29, 2008 1:02 PM
  • Mark and Janna said...
    My daughter (now 8 weeks) slept through the night a few times starting around 6 weeks. I finally figured out that she was going through a growth spurt during that time, and the extra feeding during the day allowed her to sleep all night, so I decided to add a feeding to her day, which means we are on a 2.5 hour schedule instead of 3. But it worked! She sleeps straight to 7:30 in the morning after her dream feed at 10:30. But now my question is when do I put her back on the 3 hour schedule? She has always eaten every 3 hours since birth, but only now has been sleeping through the night with the 2.5 hour schedule. Should I change it slowly? I don't want to push it because I love that she is sleeping all night, yet I think for her age she should be able to go 3 hours.
    September 25, 2008 11:38 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Janna, you might have to keep it for a while. Babies her age usually can only do 7-8 hours straight, and she is doing about 9. For that reason, she might need a 2.5 hour schedule where other babies her age would be fine on 3. I would leave her there until she reached the age for 9 hours of sleep at night (see this post: Babywise Milestones: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/babywise-milestones.html ) or you are sure she needs to go 3 hours rather than 2.
    September 29, 2008 1:07 PM
  • ange77 said...
    Please help!! My baby is now 7 months old and I have been following a Babywise routine since she was a few days old. She was sleeping through the night at 5 weeks (with her last feed sometime around 11pm) but has just started waking in the night again now. I breastfeed her 4 times a day.. at 6am when she wakes naturally, 10am, 2pm and 6pm, with solids offered after each feed. She goes to bed between 7pm to 8pm and up until about a week ago, was sleeping through the night no problem until 6am. She is now waking almost every night, usually only once, but last night, she woke twice. It does not seem to be the same time each night that she wakes. When she wakes, I feed her one side, and she happily goes straight back to sleep again, no problem. I have tried just picking her up to soothe her in the night as I am afraid that if I get in the habit of giving a breastfeed at night, then it will become a habit, but this doesn't work! She just cries louder when I try putting her back down again. I am anxious to get my baby back in to her routine, as we are going on holiday in 2 weeks, and I am leaving her with my mum for 12 days!! Will feel much happier going if she is sleeping through the night again... please help!!! She is teething at the moment, but I don't know if this is causing her to wake, because she goes back to sleep happily after a feed, without requiring any pain medication. Do I need to change my daytime routine.. perhaps go back to 5 feeds? Lately, she tends to wake about half an hour to an hour prior to her next scheduled feed during the day. She is quite happy to wait for her feed, but this means that we are not following the sleep, feed, wake cycle during the day anymore. I have tried extending her waketime but she gets too tired. I have read the Babywise book a couple of times, but can't find an answer to my problem!! Would be grateful for any advice please!!
    October 3, 2008 1:39 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    It definitely could be the teething. I might go back to 5 feeds just to be sure. Also, see this post:5-8 Month Sleep Disruptions : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/6-month-sleep-disruptions.html
    October 6, 2008 3:10 PM
  • Kate and Robbie said...
    I am really at a loss. We have been putting our almost 6 month old down every night with the same routine...and we dropped a feeding cause we think that he is large enough to last through the night (18lbs). It has been almost 2 months now and he still wakes up 2 a night screaming. Once at 1 am and once about 4 am. We just let him CIO, cause that is what we were told to do, but he still hasn't learned. What are we doing wrong??
    October 10, 2008 10:21 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Kate, my guess would be that he is waking for reasons that can't be fixed with CIO. See these posts:Nighttime Sleep Issues: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nightime-sleep-issues.html 5-8 Month Sleep Disruptions : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/6-month-sleep-disruptions.html
    October 21, 2008 1:15 PM
  • Amber said...
    Hi! I've been reading the blog for a while and love it. Thanks! I have a question for you. Daytimes are going ok for us; we have a good 3-hour schedule in place for our 10-week-old (though it gets messed up occasionally for church or when we have a sitter). Nights, however, are difficult. He's still waking every 3 hours, sometimes every 2 hours, or even less. It's not consistent, but it is frustrating. The closer to morning it is, the closer the waking intervals. Is it reasonable at this age to expect him to drop a feeding? Also, if we try to use a pacifier when he wakes at night, at what point do we give up and assume it's hunger? It seems like once he wakes up, he gets really worked up no matter what we do and won't go back to sleep. Thanks so much!!
    October 10, 2008 3:36 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Amber, I would say most 10 week olds who aren't STTN have only one feeding. After a couple of nights of pacifier not working (maybe 3), I would assume it is hunger. But if it is hunger, he will most likely wake up soon after falling back asleep.
    October 21, 2008 1:17 PM
    Amber said...
    Hi, it's me again. Our little guy is almost 4 months old now, and still waking several times at night. Waketime is 7am, and his last feeding before bed is 7pm....bedtime 7:30-ish. Sometimes he'll sleep for 4 hours after bedtime, sometimes less; but then for the rest of the night he wakes up every 3 hours or even less. When I tried using the pacifier, he would either not calm back down or wake up in 20 minutes, and then eat as if he's really hungry. I'm pretty sure he could drop that last night feeding because he's not too hungry at 7am, but I don't know how. Trying to feed for less time at night resulted in him waking up again after an hour or so. Any other ideas? Anything that we could be doing differently? Or is he just not ready to sleep through the night? i really don't want bad habits to develop. Thanks!!
    November 24, 2008 11:17 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Amber, it sounds like he isn't ready. Since he is waking shortly after a small meal, it sounds like he needs it. 4 months is also a huge growth time, so keep that in mind.
    December 1, 2008 11:17 AM
    Amber said...
    Hi! I've been reading comments and your responses, and have found lots of helpful information. Shortly after my last post, our 4-month-old started sleeping all the way from the 11pm dreamfeed to 7 a.m. We had a glorious few weeks of that, but then the holidays, an ear infection, a cold, and learning to roll over made him start waking up frequently. It's been a couple of weeks now, and whenever he rolls over he gets stuck and wakes up. We are working so hard during the day to get him to roll back (from tummy to back). He usually wakes every 20-45 minutes starting at 4 a.m. (we roll him back over each time)...by 6am he's fully awake and probably too hungry to go back to sleep! Do we just have to wait this out? Any suggestions from anyone? Thanks! Have a great day!
    January 10, 2009 11:15 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Amber, see this post: Nap Disruptions: Rolling, Standing, Crawling, etc: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nap-disruptions-rolling-standing.html
    And also:
    4 month Sleep Problems : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/4-month-sleep-problems.html
    January 16, 2009 11:22 AM
  • Amy said...
    Hello,I have a question on what we should do with our 9 week old son. I was so hoping he'd be sleeping through the night (7-8 hours) by now, but he's still not. He usually wakes up around 4ish for a feeding. I've tried giving him the paci sometimes but it usually doesn't work. I noticed that sometimes he's only getting 7 feedings a day, instead of 8, like you say they should have until they are STTN. By the way, he's being formula fed (breastfeeding didn't work out like I hoped it would!). How important do you think it is for him to get 8 feedings a day? Do you think that might be why he's still waking up for one feeding in the middle of the night? I just hate waking him up from naps during the day. Ha! Also, do you think it's ok to go in and give him his paci at that 45 min mark of a nap? Our son seems to wake up A LOT when that 45 min mark hits and sometimes he can go back to sleep but sometimes not. Like when he wakes up, there's no turning back for him. That's why I try to give him teh paci so he'll keep sleeping. Is that ok? Thanks for your advice. And I think you're doing a great job with the blog, by the way!
    October 28, 2008 7:17 AM
    Amy said...
    It's me again. I read the blog entry on early morning feeding and suggestions. I'm going to pay attention to his first feeding of the day for the next couple of days, and see if he really needs it. If not, then I'm going to try your suggestion on feeding him less. Great idea!!! I'd still love your advice about the naps...
    October 28, 2008 2:54 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Amy, the more calories he gets in the day, the less he will need at night. I would try for 8 a day until he STTN. You can try the paci at 45 minutes. I would be careful and be watchful. You don't want it to become something he needs long-term, but it could be something short-term that would help him.
    October 29, 2008 9:23 PM
  • Lucie said...
    Hi! Again, thank you so much for your time and effort! You are playing a VITAL role helping me work out the kinks of teaching good sleep habits to my Little Man. My Little Man is 10 weeks old. He is wonderful Little Guy with a great disposition. He is exclusively being bottle fed. He is taking 5-6 ounces every three hours during the day. His bedtime is 7/7:30. He goes down very well for bedtimes and naps and we have been CIO since I spoke with you ast (about 5 weeks). He does great and is rarely having episodes when he cries extensively. (He does have episodes at the one hour mark after he is put down at night or nap time where he will cry for a short period but then settles himself back down.) My questions lie in getting him to sleep through the night. Collin goes down at 7/7:30. We then get him out of bed for a "dreamfeed" at 10/10:30. He does not wake up for this and only will take 2 or 3ounces when he normally takes 5 or 6 when he is awake. I have tried to wake him up and he will not wake up for this feed. He was consistently waking at 2:30 for a couple weeks and is now waking at 3 or 3:30. He then wakes at 5:30 or 6. I want his "waketime" to be 6:30 am. I am lost as to what to do to get him to STTN.1) Should I continue to get him up for a dreamfeed even though he only takes 2 or 3 ounces or should I just let him sleep from 7/7:30 and see how long he goes? My fear there is that if he goes 8 hours from 7:30 that would still have me getting up at 3:30 which (obviously) is not ideal! 8 hours from 10 or 10:30 is much better for Mommy! LOL 2) Should I continue to feed him at the 2:30/3:00 feed as well as the 5:30/6 feed? If not which should I drop and how should I drop it? Should I drop it cold turkey or make him strech it more since this is what he seems to be doing naturally?I am just not sure where to go form here! I look forward to hearing from you!
    November 3, 2008 5:30 PM
    Lucie said...
    Hi Val, I posted a question a few days ago on this thread. I also have a couple of updates to my question that may lead to different suggestions from you.Since the last post I have been able to get Collin (my very tired, not awake DFeeder) to take a full 6 ounce feed most night at 9:30 or 10 o'clock. It takes me a long while (like a solid hour) to get him to take it but he has most nights. He then has been sleeping till 4 or 5 am. This causes an issue with not taking a full feeding at his 6:30 wake time.The nights when he hasn't taken a full feed (only 2 or 3 ounces) he wakes at 1:30-2:30. This stinks because it is a VERY middle of the night feed.My new questions are:1) Do I continue to wake him for the DF and just cross my fingers that he takes more than 2-3 ounces (even though it is taking him an hour to get a full feed down when he takes it) since it results in a longer night sleep? Then I will just have to work on the Early Waking.2) Do I try skipping the DF and see what happens? Since he wakes at 2 or so when he only takes 2-3 ounces at the DF I am guessing skipping the DF will result in a middle of the night feed at 2:30 or so. This would save me from getting him out of bed for just a possible 2-3 ounces feeding. I could be wrong and he may surprise me and sleep longer-- should I try it? 3) Each of the above situations results in its own issues which then need to be fixed so I would love to know what option to go with... Thanks again Val!!!
    November 10, 2008 1:16 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Lucie, I am sorry I am so late. I didn't see your question until now. I would probably try skipping the DF and see what happens, but know that at his age at best you can expect 11 hours of sleep (since he is bottlefed), but 9-10 would also be acceptable for him. If he went to 9, that will put him waking at 4. This isn't a problem as far as he goes, but might be for you.My guess is the same as yours that since when he eats well at the DF he sleeps longer that he actually needs that food to get him through. Some do sleep longer though, and I have a friend who says it doesn't hurt to try it. Really any of your "fixes" are acceptable. You are just going to have to decide which one you prefer. He isn't old enough to make it 12 hours yet. It is possible for 11, but it doesn't sound like he is quite ready. Pick which solution is best for you.
    December 1, 2008 10:42 AM

Monday, September 22, 2008

Baby Stuff I Love: Sickness


When your baby/child is sick, you want nothing more than to be able to help him feel as well as possible. Here are some things I love for sickness:

  • Temporal Scanner: I love temporal scanners, which take your child's temperature over something like the forehead rather than under the armpit, up the bottom, or in the mouth. I use Exergen brand and have loved it. Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer MODEL# 2000C
  • Baby Vics: For babies 3 months and up, Vicks has a baby version you can use. VICKS BabyRub Soothing Comfort for Babies Ointment # 617 - 1.76 Oz
  • Humidifier: A help everyone knows, but a help.
  • Inclining the mattress: If your child can't breathe, inclining the mattress can help. I never thought of this until Kaitlyn was born with reflux, then it occurred to me this would work well for colds (though I was obviously not the first one to think of it). Safe Lift Deluxe Universal Crib Wedge
  • Baths: I know they make me feel better when I don't feel well.
Please be sure to add your own tips!
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Friday, September 19, 2008

Comments Are Down Again

I don't know why this happens with this blog every so often. Perhaps it is the large amount of daily comments...I don't know. Things were quiet for a couple of days. I would get notified of about one comment per day, if any. So I looked through posts and saw they are still being made and I am just not getting notified of them. I will let you know when notifications are back up and running.

Baby Whisperer: More on Sleep

Here are more sleeping tips from Tracy Hogg in the book, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer:

SLEEP TYPES (page 174)


  • Angel baby: falls asleep easily and independently (very true of Kaitlyn)
  • Textbook baby: falls asleep easily and independently
  • Touch baby: you cannot miss this baby's window or it is too hard for him to wind down (very true of Brayden)
  • Spirited baby: fidgets a lot. You may need to block out visual stimulation. Sometimes gets a wild, wide-eyed look when she is tired
  • Grumpy baby: might fuss some, but usually happy for a nap

THREE STAGES OF SLEEP (page 175)
Babies pass through these stages every time they fall asleep. The entire process takes about 20 minutes.

  • Stage 1--The Window: this is when your baby shows his nap cues. See Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html. Hogg recommends having baby down by the third yawn (though best to act on the first).
  • Stage 2--The Zone: your baby has a fixed, focused gaze. This lasts 3-4 minutes. His eyes are open but he isn't really seeing.
  • Stage 3--Letting Go: He closes his eyes, his head drops forward or to the side. He seems to be falling asleep then is back awake...he repeats this process 3-5 times then goes to sleep.

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Poll Results: How many hours did baby sleep in a 24 hour period for ages 7-10 weeks? (approximate)

Results:


21-22 hours: 2 votes (3%)
19-20 hours: 16 votes (26%)
17-18 hours: 29 votes (47%)
15-16 hours: 8 votes (13%)
13-14 hours: 6 votes (9%)

Total of 61 votes

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Parenting Skills: Look to Yourself First

"If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves." (Carl Jung, quoted in Secrets of the Baby Whisperer, page 251).

Ezzo and Buckman call it gaps in parenting. Hogg refers to it as accidental parenting. It is the notion that often when the child is misbehaving, the root of the problem can be found with something the parent is doing wrong.

I personally have found this to be very true. I haven't kept track, but I would be willing to say 100% of the behavior problems I have encountered with my children have been my own fault. Perhaps it is that I let Brayden watch more TV than I know he can handle without misbehaving. Maybe a nap didn't go well because I let one or the other stay up a little longer than I should have. I have often found I have allowed Brayden too many choices or freedoms, resulting in Brayden thinking he is deserving of more than he actually is and can tell me no.

I love this quote from Carl Jung. If (when) your child has a behavior problem, you will solve it most quickly if you first look within yourself and figure out what you are doing wrong. Yes, this takes humility, but you must get over yourself. I am pretty sure parenting is a quick cure for anyone who thinks they are always right and can do no wrong. If you haven't gotten there yet, get there. The faster you identify what you are doing wrong, the faster you can correct the behavior problems you are encountering.

This quote can also be applied in another way. As your baby turns into a walking and talking toddler, you will start to learn the quirky phrases and gestures you make in an exaggerated way. Brayden has picked up on something my husband or I do that neither of us realized happened. They watch every move you make and look to you as an example. My husband and I recently realized we say the word 'stupid' a lot. It might not sound so bad coming from an adult, but once your three year old starts saying it, it doesn't sound so cute. In fact, it sounds quite offensive. How did we fix it? We told Brayden we shouldn't be saying that word, it isn't a nice word. Mommy and Daddy wouldn't say it anymore and Brayden shouldn't either. No problem. We are both happy we are not cursing people.

When you make a mistake, there is no harm in explaining to your child that you have made a mistake and resolve to do better. I don't think children need to think their parents are infallible. Young children (since that is my experience) are very accepting and forgiving. They don't hold it against you or rub it in your face. Also, it shows them an excellent example of how to apologize and make things right.

You are the only person you can control. Yes, you can and should guide and teach your children, but when it comes down to it, you cannot force them to do things. So the fact that most behavior problems are rooted to actual parenting problems, this should make you feel much better about the situation. You can change yourself. You can change your behavior and actions.

For more on discipline, see (see also blog index under Discipline for posts published after this one at http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/index.html):

For more posts on parenting skills, see (again, see also blog index under Parenting Skills):

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Chronic 45 Minute Naps

image source
Despite the best efforts of moms, some babies consistently take the 45 minute nap for an extended period of time. I often get questions from moms asking what to do about this. My advice is to keep trying to fix it but try to relax and accept the way things are. Brayden took a 45 minute nap until he was 6 months old, when he suddenly started taking 2 hour naps. I have many theories as to why, and those are the items I list in my troubleshooting naps post and 45 minute intruder post (see Naps: Troubleshooting--Revised and Updated and 45 Minute Intruder). Another important post to be familiar with is Optimal Waketime Lengths.

I have a friend, Raegan, whose baby took a 45 minute nap until she was about 13 months old. This is a woman who I would without hesitation say understands the foundational principles of Babywise/Growing Kids. I met Raegan in an online Babywise group, and she always gives excellent advice to other moms. She knows what she is doing. She did everything she could, so I thought she would be a good person to write a guest article for this blog. This article outlines her experience and her advice for those facing a similar situation. My thanks to her for writing this post.

From Raegan:

I think every Babywise mom at one point or another deals with the 45 minute intruder. It’s a phase…it’ll pass…it’s temporary, right? For most, yes! You keep tweaking you schedule, trying new things, and then they “get it.”

The 45-minute intruder started early for us-- at one month. She’d sleep for 30-45 minutes, cry for 10, fall asleep 10, and repeat until it was time to eat. At 2 months she stopped going back to sleep after she woke. We tried adjusting my diet, working with less wake time (even as little as 20 minutes), more wake time, timing to the minute, sleepy cues, temperature adjustments, the swing, the bouncy seat, solids (at 4 months), burping, patting, shushing, propping the mattress, gas drops, baths to calm and soothe, Tylenol (she started teething at 2 months, first tooth at 3 months), cry it out, cry it out, and cry it out. I was careful about over-stimulation. I had a great nap routine down. I asked everyone Babywise I knew for help. I got a contact mom. I was assured from most everyone that the 45-minute intruder was normal and I’d see a huge change by 5-6 months old. In the meantime, I kept wake time to the minimum average that everyone else seemed to have for their child of the same age. Since nothing else worked, I just stuck to cry it out as my method, put on some praise music and let her cry for 45 minutes each nap cycle. It was miserable.

Things would get better for a few days, then back to the 45-minute intruder for weeks. At 5 months, someone recommended that I try extending wake time again by trying 10 minutes of a very quiet activity before naps, like a walk or rocking. Again, it helped for a few days. At 6.5 months (what everyone assured me was the “golden time” when she’s definitely “get it”) I tried everything that I had tried before, plus moving to a 3.5 hour routine, just keeping her in bed for 1.5 hours, etc. That’s what I ended up doing 9 times out of 10, for lack of knowing what else to do, and needing time to get things accomplished around the house. The 6 month “phase” had been described in Babywise II and it stated that there may be “crying involved.” No kidding. :) I kept thinking there was something that I’d missed.

There were bumps in the road along the way, for sure. There were normal disruptions like rolling, crawling, and pulling up. At 7 months my contact mom recommended going in at 15, then 20, then 25 minutes (etc) until the 2-hour mark was reached after she’d woken from a nap. I was to go in, use my stern mommy voice, and tell her nap time wasn’t over. I would lay her back down without picking her up and holding her, and walk out of the room, hoping she gets the hint. :) It worked for 4 days.

Along the way there were so many questions: how can I move to a 3.5 or 4 hour schedule when she’ll never sleep that long? And then naps conflict with eating times! Will not doing an eat/wake/sleep mess with her nighttime sleep? And my biggest question…Will she ever get it?
By 9 months she still cried going down for naps and waking up from naps. By 9.5 months we’d finally hit a beautiful milestone that most babies hit much earlier. She was waking up happy, even after 45 minutes. So I took it from there. Enough was enough for me. I’d given it 9 months of trying, and finally she was waking happy. I’d given my best effort and I know that from the bottom of my heart. I had tried everything I knew, asked everyone I knew, and prayed for wisdom. I’d cried all I was going to cry about this.

You see, I had to realize that in my life I have to “do all I can do”, seek wisdom from others and the Lord, pray about it (and I’ll admit that sometimes my praying felt like begging), and take action where I can. But we are raising individuals and sometimes we just won’t understand why things work the way they do. I am a “x + y = z” kind of person. You do ______ and ________ happens. But motherhood is more spontaneous and needs more flexibility than that. Each child is different and wonderful. When I learned that she wasn’t changing (yet J) than I realized that I had to change. I was feeling defeated, like she was a failure and I was a failure. When napping became an issue that didn’t resolve, I thought “How can I tell others about the success of Babywise if I can’t even get my own kid to nap???” I had up and down days. Mostly I just wanted to see the “fruit of my labor” and for her to take a good nap. I felt discouraged when I knew other moms that didn’t do BW still had kids that napped 2-3 hours AND slept at night. Granted, my little girl slept through the night months earlier than others, but I had worked so hard!! (That’s me whining.)

So I decide that if 45 minutes was all she needed, that was fine. I’d given her all the tools and now it was time to move on to bigger issues. We moved to a 3.5-hour schedule, then a combo, then 4 hour as she needed. I stopped stressing about naps and moved on to character and training in other areas. We did extra independent playtime, extra blanket time, a regular bedtime, and continued to keep a good routine. When she took a longer nap, I was grateful. But I’m confident that the Lord knows what she needs better than I do, so I lean on Him.

Here’s what I learned as the mother of a chronic 45 minute napper:



  • Don’t give up. Try everything! At the end of it, you won’t have the “maybe I should have…” thoughts. I will say that I know my child better than 90% of the moms I know (and that 10% is only other Babywise moms) because of the problem solving and the listening to the cries and thinking before I responded.
  • Ask for wisdom. Go to someone who has been there. I’ve learned so many random things not related to my original question by asking. Don’t be afraid to ask…it’s how YOU “get there.”
  • A baby that naps only 45 minutes may need to keep the 3rd and 4th nap longer than other BW babies. Go with what they need.
  • Sleep/wake/eat cycles are important, but not the “end all.” Do what you can to get there but don’t worry about night sleep when you don’t. Nap issues never messed with her night sleep.
  • Routine makes the difference. My 45 minute napper was still the most well-behaved, most complimented baby of all my friends.
  • Naps and sleep are just the start to building a strong foundation.
  • Use an IPOD when necessary to drown out crying and save your sanity. As long as you know they are safe, it won’t hurt you and can give you some peace.
  • Things are 10x worse when you are tired or have listened to your baby cry what seems like all day. Take a break, get a babysitter, or TURN OFF THE MONITOR.
  • Don’t be afraid to CIO. When she wakes up now, I either wait until she “gets a happy heart” or goes back to sleep. Sometimes if she’s happy playing, I’ll leave her a little longer. She’s learning to be content without me to entertain her.
  • She still cries sometimes when going down for a nap. I’ve come to the conclusion that after 15 months of a strict routine, that it’s not me. HUGE REVELATION! It’s what she needs to help her wind down. She’ll stop doing that eventually, but it’s not a mark of my failure.
  • When she went down to 2 naps and still only napped 45 minutes, I chose naptimes that worked for me, but were the same time every day.
  • Be consistent in other areas. Given them and you the extra downtime. If they won’t nap longer, get your sanity back with more independent play, blanket time, etc. It’s harder at first but it pays off in the end.
Want to know more? See Raegan's update: Chronic 45 Minute Naps: One Year Later

Related Posts:
Reader Advice
  • Lisima said...
    I just wanted to let all the moms who suffer from this know what I am doing today with my chrinic 45 min napper. Instead of shortening his waketime (he was already being put down at 40 mins) what I did was I took his wake time activities down to the bare minimum of just talking, singing, flirting, the very basics (he is only 2 mos) and then I put him down at the same time or when I was getting good sleep cues, which are different with every child. Well ladies, with the exception of a 3 minute cry at about an hour into his nap he slept the whole time! 2 full hours. Of course that was just the morning nap so far but I think I will carry this on for today and then gradually see what type of activities he can and can't handle as the days go by. Just because I know most of you are desperately looking for answers I thought I'd let you know even thought I am just starting this new experiment today. I am also keeping a chart on excel of his activities waketime and sleep patterns so that I can remember what works and what doesn't. This morning he had 54 mins wake time and for the 10:00 cycle he only had a 40 min wake time. I put him down because of his cues even though I thought it was goind to be too early. I hope this will help some of you and just know that you are not alone.
    September 18, 2008 8:49 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Lisima, good tips and I am glad you are finding success!
    September 22, 2008 3:27 PM
Reader Comments/Thank Yous:
  • Christie said...
    This post is amazing! I definitely feel that God has used you both in this post to speak directly to me and other moms that are dealing with nap issues!!! Sometimes I get so overwhelmed in the "perfection" that scheduling sometimes draws me to seek, that I forget that the Lord know what she needs more than I, as Raegan put it. Thank you both!!
    September 16, 2008 10:58 AM
  • The Traveling Turtle said...
    Thank you so much! This post was just what I needed to read. At 6 1/2 months...we have been dealing with a 45-60 minute napper for almost a month now and I was starting to feel like it was something I had done. Our LO wakes up happy and then plays in her crib alone for quite some time, content as can be. So now I just need to stop beating myself up over it. Thank you again! What a fantastic post!
    September 16, 2008 11:23 AM
  • Lorri said...
    I needed this today. My husband made me pack up all my books last night and took them to his office today. I've searched everything trying to see if there was SOMETHING I had missed.Someone even told me that it was because he was still on a 3 hour routine and I just needed to switch him to a 4 hour-the day I tried to keep him up for more than an hour and 15 minutes was the day I thought I was going to die-he was unhappy, I was unhappy and dad was mad. I still have trouble because he stays up for an hour, sleeps 45 is up happy-but only for an hour and then sleeps another 45 until nursing time again. The up down has not been fun but this post gives me confidence that I have done all I can and things do get better-even if its later rather than sooner.
    September 16, 2008 11:23 AM
  • The Traveling Turtle said...
    Thank you again. I just read this blog over and over and am so happy it was out here. I am so happy to have found this site. with all the crazy, negative stuff out there about BW, it is nice to know there is a place we can ask questions and give encouragement to others! thanks again!
    September 16, 2008 12:04 PM
  • melissa said...
    What a great post. After 2 BW babies, I found nothing more frustrating than 45 minutes naps. I thought I did something worng too. But, I read in the Baby Whisperer in tandem with BW and Hogg talks about how some babies only need 45 minutes. What a revelation! My friend is due with her first baby girl in 2 weeks. I am jealous of how lucky she is to have resources like this blog to help her. I had nothing! :)
    September 17, 2008 6:32 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Melissa, I am jealous too! lol
    September 22, 2008 3:20 PM
  • Susanna said...
    Thank you for letting me know my child is normal. I've struggled with 45 minute naps since birth and we hit the 5-6 month mark 3 months ago and not much has changed! I decided to come to terms with my son not needing more than 45 minutes for a nap and I am truly blessed that he has been sleeping through the night forever. I am also keeping the third nap at 8 months since he doesn't take long naps during the day. How did you do the 4 hour schedule? My son is only eating 4 times a day; I'm just stretching him as best I can to go 3.5/4 hours in b/w meals. He just isn't interested in eating sooner....THANK YOU! This was such a pertinent blog to my situation!
    September 17, 2008 8:07 AM
  • Lisima said...
    Thanks for this post. Although my boy is only 2.5 mos. old I feel like it has been forever since he has napped for the full nap time. I will say that it feels somewhat discouraging to know that this "phase" could last for months to come. I have tried everything that I could think of from burping to darkening the room to CIO, etc. but nothing seems to work. As far as CIO goes I think it is a fine line b/w being mean and disciplining him. I just feel so bad sometimes. I guess it will be better once he starts to wake happy and not cry so much. Its funny because just today I was praying and really asked God to take this issue into his hands and to guide me with wisdom in knowing what to do each time he wakes. Please continue to give us tips when you come across them to help us out. Thanks for this blog and all your help! PS. Where is Gary Ezzo when you need him, huh? Looks like BW needs a revised edition with a chapter on "the 45 min chronic napper." : ) God Bless!
    September 17, 2008 12:12 PM
Reader Questions:
  • Jaclyn said...
    Wow, what a blessing, and an answer to prayer! I was just sitting at my computer trying to distract myself from my crying, no screaming baby, when I came to your post! My 11 month old baby girl has never been a consistent napper. We've had consistent naptimes, but she's never been one to sleep a long time, until recently. However, there's always problems, it seems. Always crying when I put her down. Sleeping for only one of her two naps during the day, screaming for the whole naptime, etc. I felt as though I wanted to scream and pull my hair out. I really appreciate knowing that someone else deals with nap issues, and that it's okay to not be "perfect" according to the book. I do have a question though. My daughter seems to do the screaming and refusal to sleep thing primarily when I put her to bed, and not so much when my husband does it. Attachment anxiety? Babywise doesn't talk about that,that I can recall. Any advice? Thanks again for your post, and keep up the blessed work!Jaci
    September 16, 2008 11:56 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Jaclyn, I would watch your husband put her to bed and see what the difference is. I would then try to replicate the way he does it. If the only perceivable difference is the person, then it might be separation anxiety. If it is separation anxiety, it should pass.
    September 22, 2008 3:18 PM
  • Kate and Robbie said...
    Ditto to all comments! This is just the post I needed too! Ive been racking my brain trying to figure out why my 5 month old "just wont get it". So, one question though, when a baby only naps 45 minutes, only has about an hour of awake time before getting pretty cranky (and i don't want to get him over tired or overstimulated), what do I do to keep him on a decent 3 hour routine? What do I do for filler time? Or do I go to a 2.5 hour schedule...but isn't that for like newborns?? Help me understand!
    September 16, 2008 12:06 PM
  • Plowmanators said...
    Kate, check out these posts:Waketime When Baby Wakes Early : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/waketime-when-baby-wakes-early.html Waketime When They Wake Early: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/waketime-when-they-wake-early.html
    September 22, 2008 3:20 PM
  • bethers21 said...
    Thanks, Raegan!! Your wisdom is truly helpful as always. I can't imagine the emotions of going through that for so long. What did you do when Charis woke up? Did you leave her in bed for a certain length of time? This is definitely a post that I'll read over and over again.
    September 16, 2008 1:41 PM
    Raegan said...
    I tried a few different things first, but here's what I ended up doing. Try different things, but see what works best for your baby.To keep on a decent 3 hour schedule, I did wake time (45 minutes, then one hour as she got older, etc etc) then nap (45 min). That was only an hour and half, so I'd let her cry for a while, try to go in and soothe, then leave, etc. Eventually, when I figured out that going in tended to make things worse, I just left her until the 3 hour mark. That way I got my needed break, and I thought hopefully she'd eventually "get it." The swing made it worse for her, so her best option was bed. :) Yes, there were many many many days where she cried for the next 45 minutes until I got her up. :) It passes, and you have to see how much you can take. It does get a LOT better once they reach 6 months. I couldn't adjust the waketime too much even though she'd already been up 45 minutes, since it interfered with eating. Do the best you can.Most days I left her for 30-45 minutes, once I had exhausted my list of things I could try. :)Raegan
    September 16, 2008 5:35 PM
    Raegan said...
    Oh, and if she was "happy" I'd leave her longer. :) Just to make it to 3 hours. :)
    September 16, 2008 5:37 PM
  • bethers21 said...
    Raegan, when did you put Charis back down or determine waketime? Say you left her in her crib for 1 hour and her waketime is 1 hour.
    September 17, 2008 12:30 PM
    Raegan said...
    I started her official "waketime" when I got her out of her crib. Sometimes I would adjust it by 15 minutes, but I tried counting time in the crib and not counting it, and it didn't seem to make a difference at all. If I left her in the crib one hour, then I'd get her up, feed her (taking about 30 minutes) then I'd keep her up either another 15-30. I did find that as she got older and was waking happy, I could go in and get her and follow more of an eating schedule and just pick the nap times. So no matter how long she napped, naps were at ___ and ___ time. But that was when she was 9 months, I believe.
    September 17, 2008 2:02 PM
  • bethers21 said...
    Raegan, sorry for another question but I just want to make sure I understand. So, you would leave her in her crib for her "desired" naptime, say 2 hours. Then, you would get her up, feed, and then restart waketime once she got a little older?
    September 18, 2008 6:37 PM
    Raegan said...
    Yup! I usually kept her in the crib 1.5 hours.
    September 20, 2008 2:15 PM
  • Rebecca said...
    Thank you for this post. This was so helpful. I am struggling terribly to get my son on a consistent schedule. I used to be able to count on him eating the same time everyday at least, but lately since he may or may not take a full nap, he gets cranky and wants to eat early. I know I have not lived by all the BW principles, so that might be part of my problem. I don't know how to have the same start time every day. Sometimes he wakes up early and sometimes he wakes later. Frankly I need all the sleep I can get and I do not like waking him to keep a start time. He was going until 6, but now he wakes at 5. I have tried to let him CIO, but since his last feeding was at 8 p.m. the night before, he is ready to eat. (At least this is what he is doing THIS week.) I have tried the dream feed off and on about 9:30, but he barely wakes. On top of it all, I think he would eat more before bed, but I don't feel like I have enough to give him and he won't take a bottle. He doesn't take a nap in every eat, wake, sleep cycle. I feel that I can only offer him to lay down, but I can't make him fall asleep or stay asleep. (Thanks to this blog today, I feel a bit better about it.) How can I get him on a more predictable schedule? Any help would be appreciated.
    September 17, 2008 3:36 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Rebecca, you didn't say how old he is...see this post for help with a consistent schedule:Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html
    September 22, 2008 3:26 PM
  • Abby's Mom said...
    Wow, I needed this post a long time ago. My 9 month old has been a short napper since she was 6 weeks old. Now that she is down to 2 naps it can make some days very challenging. We have tried EVERYTHING to get her to sleep longer and nothing works. Every now and then she will take a long nap (long for us in 1.5 hours). However, nothing has changed when these longer stretches happen, so I am not sure why sometimes she will sleep longer. Raegan - Just wondering if it has gotten any better now that she is 15 months? Also, wondering what your schedule with her looks like? I know you said you put her down at set times. What time does she get up, nap and go to bed?
    September 18, 2008 10:25 AM
    Raegan said...
    She did a miraculous turn around around 13 months. She started napping at least an hour and 15 minutes, but most days an hour and a half or more. It is sheer bliss! Her naptimes at 13 months were 9:30 and 1:30/2:00. Then at 14 months she needed a longer waketime, so we changed it to 10:00 and 2:30. Now we are at a transition again, and naps are at 10:00 and 3:00. I tried both waking her after an hour in the AM and just letting her sleep. Either way she won't fall asleep until 3:30ish and I wake her by 4:30 at the latest, depending on how good her nap was earlier. Her bedtime is IN BED by 8:00. When we go down to one nap, I have a feeling we'll have to have a 7:30 bedtime. She gets up in the AM at 7:00. I usually have to wake her in the AM. I'm hoping that once we go to one nap she'll take at least a 2 hour nap. (pretty pretty please) :)I'm so glad we kept with a good consistant schedule.
    September 18, 2008 5:42 PM

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