Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Time Change Reminder

This is my friendly reminder that the time change is coming up. Daylight Saving Time (DST) for the United States ends Sunday, November 1, 2009 and Summertime for the European Union ends Sunday, October 25, 2009. When Daylight Saving Time ends, we turn our clocks back one hour.

For other parts of the world that observe DST, parts of Africa started DST at the beginning of September while other parts are ending it at the end of September. Most of Asia ends the end of October, though some end in September. For Australia (I know there are many Australian readers), it appears the Southern part of Australia is all that observes it, and you are all just starting DST. Same for South America. I am sure you know when your own DST is :)

For those of us turning our clocks back, this is the hardest of the two time changes. It is much easier to move clocks forward than to move them back. If this is your baby's first time moving clocks back, it will be the hardest one for her. Until she is a teenager :)

If you have a baby, or a one year old, you might want to consider my super slow time change strategies (linked below). If your child is two or older, it might not be a big deal. Some one year olds might not find it to be a big deal, either. If your child is super sensitive to sleep, you might want to take a longer approach to the time change.

My super slow approach is a month long strategy. You can start one month before or do two weeks before and two weeks after...it is up to you :) You can do any combo in between. You could also try to make it faster and adapt it to your own ideas for what is best for your child.

Here are the links to all time change posts on this blog:

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Baby Summary: Week 26

Things are still going really well. We moved this week and McKenna didn't seem to bat an eye. Here is a summary of our week.

NURSING
Everything remains the same. You may wonder why I say that every week :). I do it to show and assure you that milk supply is fine and she is growing fine. We are having no issues, and since "you will lose milk supply" is a common claim of the anti-babywise folks, I like to continue to point out that everything is fine.

Not only is everything fine, but everything is fine amid the stress of moving, packing, unpacking, me forgetting to eat...everything is still going well. But now that we are more settled, I am making sure to focus on eating right and drinking what I should.

NIGHTTIME SLEEP
She still slept the same. I had to wake her each morning and she slept through the night just fine. This was nice because I fully expected to have some nights of disruption due to the move (and that is totally normal), but she seems to be quite adaptable.

SOLIDS
This week, I introduced McKenna to green beans and pears. She liked both. She seems to have a special delight in pears, and who can blame her! They taste like candy when they are ripe, and'tis the season for ripe pears! I know I posted this over the weekend, but if you didn't see it, now is the time to make pears! Pears will last for one year in your freezer, so no matter the age of your baby (or unborn baby) right now, so long as your baby will reach the age of solids before one year from now, you can use them!

ROLLING
We didn't have any disruptions to sleep this week due to rolling.

DREAMFEED
We still have the dreamfeed, but we are feeding at 10:15 and moving it back. I have to wake her for it. I wanted to wait two weeks after starting the four hour schedule before dropping it fully, and I also wanted to wait a week or two after moving. Her six month appointment will be soon, along with vaccinations, so I am deciding if I should try to have it dropped before then, or if I should wait to have it fully dropped until after then. I am pondering over that right now. Either way, we are on our way.

FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE
She is still doing well with the four hour schedule. It has been nice to have long chunks of time to pack and unpack.

MOVING
I plan to do a moving tips post, but I will discuss some of our moving experience here. McKenna did really well with the move. The first day, she did cry for a couple of seconds (literally) when I put her in her bed, but other than that she was fine.

While we were moving and remodeling, she spent a lot of time at my parent's house. She didn't like sleeping there at first. She cried before naps. But she soon got used to it. Prior to this experience, she really didn't sleep anywhere other than her crib in her room. During the experience, she slept at my parent's in their crib and in their closet. She also slept in my neighbor's closet. So she got used to sleeping all over the place. I want to be sure to keep up moving her around to sleep so she maintains her flexibility.

OUR SCHEDULE

8:00 AM--wake, nurse, eat 2-3 T prunes and 1 T peaches mixed with 3 T oatmeal (3 T dry before mixed with water).
9:00-9:10 AM--nap
12:00 PM--wake, nurse, eat about 4 T green veggie and 4-8 T banana (she will eat an entire banana. She loves them).
1:15-1:30 PM--nap
4:00 PM--wake, nurse, eat about 4 T yellow veggie and 4 T pears. I then offer 2 T oatmeal and let her eat until full. She usually doesn't eat much oatmeal, but I offer it to see if she is still hungry.
6:00 PM--(sometimes she is tired between 5:30 and 6:00, in which case I put her down) nap
8:00 PM--wake, nurse, change into PJs, story, bed
10:15 PM--dreamfeed

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Monday, September 28, 2009

What and Where

On Becoming Preschoolwise talks about two important words to help keep your preschooler doing what he should be doing: What and Where (page 94).

You start by deciding what your child should be doing and where he should be doing it. And when your preschooler starts to stray from the what and where? You simply ask one of two (or both questions): What are you supposed to be doing? (wait for answer) Where are you supposed to be? (wait for answer).

Preschoolwise points out that these questions are preferable to the old "I told you to..." and my additions of "How many times do I have to tell you..." and "What part of no don't you understand?"

"The what and where questions will help your child take ownership of what is expected without constant reminders from Mom" (page 94).

In Action

Now to finish up with this practice in reality. It sounds nice on paper, but of course your child will come up with his own responses that weren't in the book.

If your child is like Brayden, he might respond, "I don't know." Hmmm....here is how I work past the "I don't know" answer. I don't know again removes responsibility from the child, so we want to avoid it.

You might be a "yes, mom" sort of gal and think this will prevent all problems...perhaps so, but perhaps not. This is what I do. I give the instructions. I then ask Brayden what I just said. Often times, even after he has "yes, mom"ed me, he can't really repeat what it is I said to him. So I tell him to listen carefully. He does, and he repeats the instructions the next time.

Knowing that he will be expected to repeat his instructions, he now pays better attention in the first place. So, you give instructions. You then immediately ask your child what and where. You then have him do what you have told him to do. Then, if you need to return to what and where later, you know he always knew what he was supposed to be doing. And he knows that you know :)

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Friday, September 25, 2009

Buy Pears

My husband's grandparents gave us a bunch of pears they grew so I made a month's supply for McKenna (6 months) this week. As I was doing so, I noticed in Super Baby Food that pears are good in the freezer for one year (as baby food cubes)!

If you have room in your freezer, you should go out and buy a whole bunch of pears and make baby food out of it. Pears are a great price right now (at least where I live) and are in season. They taste better and are cheaper than they will be 6 months from now. And they will still be good in your freezer ONE YEAR from now! Wow. Just thought I would share.

Reader Nursing Questions

BEDTIME
  • Abby's Mom said...
    Val- I have a question about bedtime feedings. I currently feed my almost 5 month old at 7pm and then she has a bath and I read a short book to her. She is then put in bed around 7:30 to 7:45. My problem is that the feeding before that does not happen until between 4:30 and 5pm so she doesn't eat much at 7:00. But, I don't want to move that feeding any later because she needs to go to bed. Do I need waketime after her last feeding of the day or is it okay to reverse her bath and feeding so that she has a bath and then nurses right before I put her in bed? (She does not nurse to sleep so I would still be able to put her down awake)
    May 9, 2008 9:12 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    That is a great question. Two months ago, I would have said of course do it and leave it at that. I now have a word of caution. A BW friend of mine has a bbay a couple of weeks younger than Kaitlyn, so we were both weaning about the same time from nursing. She did things like you are proposing. She ran into difficulty weaning her son from that final nursing. She didn't nurse him to sleep or anything, but he had apparently become attached to it. I do bedtime where I feed, then pj's and story, etc. I didn't have any difficulties dropping feedings. My friend says she will do things a bit different with the next child.So I would say do like the bath and pjs, then nurse, then do something else. You could read a book, before too long you will be brushing teeth, etc. Just don't make nursing the last major event of the day.Also, I am guessing you have at least 5 feedings a day right now. Once you move down to 4 feedings, the feedings shouldn't be too close to each other.
    May 10, 2008 2:34 PM
    Abby's Mom said...
    Thanks for the word of caution. Trouble weaning is exactly what I trying to avoid. Abby WILL NOT drink from a bottle and we have tried EVERYTHING. So, my hope is that eventually (I am sure it will probably be closer to 12 months) she will learn to drink from a cup. Since I don't have the option to give her a bottle, I don't want anything else to delay the weaning process when it comes time. Thanks so much for the advice and yes I am actually still feeding 6 times a day on most days. (Mostly do to reflux, some feedings are very poor) Hopefully she will be ready to start solids soon (she will be 5 months in a few days) and we can get down to 5 and then eventually 4 feedings every day.
    May 10, 2008 7:16 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    You are most welcome. I would start offering her sippy cups of just water right now. I would try to make it seem as though it isn't a big deal to you. Just have it there for her to try if she wants. If you don't like sippys, then I would offer water in a cup quite often to get her used to drinking from whatever it is you want to wean to.Kaitlyn took a while to move down to 4 feedings a day, also, because of reflux. She went to 4 when she was close to 7 months, and we started solids at 4 months. You are good to wait for her to be ready for it :)
    May 12, 2008 1:57 PM

FULL FEEDINGS
  • juls1974 said...
    Hello, there! I'm new to this blog and to Babywise. I have a 4 week old and have TONS of questions about his sleeping/eating schedule. I will start with a basic one (forgive me if it's too basic): what defines a "full feeding" when nursing? Is it a length of time or just until the baby no longer wants anymore? I've been searching through the blog but haven't found the answer yet.
    September 5, 2008 8:19 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    juls1974, A full feeding is a feeding where baby takes all he needs to be full. This means you don't let him nurse for a few mintutes then fall asleep, wake up an hour later and eat a few more minutes, etc. You can tell if there is a full feeding if baby is happy afterward and if he can make it to the next feeding time.You can't tell just by time since some take longer times to eat than others, and they themselves change how long they take to eat over time. It is hard to tell at first, but you will get it. For a four week old, expect about 30 minutes for a full feeding, though some will take longer and some shorter.
    September 10, 2008 2:38 PM

INFECTIONS
  • sasa said... Thanks for your advice! He finally slept through the night last night, so it must have been the calorie thing-- two meals just might be my answer! Hopefully, it will continue. I'm looking forward to reading more of your blog. Any help for a breast infection? Or maybe it's a clogged duct? Must have come on because of the lack of sleep the last two weeks!
    May 6, 2008 10:28 PM
    Plowmanators said... Really watch the infection. I have had mastitis twice. The first time kind of caught be by surprise. The second time I knew it was coming before it got bad. I would start each nursing session on the side that is clogged until it clears up. You can also massage the spot while nursing to help get it out. If it gets really tender, red, or hot or if you feel flu-like symptoms, call your doctor right away. Mastitis can be really serious if left untreated.
    May 7, 2008 8:54 PM
NEWBORNS
  • The Devines said...
    Hi again! After our 10pm DF (which he is very sleepy for) our 7wk old LO is now waking at 1am and 4am (his morning start time is 6:30), at which points he only nurses for at total of 5 minutes on one breast and falls asleep. He is IMPOSSIBLE to nurse. What to do?1) Should I be trying to wake him to nurse (ie: cold cloth ect) or do I treat this as a DF?2) Could he just be waking because he has a dirty diaper? Should I just change him and rock him back to sleep?3) I can't believe I am going to ask this: Is he sleeping TOO LONG? Essentially from 7pm - 6:30?4) He is feeding well at 6:30 - does this mean that I should try to eliminate one of the night feeds (ideally the last one) and if so is CIO the only way seeing as though I can't exactly feed him less and less each night as he isn't taking much in the first place? Thank you SO much for all of your help. You are so valuable to the BW community of parents!
    January 5, 2009 9:35 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Devines,1-You want to get a full feeding even out of a DF. 2-Definite possibility3-Probably not4-Since he is not really eating for that 4 AM feed, you can try to eliminate it. My guess would be he doesn't need it. There are the ideas in this post as well as CIO. Decide what you are most comfortable with. If he wakes with a dirty diaper at this time, I would change his diaper before CIO, though. You are welcome!
    January 8, 2009 2:56 PM
    The Devines said...
    Hey Plowmanator, Thanks for the advice, and I think I may have noticed from your recent post on reviewing "Happiest Baby on the Block" that you're pregnant again. If so, congrats!A quick question cause I'm still unsure of something, both from your answer and from Babywise as well:1. My 8-week old has a dreamfeed at 10. He then wakes up for a night-time feed at around 1am, and then another night-time feed at 4-5am. My question is: for the 1am and 4-5am night-time feeds, I'm unsure on whether or not he's allowed to wake and fall asleep at the breast during these. Should I be doing everything I can to keep him awake? Or everything I can to keep him asleept, i.e. treat these as dreamfeeds?Thanks, an again I appreciate all your time.
    January 10, 2009 3:13 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Devines, I am pregnant, thanks! A dreamfeed doesn't mean you don't try to get a full feeding, it just means they aren't necessarily fully awake for this feeding. I personally do everything I can to get a full feeding in at each feeding, even in the middle of the night. Otherwise, there is no reason they would make it longer between feedings because they aren't getting a full feeding.
    January 16, 2009 11:11 AM
MILK SUPPLY
  • Becky said... I am dealing with milk supply issues. My son David is 4 mo. old and has started solids.He was sleeping through the night, and taking great naps during the day and now all of that is disrupted.I am having trouble with him getting distracted and wanting to get off the breast early (wanting to watch his brother play)I have tried to go into another room and that doesn't help. This has been going on for about a week, and I feel that my milk supply has been cut in half. David is very fussy on the left side to begin with(has always been), and now it almost feels like the left side is drying up, and there is not much milk on that side.He is on a 3 hr schedule, and does really well with that. He feeds, is awake, and then sleeps in that order every 3 hours. Now since he is not taking in enough at the feeding, by that time is is nap time, he is hungry, and will not sleep. Then at the 3 hour mark, he is hungry, cranky and tired, so he fusses for a minute at the breast (and nurses for a minute), and falls asleep. When he wakes up, its not time to eat, but he is hungry. This is compromising my milk supply also, so I have had to give him formula as a supplement and he takes about 8 oz of formula from a bottle.-- - Becky
    October 7, 2008 1:19 PM
    Plowmanators said... Becky, see this post: Nursing Woes :http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nursing-woes.html If you feel supply is not as good on the left side, try having it so he eats from the right first for feedings he is especially hungry (like the first one of the day). Also, look into your supply and make sure it is okay and it is not that your son has just gotten a lot faster (they usually do get A LOT faster at this age). If you plan to continue to supplement, try nursing first, then offering some formula to be sure he gets a full feeding. That should help him not be hungry at naptime.
    October 9, 2008 1:16 PM
    Becky said... Thanks! I tried to put him for a nap and he cried the whole time (because he was hungry) I got him up at the 3 hr mark and fed him and supplemented with formula. He fell asleep, so I woke him and changed his diaper, and put him down again. He slept for 1 1/2 hrs and woke, so I fed him again and he was awake for the rest of the night! He went to bed at 730pm and woke 2 times in the middle of the night. (usually sleeps through the night). Thanks for your help! Keep it coming!
    October 9, 2008 1:23 PM
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Thursday, September 24, 2009

Baby Whisperer: Introducing A Bottle Late

image source
I know there are many moms out there who just never got around to introducing a bottle, or introduced a bottle and things went well, but mom let it go, thinking things were good. Whatever the reason, introducing a bottle late can be a problem. Tracy Hogg has some good suggestions for introducing late in The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems.

  • Nipple Type: Find a nipple that closely resembles mom's nipple. Once you find one she likes, stick with it (pages 126-127). I have found the Adiri bottle to be very similar to the breast. That is what McKenna uses. Brayden and Kaitlyn used Avent, which I liked a lot. I was just daring and went for the Adiri. I found McKenna learned to eat faster from the Adiri than Brayden and Kaitlyn from the Avent, but she could just be more adaptable in that department :)
  • Nipple Flow: Experiment with nipple flow. (page 127) If your baby takes 20 minutes or more to eat, she will likely need a slower flow. If she eats in less than 10 minutes, she might need a faster flow. If she is somewhere between, try both :)
  • Beginning of Day: Start with a bottle for her first feeding of the day when she will be the hungriest. (page 127)
  • Never Force: If he won't take it within five minutes, stop and try later. page 128
  • Keep it Warm: Run warm water over the nipple to get it warm like human flesh (page 128)
  • Try Every Hour: For the first day, Hogg suggests you try every hour. I think I wouldn't do that unless it is imperative baby takes a bottle. If you are going back to work, on vacation, or need to wean, this might be a good idea. If not, I would just wait until the next feeding or next day. (page 128)
  • Other People: It is common advice to have someone other than mom feed the bottle. Some say mom can't even be in the house. Hogg says once baby is adept at the bottle, be sure mom offers it, too, to offer flexibility. I have found that my babies actually take the bottle better from me if they are being stubborn about it. Perhaps it is because I am more stubborn :) (page 128)
  • Expect and Ride Out a Hunger Strike: This is common advice all around. If baby won't eat, don't nurse. Baby will not let herself starve. Again, if you are really needing baby to take a bottle, this is a good approach. If not, I don't know that I would let baby go hungry unless we had been working on the bottle for a long time.
  • Give Bottle Once a Day: Hogg says to feed a bottle daily. If you are a long-term breastfeeder and plan to breastfeed for a long time yet, this is very inconvenient. I find that feeding a bottle once per week is often enough to keep baby practiced. (page 128)
MY TIPS
Here are my tips for introducing a bottle:
  • Pump First: When I am introducing the bottle, I always pump an ounce or two and feed it to baby. I do it right before the feed so it is fresh.
  • Bottle First: I give the bottle to the baby before the breast so baby will be hungry
  • Timing: I actually don't do the first feed of the day. I pick one that is calm for me so I can pump and focus on feeding baby.
  • Persevere: If baby refuses to take it, I keep trying for a while. Don't just drop it at the first refusal. I like Hogg's 5 minute rule. 5 minutes is a long time in baby time.
If you are reading this and have either a young newborn or a baby who takes a bottle well, keep it up! Don't let it get to the point that you need to employ these tips.

I have a post dedicated to this, but I wanted again to point out that I think it is wise to introduce your baby to a bottle even if you fully intend to breastfeed for a year or longer. You never know what the future brings. You could need to be away from baby. You could get pregnant and find that nursing while pregnant is just too taxing. You could lose your milk supply. You could require surgery and be on medication that isn't safe for baby. You could die. Really; anything can happen. If baby already takes a bottle, it will make any of these stressful situations a little easier for all involved.



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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Poll Results: AT WHAT AGE DID WITCHING HOUR GO AWAY?

Results:

8 weeks or younger: 51 votes (34%)

9-10 weeks: 15 votes
(10%)

11-12 weeks: 30 votes
(20%)

13-14 weeks: 15 votes
(10%)

15-16 weeks: 7 votes
(4%)

17-18 weeks: 0 votes
(0%)

19-20 weeks: 2 votes
(1%)

4 months or older: 28 votes
(18%)



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  • Reminder: You can leave comments on poll results posts if you would like to add to the poll after it has closed. This would be helpful for those who have more than one child, those whose children have reached certain ages after a poll closed, and those who didn't visit the blog while that poll was open. To find closed polls, click on the poll results link above.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Baby Summary: Week 25

first taste of peas
This was a week of big changes for McKenna. Here we go.

NURSING
Everything is still good. She is a little faster. She probably takes about ten minutes per feeding these days, but I don't really keep track anymore.

NIGHTIME SLEEP
This continues to be the same and wonderful. I still wake her up at eight each morning.

SOLIDS
This week I introduced McKenna to her first green vegetable: peas. She liked them.

ROLLING
This week we had two rolling disruptions during sleep. They both came in the morning. The first one was at 6:50 AM. I heard her crying, which I thought was odd. I looked on my video monitor (love it!) and she was on her belly. I went up to her and rolled her on to her back. She went back to sleep and slept until eight when I woke her up.

The next time was a few days later. It was 7:15. Again, I went to her and rolled her on to her back. I didn't know if she would go back to sleep since it was pretty close to morning waketime. Well, she did. She is super baby.

DREAMFEED
We still have the dreamfeed.

FOUR HOUR SCHEDULE
Are you wondering where the big change is? Here it is. We are on a four hour schedule. Yes, I know. We haven't dropped the dreamfeed. Yes, I know. I have told many, many, many of you to drop the dreamfeed FIRST.

I still think that is the best thing to do (drop the dreamfeed before moving to a four hour schedule). We had many extenuating circumstances that led to this:
  • We are moving soon and I really felt like I needed to keep the dreamfeed until after we were settled in our new house.
  • She was ready to drop a feeding and thus the end of our day was really crammed in there.
  • We were painting.
Painting is what led to this schedule. The first day of this week, we started painting our new house. We had lots of friends and family come over and we were painting like crazy. McKenna was at my parent's house where my mom was watching her. I completely last track of time and McKenna kept on sleeping (like she always does) so that a feeding came an hour late in the evening. Because of that, I couldn't cram in the last feedings like I usually do. So I decided that day was a four hour schedule.

Well, that was smooth and so much more convenient for our working-on-the-house schedule. So I just decided to keep going with the four hour schedule. She did great. My current plan is to keep the dreamfeed until after we have been in our new house for 1-2 weeks.

Again, I still think it is preferable to drop the dreamfeed first. But you always have to do what is best for the entire family. We were in a special situation that this really worked better for us. I don't think it will cause any long-term problems :). I haven't seen any short-term problems.

I also think that often times if your baby is older than four months old and still has a dreamfeed and not yet on a four hour schedule, she will be ready to both drop the dreamfeed and move to a four hour schedule at the same time. With Kaitlyn, I dropped the dreamfeed and moved to a four hour schedule a couple of days later. It is risky to do it that way because is baby has problems, you won't be sure if it is because of the dreamfeed, four hour schedule, or both.

OUR SCHEDULE
  • 8:00 AM: I wake her. Nurse. 2 T fruit (prunes or peaches) and 3 T oatmeal. This is followed by bath and then independent playtime.
  • 9:00 AM: Nap
  • 12:00 PM: I wake her (yes, she takes a 3 hour nap). Nurse. 2-4 T peas and 2-4 T of bananas. This is followed by some time with siblings and some tummy time/floor play.
  • 1:15-1:30 PM: Nap. Almost every day this week, she took this nap at my parent's house.
  • 4:00 PM: I wake her. Nurse. 4 T yellow veggie, 2 T fruit (usually peaches), and 4 T oatmeal. This is followed by us going to our new house to work on it. I would put her in the front carrier or in the bouncer. Some days, she and I would drive to pick up food for the workers.
  • 6:00 PM: Nap. This was taken in my new neighbors master bedroom closet in her bassinet.
  • 8:00 PM: I wake her. Some nights she woke on her own. She sleeps so well! I never expected her to sleep well there. They have six kids, so you know things just get really loud sometimes. The girl can sleep. Nurse and then back to bed at home.
  • 10:20 or 10:30 PM: Dreamfeed.
I would ideally like the last feeding to start at 7:30 so she can be in bed by 8:00, but for right now, it is good for me to have that extra 30 minutes to work on the house. We are still figuring out our perfect 4 hour schedule.
, 2009
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Monday, September 21, 2009

Dropping Naps: Moving to Rest Time

I am sure that dropping the one nap of the day is bitter-sweet. On the one hand, the break time is nice for everyone :). On the other hand, your child is growing up (or is that on both hands?). It gives you a lot more freedom to get out and do things. As in all things, there are good and bad points associated with dropping the one nap of the day.

But at what point do you do this? On Becoming Preschoolwise states that dropping this nap starts around four years of age, though it greatly depends on the sleep needs of individual children (page 100). Some children start this at age three; others wait until closer to five.

Dropping this nap is very, very different from all of the other naps you have dropped in your child's life. It isn't dropped by dropping feedings like when your child was an infant. It isn't slowly dropped over a couple of weeks, or dropped cold turkey like the third and first naps. The idea that dropping naps is a weaning process greatly applies to dropping this nap.

Over time, your child will stop sleeping during this nap some days. As time passes, he will sleep during this time less and less, until he sleeps less often than he does sleep. At this point, you are really having rest time rather than nap time. On Becoming Preschoolwise says that the process of transitioning from nap time to rest time takes six months to one year (page 101).

THE PROCESS
On Becoming Preschoolwise has tips for this process (pages 100-101). You essentially tell your child to lay in bed--he may not leave bed. He can have a couple of books to look at. You tell him if he feels sleepy, he should sleep. If he does fall asleep, no matter what time, you wake him at his normal wake up time. If he does not fall asleep, you might need to put him to bed 30 minutes early.

SIBLINGS
If your children share a room, have the child who is transitioning out of nap time and to rest time in a separate room (your room, family room, etc.)

IN ACTIONOur process has been a bit different than described in Preschoolwise. First, it kind of started around three, not four.

At three, Brayden started sleeping less and less, but his disposition after a missed nap told me he wasn't ready to not be taking naps. I had him sleep in my room since his room overlooked the road, where he had lots to look at instead of sleep. That helped a lot. Naps went back to happening most days.

Then the real process started around 3.5 years old. An overall difficulty for us is that Brayden really does not like to sleep. Kaitlyn has always loved it, but Brayden does not. You can't tell him to sleep if he needs it; according to him, he never needs it :)

He is really good about staying in his bed. We had our battle at 3.5, but he is good. I had to teach him to tell time so he would stay in bed and not get up to check if it was time to get out. Now he has his books and his clock and he stays in bed.

He now doesn't take a nap most days (he is four years and three months old). He takes a nap about 3 days a week. I recently tried shortening his time in bed, but it didn't go well. He needs his time in there to decompress and just relax.

We are definitely on our way to having no naps, but we are not there yet. It has been a long process and will continue on for many more months to come, I am sure. For now, it is called naptime. As he can handle it, we will shorten it and have official rest time until he no longer needs that to make it through the day happily and obediently :)

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Reader Newborn Questions

Feedings and Milk Supply

Sleep

  • taralous said...
    Hi! I just found your blog! yay! I am SOOO confused. I have a 17 month old who I did Babywise with for the most part and he was pretty easy and did well with the schedule. I just had a little girl who is 4 weeks today and she is making me double think everything! She doesn't sleep alot which I thought newborns were supposed to! She is usually up 2-3 hours at a time and will nap about an hour or so twice during the afternoon. She is super fussy all the time and I can barely get her to make it to 2 hours for feedings. I breastfeed both sides and give her a bottle. Sometimes she drinks 1-1 1/2 oz and sometimes all 2 oz. Anyways. I am confused. I don't know whats the matter and I have laid her down in her crib after feedings and waketimes knowing she needs to sleep but she screams bloody murder for a good 20 minutes and by that time I get her and she is almost ready to eat again. Any help would be great. I'm getting tired!
    September 23, 2008 12:20 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    taralous, It sounds like you had a son who liked to sleep and was pretty easy. Your daughter sounds like my son. My son slept a lot in the day for 1-2 weeks, then rarely ever napped. A few things:1-You have to take control of the situation. She should be awake for about 45min-1 hour at this point (now she is about 5 weeks). At that point, put her down for a nap.2-teach her to self-soothe. You can do CIO or you can do an approach outlined by Tracy Hogg (author of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer). Once those things are in place, she should be able to go longer between feedings. Be sure to look through the blog index; there are many posts on there that can help you. Here are some I would point out:Nap Cues : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/nap-cues.html CIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.html
    October 1, 2008 4:06 PM

Starting Babywise

  • Emily said...
    I thought I posted this question in another post but didn't see it when I checked so I HOPE I'm not repeating since I know you get enough questions as it is.

    My questions are for when you start implementing BW with a newborn.
    1. Do newborns have a 12hr "night time" period? Where from 8PM-8AM you lay them straight down after every feeding or do they have a shorther nightime with 8 or 10hrs long?
    2. What do you do if during the night they won't go straight to sleep? I understand during the day you can try different things then just move on w/ the eat/wake/sleep but what about at night when they're only supposed to eat/sleep...?Thank you and I hope you're feeling better now!
    October 18, 2008 7:53 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Emily,
    1. That is going to dependon the baby. With Kaitlyn, after her 7ish feeding, I would change her into her PJs and put her to bed. Then for the dreamfeed, I put her straight down. After night feeds, I put her straight down. I always put her straight down until it was the first feeding of the day. With Brayden, his night started later but I think that was more out of my own inexperience than his needs.
    2. This is a hard one. At first, we would rock her or something. At some point, we had her CIO--but both kids basically went straight back to sleep.
    October 21, 2008 11:53 AM

Schedule

  • Natalie said...
    I have a quick question. My baby is 6 weeks old and eats at roughly 7 am, 10 am, 1 pm, and 4 pm. after 4 pm her next wake up time varies greatly, anywhere from 7-9:30 pm. As of late I've woken her up for the 7 pm and 10 pm feeding so that she would maintain 7 feeding periods in a day. However I'm starting to get the feeling that I should let her wake up on her own for her next feeding after 4 pm. I called the doc b/c sometimes she after 4 pm she won't wake up until 9 30 pm and then not again until about 3 am. My question is when do I do the bedtime routine? Surely not at 4 PM, but I feel like my daughter wakes up so late for her next feeding that any waketime activities, including a bedtime routine, should be avoided since I eventually want her to be asleep at seven pm for the night. Also, when she wakes up for the feeding after four pm, she's very clearly in nighttime mode. I can tell because she nurses the exact same way she does in the middle of the night and falls right to sleep after she eats. Does she have her days and nights messed up? I've been trying to wake her up for the last feedings to keep seven feedings in the day, but I really feel my intuition telling me that if she's wanting to stay asleep and she's already six weeks old, I shouldn't mess with her too much lest I create real sleep problems from always waking her. I apologize for being so verbose but I have no idea what to do.
    October 28, 2008 3:20 PM
    Natalie said...
    So I reread your post about the dream feed and basically its like the 7 pm and 10 pm feeds are both dreamfeeds for olive. I have tried everything! Maybe I should aim for the four pm feeding to be between 3 30 and 4 pm hoping that she'll wake herself up by 7 pm? if she does wake herself up, do I do waketime? is that when I do a short bedtime routine but still keep everything low key? Also, if she did wake up on her own around 730 (and how long do i let her go from 3:30 - 4 pm feeding until I wake her up?) what time should I make her dream feed? I'd rather it be late, like around 11:30 pm, but thats longer than the 3 hours i normally go. Lastly, I could set a watch by her waketime at 2:42 am. I fell asleep the other night after i had woken her to eat at 9 30 after her 4 30 feeding and she woke at 2 42. I feed her at 12 30 as a dream feed and she sleeps until 2 42. no matter what i do she goes until 2:42!!!
    October 28, 2008 3:39 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Natalie, I would be sure to have waketime after the 4 PM feeding, then wake her at 7 PM for a feeding and get her into her PJs either before or after the feeding. You will have some waketime for the 7 PM feeding, but it doesn't have to be as long as other waketimes.The DF can be 11:30 if you want it to. I would do it anywhere from 10-11:30.
    November 3, 2008 11:29 AM
  • Natalie said...
    I'm very, very desperate at this point. I realized a few days ago that my 8 week old baby has only been having 7 feeds a day including her mon feeding which occurred anywhere between 330-5am. I decided to swich to a 2.5 hour schedule so she would have 7 feedings during the day. My problem is the same one it's always been. My baby has always slept very deeply and soundly after about 7 pm. I have to wake her up from her nap at 7-730, feed her and basically put her right back down. I won't hear from her at all. I started doing a dreamfeed at about 11:30. For a while she was going to 5 am. Then she started going to 3:50 am. At that point I decided to switch to a 2.5 hr schedule with cluster feedings at night to help her sttn. This means her feeds are as follows: 7:30 am, 10:30 am (this is usually a very good nap) 1pm, 3:30pm, 6pm (at this point I have to wake her from a deep sleep-last night i let her go to 6:20) 8:30 (last night 8:45 and i had to wake her up) and a df at 11 pm. I think I totally messed her up by waking her up so many times after 7 pm! She woke up off and on all night long. She has NEVER done that, always slept from df w/o any crying until her feeding at 3:50. I know it takes a few days for you to respond but I have no idea if I should just switch her back to the 3 hr schedule I had her on before and just keep doing what I was doing where she slept from 7:30 pm on or what. Honestly, I would rather wake up every night for the mon and have her maintain her sound nighttime sleep then disrupt her and cause her to get up all night long. I'm almost to tears because I feel I've undone all the hard work to this point. Please tell me what you would do.
    November 11, 2008 5:24 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Natalie, I agree with you; go back to the 3 hour schedule and what worked before. This will mean she might take longer to STTN, but I am with you in that it is preferable to have good sleep at night. She might take a while to get back. When Kaitlyn was 6ish weeks old, I decided to enforce a DF. She slept terribly that night and for every night for a week, but she did get back on track. Your work will not have been all undone.
    November 19, 2008 2:52 PM
  • Ann said...
    Hello! I am a new mommy to a 6 week old. We have many friends who are strong advocates of BW, so I knew we would be implementing it when our son was born. However, since we are NEW parents, we have so many questions and frustrations. I hope it's okay to ask them here!I should probably give you some background info first before I start the round of 20 questions. :)He was a big baby at birth. 9 lbs and is currently 13 lbs today (only 6 weeks!). He consumes anywhere from 4-5 oz at a time. I am strictly pumping and adding formula at every feed to ensure he gets a full feeding. I only pump 2-3 oz at a time. He has come to learn how to self soothe for naps, which is great! AND he had two nights when he slept through the night! However, this is what I noticed: the days following his continuous sleep, his feeding schedules get stretched out. For example, he normally feeds every 3 hrs. But when he slept through the night, the next day he was feeding every 4 hrs. So, I thought his body was naturally moving to a 4 hr schedule. But, then that night, he goes back to 3 hr feedings. Any explanation? Should I be waking him up to prevent the 4 hr stretch?Also, I've seen the term dreamfeed here on this site, but I didn't see it in the book. Can you explain that to me? and when should I really be enforcing it?Third, our ideal schedule would be for him to sleep from 8/9ish pm to 8/9ish am. How do we start doing that? Right now, his last feed is normally around 10-11 and then we let him wake up naturally. Is the last feed something he will eventually drop? At what age do they normally start to do that?I think that's it for now. I realize he is still really young, but I didn't know when we would start seeing results. Thank you!
    January 8, 2009 3:04 PM
    Ann said...
    Hello again -- I was just curious to see if you received my post/question? I know you are busy. Just checking. Thank you.
    January 14, 2009 7:16 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Ann, Definitely wake up to keep him on 3 hours in the day at this age. Dreamfeed is a word that the online BW community uses for the late evening feeding. It is found in the Baby Whisperer.Your 10-11 feeding is the dreamfeed. For all information on that, see the blog label "dreamfeed"It sounds like he is doing really well!
    January 14, 2009 5:22 PM

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Growth Spurts

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In The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, Tracy Hogg lists some good information on growth spurts. I think growth spurts are often troublesome for parents. We never know for sure if it is a growth spurt. Once we know it is (or we think we know it is), we aren't sure how long it should last or will last. Here are some answers to help you out.

WHAT IS A GROWTH SPURT?
"...a period, typically lasting a day or two, when your baby's body demands more food." (page 116)

I have to start by saying that I don't think it is a good idea to have a preconceived time table in mind for how long a growth spurt should last. When Kaitlyn was having her 6 week growth spurt, Brayden was having his 2 year old doctor appointment. I asked our pediatrician how long a growth spurt lasts. He replied that you can't put a timetable on it.

McKenna's growth spurts always lasted about 5-6 days. Yikes! That is a long time! Growth spurts are exhausting. She went from feeding every three hours to every 2.5. Toward the end of the growth spurt, she ate every 2 hours. Whoa. What a difference one hour makes. I was always happy to have the growth spurt end :) But they are a part of life.

I also read in another book (I believe Super Baby Food?) that baby's first year is really just one long growth spurt with faster sprints mingled in there. I think that is a great way of looking at it.

Also, I found that both Kaitlyn and McKenna had one day each week where they ate more often. Kaitlyn's day was Thursday and McKenna's was Friday. This lasted until somewhere between 2-3 months old.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT IS A GROWTH SPURT?
If your child is typically a good sleeper, it makes "diagnosing" a growth spurt much easier. If your child typically takes a full nap and has been sleeping X number of hours at night, but suddenly starts waking early, the it most likely is a growth spurt.

You can also look at the time table. This is tricky because just about every "expert" has a different timeline for growth spurts. Hogg says the first one happens at 6-8 weeks old (116). Not true for my children! The timetable I have found to be true for all of my children is that they happen every 3-4 weeks. So the first one will be somewhere around 3-4 weeks old. Basically it is once a month. In her first book, Hogg says they happen every 3-4 weeks.

Another hint Hogg uses is the type of waking if baby is waking in the night. If baby is waking at the same time every night, it might not be a hunger issue. If it is at different times every night, the it likely is a growth spurt (page 116).

Another good clue is how baby eats. If she eats well when you feed her earlier than usual, then it likely is a growth spurt. If not, then she might be waking for some other reason (page 117). I do have a word of caution with this, though. If your baby is a sleepy eater (common in the newborn stages, so very common at the 3/4 week growth spurt and 6/8 week growth spurt), she might still get sleepy at a feeding if she is going through a growth spurt. Watch for behavior that is different from normal.

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT A GROWTH SPURT?
Feed baby. Feed baby. Feed baby. Did I mention feed baby?

Hogg says to increase food during the day (adding ounces to bottles or more feedings when breastfeeding) and/or adding a dreamfeed if you don't have one already (page 117). If you are breastfeeding and your baby will do it, you can also increase the amount of time baby spends nursing. So if baby typically takes 20 minutes to eat, you can increase nursing time to 30 minutes. This will increase stimulation which will increase milk supply. This is usually easier to do with the newborns than the 3/4 month olds. When they get older, they don't really want to sit and suck when not much is coming; they want to be looking at the world!

Many parents worry during a growth spurt. They feel like they are backtracking and worry they are starting new bad habits with short naps. Please don't worry about it--especially if it comes at the expense of feeding your baby the food she needs.

Ignoring a growth spurt will not make it go away. It will only prolong your short naps and/or night wakings. The best way to "fix" a growth spurt is to feed baby. Once baby's body has reached the growth needed, you will be able to tell and you can get baby back on her normal napping/sleeping schedule.

It is normal for a baby to have growth spurts. It is not cause for concern. Feed baby as she needs it. Doing so is following the rules of Babywise precisely. I know growth spurts are exhausting, but the are a necessity. Hang in there!

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