Monday, April 5, 2010

Logical Consequences Help

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Hello everyone! I am planning to do a post on logical consequences per a request from a reader. She wanted to know what my logical conseqences are/would be for specific behaviors.

So, my question to you is this. What behaviors would you like to know about? Leave a comment telling me what behaviors you would like to get logical consequences ideas for. I will then list them all in a post and give my thoughts.

Thanks everyone!

45 comments:

Melanie said...

"Arching back" yelling tantrums in public!

Jamie said...

Kicking during diaper changes.

Also, can you list your logical consequences and how they change based on age. I'm assuming your consequences change as the child ages, or that you don't start certain consequences until a certain age/ability.

WorkingMom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WorkingMom said...

Throwing toys - my 15 month old angel is getting such a kick out of tossing them everywhere despite my redirection!

Amanda said...

Hitting and biting, we are still dealing with some of these behaviors on occasion and I can't figure out why. We never spank, our almost 2 year old son is never around other kids that hit, he just gets mad sometimes or thinks it's funny and he will hit or bite.

the Shipe's said...

I dont think you would leave this for a logical concequence, but I am struggling with it, so I hope you don't mind that I put it here.

My 14 month old son used to look at me when I asked him to "look at mommy" so that he was looking at me when I gave him direction. The last month he has been fighting it. To teach him I physically turned his head. Should I start doing this again? He is pretty obedient for his age, but I still want him to look at me while I talk to him. Thanks

Tyler and Shea Moses said...

Fit throwing by a pre toddler (14.5 mo) when told a firm "no" and then telling me no when she doesn't want to do something I want her to eat or walk with me to get ready for her bath. She also is very purposfully throwing food on the floor! Ahhhh! Any help would be sooooo appreciated!!

Redheads said...

Oh, so many of these suggestions mimic would I am going through with my 14.5 month old. Must be the age when the fun begins!!
How about logical consequences for "Do not touch the ________".
Also, how do you teach your child to come to you when called?

Sara said...

Running away when asking him to come to me. Not obeying when I tell him over and over.

Mama said...

First I want to say, I found your blog about a mont ago and it has been a tremendous help for my family. I have a now 6 mo who had severe colic up until 4.5months and a daughter who is 2.5yrs and started her "trying two's" Thank You!
When I give my daughter direction as to what I expect from her I always have her repeat it so I know she knows exactly what I expect. Then when I find her being disobedient if I say, "Is that obeying Mama?" Or "should you be doing that?" She always replies with yes. So I am constantly explaining that she is not obeying and telling her what I expect but I feel like I'm running in circle's. I'm not sure how to handle this. Hoping you can help me.
Also the other thing I was wondering is wake time. My 2.5yr old used to sleep with her door closed and knew that it was not time to get up until I came in to get her in the morning. Right after I had my newborn, now 6mo we moved. My daughter had so much change in her life between the move, and a new baby sister who had horrible colic that I gave in one night and let her have her door open. She had never asked before and was really upset being in a new home I figured she was scared and let her. Put that on top of her being completely potty trained as of a month ago, she wakes up every morning yelling for the potty between 5 -6am. I will take her potty I don't make any sweet talk or anything I tell her it's not play time it's still time to sleep. But fromthis point on she tries to stay up. It doesn't matter what I do. I have tried shortening her daytime nap from 2hrs to 1hr and even tried not giving her a nap at all. I tried moving her bed time from 7pm to 8pm. With no luck. So I'm not sure how to handle it. But I know she needs the sleep because on the rare occasions that she does fall back asleep she is definitly in a much better mood.
Any ideas? Thank you for all your help.
Amy

Lindsay Neal said...

I would definitely be interested in hearing your thoughts on biting. I think this will be my biggest trial as a parent because I understand teaching boundaries and manners and even outlasting behaviors but what to do when they bite is scary to me!

cmacri722 said...

Biting and hitting please!

Andrea said...

HAHA Welcome to the 14 month old hotline! Add me to the list! Ours would be discipline when you can't take something away. So if it's hitting or yelling really loud. Time out is iffy because he can't sit in a chair unassisted yet. I especially don't want to spank if the "crime" is hitting but I can't seem to communicate other than "mom eyes" that he is in trouble. Can't WAIT for this post!

April Barber said...

Arching her back and pulling away while we are trying to feed her...she does it with the bottle (she drinks formula) and when she is in her chair getting solids. It's like she only wants to eat when and where she wants. If we lay her down on the changing table, floor, sofa, etc. she will drink her bottle fine. But she is refusing to lay in our arms anymore.

Also, hitting us in the face while we are rocking her to soothe her before she goes to bed - both for naps and bedtime. I think she is just flailing around and trying to fight sleep, I don't think she is trying to knock us out!

RachelSoper said...

Getting out of bed
running away when called
The "No, these are mine!" attitude

29 month old

Kristy Powers said...

Getting out of bed in the early morning hours before wake-up time. Specifically, our DS will sometimes come out to sleep on the couch and I don't know this until I get up in the morning and see him. I'm excited to see the upcoming posts you've mentioned!

The Houks said...

As some other readers have commented, I am not sure if there are logical consequences for these behaviors but playfully hitting (not out of meanness because he giggles the whole time) and whining.

Maryea said...

Attention-seeking behaviors. Specifically, my 18-month-old puts her fingers in her throat and gags herself. I have tried pulling her hands out and saying a firm, "No." but she continues to do it. I have tried distracting her, but that hasn't worked well either. I tried ignoring her once (so as not to give her the attention she seems to enjoy) and she made herself throw up. That did not deter her, though. She doesn't do it all the time, only occasionally. It's always during mealtime. Any ideas?

Avary said...

-We have been working on this for months...he puts his hands into the dishwasher when I am loading or unloading; he loves spoons, but I provide many for him to play with...
-He has fits (1-2 per day) when he does not get what he wants, whether it is his sippy cup (off of his blanket; he sits to drink so that it does not spill everywhere, but more importantly at someone else's home.)
-Blanket Time-He completely understands, but does not sit to play with his toys.

Ultimately, I know that consistency is key and not being consistent stems from my own sinfulness, for me personally, my own laziness...

grace said...

my girl is 16months now. when i bring her to the supermarket, i allow her to walk by my side (sometimes) instead of the putting her in the trolley.

she would get engrossed and refuse to walk when i hold her hand. if i insist, she would sit down on the floor and even lie down. right in the middle of the supermarket!

what should i do??

Jenn said...

Hitting when angry, smearing food at the table, running away from mommy when outside or in a public place, getting out of bed to play with toys at bedtime...phew. The "terrible 2's" have hit in full force!! Can't wait for this post :)

Elizabeth in Charleston said...

Throwing tantrums in public.

Todd Kortus said...

2 yr. old touches something one more time after mom says "no" - every time!

winnie said...

whining!

Amber said...

My 4 year old rips pages in his books, touching things after they have been asked not to, and my barely 3 year old throws herself on the floor with crying.

Redheads said...

OMG have I had fun reading these! I have to smile, as I pictured all of these children doing naughty things! Not that it is a laughing matter, but I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER about my own DD's discipline issues. I thought for sure I was doing something wrong, but I see that we are all in the same boat! Can't wait for this post to come out and answer our questions!

Becca said...

23 month old... getting into closet during ind play

JennyAK said...

Redheads - me too!! Made me feel so much better reading all these posts after the night of temper tantrums I dealt with last night and this morning! I seriously thought I was a ToddlerWise failure! And to see all the posts about 14.5 month olds! Although I'm looking forward to Valerie's blog about this, reading the comments alone has made me feel so much better!!

So Valerie, ditto to everything that has been listed already!

Samuel said...

Hello. I'd like to address three behaviors for my 3 yo: taking toys away from younger brother, throwing tantrums in public, and saying no or being 'fresh' with adults. Any suggestions you could provide regarding disciple and consequences would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Kirsten said...

I'm having trouble with selfishness (5 year old) and drama (3 year old). My 5 year old also does whatever one of his friends tells him to do b/c he wants to still be their friend. This concerns me because he will be starting public Kindergarten in August.

Kristy Powers said...

Haha Redheads, exactly! :) All these very, very busy little ones and their poor, tired parents. I really chuckled about playfully hitting because my first instinct is to be mad about being slapped in the face, but the 10-month-old doesn't have that much arm control yet. ;)

Avary said...

15 month old-Refusal to eat food, do you continue serving it, as left overs for a day or so...ie: sausage...he will eat one day and refuse the next...

Ashley said...

I'd like to see something for throwing a fit almost everytime you lay him down on his changing table or floor. My son is 10 months old and has a fit when I lay him down to change his diaper or clothes. He tries to roll over squirm or just screams. I try distracting him with toys, songs, getting to hold a clean diaper or wipe, or just let him scream it out while I change him, but nothing works.

ys said...

Wow! A lot of posts, haha. I guess it's broken between the pretoddler/toddlers and preschooler. I don't want to say that the pretoddlers/toddlers are "easy" as I thought many times going through it it was challenging, but I find the 3 YO phase more challenging now! So I too would like to hear all about the older LO's as they do different things. Couple of current issues: getting out of bed when laying down for bedtime (naptime is fine as I say no snack after nap if getting up out of bed and that works like a charm....bedtime she treats this as a game. I've been doing the "silent return to bed with no eye contact" but she is saying, this fun mama!), saying "no" instead of "yes mama" even when I say "the only freedom you have to say is yes mama", not looking in the eyes when asking for eye contact, getting out of timeout (treating it like a game as well). So I think the 3 YO issues tends to be more verbal issues and issues in attitude.

Kristin said...

My 3.5 yo is driving us crazy... I know a lot is our fault (inconsistency and all), but I could really use your suggestions. I'm SO excited for this post!

Not going to timeout when told to... hitting me (or whoever is doing it) if I physically take him to timeout. Hitting the door/doorknob once I close his bedroom door for timeout. Screaming. Talking back. Saying, "Nokay Mommy" when I tell him to say "Okay Mommy" (I started this before I learned to have them say Yes Mommy, so this is our version of that). Arguing with us... example: we take his bedtime stories away if he doesn't behave well during the bedtime routine. We'll tell him, "You just lost a story." He yells, "No, no I didn't." We generally ignore him or just say yes you did, but that leads to more arguing. He argues ALL the time these days... it feels like a constant battle. I've tried telling him he doesn't have the freedom to talk like that and it's hit and miss. Thank you so much for doing this and good luck! :)

Kristin said...

Sorry... just a couple more. Continual hitting. For example: we're at a family function and he's getting in trouble over and over (hitting his cousins). We do timeout, but it continues. Any advice on getting it to stop at an event (like Easter), so we're not dying feeling like we have the worst 3yo of the family?

M and M said...

I have two actually, disobeying boundaries and being aggressive (biting, hitting, etc...)

Caroline said...

My 17.5 month old started banging his head on things about 2 months ago. The frequency increased DRAMATICALLY when he was getting two of his canine teeth. Now that those teeth are mainly in, the behavior has decreased a bit, but it's still present. He mainly does it when he's frustrated (I've been trying to get him to sign "help", but that's the one sign that he won't do!) If I put him in timeout for banging his head, then he just bangs his head on his crib (where he does timeout). At this point, he has bruises all over his forehead! :( Any suggestions? (I read your posts/suggestions on tantrums.) Can't wait to see your reply to all of these! (We're having quite a few of the issues other moms mentioned!)

Amber said...

4 year old making loud noises in the early morning before anyone else is awake.

Emily said...

i have a 13 month old who just randomly bursts out crying and seems to act "spoiled" although he's a 100% babywise baby! he's very winey and daddy thinks we should say "no sir" whenever he does the winey/crying/tantrum act but I don't feel that it's a logical consequence as I feel he SHOULD express his feelings. I'd love some tips on that!

Miller time said...

It looks like I should of commented on this post instead. count me in on this one. please help me!!!
Daegen needs help with tiny tantrums, he hits me and Brock and head butts us both. I get it more because I'm with him all day. He also will sign and say nana for a banana and I'll give it to him and once I peel it he doesn't want it any more. He is also always wanting an apple but its more like a toy to him and he will bite on it for awhile but once I cut it he doesn't want it any more. Also I'm seeing that this is some what my fault becasue I'm thinking that he is to small to discipline and tell him no. at what age do you redirect behavior and how? So if you have any reading lists of books for behavior correction that would be good also. Thanks val .
Amy

Mario & Nicole said...

I would like to know tips on what to do about my 17.5 month old running away from mommy or daddy in public. He is in a stroller or a cart most of the time because when we let him walk he runs away and will not come back. He has very "selective listening" and will just ignore our requests to come back. Also, if he is more interested in playing or exploring, he will refuse to eat (by spitting out food, throwing it on the floor, and mostly crying uncontrollably). Therefore some nights he actually goes without dinner (and doesn't seem to care). Timeout works for most things, but I don't really want to use timeout in response to eating dinner. Can't wait to see your post!!

Plowmanators said...

Hey all! Thanks for the feedback! I will address all of these in the post!

Plowmanators said...

Shipe's, yes, I think I would turn his head. 14 months is a testing age, so just stick with it and do your best to maintain patience :)

Plowmanators said...

Mama (Amy), Do you model the behavior you are asking for? I would wonder if she really understands what you are telling her. Repeating wouldn't be the same as understanding.

Be sure to see the blog index, then the discipline index for lots of ideas.

For the potty training, it is possible that she has grown and her bladder has not caught up. This is typical. If it were me, I would tell her she needs to wear a diaper at night now since she can't make it until morning time. Another option would be to put a little potty chair in her room and tell her she can use it in the night if needed.

For the door, I think I would just tell her we need to have the door shut when we sleep and do it.

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