After my baby was born, I had pregnancy-induced heart failure. Needless to say we started BW late, about 4 weeks old, once everything settled back down and I recovered. She took to it right away. It really couldn’t have been easier for us. She was an Angel Baby through and through. She slept through the night at 8 weeks, up to 12 hours before I had to go back to work. Everyone told me I was lucky- just like the book said. I recommended it to every one. I thought she was the only one I would get and I loved that I proved to myself that I could totally rock it as a mom. Plus, I was able to quit after a few months and be with her all the time. Life was good.
Almost 4 years later we had our second child. It was a surprise- the Lord really wanted me to have him as I was on birth control and had been advised not to have another one by all heart doctors I had seen. My heart failed again- not as bad as the first time, but still ended up in the ER a few days after my c-section. Returning home, we found out we had to move earlier than expected and the new house wasn’t ready. So with a newborn, and an almost 4 year old, we spent the first two months of my son’s life living at my husband’s grandmother’s house. I slept on the couch with the cradle next to me, as there weren’t enough bedrooms for all of us. Add in post partum depression- it was a lot to deal with and one of the harder trails of my life.
I tried BW from day one- just knowing (and foolishly expecting) everything to be just has easy as it was the first time around. It wasn’t. Oh Boy- was it not as easy the second time around! But I kept at it. I prayed, I cried, I wondered what was wrong with me. Why couldn’t I help him like I did his sister? My best friend didn’t believe in BW or having routines, my mom was 2 states away, my husband- who had praised me and bragged to everyone that I was so good with babies and supported BW and other Wise books, began to doubt that I could get BW to work with our son. I felt like I had no support and felt very alone at times. I found Val's website and I read it everyday. It really helped just to feel like I had a support group even if I didn't actually know anyone there. My oldest became my cheerleader, encouraging her brother to quote “eat, play sleep, like I did. Now I’m a genius. So just listen to mom” A Great helper!
He was so different than his sister. He had a hard time eating- we had to change formula (I wasn’t able to BF due to the heart failure), we changed bottles, nipples, he cried, he spit up, he cried and cried. I thought he would never be happy- but finally it all began to click. We moved into the new house and he settled down. I kept doing BW and praying that his awesome spirit and personality would flourish and he would adjust to the routine. He is 10 months old now and the happiest little baby. He’s not clockwork like his sister was, but we have found our groove and I am more proud of this go round than the first. I did it- even when life was crazy hard- when I was sick and broken down - I was still able to do the best for my child.
I love BW; it makes since to me, I know how much it can help the baby to have that routine and to know what to expect through out the day. I’ve watched both of my children grow and really shine.
I learned a lot the last time around- I learned that I could trouble shoot- I never really had to with the first and if I did- I didn’t remember anything I did let alone if it worked! I learned that it’s ok if it doesn’t happen like the book says or like it did with their sibling. I learned that it wasn’t me, it wasn’t the baby, it wasn’t BW not working- it was just a trial in life that I went through the same time I had a baby. I learned that no matter what life throws your way that you can still try to make your home life what you want it to be.
I hope that if there is anyone struggling that you keep trying. Keep adjusting! And working with your baby so that you can find what works. I also hope each and every one of you gets to experience and Angle Baby somewhere in the mix- it’s good for your heart- trust me!"
- L. Jones
Arizona Mom of 2:
o 4 ½ year old girl
o 10 month old boy