Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Poll Discussion: Age Gap Between Children

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No matter how much you research it, you will never find the perfect, one right answer. The reason? There are too many variables and too many life experiences to draw from. What worked well for one family may have been hard for another. Every age spacing has its perks and its difficulties. 

Despite that, we humans want to know. We want to ask around and be told what is best. I maintain there isn't a best, but I do think it can be wise to gather experiences from other so you can see what seems to fit you best. 

Please take a moment to fill this poll out on the topic of age spacing. Share your experience with honesty and realism. It is very helpful for me when compiling answers if you at least number the answers you give. You can also copy the questions and answer them. If the question does not apply to you, simply put "N/A."

1. What is the age spacing between your children? (if you have more than two children, you can list the various age gaps).

2. What are the perks, or pros,  of each age gap? (if you listed more than one, please list the perks with the age gap listed. For example, "18 month gap: Perks are...")

3. What are the drawbacks, or cons, of each age gap? (if you listed more than one, please list the perks with the age gap listed. For example, "24 month gap: Cons are...")

4. Knowing what you know now, what do you imagine the perfect age gap might be (if you were able to have it just how you wanted)?

5. Any comments you want to share?

3 comments:

Joy said...

1. What is the age spacing between your children? (if you have more than two children, you can list the various age gaps).
12 months and 18 days
The gap would have been greater, but my daughter was born 6 weeks early.

2. What are the perks, or pros, of each age gap? (if you listed more than one, please list the perks with the age gap listed. For example, "18 month gap: Perks are...")
Perks: they play with the same toys now (almost 3 years old and almost 2 years old), they take an afternoon nap at the same time, and they will never remember a time without each other :)

3. What are the drawbacks, or cons, of each age gap? (if you listed more than one, please list the perks with the age gap listed. For example, "24 month gap: Cons are...")
Cons: nursing and taking care of a newborn was a little tricky with a one year old. I really cracked down on our routine so that there were very few times my one year old was free to roam around (room time, blanket time, naps all helped keep him occupied). I've also found myself giving my littlest one more freedoms than I should be, and I have to remind myself that a year difference is still a difference. I need to remember that she is not where my oldest is developmentally and should not be allowed to do some of the same things.

4. Knowing what you know now, what do you imagine the perfect age gap might be (if you were able to have it just how you wanted)?
I love this age gap. The first year was difficult. The second year has been easier. I wasn't planning to have near-Irish twins, but I wouldn't change it. My oldest has learned about sharing and loving someone other than his mommy and daddy at a very young age, and he's very sweet with her.

5. Any comments you want to share?

Emily and Ian said...

1. What is the age spacing between your children? 20 months

2. What are the perks, or pros, of each age gap? Similar interests because they are not too far apart; they often play with the same toys; interested in the same events (ie zoo, childrens museum, etc); similar schedules (both still have naps); older one doesn't remember (or miss) a time without his brother; good for them both to have to share mommy & daddy and learn to play with someone their age

3. What are the drawbacks, or cons, of each age gap? two in diapers for a while (unless you train early); two toddlers at the same time which can be tiring!; lots of conflict cause they want the same things and neither has the maturity to walk away from it

4. Knowing what you know now, what do you imagine the perfect age gap might be (if you were able to have it just how you wanted)? This is how I wanted it. :)

5. Any comments you want to share? I've heard this from other moms with kids "close" together also - it's tiring now, but I enjoy having them in the same stages together; and also I didn't want to spread out the baby years so long that we never get out of them. I look forward to someday having more freedoms with all of us together, and not being stuck in the nap/diaper phase for too long.

John said...

1. 15 months apart
2. Pros - they have the same interests, enjoy the same outside activities and places to go, and can do most things together at home. Also naps and bedtimes, mealtimes are the same, and their daily routine is similar. No dropping off older brothers or sisters or disruptions. Teaching morals and right behaviour is similar and consequences are similar too.
3. Cons - I have a hard time when pregnant and becoming pregnant so soon after giving birth was tough. My oldest was 7 months when I was pregnant with my second. (However in hindsight I am glad I became pregnant when I did because running after a two year old and pregnant I think would be much worse.
4. I did not plan for this age gap but looking back it has been a real blesssing for our family having them close together. I would do the same again.

Jerusha

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