BFBN Week: Be A Little Selfish {Guest Spotlight}

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It’s Babywise Friendly Blogs Network Week again! All week, we’ll be featuring blog posts from other Babywise-friendly blogs. The schedule is as follows:


Today’s post is from Maureen over at In it, Maureen talks about the importance of having your own hobbies and not centering your life and on your child. She says:

Our children need us to not build our lives around them. The oft-uttered phrase in Ezzo circles is “the child is a welcome member of the family, but not the center of it.” To avoid raising selfish children, we need to be a little selfish ourselves. Our kids need to see that we have lives that don’t include our kids. We weren’t born to wipe noses, pick up toys, and taxi our children around town. We stand on our own two feet and don’t need our children to fulfill us — or at least that’s how it should be.

I remember watching a Dr. Phil show before Brayden was born (is that show even on still?). On it, Robin (his wife) talked about her own mother and how she never took time for herself and Robin was convinced it led her to running herself ragged. (I think even that she died prematurely? If I remember right?). Anyway, she talked about drawing from an empty well. You know how on flights you have to help yourself before you can help your child? Same idea.

I have seen moms who put all of their focus on their kids and what happens to them when the kids move out. Believe me, it isn’t pretty. It isn’t pleasant for mom or kids. As my mom told me the first day I brought Brayden home from the hospital, “Keep in mind that you are raising him to leave you some day.” That means we teach them independence and it means we have some independence ourselves!

So head on over to Maureen’s post today to see what her full thoughts are on the topic.

What do you do to keep in touch with yourself?





Valerie, also known as The Babywise Mom, is the mother to four children. She has been blogging on Babywise and general parenting since 2007. She has a degree in technical writing and loves using those skills to help parents be the best parents they can be! Read her book, The Babywise Mom Nap Guide, to get help on sleep from birth through the preschool years. You can also find her writing at, Today Parenting, and Her View From Home. Read more about Valerie and her family on the About page. Follow her on FacebookPinterest, and Instagram for more tips and helps.

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