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Many parents read several parenting books in their quest for finding the best solutions to their parenting problems. This is a great idea; knowledge is power. You must, however, use prudence when reading books that contain parenting philosophies that differ from Babywise principles if you are expecting to get Babywise results.
You are the parent and you are in charge of your family. You ultimately decide what you do. I personally take my religious beliefs and Babywise principles and therein lies my parenting philosophy. I read many books and articles about general childcare, but I haven’t read The Baby Whisperer or Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child or anything like that (though I do plan to so that I can better help those who are trying to use more than one book to parent).
I have a good friend who read several books and took from each what she wanted, combined that with her religious beliefs, and basically created her own philosophy. That is certainly an option for you. She does this with wisdom. She understands that without doing one program 100%, you can’t realistically expect to achieve 100% of the benefits promised.
If you are reading different books, you have to realize that they are different. The theories are different. You need to decide your method of implementation. You can pick the one you like best and stick to that, adding in things from other books that are harmonious to what you are doing. You could also try to form your own theory from everything you have read.
If you want to follow Babywise, you can of course still read other books. Like I said, take what is harmonious to Babywise and leave the rest. Or you can lean on a different book more and apply Babywise principles when harmonious to that.
Whatever you do, keep in mind, as my friend does, that you can’t expect results that you haven’t put the work into. Decide what is best for your family and go from there. Some babies are easier than others. Some would put themselves on a schedule and are born knowing how to put themselves to sleep. Others require a lot of work to get there. Others fall somewhere in between. Some moms are better at reading their babies than others (but it is a skill you can develop).
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- Dana said…
I just wanted to give a book suggestion for mom’s of boys. I follow the GKGW books very closely, but felt I needed to understand my little boy a bit better. I’ve begun reading “Bringing up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson. I like what I’ve read so far, and it is even helping me understand my husband better. 🙂
April 7, 2008 2:41 PM
Dana,Thanks! I will have to add that to my list of books to read. I have heard other people recommend that book.
April 7, 2008 9:48 PM
- jahanschen said…
I totally agree! You do need to formulate your parenting philosphy and stick to it. Nothing works without consistency :)As a well-informed mommy (because that’s my only job right now!), I read not only what I agree with, but also keep up to date with philosophies I don’t support because I want to be able to discuss issues pertaining to “my job” intelligently. It really helps when I have friends switching to Babywise from other methods/group (i.e. AP/LLL), or people who don’t understand the differences in the plethora of philosophies out there. I think of it kind of like researching your political candidate before voting day or studying the strategy of the opposing army (not to be too melodramatic!).My MIL loves “Bringing up Boys” also. That’s the next on our “to-read” list.
April 7, 2008 4:46 PM
- dani said…
I personally found Ferber’s book on sleeping to be a good complement to Babywise; it gave detailed methods to do CIO for nighttime and naps.We also read Baby Whisperer and tried her techniques for extending 45-min naps. We tried for over a month and the naps got worse and worse so we stopped and went (eventually) to CIO, as recommended by BW. But I think there is something of value in a lot of the books, as long as you don’t mind ignoring the parts you disagree with.
April 7, 2008 5:55 PM
Thanks Dani! It is good to know what books have helped others.
April 7, 2008 9:51 PM
- LHS Class of 1998 said…
Val, When you do get around (in all your spare time;-) ) to reading those books, I would love to see you write a post on your thoughts from a BW perspective.Thanks again for this awesome blog (I know I speak for many other BW mommies!)Megan:-)
April 13, 2008 8:00 PM
I will for sure Megan 🙂
April 14, 2008 1:55 PM