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- elle said…
i went out last weekend wif my girlfriends. each of us bringing our chlid. my daughter is 14 months old and is a very active child. she cudnt even sit still, not for one seconds. since we were having drinks, i put her in her high chair and she started making noises wanting to go down. there she were climbing and walking aroud wif me eyeeing her. somehow my friend commented and it sounds like my child is not well behaved since she is roaming around compared to her son who is 2 yrs old and another one 15 months who is happily playing wif the toys and sitting on the high chair. well, i though eahc child is different. since mine is only 14 month old and she has just start walking, i dont think that just because of her roaming around and cudnt keep still on the high chair, that was considered as not behaved. any comments?
Elle, This is hard to say. In many ways it is normal, especially for a new walker. All new walkers want to do is walk. Either way, walking around in a restaurant is not something I would allow long-term. This may have been a situation where it was an exception to do this. My son was also very active as a baby (and still is). I wouldn’t ever let him get down in a restaurant no matter how much he wanted to. Now at 3, he never asks. So just remember that what you do now teaches him what he can do later in life, and while a 14 month old might be cute to other patrons, a wandering three year old will not quite draw the same reaction.
so what do i do if i put my 15 months old on the high chair, n yet after a few minutes she gets bored and cries because she wanna goes down and walked around? suhd i just let her cry or put her down? i usually give her food to enjoy while we eat or sometimes toys for her to play wif but later i found out she just love throwing the toys and seeing me pick it up. im a first time mother and i believe i have yet, lots more to learn.thanx.
This would be something I would practice at home, not the restaurant. You have to remember others; you don’t want to ruin their restaurant experience to train your daughter. Work with her at home. Put her in the high chair with food. At this age, she should be eating with the family for most meals (maybe not dinner if you eat “late”). Give her finger foods. Once she is done with that, give her toys and books to play with. Rotate them. Don’t play the pick up a million times game with her. Have practice sessions with her in the high chair where she has to sit for X number of minutes. Start with 5 and set a time. Give her the food or toys. She can get out only when the timer goes off, not with the amount of crying she does. It will take some time and practice, but you can get her there. Good luck!
- ProudMum said…
Whenever u discussed about discipline and tantrums and obedience, u never mention of punsishment. Does babywise says that not to punsih at all ?
July 25, 2008 10:33 AM
Proudmum,Your baby is too young for punishment. There are “punishments” mentioned in Babywise, but they are in the forms of removing baby from the situation, for older babies some isolation, etc. Most discipline as younger ages are really redirection. But at 5 months your baby is not in need of any punishment. Just direction.
July 28, 2008 11:31 AM
Hello Val, Ofcourse five months is not for punishment. I was just asking in general that how Babywise or toddlerwise philosophy deals with punishments.
July 29, 2008 3:22 AM
Proudmum, Always good to look to the future. There are several posts on this blog about discipline. If you go to the blog index and look under discipline, you will see several posts that discuss babywise, toddlerwise, and childwise strategies.
July 30, 2008 3:12 PM
- Stephanie said…
I have a question (unrelated to the post). I’m trying to do “training” times in the morning after breakfast, but need some ideas on how to “work on” self control, sitting, first-time obedience. I’m using grapes as a reward for sitting with hands folded, but we can’t seem to break past the 20 second mark without him telling me he’s all done or melting into tantrums. We push forward, but it seems to go downhill after a couple of 20 second sitting times. He’s 21 months old. Can I get some ideas on how you train your kids? On what? How?
Stephanie,There are many posts on discipline in the blog index, here are some that might be of interest to you: BW II: Freedoms: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/babywise-ii-freedoms.html
Discipline Strategy: Surrender with Dignity : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/discipline-strategy-surrender-with.html
Hand Folding: Establishing Self-Control: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/hand-folding-establishing-self-control.html
Teaching Your Baby “No”: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/teaching-your-baby-no.html
The Choice Addiction (for Toddlers) : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/choice-addiction-for-toddlers.html
I would try the “yes Mommy” requirement. Read those posts I listed, and be sure to let me know of further questions you have. Those base-posts will help us to narrow down the question field. I will do a post on the “yes Mommy” idea [NOTE: see “Yes Mom” ].
- susie said…
I am also struggling with my 8.5 month old with self control and entertaining herself. Any suggestions?Thanks
Susie, In addition to the posts I listed for Stephanie, I would recommend these: Independent Playtime: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/independent-playtime.html
Independent Playtime Lengths : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/independent-playtime-lengths.html
At 8.5 months, your baby is definitely old enough to work with, but be sure to take note of the percentages of expected obedience listed in the posts I listed. You baby is just learning and will likely have many times of lack of obedience. Continue to work, but be aware that a certain amount of lack of obedience is normal for the age and not a sign that things aren’t working.
- Christie said…
my daughter is now 14 months and for the past month she has not been listening as well, when I lay her down for a nap she screams and when I pick her up she stops, and she now hates playpen time,something she used to love. I love Babywise and up until now she has been like clockwork with the program. Now that she is walking, should I move to roomtime instead of playpen time? Her naps have been short to none at all for the past month. Thanks for your advice!!
September 11, 2008 11:34 AM
Christie, I would do roomtime now. Also, go to the blog index and look through posts under “Discipline” and “Naps” and “Sleep Problems.”
September 15, 2008 6:48 PM
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