Monday, June 30, 2008

Daycare/Childcare and Babywise

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There are many moms out there who, for a variety of reasons, need childcare. As I do not have experience in this situation, I again turned to friends for their advice for moms using daycare and babywise. Here are their thoughts:

BaumShelter said:

Thankfully my daycare provider is a Babywise mom herself . . . she's actually the one that gave me the book! I've even found her to be a great resource when it comes to troubleshooting. In the beginning I tended to be somewhat strict with my schedule (when she is more of a relaxed personality) and she was very respectful of my wishes. I just wrote out a detailed description of McKenna's schedule, talked to her before and after I dropped her off or picked her up, and even asked her to keep me a log for a while of my daughter's waketimes, naps, amount eaten at a feeding, etc... I know that not everyone will be in this same situation of having someone so familiar with the principles, but I WOULD hope that each person's daycare provider would be respectful of that woman's wishes . . . especially since they're probably getting paid pretty good. A few weeks ago when my mother-in-law came to visit I asked her to read the Babywise book so she would understand our philosophy, routine, etc... Thankfully she did so willingly. Perhaps that is something that some moms using daycare could do--provide the person watching their child(ren) with a copy of the book and set up a time to talk with them about how consistency is a vital key in them having a happy baby to watch! What can beat that?! I hope this information has been a least somewhat helpful.

A Friend said:

I can't speak to the daycare centers, but I can share my experience with my nanny. First off though, if your daycare provider seems to have a strong parenting opinion against BW, you should obviously find someone else. Ask if they have heard of or read BW in the interview process. Also ask how they feel about CIO. Try to feel them out.

My nanny is 25 and doesn't have any kids of her own and hasn't heard of BW. Nor has she heard of attachment parenting. She didn't have an opinion of either, which was good. Fresh slate. She COMPLETELY respected my wishes. I posted our schedule in the kitchen and gave her an overview of the basics. After a while, she would help me troubleshoot. It was great to have her as a sounding board since my DH was away. She became a great friend. She also didn't have any issues with CIO. In fact, for a couple of our training sessions (rolling over, swaddle weaning), she did the first 1-2 CIO sessions, which was great. She had an easier time listening to it than I did.
On top of all of this, my nanny was also caring for my older DS. She cooked healthy meals (for me too!), cleaned and even did my laundry! She charged $12/hr. for the two kids. I use past tense because she's currently looking for a full-time job. I only had her come 1-2 days a week and she needs health insurance. We are both very sad about it and are having a harder time emotionally than we thought we would. That is THE ULTIMATE in a childcare provider. Not only do you want them to follow your instructions, but you want them to become attached to your child and begin to love them! I'm going to start crying here!

Spencemom said:

We have a nanny for our son, and it is working out fabulous. She is 26 with one daughter. She did not use BW, but after being with us for 4 months, she is asking me for tips on sleep and eat patterns:) She fully respects our schedule, and she'll email me during the day is something is "off" to get my opinion. I'm never nervous DS with miss nap time or get off his normal routine. The one downside is she is $13.50 an hour which for a few days a week is much more costly than daycare. However for our schedule (and less illness), my DH and I think it is WELL WORTH IT!

Bethany said:

I'm still having issues with terrible naps, but my best advice is communication. We are currently using a daycare center. Every morning we write down his feeding times and nap times on his daily report that they are required to fill out by the state. I've also typed up a sheet with his schedule and other tips that stays on his clipboard. Now, it is extremely rare for him not to be fed on time.

They haven't quite figured out how to please me with his naps :) Sometimes they forget it's his naptime or don't think he's tired. Again, communication has really helped so that now they know to leave him in his crib when he wakes early and to always put him down even if they don't think he's tired. Every single teacher has commented on his happy disposition. He's the most well-rested infant in there.

I still have lots of gripes and most days his naps are all over the place. Constant communication is the only thing that has made a difference. I wish I could require the directors and teachers to read BW. Most moms in the room are AP, though.

Dana said:

I don't know if this will help, but I used to be a nanny and I have also worked in a daycare center. My children have not been in childcare, so I can't speak to actual experience with babywise babies/children.

As a freshman in college I worked as a "teacher" in the 1yo classroom of a daycare center. The ratio of 1yo/teacher was 7/1. They had one naptime per day, no cribs. They were expected to lay on mats and sleep for 1-2 hours. Most were so tired they crashed for at least an hour. When you have 14 1yo's and 2 teachers it is very difficult to keep the ones that wake corralled, doing quiet activities and let the others sleep. Naptime was also when teachers took their lunch breaks. Leaving one teacher to handle those that woke early.

I was often found in the baby room during my breaks. (Despite the new rule that any one not hired to be in there was required to stay out.) The ladies in that room often peaked their heads into our room to ask me to come over and help on my break. (I did not know anything about babywise at this point.) The ratio in that room was 4 babies to 1 adult. Which meant there were 8 babies a day in the room with 2 adults to care for them. The cribs were in the same room. Lights were on all day, with only one set naptime where the lights were turned off. Most babies were overstimulated, tired and cranky unless being held.

I was a nanny for a boy of an AP mom from the time he was 15mo to 3.5 yrs. (I found out I was pregnant with my first baby 2 wks after I started. I didn't take the Prep for Parenting/babywise class until 2 wks before my son was born.) Even though I hadn't read babywise, I quickly tired of the routine the old nanny had of rocking the little boy to sleep for his naps. I started to let him CIO about a month after I started. I sat right next to the door, b/c the mom worked from home, so I wanted her to see that I was really listening and paying attention to what was happening. My son came to work with me from the time he was 6wks on. The mom was always amazed at how well Kyle slept, how happy he was and how well he ate. By the time I left, she still couldn't figure out how I got her son to behave so well, when she couldn't, and why Kyle was such a happy, good little boy. (I shared my thoughts with her many times, but I don't think she listened.)

After doing both these jobs, I feel the best environment for any baby, but especially a babywise baby is with a nanny or an in-home daycare. With a nanny, they are in the familiarity of your home, making the routine easier. At an in-home daycare the ratios are much better. They can only have 1 or 2 babies in the home depending on how many children are there. This would make it easier for the caregiver to follow your schedule.
I hope this info is helpful in some way.

As a nanny, the mom I worked for was able to do a background check on me and I believe was able to check my driving record through the company she hired me through. Since she knew my driving record and felt safe with the car I drove, she had me take her son to classes. I took him to Kindermusik, baby swimming classes as well as a toddler play group. Those ended once I had my son, but with the two of them we often went to parks and indoor play areas. So those moms concerned about socialization have that option with a nanny as well.

My Advice
I appreciate the advice of each of these women. If you have advice and tips to share, please add them. Here are some of my own thoughts on the situation. I haven't ever had my kids in childcare/daycare, but I have worked in a daycare. Here are my thoughts based on what I do know:

  • I completely agree with Dana when she says that the best environment for a baby is at home with a Nanny or other provider. After working in a daycare, I would never send my children to a daycare. I am sure there are some great daycares out there. I also know some parents don't have much of a choice. But if you do, I would look in to a nanny or an in-home daycare.
  • Know there will be some disruptions with naps and feedings. Hopefully you can find a person or place who will work to comply with your schedule. I think one reason a nanny is preferable to a daycare is that a nanny can do what you want her to, whereas a daycare has a lot of babies and children to care for and needs to create a schedule of their own. It would be hard to have 8 different schedules for the 8 different kids. Even 8 Babywise babies will have different schedules somewhat.
  • Do certain things at home. If you are in daycare, that isn't going to be the best place to have them do independent playtime. I would do that at home, which I can see as being difficult because you will want to spend all the time you can with them. But you could have your child do independent playtime while you make dinner. If you have a Nanny, you can certainly have her do independent playtime with your child during the day. You could likely also request this if you take your child to a home for childcare.
  • Try to find a person/place who can comply with your schedule. Some daycares can and will comply to your schedule.
  • Always go with your "gut." Pray about the situation if you are a praying person. Be in-tune with your child to be sure the current option is the best one for him.
Related Posts:
Reader Advice:
  • Susan and Ethan Peterson said...
    I have my 6 1/2 month daughter in an in home daycare. Although we have had to make some adjustments to BW her sitter has done a great job following my wishes, and has really helped me to keep Haley on a schedule. She feeds her when and how I ask her to, and we talk every day about what she did and didn't do. It was an adjusment for her at first, but now she tells all new moms that she knows to go get babywise. I have truly been blessed!
    July 8, 2008 7:45 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Susan, Thanks for your thoughts! It sounds like you have a good setup there.
    July 9, 2008 11:05 AM
  • G-Man's Mama said...
    Just wanted to include my experience with a daycare center and babywise. Our son started daycare 3 weeks ago. He is 4 mo. and I have been consistent, constant and insistent (he was previously watched by his G'ma's and my aunt) about his schedule before he started. He is pretty well established in his schedule. Anyway, the daycare center we take our son to requires that the caregivers have read the babywise book, which helps a little. They have his schedule w/ tips & babywise princpals posted in the classroom and they are pretty awesome about sticking to it. They even succeed in getting him to take a fourth nap, something I am unable to do. This daycare is one of the best in the area and we feel like they really listen to us and are very compliant with our wishes. I hope anyone who chooses a daycare center finds the same wonderful experience we have.
    September 23, 2008 4:03 PM
Reader Questions:
  • Nicole Flowers said...
    I am sleep training right now -- putting him down in his crib every time he seems sleepy throughout the day/night after each waketime. But he starts daycare part time (every afternoon M-F) in about a week. Clearly I won't have the same control with that. Should I continue doing what I'm doing in the daytime to sleep train? BTW, my baby is 2 months old.
    August 28, 2008 3:08 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Nicole, I would do what they are going to do at daycare. If they are going to CIO, I would definitely do that so you can try to learn his patterns and give them some clues.
    September 2, 2008 10:21 PM


sarahjane05 said...

my son is 8wks and still CIO through all naps...most of the time until his next feeding. I have been doing CIO since week 2 but only for one week have I let him CIO without intervening with a pacifier after 30 minutes. My question is at 12 weeks I will go back to work and he will be going to a in-home daycare 2 days a week, if he is still continues to cry through most naps how will this work at daycare with other children taking naps! How do we stay consistent?

Plowmanators said...

hmm...that is probably a question to ask the daycare. My guess is that they will not do CIO there. For more CIO help, be sure to see the CIO blog label and also check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child."

Excerpts from My Soul said...

Hello! I have my second baby and she is 4 1/2 weeks old. Right now, it looks like she and I will be going back to work when she is 5 1/2 weeks old. I, luckily, get to work at the daycare she goes to as a Preschool teacher (perks of the Early Elementary Degree). It has been great being able to read these comments since I wasn't sure how BW was going to work out with being in a daycare. I know the ins and outs of daycare and unfortunately, the ratios, I believe, are STILL too high for adult to baby. I do, though, now have hope that my baby will still be successful on her schedule. I am definitely adamant about the schedule and other things like food and such and am not afraid to make my opinion known to the childcare provider. That's a piece of advice I would give to anyone. If you don't feel comfortable expressing your wishes and seeing them followed through explicitly, then you need to find a different caregiver for your child :)


I am in a bit of a tricky situation.

I want to send my child to a 'te kohanga reo' a Maori language nursery/ daycare ( we live in New Zealand )

I do not speak Maori fluently however I really want my son to ( and to learn more about the culture )

At the moment he is 5 1/2 months, sleeping 12 1/2 - 13 hrs at night and taking 2 naps that last 2 hours each ( sometimes a catnap before bed ) - basically he is a textbook babywise baby,

He will be attending kohanga two days a week from 9am until 3pm.

At kohanga, eating with the whanua ( family ) is of high importance as are prayers. Unfortunately both prayers and main meal times are at his nap times.

I also worry about CIO and his routine, after being the for a day with him I realised that the caregivers do not put much effort into getting the babies to sleep and none that I can see follow the eat/play/sleep method.

How would you balance believing in your child's need to learn about culture and another language with maintaining a routine.

I do have the option of picking him up early / dropping him off late and I can also stay and help out too ( SAHM )

My main reasons for day care are my chronic illness which makes me very very tired and weak and the need for him to learn Maori.

Any advice much appreciated

Jessica Maxwell said...

HELP!! I am a Daycare provider of a non Babywise child- rocked to sleep, nursed to sleep, co-sleeps, isn't expected to have a full nap. He expects to be touched all day. I don't know what to do with him, he won't nap without me touching him!!!!!!!???????? ugh, I can't get anything done.


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