Well, some babies come into this world and give their mothers that idealistic experience, but not my first baby! And not even most babies. Real life meant my baby slept like a baby...but the real way a baby sleeps like a baby when he has no guidance--not the sweet phrase way people imagine. He slept while I fed him. We had nights he didn't sleep a single minute all night long, which meant I didn't either. While I loved being a mom, I wondered why we had done this to ourselves already. Things had been so nice before a baby! I had slept. Life was drastically different and I missed sleep and freedom. I missed me. I had imagined having a large family, but now wasn't sure I would have a second child.

Fortunately I remembered a friend from church telling me about Babywise while I was pregnant. I had asked her how she had such a great baby. The answer was On Becoming Babywise (affiliate link). I had politely nodded at the time. That sure sounded nice, but it sounded like work and seemed silly since babies slept like babies anyway. Hadn't she ever played dolls? I didn't pay it much heed and forgot about it. 

In my hour of need, I remembered the term of Babywise and headed for the bookstore (that is how we got books 14 years ago). My baby was only 3 weeks old but it felt like significantly longer than that since I had slept. Time crawls when you are up for most of it.

I read the entire book that night. I put things into practice right away. 

And things got better. 

So much better.

Brayden started sleeping. Actually sleeping! He immediately went to waking only once each night. Things weren't "by the book" perfect immediately--that didn't even happen until he was six months old--but they were significantly better. 

When Brayden was six months old, I found out I was pregnant with baby number two. This was surprising and seemed a bit scary, but I said it was something you either laugh or cry about and laughing seemed much happier. Now, if it had not been for Babywise, I am sure that would have been a cry moment instead. Because Babywise was a part of our lives, we were nervously excited rather than crying.

We sadly lost that boy to stillbirth. I can't tell you how happy I am that I was able to be excited for his addition rather than sad. I would have had immense guilt otherwise. It is another small and simple way Babywise saved my motherhood. It saved it for that sweet boy I lost.

We immediately decided to try to have another child and expand our family. We had 3 more daughters over the years.

Our next baby had silent reflux. Oh the reflux babies! They are so very hard. Again, Babywise saved my motherhood. While my reflux baby didn't sleep as well as the non-reflux baby, she slept incredibly well for a reflux baby. I was able to take care of my two sweet children as a fully-rested mother of two. I was also willing to have a third child.

Baby three was finally that easy baby I had dreamed of. Amazing sleeper. She would sleep anywhere any time. Now, this is in large part thanks to me having a great understanding and grasp of Babywise, but she definitely was a natural when it came to sleep.

As she got older and her personality emerged, it became clear she was a strong-willed soul. It again was a moment Babywise saved my motherhood. She was hard. But I had great foundations for discipline to get me through those hard moments. I knew what to expect and that it was okay to expect it. We made it through and have been able to help focus on the positives of being strong-willed and use it as the great strength it can be.

Baby four was another easy sleeper. As a mom of four, I was able to give her the sleep she needed and still let my older three children have lives and be involved in things. I had predictability and was able to arrange schedules and manage the family so things were as smooth as can be with four children to manage. 

I am not being dramatic when I say Babywise saved my motherhood. 

Babywise made it possible for me to sleep. I think that right there is enough evidence to say, "yep, motherhood saved," but let's go on. 

Babywise gave me time each day when naps happened. With that time, I was able to sew, clean, cook, prepare learning activities, visit with people, and do things like blog. 

Babywise gave me time each day when independent playtime happened. I was able to do everything listed above and then some. This was an extra break each day. I was able to read. Shower, Exercise. Brush my teeth. 

Babywise gave me predictability and order to my days. This added to my sanity and moral. The predictability allowed me to arrange playdates with friends, which kept me socializing. As an extrovert, that was invaluable to my happiness. 

Babywise allowed me to focus on things beyond my child's sleep. It allowed me to focus on teaching my kids respobisilities. I was able to work chores into our days. I was able to teach morals and character traits. When I had a baby, I still had time to focus on the older children. I was even able to consistently write this blog. 

All of the things I was able to focus on when my children were young has paid off as they have gotten older. The time we spent doing learning time has made it so school has been easier, meaning less homework at home and no issues with school. The responsibilities they learned have helped them to have personal responsibility now and not expect me to track and organize their school work. My oldest has his first job and completely tracks where he should be when without me having to think about it. 

Because of On Becoming Babywise and the books beyond, I have been able to have the large family I wanted and still be involved in my children's lives. It allowed  me to be the mother I always wanted to be. Sure, it is still harder than it was when I played dolls, but manageable enough to be what I had always dreamed of and then some.

Get your copy of Babywise here (affiliate link)

Related Babywise Posts on Chronicles of a Babywise Mom: 

• The Gist of Babywise
• Myths versus Realities of Babywise
• How The Babywise Mom Discovered Babywise

Related Babywise Posts on Other Blogs:

Despite this concern over summer setback, we are conflicted as parents. We have this opposite pull that makes us want to have a relaxed summer. We want to give our children a break and give them the chance to worry about nothing but being kids for the summer. We want a more relaxed schedule and a shorter to-do list. I know that as my children have gotten older, I have wanted summers to be less and less structured. However, that doesn't mean I want my children falling behind themselves over the summer. 

So how do you balance that desire for relaxation and the need for maintaining academic abilities?

How to Fit in Academics in the Summer and Avoid Summer Setback

You can do some academics each day without turning each and every day into just another school day. One thing you can do is simple math facts and/or math worksheets. Math fact pages can be found all over the internet. Doing a short sheet of addition problems, multiplication problems, or division problems can be done in 10 minutes or less. It can a be a post-breakfast or post-lunch activity. Doing this daily (or as close to daily as possible) can significantly help your child to be on top of math when school resumes in the fall. You can also check out this post for more ideas to help avoid summer setback in math.

If you ask any teacher how to help your child during the summer, she will encourage you to read, read, read. Reading is the simple answer, and there are simple ways to fit reading into your schedule each day. 

Reading programs are a fun way to stay motivated to keep reading up during the summer. Check with your local library to see if they have a summer reading program. If you can't find one, you can always plan your own goals and reward system for reading milestones through the summer. 

One of my favorite things to do in the summer for reading is called Sustained Silent Reading (SSR). This is when you all sit in the room together and read whatever you like for 30 solid minutes (including the parent). You don't talk; you just read. We do this in the afternoon right at the time my toddler goes down for a nap if I have one (or would if I had one). I like the afternoon because it is the middle of the day. It is a time the kids can all take a break from their play and relax a bit. It is also a break from the heat of the day and a chance to cool down. All of my children really enjoy SSR. 

Another way to help with reading is to read to your child each day. If you read stories before bedtime, keep it up during the summer (if you don't, I encourage you to start). Read aloud to all of your children, no matter the ages. During summer, bedtime can really creep up on you. Do what you have to to ensure there is enough time to keep bedtime stories as part of your routine. 

Plan regular visits to the library through the summer. How often you can go will depend on your proximity and circumstances. We go once each week. I let each child choose 3-5 books for the week (I don't want too many books to keep track of). The children enjoy having a variety of books to read. Having a new book keeps them interested in reading. 

Find unique ways to get reading stories or reading practice in. I have had my children read me a book each day while I do their hair. They can finish a book in about the time it takes me to do her hair. This is a consistent time of day that we can remember to fit this reading practice in. There have been times our children have read from Oliver Twist to my husband while he did landscaping. You can also do reading in the car, have your child read to you as you make dinner...be creative. 

Summer often involves time spent in the car while traveling near and far. Something we love to do is listen to books on CD as we drive. It is a great way to get extra reading in while still being able to go do your fun things. 

How to Fit in Relaxing While Allowing Focus on Academics

While you want to do what you can to prevent the summer setback, you still want summer to be relaxing. You can allow down time. You can spend a relatively short time on the learning stuff each day and leave plenty of time for play and rest and relaxation. 

It is important to remember that for children, play is work. Play is more to children than what it is to us. For adults, play is fun and relaxing. For children, play has learning attached to it. My daughter's Kindergarten teacher sent home a paper of things to do this summer. Along with reading and simple math problems, she stressed the importance of play for children. To read more on the benefits of free play, see this post. Do not feel bad about giving your children time to be creative and have fun playing.

Another great thing to do during the summer is fun learning ideas. This can be a good time to try out some of those fun pins decorating your Pinterest account. There is so much learning that can happen through fun activities. 

Television, movies, computer time, and video games can be okay at times, but be careful to not let that time overrun your child's time for free play. Limit the time allowed with electronics each day or each week. Make sure you are not letting electronics suck up your play time. 

Make Sure Learning Time and Relaxing Happens

What you don't want is to panic two weeks before school starts with either 1)Ack! My kids haven't done any sort of learning for 2 1/2 months! or 2)Ack! We haven't done anything fun this summer!

Sit down and make a list of things you would like to see happen this summer. What kinds of learning things do you want to happen? Write out how you can work those into each day and make some goals you can keep. 

As you are making your list, write down some fun things you would like to see  happen daily and throughout the summer. Essentially, make a bucket list (but a reasonable one). A bucket list doesn't have to be a list of highly amazing things. You might want to go for a few bike rides. Go swimming a few times. Try some new parks. Go to that new splash pad. Write out your ideas and pencil them into your calendar for the summer. 

CONCLUSION

With a little bit of forethought and effort, you can make sure you have time for play and time for learning throughout the summer. You might also enjoy these posts I have written on the topic: 

They meant well, but it still hurt. I knew people were not trying to be hurtful. I knew they were trying to be helpful. The comments hurt anyway. I wasn't offended. The comments hurt anyway. The comments also frustrated me. I wanted to emphatically explain (maybe shout, but let's stick with explain) to them why their comments made no sense and were actually terrible things to say. I kept quiet. I had enough pain inside of me without pushing away people who were trying to help me.

I will start with my very favorite product--the Grand Debut Root Booster. This helps your hair not be flat. I love it no matter how I style it--with a curling wand, natural curl, or straightened. 

My next favorite is the Rival Heat Shield. It is great for protecting your hair against heat. You don't necessarily see the results immediately, but I like to keep my hair healthy so this is a must-own for me.

This is a leave-in conditioner. This is great for cutting frizz. I apply this to my ends every day no matter the hair-do. It helps keep frizz down and helps keep my hair looking healthy.

My next most-used item is the mousse. I like to use it on my hair to hold curl instead of hairspray. My hair is fine, so extra product just weighs it down so I like this better than hairspray. It keeps the hair nice and light without crunch. I must say, I have use d other mousse from the drug store that works just as well, so this wouldn't be a must-own for me.

I use this every time I do my hair straight. It is very smoothing and moisturizing. It doesn't take very many sprays to get it all over your hair, so it lasts forever.

This is something I use when I do my hair naturally curly. A lot of people like to use it to add a more textured look to the curling wand look. I don't love it with my hair for a curling wand, again, because I like as little as possible on my hair, but a lot of people with fine hair swear by it. They say it helps hair look thicker and hold better. I love it for natural curl.

Before I tried this shampoo, I hated dry shampoo. This one is fantastic. I have very dry hair, so I don't have a lot of need for dry shampoo, but if I am doing a third day hair (washed it two days ago), this is very helpful to help hair look better. It isn't all white and heavy. It doesn't leave your hair feeling coated in grossness. It looks like you just washed it. I love it for Kaitlyn's hair on a second day hair. She has more oily hair, so this is fantastic for her. 

This is another product to control frizz. I find the use very similar as the Sorbet. I think this is better to use on second or third day hair. The Sorbet is best on freshly washed hair. So I will use this on second or third day hair. But I think you can easily get by with either this or the Sorbet. I use the Sorbet more often. 

There you have it! If you want to get your own products, use my L'ANGE link here (affiliate). You will automatically get 50% off of all regular priced items in your cart! If for some reason you don't have the discount when you checkout, use the code "Babywise" to get the discount applied. 

L'ANGE also has other products I haven't yet tried. They have a detangler, hairsprays, shampoos, conditioners, a shine spray, hair lotion, hair masque, gel mousse, towel, and even products for men.

 

SLEEP

Sleep was great this past month. She didn't have any bad dreams at all.

EATING

Eating is good and pretty non-eventful. We had a spell while on vacation where she "wasn't hungry" at meal times and then begging for food shortly after the meal was over. We reminded her the time to eat was mealtimes and we didn't allow the "I'm full" at meals for a bit. We typically are fine with the kids deciding when they are full, but she needed to just eat what was available at the meals so she wasn't asking for food at other times. We aren't a "grazing" type anyway, but especially while on vacation and not home with food all around us, it was important for her to eat what she needed at meals. We did of course have snacks while we were out and about, but this was 10-15 minutes later proclaiming she was starving.

EMOTIONS
Brinley was quite the emotional four year old. This is a common age to be emotional; Kaitlyn was the same way, while Brayden and McKenna weren't extra emotional at that age. Kaitlyn snapped out of it at five. Brinley has eased out of it. She has slowly become less and less emotional over time. I think things have eased up even more in the last month or two. I wonder if she is one with just "big emotions" and might be more emotional than your typical person. Time will tell. Here is a post on helping your child work through emotions.

HOMEWORK

I had a reader request to know more about when the kids do school work at home in the schedules, so I will address it with each child individually. We have half-day Kindergarten around here, so Brinley is able to easily get her homework done after school. Our routine is to get home, eat lunch, and then do homework right away. I don't like putting homework off until later because I never think of it again. I know some people like to give significant time between getting home and homework time, and I understand their reasoning, but we have always done homework right away for all kids, no matter what grade they are in. 

Of all of my children right now, Brinley has the most homework. I think that is in part due to the fact that we are a state with half-day Kindergarten in a nation of full-day teaching requirements. So some things simply need to be sent home. It is also largely because my older kids get homework done at school during their down time, and Kindergarteners just don't have down time--again, half-day issue (by the way, I LOVE half-day Kindy. I am not upset it is half-day in the least). 

We are able to get homework done well before any other activities need to take place, even on days she has early activities.

EXTRA CURRICULARS

This is what Brinley is doing outside of school. She is doing more than she will be able to do when she moves to full day next year, just logistically. It gets hard to fit everyone's things in after school, but right now, I am able to do most of her things while the older kids are at school.

• Swimming lessons: She had 1-2 this month. She had a little break before that, and her first time going back, she was super nervous. But she did great and was excited after that. We have found Brinley does much better with lessons if no one else is in the building with her. We literally leave her with the teacher. 
• Gymnastics: She really likes gymnastics and is really loving it! She is progressing. She does little tricks at home. I don't see her ever going anywhere beyond "for fun," but I see so much value in what it is helping her to do at this point.
• Dance: dance is great! She loves her dance teachers. We have started talking about what she can and can't do next year, and right now she is saying she wants to do gymnastics over dance. So she likes it, but likes other things better. 
• Piano: Piano is great. She loves the piano, can read notes well for her age, and can play by ear quite well. A funny thing with the kids is they all want to play more advanced songs (of course). They want to play what Brayden plays. So Brinley literally is picking out by ear his recital song. HA! 
• Musical: The musical ended during this time. She had a lot of fun with it!

I love a family vacation. Traveling has always been one of my favorite things to do. While a lot of people get bored in a car for long hours, I get a thrill seeing the different landscapes as you drive mile after mile. I always said when I was younger that I would love to live in a different area of the world for 4-12 months at a time to get a feel for what it is like there. That sounded fun before I had kids; now I of course prefer stability and sending my kids to school, so we travel. We didn't always travel long distances. When my family as a whole was a younger family, we traveled close to home and for shorter spurts--more "long-weekends" than full vacations. I don't regret that; it was the best for our family of nappers and littles at the time and we still had a lot of fun.

Now that my family as a whole is in the middle stage of raising kids life, we are in full-on travel mode. We have a list of destinations we want to hit before Brayden, our oldest, graduates high school (only five years folks!). We are taking full advantage and getting our travel on. 

Prepping for a trip is not easy, and let's be real, for most families, the bulk of the burden lands on mom. Mom plans the trip, mom preps the pets and house to be left, mom packs her stuff, mom packs her own stuff, and mom answers dad's 65 questions while he packs his own stuff. Not to discount the stress or efforts dads put in to a trip, but in most cases, mom puts the most effort into prepping for a trip. 

All of this added burden (for fun, but a burden all the same) to everyday life can lead you to feeling stressed and extra grumpy. My husband and I both really strive to stay as patient as possible as we prep for a trip. We don't want vacations to be dreaded because it means mom and dad go into major grump mode. 

One of the best ways to stay calm and collected is to have a plan for how to prep and plan for the trip. Here is my method for planning the perfect family vacation. 

The first thing you need to do when planning a family vacation is to decide where to go and when to go. I really like having a master list of places we would like to go. We always decide at the end of one trip what our next one will be. Consider things like how far away it is, how expensive-ish it would be and how that would fit in with your budget, and how your kids would handle it at their ages. Not all places are great for kids at all ages. For example, on our someday list is Washington D.C. This is a very far away destination for us, so it is a once in a lifetime type of trip. We plan to wait until Brayden is a senior before we go there. There is a lot of walking involved and we want our kids old enough to be able to physically handle that. We also want them as old as possible to hopefully appreciate what is there. 

Once you know your location, get some date options. Look up online great times to travel to the location. What is a less busy time of year? Those will be less expensive and less crowded. Look at the weather at the different times of year you are considering. Be sure to consider school dates and work needs when considering your travel dates. 

We plan to go to Florida next year. We wanted to go over spring break, but once I started researching, I soon realized Florida has spring break the same time we did...it was literally twice as expensive to book lodging as other times of year we could go. So we are looking at other date options. 

How will you get there? Drive? Fly? Where will you stay? Rent a home? Hotel? All-inclusive? Where will you go? 

Figure out how far in advance you need to book things. You can shop around and find better deals the earlier you start booking. If you are going to a show or game of some sort, you can get better seats if you buy tickets earlier. Google best times to fly. Search for things in an "incognito" window so the Internet doesn't remember you are looking. Flight prices in particular will jump if you forget this step. 

We love to stay somewhere with at least a little mini fridge so we can pack lunches when possible. We don't like eating out for every single meal, plus it saves money to pack food. We typically try to eat out no more than once each day, and try to do less if possible. 

Decide where you will be eating meals, and then plan what they will be and where you will eat them. 

Also, in planning your food, don't forget to have some snacks planned. Kids are much more pleasant if they aren't hungry, and often when traveling, you are moving around more and kids can get quite hungry. 

If we are not flying, I like to make food ahead of time to take with us. I will boil some eggs to have as snacks. I will bake some banana bread. It is a great way to use up food that would otherwise go bad and have some yummy snacks for your trip. 

Taking a vacation with the money pre-saved makes the trip a thousand times more enjoyable. I love buying things ahead of time as I can to spread out the expenses. I always estimate how much the entire trip will cost and figure out how to save for the trip so that while we are on the trip, it is all paid for and the money is there to cover what isn't already paid for so we can just enjoy the trip without worrying about going into debt. 

Make a packing list for each person so you can check things off as you pack. I try to pack light, but I also want everything we need. I always pack 1-2 extra pairs of underwear and socks per person just in case something happens. I even make a packing list for my husband so he can just consult it instead of asking me what he needs to pack and if there is anything else he needs. Be sure you think through your activities and that you have what you need to do them. I mentally walk through each day so I don't forget anything. Check the weather of where you are going and have plans for inclement weather happening. What will you need if it rains or snows? Do you have what you need for the sun? What is the climate like? Is it more humid? Are there lots of bugs (and bug spray needed)?

If you like to have a fresh hair-cut or you want your nails done, make sure you make the appointments with enough time. If you need to see a doctor for any reason (certain vaccinations, clearance, medications, etc.) be sure to schedule with enough notice. 

There are a variety of things you need to prep at home before you go. I always like to put a hold on my mail. You can go here to set up your own mail hold. If you have pets, find someone to take care of them while you are gone. We always get a neighbor. You might need to board your pet at the vet or a boarding place. If you have plants or a garden going, you will want to make sure you have someone lined up to water those things if needed. 

Let your work colleagues know when you will be gone. Arrange for your responsibilities to be covered while you are gone. If your child is in daycare, let them know. If your child will miss school, talk to the teacher ahead of time. They will often gather up work your child will miss so he/she can do it ahead of time. If your child is in dance, music lessons, or a sport, be sure to let those in charge know your child will be missing. 

It is also smart to tell neighbors you trust that you will be leaving and your dates. It can help them keep an eye on your house and know if they see things going on that something isn't right. It is also smart to let your family or close friends know when you are going, how long you will be there, and how you will be traveling. That way if something happens, someone knows you aren't where you should be. 

In the last couple of days before you leave, make sure your electronics are ready to go. If you plan to take a Kindle, make sure the movies and books you want on the device are loaded. Make sure your devices are charged fully. 

If you will be driving at all for your vacation, clean your vehicle out. Check the fluids and the tire pressure. Get the oil changed if it is due. Fill up with gas. Be prepared and ready to go.

Just before you leave, there are some things you will ideally do. One is clean up a bit. I love coming home to a clean house and it is so nice to not have a mess on top of the mess you bring home. You will have unpacking and laundry to take care of. 

If you have the time, clean your refrigerator out in the few days before you leave. You can get food out that is bad or about to go bad. It is also wise to empty all garbages just before you leave so you don't have anything in the house rotting and/or stinking up the place. 

Check the windows and doors and make sure all are locked. Do a walk through and make sure the lights are all off and the electronics are unplugged. Turn down or up the thermostat (depending on the time of year). Before you leave, give your pets and/or plants one last check/feeding/watering.

Ultimate Vacation Planning and Packing Checklist

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