Thursday, June 11, 2009

Index: Bedtime

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8 comments:

Mrs. Sarah J. said...

Hi,
I have two questions:
1. When you wrote in the "about me" section, you mentioned that you taught your 1 week old daughter to self soothe. What does that mean? How did you do that? And also, I have heard from doctors and read many times that when babies are infants they are to be fed as often as they want (for many reasons including that your breast-milk supply is regulating) and that infants should not be left to cry. Thoughts?

2. I don't understand the whole sleeping from 7 to 7 thing... It seems like what most BW parents' goal is is to have the child sleep 12 hours at night? And then a 2-3.5 hour nap? Is this correct?
I just have to comment that just as adults, children seem to have different needs when it comes to how much they sleep per 24 hour period and how they break it up into nap(s) and night time sleep. The average amount of sleep hours for babies around his age is 11 hours to 14.5 hours per 24 hour period. My son (18 months) sleeps exactly 9and a half hours a night and then takes a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. He is completely rested in the morning and after his nap. On some occasions however, he is so relaxed that he nurses back to sleep in the morning, he will sleep for an hour and a half more, therefor reducing his afternoon nap to an hour and a half (instead of the usual 3 hours) His body always gets the 12.5 hours that it needs. If I were to follow BW, would it tell me to keep him in his crib for up to 2.5 hours more per day?!? I mean, he might play/talk for a while, but he would eventually get really upset. How can we expect all babies to be the same as each other and have the same sleep patterns? I can tell he is fully rested and there is no way that if I just didn't go to him that he would just lay back down and get some more sleep!

PS- I like some of your discipline thoughts-- when you implement logical consequences and other consequences, do you give a warning first or do you just act immediately?

Thanks--
Sarah

Plowmanators said...

Sarah,

1-When Kaitlyn was one week old, it was the first time she actually stayed awake after a feeding. I sat down to rock her to sleep. But then it hit me that she already knew how to fall asleep on her own and I didn't want to teach her to need to be rocked because I knew that I would do CIO with her eventually. So I put her in bed and she fell asleep without crying or fussing at all.

i fed my girls more often than they asked for because they had to be woken to eat. I fed my son as often as he wanted, but that was at a 2.5 interval until he was 6 months old.

2. BW actually says baby will eventually sleep 10-12 hours, but that is at 3 months at the earliest. Number and length of naps varies by age.

BW also states that babies have different sleep needs from each other and gives ranges of sleep. It doesn't tell parents an exact number of hours per sleep each day. It is all ranges, and also says the parent needs to adjust for the individual child.

So far as my reactions with discipline, it is really not an "if X then Y" situation, so it is hard to give a straight answer. Sometimes, a consequence is given without warning. This is typically when the child knows for sure the action is not acceptable. Sometimes there is a warning.

I take into account variables of age, understanding, if child is hungry or tired, etc.

I have a lot of posts outlining in more detail my thinking behind my actions if you look under the "discipline" blog label.

Aspinwall Family said...

My question is similar to the #2 questions. My daughter is 11 weeks old and sometimes will sleep 7-8 hours but lately will only go 3-4. I try to settle her before feeding her but it only works for usually another hour. I am now exhausted! I have been following the FWS pattern ever since she was born and she has gained plenty of weight. Any suggestions to get her to sleep through the night? She goes 2.5 to 3 hours during the day and I put her down between 9 and 10. I sometimes find if I stay up and do the late feeding she wakes up sooner then if I feed her sooner and just let her sleep. Please help, I know she is capable of sleeping through the night! Oh and she likes to be swaddled.

Plowmanators said...

It is very possibly a growth spurt.

I also think it could be an issue of going to bed too late. Gonig to bed between 7-8 is ideal .10 is a good time for a late evening feeding, but not bedtime. later bedtimes often lead to poor nights.

But since she will only go an hour after you soothe her back to sleep, I would say a growth spurt is likely.

Neil and Steph said...

Hi Sarah, I have a question regarding my three week old baby boy...Ive set his "wake" time to be 7:00...After I feed him at that time, he usually eats on average about every three hours..sometimes 2 1/2, but it's almost always every three hours. That said, his "late evening" feeding falls at one in the morning (very late!) He is very difficult to wake for that feeding, and is drowsy during the whole nursing period. Can I let him just sleep until he naturally wakes for that feeding? And then let him naturally wake again after that for the "middle of the night" feeding?

Kristen Heineman said...

My daughter is 19 weeks old (born 3 weeks early). I didn't not use babywise from the beginning, but am now trying to implement it out of desperation. I never let her CIO before. So far it is going really well, but I am struggling with the end of the day and bedtime. I have implemented the following 3 hour schedule over the past 5 days. She shows sleep cues after an hour and a half wake time so I think this is the right interval for her right now.

6:00am-Feed
7:30-Nap
9:00- Feed
10:30-Nap
12:00-Feed
1:30-Nap
3:00- Feed
4:30-tried a catnap and she just cried for 30 minutes for the first 3 days so we scratched it.
6:00-Feed
6:30-6:45-Bed
9:00-9:30 dreamfeed
(I have been feeding her once in the middle of the night as well, usually around 3:30-4am and yes she is VERY hungry. I think it will be easier to drop once her body gets use to the 3 hours feedings rather than snacking all day)

The naps are going great. She only cries for 5-10 minutes 15 max and usually sleep for an hour-an hour and a half for a total of 4 hours of nap time a day. But at night she has been crying anywhere from 45 minutes to 1 1/2 hours off and on. Yes I do go in at 30 minutes to check that her diaper is clean, etc. We also have a video monitor, so I can see that she is ok. She seems so tired when I put her down. The 3-6:30 stretch is really long for her. Any ideas??? Should I make the bedtime later? It seems like she eventually falls asleep at 7:30 or 8? Is she overtired? 4 hours of naptime seems like enough? HELP!

Adam Smith said...

Our 10 week old does great during the day on a 3 hr schedule starting at 6:30 she is sleeping through the night easy but does not want to sleep at bedtime we feed bath and read and put her down at 730 and by 830 or earlier she is wake until her "dreamfeed" then she is out for the night! We have tries CIO and nothing, it's not the witching hours bc when we pick her up she is happy. She is not ready for a 3 and a half schedule bc she can only handle 50-60 mins of play! What do you suggest!!?? Thanks!!

Olivia Bottini said...

Hello! I need a LOT OF HELP! I have read everything on your blog, and have tried everything, but I think it is time to see what you have to say. My daughter will be 5 months old on the 12th of this month. Since week 4/5 I have been trying to get her on a schedule, but kept it flexible. I definitely set her a good bedtime and routine and it has always gone smoothly. My problem is, I cannot figure out a good schedule for her for the day, AND her night wakings are relentless. She was doing well for a short time, only waking to feed 3 times, but she went through a period of waking every hour after midnight. Now, unfortunately she is waking every 2 hours or so after bedtime and throughout the night. I am completely lost on what to do. She is back to what she was doing during her late month 3 and the beginning of month 4. I will put her to bed at 6:30 (USED TO BED 8, THEN 7, NOW 6:30), and now she is waking even without having that first 6 hours of deep sleep. She woke up at 7:30 pm, 9:30 pm (for food, usually it is around 10:30 pm) and then she woke up at 10:30 pm, 1:30 am, 3:00 am, and then she was awake a LOT from 4:00 am until 7:00 am. It has not been this bad, she usually has her first chunk of deep sleep from bedtime until her first feeding. I have no idea what to do. Should I try a different bedtime? I have changed it a million times. Lately, if I put her to bed at 7:00 she is more awake for the night, but if I put her to bed at 6:30 she will wake up extremely early and ready for the day. Currently I am trying to feed her every 3 hours during the day to get enough food in for the day so that she does sleep at night. She gets up for the day at 7:00 am, nap at 8 ( i figured out she has a hard time staying awake for more than an hour), wakes at 10 for food, sometimes will go down for a nap at 11, wake at 1 to feed, sometimes will take a short nap around 2:00 and then she will have bed at 6:30. Problem is, she has been refusing to nap at all for the day. Yesterday I finally got her to sleep for her 11:00 nap, but it took me 40 minutes. I have tried to let her cry it out, and I do and it usually works. She is pretty good at self soothing, but I cannot figure out how to get it to where she is soothing herself at night. I guess I don't know when to let her cry it out at naps. I did it at the beginning of naps and then during when she would wake, but what I was worried about was that she was just ready to be awake. But I am not sure. If you are able to help me that would be wonderful.

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