Tips for Finding Your Child’s Ideal Bedtime

Learn how to find your child’s perfect bedtime. Included in this post is a range for the ideal bedtime by age from baby to toddler to teenager.

Having a consistent bedtime is one of the most crucial steps to getting your baby sleeping through the night and on a solid sleep schedule for naps. 

Read all about the Importance of a Consistent Bedtime here.

As you set your bedtime, you will probably wonder what time is the best time for your child to have bedtime. 

Defining “Consistent” 

To have a consistent bedtime, you want your bedtime to be at the same time each night within a 30 minute window. So if bedtime is 7:30, your 30 minute window could be 7:00-7:30, 7-15-7:45, 7:25-7:55, etc. Pick one 30 minute window you will operate in.

Read more at How To Decide What Time Should Be Bedtime

How To Be Consistent With Bedtime

Bedtime happens at the end of the day. You are probably wondering how on earth you can be consistent with bedtime when it is the last event of the day. Bedtime can naturally vary quite a lot if your daily schedule is not the same from day to day.

This brings up the importance of a consistent start time to each day. You need to start your schedule at the same time each morning if you want to increase your chances of ending at the same time each day. 

So start this process with a consistent morning wake up time. You want it to be within a 30 minute window just like bedtime. 

The second step is to work to be consistent in your days. I have a post to help you accomplish this in Getting a Consistent Schedule. 

As you go through your day, if your child wakes early from one nap, let your baby sleep longer for another nap to get back on track. If you get a little behind schedule, move something up in the day to get back on schedule. You have an entire day to work toward getting back on track for that consistent bedtime.

Read My Books for More Help

Do Not Fear Disruptions

With all of this talk about consistency, I don’t want to send you into a panic every time there is a disruption or change in your daily routine. You want most days to be consistent, but it is okay to have some off days. It is okay to have an early bedtime for whatever reason every once in a while. It is okay if you put your little one down for bedtime late one day because you were out and about. 

It is okay to have disruptions to your typical schedule.

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Read: Strategies for Making Bedtime Smoother

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Ideal Bedtimes by Age

As much as schedules change over the years, it is interesting to me that one thing that changes very little is bedtime. Here are some ideal bedtimes by age.

Newborn Bedtime

Newborns sleep more than any other age range (yes, even teenagers! haha). Your newborn should have bedtime 12 hours before your ideal morning wakeup time. So if you want to start your day at 7 AM, bedtime needs to be at 7 PM.

Some sleepier newborns might even have bedtime a little more than 12 hours before bedtime. 

Newborns eat a lot and will eat at least two times between bedtime and morning wakeup time, but still treat that 12 time before your start of day as bedtime. Establish your bedtime routine. Set it apart from the rest of the day. 

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:00-8:00 PM

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Read: Sleep Routine Ideas to Get Your Baby Sleeping Well

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Baby Bedtime

Bedtime for your baby ages 4-12 months old should be 10-12 hours before your morning wakeup time. Until your little one is sleeping through the night, stick with aiming for 12 hours. If that doesn’t work, slowly shift it until you find the ideal bedtime. As your baby gets older, you will find the ideal bedtime for your little one. 

Some babies might even sleep 12.5-13 hours at night.

Bedtime can often shift as naps are dropped. This might be a permanent shift or a shift that is temporary until your little one can either handle less daytime sleep or can shift sleep to naps. 

So if bedtime is 7:30 when baby has four naps, you might need to move bedtime to 7:00 when baby moves to three naps a day. After baby has adjusted, you might be able to move back to a 7:30 bedtime.

As naps are dropped, I always caution parents to think of a nap as rearranging total sleep time in a 24 hour period rather than dropping sleep time. Sometimes that might be as simple as baby doesn’t wake up for a night feed anymore so 30 minutes of sleep is added in during night sleep and can be shifted from a nap. 

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:00-8:00 PM. I always like to aim for bedtime being in the 7 PM hour. You might have reasons to have a later bedtime and that is perfectly fine as long as your baby can handle it.

Poll Results for Baby Bedtime

In a poll taken on this blog, parents reported the following for their baby’s bedtime.

6:00-7:00 PM: 27 votes (11%)
7:00-7:30 PM: 52 votes (21%)
7:30-8:00 PM: 54 votes (22%)
8:00-8:30 PM: 60 votes (24%)
8:30-9:00 PM: 28 votes (11%)
9:00-9:30 PM: 9 votes (3%)
9:30-10:00 PM: 6 votes (2%)
10:00 PM or later: 6 votes (2%)

Total of 242 votes

And here is another poll taken on this blog:

6:30 PM: 6 votes (7%)
7:00 PM: 14 votes (17%)
7:30 PM: 12 votes (14%)
8:00 PM: 23 votes (28%)
8:30 PM: 11 votes (13%)
9:00 PM: 3 votes (3%)
9:30 PM: 2 votes (2%)
10:00 PM: 8 votes (9%)
Who Knows! It changes every night!: 2 votes (2%)

Total of 81 votes

Pretoddler Bedtime

A pretoddler is in the age range of 12-18 months old. Pretoddlers will start out with two naps a day. Most will drop to one nap a day sometime between 14-18 months old. 

We are still aiming for a bedtime 10-12 hours before your start time of day. You might need to shift bedtime back a little later if your little one is almost ready for one nap a day but not quite there yet.

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:00-8:00 PM (do you see a pattern here?)

Toddler Bedtime

Toddlers are 18 months through 2 years old. Toddlers will be solidly at one nap a day. Still focus on bedtime being 10-12 hours before your morning wake up time.

Two year olds often have a 2 year old sleep regression where they play and play before bedtime after being put to bed. I would recommend you focus on bedtime being close to 12 hours before morning wake up time so you can have wiggle room for playing and still falling asleep by a decent time. 

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:00-8:00 PM

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Read: How To Solve Sleep Problems for Toddlers and Preschoolers

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Preschooler Bedtime

Preschoolers are 3 and 4 year olds. Preschooler bedtime shouldn’t shift much. When your preschooler has days she skips her daytime nap (which is normal), you might need to move bedtime up by 30 minutes that day.

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:00-8:00 PM

Child Bedtime

The child age range is 5-8 years old. This will take your child from Kindergarten through 2nd grade. You will hear many, many times over those years from your child’s teacher and school how important an early bedtime is for your child. 

This is when bedtime just might start to shift some. Your child still needs 10-12 hours of sleep at night. 

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:00-8:30 PM

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Read: Sleep Needs and Difficulties for 7-12 Year Olds

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Preteen Bedtime

Preteen, or Tween, is ages 9-12 years old. Your child needs at least 9 hours of sleep at night at this age. I aim for 10-11 typically in this age range. Preteens often like some wind down time once in bed, so it is wise to have something like an 8 PM bedtime with a lights out time of 8:30 if your child is getting up at 7:00 AM. 

If your tween is responsible, let your tween decide lights out time. I would start this more around at 10 or 11. Help your child recognize how he/she feels after a certain number of hours of sleep. Feeling sleepy with 9 hours? Let’s aim for 9.5 hours tonight. Feeling groggy with 10.5 hours? How about we try out 10 hours. 

Help your child respect and recognize the benefits of healthy sleep. You have worked his whole life on establishing healthy sleep habits. Do not send your child out into adulthood never having practiced ownership over his own sleep. Help her recognize the benefits of choosing healthy sleep while you still have influence over her. 

Ideal bedtime hour: 7:30-9:00 PM

Teen Bedtime

Teenagers are 13-18 years old (for the purpose of this…I am assuming your child will move out at 18 years old). Teenagers need 8-10 hours of sleep. Start at when your teenager needs to get up in the morning and work backward. For example, Brayden wakes up at 6 AM. That means to get 8-10 hours of sleep, bedtime needs to happen between 8-10 PM. 

Just like preteens like some wind down time, so do teens. Take that into consideration when deciding “bedtime.” You will likely have an “in your room” time and then a “lights out” time. Continue to allow your teen decide bedtime.

As the parent, you can always decide “in your room” time. Be sure you do not allow electronics in the bedroom so you can help your child choose bedtime when your child is tired rather than staying up to watch one more show or scroll snapchat one more time. 

Ideal Bedtime hour: 8:00-9:30 PM

Conclusion

I hope you noticed as you read through that all that bedtime does not shift a whole lot over the years. Do not underestimate the power of a consistent bedtime. Do not underestimate the power of setting a precedence of prioritizing bedtime from a young age. If bedtime is always highly valued, you will get little to no push back from your preteen. 

Healthy sleep habits are worth forming early and sticking to throughout life!

Bedtime Tips from Readers

I asked readers for their tips and thoughts on bedtime. Here is what they said:

What do you do that makes bedtime go smoother?

• same routine every night, she pitched a lot of fits at bedtime from ages 2-4 but now is finally better
• Exact same routine is important to him.
• make sure he doesn’t get overtired 
• we find that if we go up to bedtime in a good mood (at least not crying) then the routine goes more smoothly and not as long as if he’s upset about something
• Keep the same routine always.
• Keep a routine and stick with bed times the majority of the time. Unless its just really late, still do the read and sing routine, even if shortened, to give them a few minutes to calm down and relax before lights out.
• Same routine night after night. If there is any major stalling, non compliance, fussing we take away reading the book. Most always, the warning about it does the trick.
• Communicate expectations and be willing to enforce them (NEVER BACK DOWN).
• We try to keep the same routine every night that we can. 
• Goes to sleep fine, wakes a little earlier, not too many issues. If I’m concerned with him going down, I’ll do a bath first.
• We’ve had the same routine more or less since birth for both boys. Same songs, same order, prayers – our boys know what to expect and they calm down as we go through the bedtime motions.
• Bath 
• Music and a warm sponge bath or bath. Knock on wood bedtime has been this way since day 3, and works awesome trouble is I can’t seem to extend it out cuz he’s a sleepy boy 
• Consistency. Keeping the same order of things to get those sleep cues going. 
• 1. start early so it’s not too rushed. 2. have clear expectations- my 4 year old puts on her own pjs. if she plays around too much she misses story time bc we don’t wait for her to start. if I had time to dress 2 little ones, she had plenty of time to dress herself. We also have a set number of hugs and kisses given at bedtime.
• We have always had a routine since day one. It’s changed over time, but always always the same routine every night. We even let babysitters know. 
• Putting the littlest to bed 30 minutes before the older leaves me to be able to give the older one undivided attention. Even if little one doesn’t sleep I leave him to fuss while I tend to the older one, he deserves that time and he sleeps much better after having that time.
• the same thing every night. If it wasn’t a special event, the bedtime routine really never changes at all. 
• we stick to the routine
• Try not to rush it and make sure we have time to read a book and goof off before bed.
•  We keep it consistent and try to recreate as much as possible when traveling.
• I try to do what I can with both kids at once. Both kids get dressed at once, both kids are now bathing at once, and sometimes they get the same bedtime story which means I don’t read to my daughter after her brother goes to bed. That’s on my Mommy nights! LOL That’s rare, though.

Any thoughts or advice on bedtime and its importance?

• Her attitude throughout the day tells me she needs more sleep and she always falls asleep IMMEDIATELY when we put her in bed. Hubby won’t allow an earlier bedtime because he wants to spend time with them after work. We like the bedtime routine to be quality time with the child but that means we need to have plenty of time (start early) so we aren’t rushing and getting upset with them. 
• It is a sweet time with him as long as we are not in a rush and follow the routine perfectly! Also, a tired child is less cooperative so it’s best to start BEFORE he gets tired. 
• put them to bed before they seem tired!
• Sleep train so you’re not having to put them to sleep but understand that they go through stages and sometimes they’ll need extra snuggles or “one more hug”
•  Since my kids do not do well with later bedtimes, we know we may have to leave parties early and we do not make late night plans for them.
• I function best when I have a bedtime routine and go to bed at a fairly consistent time, and my kids definitely do as well. We leave functions early or skip out altogether sometimes. However, as they are getting older, there is more room for flexibility. To those with babies and younger toddlers, I would remind them that it is a season!
• My children are so much more better behaved when they have had a long night. They can control their emotions better. It is also very helpful for yourself and your marriage. Being able to do a hobby after bedtime, relax with your husband, grab coffee with a friend, etc helps me be a better mom.
• I seriously get anxiety when I think about my kids eventually needing later bedtimes. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that they go to bed so early and I have time alone with my husband to relax and unwind. Early bedtimes are the best. I know at some point our kids will go to bed a little later, but we are soaking up the time now.
• Daily morning Wake time is the most important thing about bed time. Also have them sleep in a pack nnplay every so often so u can take them with u for later evenings at friends from time to time. So nice to have this opportunity!
• Children experience a lot of comfort and security through routine and our boys find their beds a soothing, restorative place. I think the bedtime routine has been really essential to that and both my boys, while very different in personality, are both great sleepers.
• Still working on this to figure out perfect timing but know a routine is important
• Even if you don’t have solid naps a solid bedtime plus routine is important but if the time changes that ok they need to be flexible , in fact do something to switch the time up now and then on purpose for that reason… but the most important is the routine.(music warm bath etc)
• on a typical day I actually start gearing up for bed time as early as 4pm. Meaning I get the house ready. Choose quiet activities for the evening. Dinner prepped and on the table for the kids by 6pm. Time with dad. Bath by 7. Milk and stories by 730. Lights out by 8pm. Works like clockwork.
• 1. It’s better for our kids to be in bed 10 minutes early, rather than 10 minutes late. 2. Since our kids are young, we make bedtime a priority. This means we say no to lots of things, but as they are getting older we can stretch and say yes to more. It’s worth the temporary sacrifice!
• To us, bedtime sets a precedent for the next day and that’s why it’s important to us. Our babies are just happier on their routine so we adjust around it to a certain extent.
• When you have 4 kids, having a predictable “time off” is very important not only for yourself but also for your marriage. I’m not sure I could function without my nightly shower and wind-down time with my husband. I certainly wouldn’t be a happy person without those things lol
• My kids need far earlier bedtimes than what the world around me would suggest. We’ve tried later ones for consistent periods of time and it does not go well. If an earlier bedtime works better for your child and family, it’s beneficial to the child and family to use it.
• A regular and early bedtime makes for a happy child and happy parents 🙂
• Consistent bedtime is so important when sleep training and should be started right away. Create a routine that they can get used to so they know what’s coming, but don’t make it so rigid that if you’re away you can’t keep the same routine or that if it has to be different, that they can’t handle that.
• We think it’s very important for us because he is happier. We don’t compromise on his bedtime.
• Setting up a bedtime is critical for your sanity, to be honest. You NEED to be consistent as much as possible for good results and good sleep. And every child responds differently. My kids are as opposite as can be, with one a morning person, and the other a night owl. With one child, he falls asleep right away; the other one needs firm rules at bedtime or she will play at all hours of the night if you let her. But with a good night’s sleep, both of my kids function very well — as do I! 🙂 A good bedtime routine with repeated nightly rituals is quite comforting to both kids and moms! I know I for one cherish every step of it because I know *I* also get to go to sleep soon. LOL 🙂