How to let things go when you are a perfectionist mother. Learn to let things go and rely on others.
If you are like me, you have the privilege of hearing “Let It Go” and other songs from Disney’s Frozen approximately a million times a day. I think a lot of people are getting sick of it, but I take a really long time to get sick of a song, so I don’t mind it. McKenna (4) is full-on obsessed with these songs.
We saw Frozen in the theatre in December over Christmas break. It was McKenna’s first time in a movie theatre. McKenna has a sensitive heart and she was on edge through the entire show. If you have seen it, you know it is pretty much in a state of conflict and stress the entire time. Then the emotional climax moves from stressed to emotionally-shattering. In a theatre full of children, you could have heard a tear drop. Except for McKenna’s wails–she isn’t a quiet person, especially not when she is expressing emotion. Her heart was broken. Her voice was what the audience as a collective was feeling. She really doesn’t enjoy watching most movies because it is too intense for her. Cinderella is about her limit.
Anyway, Frozen has been hyped up beyond hype. I don’t remember so much mania around a Disney show since Beauty and the Beast. I was excited. But I left the theatre feeling disappointed. Cute show? Yes. Nice story, sure. Interesting twist at the end, absolutely. Great moral lesson driven home, check. But best Disney show ever? Or even in the last 15 years? I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t feel like it was any better than Tangled or Mulan. I actually felt like the character development was sorely lacking. Great potential for a great story, but it all happened too fast.
At about the 5 billionth time I heard “Let it Go,” it struck me. The song has a great message, especially to perfectionists. I happen to fall into a perfectionist category. And even closer to home, I am all too familiar with the “oldest daughter needs to be perfect for the family” role. And I think the movie takes that role and allows Elsa to move past it with far too little effort. I understand, it is a movie for little kids. Extreme limitations here. But I think this is the character development I have trouble with (and I have only seen it once so I can’t put my muddlings over it all to the test as I analyze it again and again).
Can “letting go of perfectionism” be as easy as singing a little tune and taking some “me” time? Or is it having someone love you enough to put their needs before you own–to stop relying on you and allowing you to rely on them–even lay down their life for you? Can it really be that easy? And snap! You are moving on to your happily ever after.
I am a strong person. I am someone people rely on and lean on. Most of the time, I can handle this role and do it well. But sometimes, I just want to rely on someone else for a change. I want to stop being the strong one and let someone else take that burden for me. I want to let it go.
And let me share there is only one situation I have ever found myself in where I have truly been able to let it go. It has been in crying to the Lord, telling Him I am not strong enough and that I need His help, and asking him to take the burden from me and help me through it. And guess what? He does! 100% of the time, my burden is lightened. 100%. And how easy was that? Pretty much as easy as singing a tune of my heart, taking some “me” time in prayer, and having someone love me enough to have put His life down for me. That is how easy it is.
And I am no more special than you are. If it is that easy for me, it is that easy for you. Put it to the test. 100% of the time, you will be received.