How to make a parenting roadmap so you can parent very intentionally. How to make a parenting plan. What goals are best to focus on as a parent.
I mentioned a while ago that I was reading The Parenting Breakthrough after having a couple of readers recommend it. I am loving it!
In it, Boyack recommends making a plan for helping your children learn independence. She has several steps outlined to develop this plan, so I thought it would be fun for all of us to go through this together.
You can make this plan no matter how old your oldest is, from living inside of you to still living at home. So, let’s start with step one.
Read my review of the Parenting Breakthrough book here
How to Make a Parenting Plan
For step one, you pull out a piece of paper and write on it, “How I Want My Children to Turn Out.”
Boyack points out that few people actually make parenting plans, which is silly considering all that we plan out in life.
So, on this paper, you make a list of things you want for your children. What are your goals? You might want them to be able to care for themselves. You might want them to be able to keep a job. You might want them to have integrity. A good work ethic.
Whatever your goals, write them down. Be realistic. Also, keep in mind that this list will be dynamic–it isn’t set in stone. So relax and just write what comes to mind.
So, take some time to make your list. Consult with your spouse. Think it over.
Lifetime Goals for Kids
Here is our list (in no particular order–and I think some things are kind of redundant):
I want my children to be able to….
- Take care of themselves physically.
- eat right
- cook good meals
- clean themselves
- exercise
- laundry
- Take care of their house
- Clean
- Fix things when broken
- Shop for things (groceries, find deals, etc.)
- Take care of yard
- Garden
- Sew (this will be on level of interest, but I want basic skills to be known)
- Appropriate car maintenance (again, on level of interest with basic skills know)
- Fix things that are broken so they don’t buy things over and over
- repair clothes
- fix cars
- Take care of family
- nurture
- take care of children
- teach children
- Be able to earn an income
- Be wise with money
- save money
- invest wisely
- avoid debt
- Do something musically
- Be involved in something physical (sports, dance, etc.)
- Have interpersonal skills
- Have a personal testimony of the gospel
- pray
- recognize the spirit
- study scriptures
- Know how to find answers on their own to questions they have
- research skills
- discernment
- prayer
- Be kind to others and be service-oriented
- Be able to schedule appointments
- Talk to adults and authority figures comfortably
- Call businesses/classifies/strangers
- Buy things wisely
Ready to put these goals in practice? Read all about how to implement your parenting plan here
Reader Parenting Goals
Redheads said:
February 25, 2010
Wow! I am going to copy and paste your list! LOL!! Seriously though, my DH and I are going to sit down real soon and write out our parenting goals, as well as goal for our individual selves. We did this once a few years back and it was amazing! Our Pastor told us about it one time. He suggested writing out 1 year goals, 5 year goals, and then 10 year goals. We still have that list, and it was funny to read some of them a few years later. Some we had accomplished. Some we still wanted, but hadn’t made it a priority so they didn’t come to pass, and others just made us laugh because we no longer wanted those goals and couldn’t believe that we thought we did!! Thanks for this great post! It will help everyone immensly!Amy
Dale said…
February 26, 2010
After reading your blog for so long without leaving any comments and now two in one day! I am on a roll :)I have always liked the Girl Scouts motto – Courage, Confidence, Character. I thought these were good goals for my LO but I think I am going to have to go back and put a little more detail to these after reading your post! (grin)I really do love the idea about having a parenting plan – keeping the end goals in mind will remind me of the “why”
Kristy Powers said…
April 16, 2010
I missed these posts about lifetime goals and The Parenting Breakthrough. I love them! Thank you, they will be so helpful! Like Amy said, I’ll be thinking about us adults, too! 😉
I like this idea. I'm going to do it and after I read Toddlerwise I think I might read this book too!
Thanks, this is a great idea. I think my DH and I will do that this weekend. We were just talking about how we need to sit down and do goals, and of course parenting and family needs to be at the top of the list!
I've actually done this before and I think it helps a lot. Many homeschooling families have a "mission statement" of sorts and that's what gave me the idea. Here's ours for Tobias (roughly):We want him to grow up with a heart for God and a love of others; to be an inter-dependent, confident, and trustworthy man; to continue learning throughout his life; and to be a kind, respectful husband and father.
You are welcome ladies!
Thanks Mada. Good stuff 🙂
Hi,My little one is 10 mo and has been doing everything faster than normal. I have a couple of things I can't seem to wrap my head around and need your help. Malachi is on a 4hour schedule with 2 naps a day. He is awake by 7:30 and down for bed by 7:30 below is his most days routine.I think his feeding time are supposed to line up with our eating times but how and when? The breakfast and lunch times line up great but dinner is not until 5:30. Do I feed his bottle to him when he wakes up and the other food at dinner with our food? I'm trying to transition the baby food out. Which is my other question. How do you make sure they have a full feeding when you stop the baby food?I have given him scramble egg and toast one morning and he didn't eat it all maybe half. He was really cranky come about 9 o'clock. I think didn't get enough food to make it to 9:30 or 10. He normally stays up till 10 or at least 9:45. He had enough sleep the night before and everything else was same oh same oh. Maybe I'm not giving him enough time to eat everything? He does seem to want to stop before he is full because he is tired of chewing and feeding himself. He has never been very excited about food unless its in the morning or at night. After his bottle though he would not complain about not getting real food until he is whinny because he didn't get a full feeding. Now I'm rambling.How do I get him off baby food? How do I only feed him real food when we eat?7:30 wake up, 8oz. bottle 3T cereal half tub fruit9:30 or 10 nap11:30 or 12 wake up, 6oz. bottle whole tub of veggie whole tub of fruit2 nap4 wake up, 6oz. bottle 2T cereal, half tub veggie, half tub fruit5:30 is when we eat as a family he eats some of what we are having or little snacks7:15 bottle 8oz.7:30 bedThanks for your help. I love your blog and tell all my BW friends about you.