No Trouble with Bonding or Trust

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by Christine from California


I’ve done Babywise with both of my kids from day one. After I read the book it really clicked with me and I  knew it was something I wanted to do. I had great success when my kids were babies and they have always slept well. I heard the comments from people who don’t approve of Babywise about how it can cause problems with bonding and attachment and, to be honest, sometimes I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Well just a couple months ago it was confirmed to me that we did do the right thing.

My daughter, my second born, is almost 5 years old and she was at a neighbor’s house and got locked in the bathroom for over 30 minutes while the parents tried to get her out. They ended up slipping a screwdriver under the door and directing her how to unscrew the knob and get herself out. They were amazed by how calm she was the whole time. She never got upset and freaked out.

Later that night as I was putting her to bed I asked her why she was able to be so calm and she told me, “I knew that you or daddy would come get me.” That brought tears to my eyes knowing for a fact how much she trusts us and does not have bonding issues. I think that even though we left her to cry it out sometimes she was able to learn that we always came back for her. We never abandoned her. She was given the great gift of knowing that even though we’re not there by her side, even in a tough situation, she can trust that we will come get her and she can remain calm and confident in that.

Now I KNOW that we did the right thing by our kids by doing Babywise with them.

2 thoughts on “No Trouble with Bonding or Trust”

  1. This first couple of weeks after your babies were born, how much did you hold them? The location specialist said they should have body contact 24/7 for 2 months. Skin on skin. Do you agree?

    • No…that might be okay for some people, but I could see trying to do that for 2 months hurting the mental health of a lot of moms! I can’t really quantify the amount they were held. We didn’t do skin to skin outside the hospital (at least not intentionally). But for my babies 2-4, they definitely took a lot of naps (most naps) in the bassinet or crib. When my second child was born, I had a 22 month old. I could not sit and hold the baby all day. I had a very busy toddler to take care of! I think if babies needed that much contact to feel connected to a family, the Lord would design so you only had one child.


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