Potty Training: There is More Than One Right Method

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There is is more than one right method to potty training. Find the one method that will work best for your child and go with that.

Mom with her child on a potty chair

On the surface, it appears that most people understand and believe that there is no “one” right way to potty train.

That means there is no wrong way to potty train.

More than one way to reach this ultimate goal.

“Since potty training itself is a non-moral activity, (it is a skill) it has no right or wrong value associated with it.”

(On Becoming Toddlerwise page 116).

But what about when difficulty creeps up?

Toddlerwise talks about three different approaches to potty training. One method takes 1-3 days. One takes 2-4 weeks. The final takes 4-6 months.

I think it is pretty easy to predict that most parents want to go for the first or second option. Potty training for 4-6 months does not sound enjoyable! But some might like the relaxed approach.

So you pick one. Say you pick method one, which is called Progressive Potty Training.

Now say your child doesn’t respond to that. Things don’g work over time and let’s say you end up on the 4-6 month path.

Child potty training

You Are Not a Failure

Now is when the freaking out starts to happen. This is the moment moms say, “What did I do wrong? Am I a terrible mother? What is wrong with me?”

Hold on! Take a breath! Let’s step back and review.

“Since potty training itself is a non-moral activity, (it is a skill) it has no right or wrong value associated with it” (On Becoming Toddlerwise page 116).

If this is a non-moral activity, then there is nothing wrong with you or your child if your ideal method doesn’t work out.

Sure, you probably misjudged. But that doesn’t mean you are a bad mom or that your child is doomed for failure throughout life.

There is no way you can know for sure which potty training method your child will best respond to.

And there are, of course, hundreds more ways to potty train beyond what is outlined in Toddlerwise.

Brayden and Kaitlyn were both potty trained in very, very different methods. Time has yet to reveal how McKenna will be potty trained.

Potty Training is an Amoral Activity

So while I know that potty training is stressful and that it is a huge milestone, try to relax.

I know, it is a big deal, especially as your child approaches age three. You start to feel the pressure.

But remember: amoral, amoral, amoral.

This has nothing to do with the character of your child. Take a deep breath and press forward.

“Since potty training itself is a non-moral activity, (it is a skill) it has no right or wrong value associated with it” (On Becoming Toddlerwise page 116).

Find the Best Method for Your Child

This also tells us we can use any method we choose to.

Do some thinking and research and figure out what you think is best for your child. You know him better than anyone.

Talk to moms about their methods. Find out what worked and what didn’t. You can even blend methods together as you see fit.

Choose a method that meshes well with your own personality circumstance. A progressive approach requires your full attention for a few days. Can you do that time-wise? Can you do that sanity-wise? If not, don’t choose that approach.

It also might not work out for you if you have other children you need to take care of. If that is the case, it is wise to choose a method that will be less intense.

Best of luck to you on this journey!

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Mom with daughter while potty training