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The first chapter in On Becoming Pre-Toddlerwise talks about different factors that will influence the evolvement of your child. Ezzo and Bucknam make a very important point: “your pretoddler is different than all others” (page 18).
Your child will have many unique variables that work together to form an experience no other child experiences. “The differences in each family will not allow for cookie-cutter solutions” (page 18).
What are some examples of differing variables? Experience of parents, number of children in the family, health of mom (pregnant?), health of dad, working status of mom, help and involvement from family members, activities, moves, new sibling, etc. There are so many unique variables that make up your unique family dynamic.
What does this all mean to you? It means that you, the parent, must become adept at understanding “Why” behind principles you believe in. You can’t constantly be searching for the “How” answer in what to do with your child because no one else has had that same situation with your same variables.
That isn’t to say you shouldn’t turn to other moms, books, and blogs ( 😉 ) for ideas. It does mean, however, that in the end, you need to make sure you are making the call, and you need to make sure that you understand why you are doing what you are doing, as well as your beliefs, goals, and values are. “Principles and goals do not change, but applications will be adjusted to meet the unique needs of our family” (page 19). In other words, “why” comes before “how.”
If you haven’t done so, please take the time to read the posts Why vs. How, Beliefs and Goals, and Problem Solving Using Beliefs, Goals, Why and How. Change Your Strategy is a good one, too. Oh, and Adjusting For Context. And let’s not look past How To Think. I am keeping today’s post nice and short so you can have some extra time to read at least one of these. Okay, go read.
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