Monday, December 22, 2008

Overstimulation for Toddlers

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It isn't only babies who can get overstimulated (see Overstimulation for more information on this topic). Toddlers on up to adults can become overstimulated. Think of the nights you have stayed up later than usual and have a hard time falling asleep, or nights you watched a movie that really interested you and made it harder to fall asleep. We all can become overstimulated.

The toddler can handle more information than the baby. For baby, everything is a new sensation. Toddlers are still taking in a lot of new sights, sounds, smells, etc., but they can handle more than the baby can. Toddlers have the ability to defend themselves from overstimulation. The toddler can wiggle out of his great-aunt's arms when she has become too much for him. He can go find a quiet room to play in when the large crowd assembled is just too noisy for him.

Here are some common causes of overstimulation in the toddler. You will find the list to be similar to that of the baby:
  • Too Little Sleep: Maybe your toddler got to bed the night before because you were at a family party. Perhaps his one nap of the day was cut short because you had a doctor appointment that cut into it. These things happen, but they do cause your toddler to become overstimulated. He can't handle as much when he is overly tired.
  • Too Much Activity: The holiday parties, family reunions, etc. can cause your toddler to become overstimulated.
  • Routine Disrupted: This is not only naps and mealtimes, but regular activities like independent playtime. Again, disruption to routine is a part of life, but it is a cause of overtimulation for your toddler.
So what does overstimulation look like for the toddler? Well, it isn't pretty. The overstimulated baby cries and has a hard time falling asleep. Most people take pity on the overstimulated baby and think he just looks so cute when his lip quivers like that. The toddler doesn't receive the same sympathy, and many disapproving looks can be cast on the parents as people assume the parent has a raised a spoiled brat. Most -wise children who are overstimulated act "normal" to the world, so much of the disappointment is felt by the parents since that is not how their little angel usually behaves. Here are some signs your toddler is overstimulated:
  • Obedience Dwindles: The other night we took dinner to some friends who just had a baby. At first both children were polite and well behaved. As the night progressed, the obedience digressed, especially in Kaitlyn (20 months) since she is less able to handle being overly tired than Brayden (3.5 years). I didn't realize the time. When we got out to the car, I saw that it was 30 minutes past Kaitlyn's bedtime. No wonder she had stopped listening. Toddlerwise talks about these situations and says, "It is not discipline that the child needs, but rest" (page 103). For some kids, it is as simple as not obeying as well as usual. For others, a tantrum is the symptom of this problem.
  • Irrationality Appears: Your toddler can become very irrational. Rules are no longer acceptable. He will not wait for what he wants. The normal expectations of parents suddenly seem very unreasonable.
  • Crying Reigns: Your child might cry. Crying usually accompanies a tantrum, but some will just cry.
  • Manners Depart: This is more obvious in the older toddler than the younger one; younger toddlers don't really have manners yet (though they might forget their please and thank yous). For Brayden, this can be a lack of hugs and kisses when departing from the grandparents or refusal to answer the questions of adults.
There are some things you can do to minimize the impact of these disruptions. You don't have to be as drastic as you did with your baby, but there are some strategies you can follow.
  • Adjust Your Expectations: Prepare yourself with extra measure of understanding and patience for your child. As stated above, this is not the time for discipline but for remedying the cause of the problem. The cause is being overly tired or overstimulated. When he doesn't respond to your instruction, patiently help him to do what is needed rather than getting flustered that he isn't listening to you. You need to carry this extra patience with you beyond just the day of disruption; give your toddler time to get back on track.
  • Maintain Routine As Possible: When Brayden was younger, independent play was very important to his overall level of obedience that day. I would try to have independent play before we went to visit people. This wasn't always possible, but I did it when I could. Sometimes when we are at a family party, he will remove himself from the large gathering to a room alone. I allow him to do this and have his time to himself. Often in these situations, we let our toddler wander at will. This is a prime opportunity for our toddler to get into mischief, so keeping some structure as possible will prevent discipline issues.
  • Maintain Sleep as Possible: While Brayden can now skip a nap while out, I still make sure Kaitlyn gets one. I take her pack and play and put her where I can. She will usually get a shorter nap than usual, but it is better than nothing.
  • Maintain Meals: It seems our family meals are always around 1 PM, which is 1.5 hours past the normal lunch time for our kids. I will either just feed them lunch at the normal time or give them at least a snack to hold them over. This works out because children often don't eat as well when there are a lot of things to do and people to see.
  • Have Breaks: I always try to have breaks between days of disruption. This isn't always possible, but I make every effort. So if Sunday is going to be disrupted, then on Saturday I keep naps, bedtime, meals, and other play activities consistent. I will do the same for Monday, watching for possible need of longer naps or earlier bedtime.
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Christie said...

Awesome post, extremely helpful as the Christmas season involves a lot of traveling and disruptions to routine. Thanks!!

Pasifik said...

detail and very helpful article...

Happy blogging,

Toddler Activity

Tanya Hebert said...

Thank you - this is fantastic!

Plowmanators said...

Thanks Christie. That is the whole reason I did it that day :)

Plowmanators said...

Thanks Pasifik!

Plowmanators said...

Thank you Tanya. You are welcome!

K said...

Great blog but you've heard that before! :) I wasn't sure where to post this comment and here seemed appropriate. I have a 1 year old who slept great through the night since 2 months. These past few weeks though, she has been crying briefly between 9-12pm and then resettles and goes back to sleep. I'm not sure if she is awake - I don't go in since she stops before I can. Sometimes, she cries at 4am and wakes and requires a bit of resettling. What do you think causes this - nightmares or night terrors? Is it normal? How do I help her? She's otherwise fine through the day and isn't at a major milestone. Thank you.

Plowmanators said...

If I remember right, nightmares happen in the last half of the night and night terrors are in the first half. If it were a night terror, though, you would know without a doubt and she wouldn't stop before you got there. The crying will last for several minutes.

Could be nightmares. I don't really know how to stop it other than talking to her about it (though that is likely not all that easy with a one year old) and being sure she isn't exposed to scary stimuli. Scary can be quite innocent for a one year old. If she watches tv, you might want to stop it.

My son would get night terrors if he was too hot or too cold, so check into those factors, also.

Tony and Ally Hawkins said...

Please help! I wasn't sure to post this, but I have run into a problem that I never expected. Most of our sleep problems have concerned our youngest child, now 11 months old and sleeping beautiful during naps and night time sleep. But now we're having trouble with our 3.5 year old at night. She's never had trouble sleeping through the night (12 hours)and on the rare occasion we did hear her crying we knew something was wrong and rushed in and put her back to sleep and she was fine. 2 nights ago she woke every 30 minutes from 11 - 4. It was exhausting! We don't let her sleep in the bed with us and she's not aloud to get out of her bed so we kept having to go in there because she was so loud. After the first 2 times we tried to let her cry it out but she's so loud and her brother's room in right next door. She is a very obedient child and has never done anything like this. It's like a temper tantrum, which she hasn't had since she was 2! She can't say what's wrong or what she's afraid of. I know that she doesn't want to be alone but it seems like she just likes the attention of us coming in there and is taking advantage of it. I want to comfort her, but I don't feel like she should be aloud to act this way. We've very stern with her, telling her it's time to go to sleep and we love her but she cannot be so loud (I don't mind the crying, it's the hysterical screaming that I can't tolerate) Last night, as soon as we started bedtime routine she started talking about being scared in her bed. We both went in and turned the lights and talked about how there's nothing to be afraid of, gave her a second nightlight (she didn't want it), prayed with her, read scripture about being afraid, sand a song about how big and strong God is, the works! You could just see it in her face, she was ready to scream as soon as we walked towards the door. We let her cry for 30 minutes until she fell asleept. Then an hour later she was screaming again. This continued again. It was better and less frequent but I don't know what to do to nip this in the bud. I want to comfort her, but I feel like this could be creating a huge problem! What do I do??? Please help!
Ally Hawkins


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