I mentioned a while ago that I was reading The Parenting Breakthrough after having a couple readers recommend it. I am loving it! In it, Boyack recommends making a plan for helping your children learn independence. She has several steps outlined to develop this plan, so I thought it would be fun for all of us to go through this together. You can make this plan no matter how old your oldest is, from living inside of you to still living at home. So, let's start with step one.
For step one, you pull out a piece of paper and write on it, "How I Want My Children to Turn Out." Boyack points out that few people actually make parenting plans, which is silly considering all that we plan out in life. So, on this paper, you make a list of things you want for your children. What are your goals? You might want them to be able to care for themselves. You might want them to be able to keep a job. You might want them to have integrity. A good work ethic. Whatever your goals, write them down. Be realistic. Also, keep in mind that this list will be dynamic--it isn't set in stone. So relax and just write what comes to mind.
So, take some time to make your list. Consult with your spouse. Think it over. We will talk more later about this.