I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas! What a wonderful time to reflect on the birth of the Savior of the world. I will be taking a break until the new year. Here is a video of the Nativity for you to enjoy. Merry Christmas!

Candy Cane Paint 

by Bath Activities for Kids

M&M Wreath

by Toddler Approved
*Note: we have tried this and really like it! 

Free Printable Gift Tags

by Lemon Squeezy

Ornament Wreath 101

by Pearls, Handcuffs, and Happy Hour

Nativity Pre-K Pack

by Over the Big Moon

*We have also done this and love it! Something like this is awesome to have printed out to pull out and give your child while you are doing something to prep for Christmas stuff.

Do you have favorite Christmas finds on Pinterest?

So how can you take this goal of losing weight and/or getting in shape (no matter what time of year it is) and make it a goal you meet? I have some ideas for you. But before you go on, I end referring to this article. I think it is so good,  I don't want you to miss it. If you get bored and stop reading, make sure you still go on to this article here: 5 Reasons Running May Not Help You Lose Weight.

Let me start by saying I am not the portrait of perfection when it comes to being in shape. I will tell you what I am, though. I am a mom. I am a mom who exercises every day but Sunday. I am a mom who has been exercising regularly like this for about four years. Before that, I was a hit and miss type. But four years ago I got serious and I got consistent. Before I got pregnant with Brinley, I was in pretty good shape. I am still working to get back to that post-Brinley. Over the past four years, I have learned some important things about exercising that I think should be common knowledge but for some reason aren't. So here are my tips to get you going.

1-Make it about being healthy.

Don't make your daily exercising about losing weight. Don't! It is about so much more than that. Exercise is good for you, whether you are losing weight or not. I have had months go by where I lost not a pound. Not a single pound. I kept going. And after some time, weight started to come off again. If I exercised in order to lose weight, I would have stopped long long ago. And I would have missed out on a lot. Make exercise about making your body healthier, not fewer pounds.

2-If you are just starting, expect it to suck.

Quite frankly, when you first make exercise a regular part of your life, it sucks for a long time! It hurts. It is hard. But  you will get stronger as you persevere. It will come. After I had Brinley, I had to build up a lot of my endurance again because I couldn't be as intense while pregnant (some people can, I couldn't). It didn't suck as much, so that is the good news (for more on exercising while pregnant, see this post). 

You might have friends who are exercising people who will say, "After a few times, you will be addicted and love it!" I have those friends. That is not what my reality was. I hated it for a long time. I dreaded getting up the next morning and exercising. 

Even this last summer, I started running with a friend. We ran MWF mornings. I dreaded it each Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday night for a couple of months. Then a switch hit and I loved it. That love and addiction will come. You will at the very least move out of dread and into "this is normal life." But it might take time. And that is okay. 

3-Make time for it.

You have to find a time that you will be consistent about exercising. I don't know what that looks like for you. I have written about this extensively in my post How I Do it: Exercise. Make it part of your daily routine--as much as getting dressed. Consistency is so important to meeting any goal you have in association with exercising, and so important to getting yourself to the point of tolerating it.

4-Be aware of fat vs. muscle.

We have all heard "fat weighs more than muscle." I remember hearing that when I was a teenager and thinking, "well I don't want muscle then!" But here is a visual. 

That is five pounds of fat versus five pounds of muscle. This is why you can not lose weight but can still look better and better over time. As you are building muscle, you might be adding weight to your body but you are removing volume. Be aware of this so as you are exercising and not noticing any difference, you can keep going! 

5-Take "befores."

You will be able to keep going if you are aware of what "before" was. Weigh yourself. Take measurements. Take photos. Whatever works for you, get that before documented so in six months when you feel like nothing has changed, you will have a quantifiable way to see it actually has.

6-Figure out what works for you.

I have one friend who says the only way he can lose weight is to limit his calories. No amount of exercise matters--the calories matter. I have another friend who says the only way she can ever lose weight is by running. Get to know your body and what works for your body. How much cardio do you need? How much strength training? How many calories can you eat? 

I have personally noticed that I lose weight best when I am doing at least 45 minutes of cardio a few times a week along with some strength training the other days of the week. I can't just do cardio. My cardio has to be a certain length of time. 

If I count calories, I can lose weight, but I hate it. When I am doing the exercise I listed above, I more naturally eat the right amount of calories. 

7-Drink lots of water.

Seriously such a simple and common piece of advice. Just do it.

8-Switch up exercises.

I hear this often enough I assume everyone knows this, but I am sure some haven't heard yet. You can't do the same thing day after day and continue to lose weight. You need to change things so it requires different things of your body. You can find lots of ideas on the internet. I have some on my Exercise board on Pinterest.

9-Burn some fissures.

A few months ago, I read this article that I think explained basic exercise in such a simple, perfect way. Everyone should know this. Read it. It will enlighten you. This is why trainers say that when it hurts is when it matters most. That is when you need to push through a little further. When you push, your muscles tear a bit creating fissures. Then your body burns more calories to repair those fissures and build new muscle. More muscle equals more calories burned day after day. Seriously read that article. 

Helpful Comments: 

"Advice for the weary - be consistent and one day your baby will hopefully nap better. Don't be disheartened by the many sleep 'success' stories of other Babywise Moms - there are those of us out here who still follow BW, but just have to wait a bit longer for our little one to nap consistently."

"We moved her to the swing to finish her nap (your suggestion). If she was just awake and happy we would leave her in the crib the finish the nap. The key for us was to have a minimum nap length where we stayed in nap mode even if she was awake. I believe this helped her body get used to the longer nap length."

"I think he was unable to self-soothe through the sleep cycle transitions. His naps improved after we stopped swaddling and he had access to his thumb AND was able to roll onto his tummy. He is much more able to self-soothe now that he has his thumb/rolling as "tools" in his little toolbelt."

"CIO midnap didn't help because she didn't cry--she just woke happy after 30 minutes and laid there awake for as long as you would leave her there."

"Three things [helped her sleep longer]. First, even when she was a short napper, we tried to gt her back to sleep. It often worked. Our methods were to re-insert her paci; if that didn't work, we would rock her in the dark room; we would also use the swing, which was in our living room. Second, we dropped the pacifier cold turkey at 3.5 months because we felt it had a negative impact on her sleep. We used the Baby Whisperer 4 S wind down and the shush-pat method to get her to go to sleep with no paci, and also at any sleep interruptions. Third, we made her room darker. I hung our largest, darkest quilts on her curtain rods. Ugly? You bet. Effective? YES! I later switched to tinfoil on the windows + blackout curtains and then to better curtain liners. Anyway, between 3.5 months and 4 months, we dropped the paci and made the room much darker; we were already using white noise so the three together did the trick."

"Biggest advice I give to parents is to try everything, but let go of the expectation that you will get a perfect textbook sleeper. I had to realize that "naptime" wasn't "me" time, or else I would be ANGRY at my child who wasn't asleep for x amount of time."

"What things did you try that did not help baby's naps get longer? In addition to CIO, I did try to put him in the swing or stroller, if he woke early from a nap, to see if he would go back to sleep. This worked occasionally, but very inconsistently. I also tried longer/shorter waketimes, white noise, dim room, too hot/too cold, etc. I ultimately decided not to worry about it, and simply tried to work my schedule around his short naps as best I could. I figured his wake times would eventually increase and it would work itself out on its own. I agree with waiting it out. "

" I learned to use her level of happiness vs. crankiness as my litmus test for how well-rested she was, instead of trying to make her fit into the normal Babywise mold."

" I hyper-analyzed every detail of her schedule (especially waketimes) and tweaked things constantly. I believe in troubleshooting for a while when faced with situations like this, but trying so hard to "fix" my child sometimes drove me crazy so that I was spending my time being discontent and missing out on the joys of having a baby."

See also: 

EATING

Eating is good and normal. Have I mentioned that she is a sugar-addict? She loves sugar, especially chocolate. Loves. You know the crazy thing? Brayden tasted some sugar at his first birthday, then not again until he was 18 months old. Just another difference between a first and fourth child. At least she still eats healthy food :)

PLAYING

Playing is also good.

SLEEPING

Brinley moved to one nap a day even on Sundays. She is quite flexible, so on Sunday we can put her down two hours early and she still takes a good nap. I don't know if that is because she is still young for one nap or if it is just how flexible she is. Time will tell. My best guess is it is her age. She definitely is a flexible person--she has been great through disruptions over the holiday season. So she definitely has flexibility going for her, but going down for a nap two hours early is pretty odd for a baby, so I am guessing it is mostly that she is young enough she can be tired enough for a nap at that point and partially that she is also flexible.

BOUNDARIES--TOUCHING

Remember how I was wondering how the whole Christmas tree thing would go? She has been awesome! She started by touching, then moved to just looking, and now she doesn't even seem to be tempted by it. She only took one day of reminders to get to be consistent enough I trusted her by the tree. 

SICKNESS

Brinley got another cold during this period. Sicknesses are so annoying! And I don't think she is sick that often, but it seems like every summary lately has had a section on her having a cold or some other sickness. 

These are all methods I use to stop a tantrum. I don't do each one each time and I don't do any special order. You kind of have to feel it out and go with what you think seems best at the moment. You will find some methods are more effective for different children or different ages.

Sometimes, even admist all of these awesome tools I just listed, your child will carry on with the tantrum. At that point, I tell the child it isn't okay. It is okay to be sad or disappointed, but it isn't okay to carry on and throw a tantrum. If the child wants to continue throwing a tantrum, it will have to be done on his or her bed.

The next time you encounter a tantrum, try some of these methods out. Always remember to remain calm--that is your best tool ever. 

For more posts on discipline, see:

• Discipline: Step-by-step Process
• Teaching Your Baby "No":http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/teaching-your-baby-no.html
• How to Set Boundaries
• Controlling the Young Temper 
• Discipline Methods: 10 Months and up
• Guidelines for Logical Consequences:
  http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/03/guidelines-for-logical-consequences.html
• 3 Reasons YOU Get To Be In Charge
• The "D" Word
• Frustration Tantrums
• Frustration Tantrums (the second)
• The "Mini-fit"
• Tantrums: Stop and Think
• Tantrums and Discipline:http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/tantrums.html
• Temper Tantrums
• Toddler Tantrums

Let rise and get frothy.

Then add:

• 1/4 cup oil
• 1/4 cup dough conditioner OR 3 T dough enhancer
• 1/2 cup gluten
• 1 T salt
• 12 cups whole wheat flour (when making bread, the exact amount of flour varies from day to day, so you might need less and you might need more. Also, we grind our own wheat. We use 8 cups of wheat to get the flour we need. We usually have extra; I save it for making rolls later in the week).

Put the dough into a greased bread pan. You just take a quarter of the dough (if you are doing four loaves) and form it into a cylinder that looks like a loaf of bread. 

Let raise. You don't want it to raise too much or it will "fall" and look all wrinkly on top. You let it go until it looks about the right size. This is usually under an hour, but the length of time depends on the temperature in your house.

Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes.

Once it is done, you can take a stick of butter and run it over the top if you would like. Do not let it sit in your bread pan too long--if you do it will get soggy on the bottom. I remove it after a few minutes and let it cool on a wire cooling rack.

How do you talk to an adopted child about their adoption story?

When it came to this particular topic concerning adoption, my husband and I simply discussed the matter and decided pretty quickly that we would openly talk about our girls’ adoption stories from a very early age so that there will never be a time in their lives when they are not aware of their adoption stories.

We came up with five ways we felt this could best be accomplished and, so far, we are seeing beautiful results in teaching our daughters their adoption stories in this way.

1. Tell them their adoption story when they are very young.

We desire for their stories to be familiar to them from the time they can even begin to slightly understand their adoption stories. We didn’t want this to be something that we formally tell them when they are old enough to understand the complete story. We don’t want the fact they are adopted to be a surprise to them. Instead we want them to begin having an understanding about being adopted at a very early age.

Our oldest daughter is 4.5 years old and it is amazing what she understands about her story. From the time she was about 2 years old, she knew that she “used to be in Mrs. Tracy’s tummy” and that was the extent to what she knew. She didn’t need to know any more than that at the age of two. She probably didn’t understand what that simple statement meant at that age either, but that was the foundational phrase we wanted to use to build her adoption story for her. We wanted her to never remember a time she didn't know that simple fact.

The way we introduced this statement was when she became curious about the pregnant belly. I cannot remember whose pregnant belly she asked about but I used her curiosity about the pregnant belly to have this simple conversation with her at around the age of two years old:

Me: (in reference the pregnant belly) Little Bug, did you know that you did not grow in Mommy’s tummy?

Little Bug: Why? (The “Why Stage” comes in real handy here!)

Me: You used to be in Mrs. Tracy’s tummy!

And that was all the information she needed at the age of two. I look at this phase of talking to my girls about their stories as the time when we are planting seeds to further discussions in the future.

2. Tell them details that are age-appropriate.

Those discussions will come! I can remember feeling nervous about this, wondering what I would say when Little Bug was ready to hear more.

We decided to simply tell her age-appropriate details, nothing more and nothing less. There are details about her story that are not appropriate for her to know at the age of four. However, as she gets older and grows into a young lady she will be able to handle learning about some of the more difficult and sensitive details about her story.

For now, we tell Little Bug the four-year-old version of her adoption and it goes something like this:

Mommy and Daddy prayed that God would put a baby in Mommy’s tummy. But God kept saying, “No!” Mommy and Daddy were very sad, but we trusted God. God created you and you were growing in Mrs. Tracy’s belly. Mrs. Tracy decided that we would be the best parents for you and when you were born she gave you to us so we could be your Mommy and Daddy. God knew all along that you would be our special baby girl.

That’s all she needs to know at the tender age of four. As she gets older, we will continue to build and expand on this foundational story that has already been planted in her heart.

3. Allow the child’s curiosity to spur adoption conversations.

We don’t press Little Bug to talk about being adopted. Most of our adoption conversations have been initiated by her. We don’t feel the need to constantly bombard her with “adoption talk” and instead take the approach of talking about her story whenever her natural curiosity desires to know more.

4. Don’t hide anything.

As our daughters grow up and may or may not want to know every little detail concerning their adoptions, we will hide nothing from them. It’s their story. They have a right to know and who better to tell them than us? I kept handwritten journals while we were going through both adoption processes. Those journals have very intricate details about things that happened along the way that I knew I would forget had I not written everything down. I imagine myself handing over my journals to my daughters one day and letting them read them at their leisure as they continue to put the pieces of their stories together, one by one.

We desire for them to both understand that in our family, their stories are not taboo; we are all willing to talk about anything, anytime. All they have to do is express interest in learning more and they will have access to every piece of information we have access to.

5. Focus on the redemption found in adoption.

Every adoption has a painful side. That is the very reason the adoption was necessary. Adoption is the result of some kind of crisis, most likely. There is also a beautiful side to adoption and we will choose to focus on that with our daughters. This does not mean we will neglect the painful aspects. That is not it at all. We will talk about the painful aspects of their adoptions but we will also be sure our girls understand God’s redemptive love that is evident in their adoptions for both us and their birth mothers. We will choose to focus on that.

Our Plan in Action

While at a Reunion in Beersheba Springs I was sitting on the couch and Little Bug was standing in front of me. As I was siting there I heard Little Bug start telling my mom’s classmate, “Mommy prayed for me to be in her tummy, but God didn't."

I immediately put my full attention on her to see where this was going to go.

Never before had I heard Little Bug use those words to tell her story. They were basically the exact same words I have been using for a couple years now to tell her her story!

The classmate said, “Well, you were in somebody’s tummy, weren't you?!”

And Little Bug enthusiastically replied, “I used to be in Ms. Tracy’s tummy” and then, with a big smile she turned to me where I was siting on the couch and said, “but this is my mommy!”

That was the extent of the conversation and Little Bug was on to something else but I sat there for a couple minutes, just amazed.

I don’t know what kind of emotions Little Bug may have to deal with later on in life due to her adoption, but I do know I have desired from the beginning to make her adoption be something positive and special in her life because that is the truth. It was something positive that happened in her life and I believe one day she will see the complete picture of why being adopted was such a positive event in her life.

I think for her four year old little mind, we are on the right path. The simple story God laid on my heart to tell her when she was just a toddler has taken root in her heart and I am beginning to see those results now as she is initiating adoption conversation to others.

Elaine blogs at God’s Faithfulness Through Infertility about infertility, adoption, Babywise, parenting and her new adventure of homeschooling her two daughters who were adopted via domestic infant adoptions.