Various Reader Questions/Requests Part II



  • susie said… I know this may sound selfish, but did you ever feel for your child’s first 2 years staying home all day was best for your child. We are on the 4 hour schedule and so going out in the evenings is a little easier. (due to only 2 naps a day). However, my daughter at 7 1/2 months is teething and not napping well. So I just feel it is best I stay home everyday, except the 2 days I work. Did you feel this way?
    April 11, 2008 5:35 AM
    Plowmanators said… yes, but I am surprised you feel selfish about that :). Most moms feel selfish for not wanting to stay home all day, not for wanting to. Doing what you think is best for your baby is in no way selfish. 🙂
    April 11, 2008 2:56 PM



  • momto3 said…
    I am on babywise baby #3. She is 51/2 months old and started 2 weeks ago waking again at night. Any thoughts??
    March 19, 2008 8:33 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    See this post:Nighttime Sleep Issues: Beyond those thoughts, I would wonder if she is either 1.going through 6 month growth spurt early or 2.reaching that age where they are more aware and so they awake more fully to check out their surroundings.
    March 20, 2008 11:03 AM
    momto3 said…
    I read through the blog you recommended. None of those issues seem to apply. We are going on almost 3 weeks of the nighttime waking. When she first started it, i fed her since we were traveling. But after a week and half of that, she started waking more than once. I just can not figure it out. I have tried shortening daytime waketime, adding cereal and staying close an strict with our sched. Any thoughts???
    March 22, 2008 1:02 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Have you tried shortening daytime napping instead of waketime? At your baby’s age, BW suggests shortening naptime if night wakings suddenly start for no other reason. How many naps does she have in a day? Most 5 month olds will have only 3.
    March 22, 2008 10:58 PM
    momto3 said…
    She takes 3 good naps still. The last nap ends around 5:30 or 6 and then bedtime is after her last feeding at 8:45 or 9. She then, before all this, slept till 8am.
    March 23, 2008 5:31 AM
    Plowmanators said…
    My next thought would be that perhaps you need to shorten the third nap. It is also possible that it is just a phase.
    March 24, 2008 9:37 PM
  • Becca said…
    I’ve been trying to implement babywise strategies basically since my 10 wk baby was born. in the past 2 weeks however I feel like his night sleep has gotten worse instead of better. before, he would take 2 night feedings (and the dreamfeed) with a waketime at 7:45. he’s moved up to 3 (sometimes 4!) night feedings. I don’t know what happened. Our day schedule is the same…the only difference is that CIO is over and he sleeps right away. I read that by now he should be sleeping 7-8 hours at night. The best he’s ever done is 5, but now it’s really every 2.5 hours. He takes a full feeding each time (except possibly when he wakes up for a 4th night feeding). Any ideas on what I’m doing wrong??Thanks so much for all your input!
    June 20, 2008 1:52 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Becca,Have you treated it like a growth spurt? There is often a growth spurt around 8 weeks. I would first do that, then see how it goes. See this post: Growth Spurts:
    June 23, 2008 2:31 PM
    Becca said…
    Plowmanators, Originally I did think growth spurt, but he’s been taking 3-4 night feedings (not including DF) for 3 weeks now. Can growth spurts last that long? If that’s what this is, it looks like we’ll move straight into the 3 mo. growth spurt with no break. I was hoping things would improve by now!He does still have nights where he feeds “normally” (2x), but at this point it’s pretty random. Even before all of this, the 5 hr. stretch happened maybe 2x and 4 hr stretches maybe a few times per week. Generally it was every 3 hr. I’m still waiting for those days to return. I went back and read that most naturally sttn by week 12. Looks like we’re a LONG way from that! I just want to make sure I’m doing everything possible to help him make it there!Thanks for your thoughts. It’s always nice to be reminded that others made it through!
    June 23, 2008 4:13 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Becca,I once asked my doctor how long a growth spurt should last, and he said there is no way to predict. But my guess would be that if he has been given extra food for that long, it isn’t a growth spurt.Are you breastfeeding? If so, I would check your supply. I don’t want to make you paranoid or anything, but that is another possible reason for him to be hungry for that long. Also, do you use a pacifier? If so, that might be the reason he is waking often. He also might just need more time to improve his self-soothing. It will come. It is funny, on my end, 10 weeks just doesn’t sound like a long time. But I remember when Kaitlyn was first born and thinking about how long it would be before she would possibly be sleeping through the night. It felt like an eternity!
    June 24, 2008 6:41 PM
  • Becca said…
    Plowmanators, Thanks so much for your response to my last concerns (June 23rd); I did look into your suggestions and found that my milk supply is ok and we don’t use a pacifier. The increased night wakings has never decreased and my lo is now 15 wks. I’ve been troubleshooting (temperature, diapers, cutting out last nap; dreamfeeds,…)using the info in your posts and just can’t find the reason for his waking. I’m thinking he hit a growth spurt, I fed him and then we were in close quarters with relatives for 2 weeks so I just kept feeding him when he woke (even past growth spurt) so it eventually became routine for him to wake. I did discover that he really isn’t hungry (but he will feed if I offer)… and could be comforted back to sleep w/o food…which I did all last week. So I decided to start CIO at night Sunday night. Problem is he wakes up 2-4 times at night and it’s just so sad to hear him CIO so many times at night. I moved his dreamfeed back to 11 pm in hopes it would keep him full longer and I do feed him and put him back to bed if he wakes up past 5 am but before waketime at 7:30. In reading comments it seems most CIO at night only once per night…have you ever heard of CIO more often in the night? I know it’s just day 3 and I probably should be tougher after succeeding CIO for naps, but it’s no easier to listen to his cries. Generally he cries between 20 minutes to 1 hour at each waking (with me checking on him every 20 minutes). I know he’s just exhausted. Di you think it’s wrong for me to do CIO at each waking?? If there’s any other solution I’m all ears. I know that he will benefit from better sleep though and will do what it takes. Thanks so much for your input.Becca
    July 30, 2008 5:04 PM
    Becca said…
    I just realized how long my last comment was…sorry about that I should have been more concise…we now have an additional hitch to CIO at night…rolling over. We were finally making improvement at night and now this. I think it’s accidental since he never does it during the day. I can’t imagine quitting CIO but feel bad that it’s an additional thing to learn in the midst of CIO. I read “sleep disruptions” and figure I just have to wait it out; any additional thoughts?? Thanks so much!
    August 2, 2008 1:57 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Becca,It sounds like a tough situation. If you want to try soothing without CIO, I would look into the Baby Whisperer. She has a method for teaching self-soothing that doesn’t require CIO. IT does require a lot of effort on the part of mom/dad, though. It might be worth a shot. Until he can learn to get back over, it will be a problem . It sounds like he just needs some consistency. This were disrupted for a long time and he needs to re-learn what things are like. Good luck!
    August 3, 2008 3:30 PM


  • Christie said… I know this is unrelated to this post, but could you give me some tips to encourage my 13 month old to walk? She is not walking yet, beginning to worry…:)
    August 25, 2008 11:12 AM
    mmonfore said… Val, I hope you don’t mind me offering my advice, but sometimes I can’t help myself. Christie, do not worry about a 13-month-old not walking. My older son didn’t walk until 14 months and my neighbor’s baby was 15 months. I didn’t walk until I was 18 months. 18 months is definitely on the late side, but at 13 months I wouldn’t worry at all. For us it was just that he didn’t realize he could stand on his own. He fell to the floor when I put him down. One day, he stayed standing and from that day on he was walking. A little light bulb went off.
    August 25, 2008 11:27 PM
    Plowmanators said… Christie, I wouldn’t worry at 13 months. If you are really worried, talk to your pediatrition. My daughter didn’t take her first steps until 15 months and didn’t become a real walker (where she walks basically all the time) until 16 months. With my daughter, I would have practice sessions. For her it was mental. for some reason she was afraid of getting hurt even though she never had. My efforts might have helped (and the cheering definitely helped), but really it happened when she decided she was ready. August 28, 2008 9:18 PM


  • Kate said…
    I have 2 schedule questions1. My daughter is still eating ever 2.5-3 hours. If she wakes up early from a nap during a normal 3 hr feeding is it okay to go ahead and feed her at 2.5 hrs or should I try to keep the same feeding schedule every day. (of course if she acts starving and can’t be calmed I feed her)

    2. During the first half of the day she can only be awake 1 hour before she takes a nap. If she wakes early, say 12:30 instead of 1and I still feed her at 1 is it okay to lay her down before 2 or should I try to keep to the nap time on a normal day and hold her off until 2?Thanks, hope you’re having a fun trip!
    April 22, 2008 12:38 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Kate,1. It is fine for you to wait a bit after she wakes (assuming she is older than 6-8 weeks). See this post: Eat/Wake/Sleep Cycle: You could do a combo of having her be awake for 15ish minutes after she wakes and then feeding her 15 minutes early. But yes, it is okay.

    2. If she can go down at normal nap time and still sleep well, then do that. If she is tired or if she doesn’t nap well, put her down early. Some babies will sleep until the normal wakeup time to make up for the shortened earlier nap.
    April 23, 2008 10:50 AM

  • heather said… It seems like I have seen a post before where you gave a sample of your schedule by months. I’m wondering how a day looks when you drop to two naps. Could you remind me of where to find the post on your daily schedule? Thanks!
    May 19, 2008 8:02 PM
    Plowmanators said… Here are the links Heather: Sample Schedules : Sample Schedules: One Year and Up :
    May 20, 2008 10:47 AM
  • Jordan & Nikki said…
    We have a 10 1/2 week old & for some reason, I am really struggling to get a schedule with her. She is at the 95th percentile for weight, so very healthy. At 9 weeks she had a 3 to 3.5 hour schedule; so I pushed back to a 3 hour schedule to firm up the nighttime and remove that feeding. It worked for two nights – 8 hours of straight sleep. Then, for the last 3 days, she routinely wakes up at exactly a 1 hour nap – isn’t really hungry, but is livid until I pick her up. Once I have her, she immediately calms down & is pleasant. I figured it was just a form of the 45-minute intruder & restarted her cycle. Then I questioned my milk supply (I BF); yet, there is still plenty of milk when she refuses to eat more. A few weeks from birth, I quickly found out that she needed to be asleep by 1 hour of waking. We’ve continued that, but now with the 1 hour naps, that puts us at a 2 hour cycle! After 3 days of a 2 hour cycle I am completely baffled…what in the world is going on?! The last thing I want is an inflexible, difficult child…so I am bound and determined to figure anything out now! Any and all suggestions would be appreciated…I’ve read the blog entries & evaluated our log…but maybe I’m missing something!
    June 9, 2008 2:16 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Nikki,It might just be one of those bumps in the road that comes along. If so, push through. I will suggest some posts that I think can help in case you haven’t read them:
    Naps: Troubleshooting:
    Waking Early From Naps/Won’t Fall Asleep For Naps:
    Getting a Consistent Schedule:
    June 11, 2008 10:16 AM
    Jordan & Nikki said…
    Thanks for the advice. I think my problem was that when her daytime schedule seemed off, I reverted to nighttime feedings and dropped “sleeping through the night.” I started it anew that night & although it was a very rough first night, the next night had only one waking & she fell asleep on her own in 10 minutes. We are now back to a normal day schedule. Consistency is the key – even when there are bumps in the road! A principle forgotten, but now doubly reinforced.
    June 11, 2008 3:58 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    I am glad you got if figured out. Consistency is key 🙂
    June 11, 2008 10:51 PM
  • The Brace Family said… hi there! getting ready to have #2 and loved reading this our children will be almost the same apart…23 months. we have a boy and are expecting a girl on the 11th of Aug. do you have the schedule for right when you get home from the hospital for feeding? pattern? eat,wake, sleep right? what about 2nd week.thanks for this!!!
    July 25, 2008 11:03 AM
    Plowmanators said… Brace Family, Kaitlyn was in the NICU, so she was on a 3 hour schedule there. She came home and continued that way for several weeks. With newborns, they are so sleepy that you basically set the schedule. I would choose what you want to do to work around the older child’s schedule. It is eat/wake/sleep, but you often only have waketime long enough to feed and change diaper. For the first week, you can definitely do no more than the pattern if needed, and if you have hte luxury of help with your older boy. Good luck! It is so fun.
    July 28, 2008 11:34 AM
  • Kim said…
    Hi there,My son is 19 weeks old. He has been on a 3 hour schedule for several months. His schedule is:7am- nurse8am- nap10am- nurse11am – nap1pm- nurse2pm – nap4pm- nurse5-6pm- I try to put him down for a nap but he usually will not go to sleep. So I end up just trying to get him to hold out until as close to 7 as possible.6:30-7pm – nurse7:30pm – Because he didn’t have that last nap he usually is exhausted by this time so I put him to bed.10pm- nurse then straight back to bed.I have been wondering if I should start him on a 3 1/2 hour schedule. Also wondering if I should drop the dreamfeed and should I start dropping that 4th nap. If I want to do these things, should I do them all at once? Should I stagger them? And if so, which should come first? If I drop that 4th nap which seems to have already happened, how should I adjust the schedule? Is it okay that the waketime after the 6:30-7pm feeding is so short? How do I change that? I am sorry to bombard you with so many questions but I just am not sure what route to take.Thank you so much for your constant help!You are a lifesaver!
    November 2, 2008 3:21 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Kim, definitely stagger. I would do things in this order if he is ready:1-Drop 4th nap 2-Drop Dreamfeed 3-Extend scheduleSee the blog labels (on the left side of the page). See Dropping Naps, Dreamfeed, and Four Hour Schedule. Those should answer all of your questions.
    November 10, 2008 3:31 PM


  • Charlotte said… My 6.5 month old son is recently experiencing separation anxiety and now wails every time I put him to bed. He is still sttn but cries for 30-45 minutes until I calm him down. He gets so worked up that he no longer can calm himself down. How long is this going to last and what can I do to help?
    September 26, 2008 9:10 PM
    Plowmanators said…
    Charlotte, I unfortunately don’t have any experience with separation anxiety. From what I have read, I don’t think it will last a really long time, but could be 2-4 weeks (maybe more). I would be sure he has a long enough waketime before bed (and conversely that it isn’t too long), that he has a good, predictable routine before bed, that he has independent playtime, that dad spends good, quality time with him each day and helps with his care…then just hang in there! But I would also go to perhaps and read up on separation anxiety and see if there are any good tips there.
    September 29, 2008 11:23 AM

Leave a Comment