Babywise Mom Debate Policy

Valerie Plowman

Overall, I really haven’t had a problem with people commenting on this blog with rude comments.

To those who find this blog, don’t like it, and move on, thank you.

There are, however, a select few who feel the need to comment.

A couple of days ago, I had my first commentator who was really rude–rude to everyone from Gary Ezzo to me to other readers.

Now, really, one person like this in over two years is not bad at all. Even so, this isn’t something I want to have to deal with in the future.

Friends who read the comments and my responses have given me some ideas for dealing with people like this in the future. I have come to this conclusion. My debate policy. Here it is.

I am not a afraid of debating. In fact, I quite enjoy it. I studied it in college and growing up learned from the master, my father. I am also quite good at it.

However, the point of this blog is not for debating. It is for helping people.

I would rather not spend my time debating with people. I have lots and lots and LOTS of more important things to do.

If I want a good recreational debate, I will visit my parents, sit down with my dad, and talk politics.

My thoughts and feelings on Babywise are quite obvious and quite apparent. There are thousands of pages worth of posts on this blog to tell you how I feel and why I love it.

From now on, any comment posted that is rude or looking for a debate will be deleted (by me) immediately.

I am fine with sincere questions (but please do not patronize).

Anything seeking trouble will be deleted immediately without question and without response.

If you really, reeeaaallly want to debate with me, you can look under the blog label “myths,” read what I have to say, and then talk to the open air in rebuttal.

You can even write it down. Have a pretend debate with me. Go nuts. But do not try to antagonize me or my readers. I am afraid it will not work.

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32 thoughts on “Babywise Mom Debate Policy”

  1. I agree wholeheartedly with your "debate policy". Don't even give these people the time of day. Thank you so much for all your help and encouragement. I am so glad that I found this blog when my DD was 4 months of age. It has helped so much. I might have given up Babywise without it. Amy

  2. I just came across your blog and am starting at the very beginning and reading my way through every single post. I am so encouraged by this blog. I love the Baby Wise books! My son is two months old and has followed the book to a "T" so far. We've had some hiccups, but that's what I love about reading your blog. It's so encouraging and helps me get through these hiccups. Thank you for all you do!

  3. I am a new mom, my daughter is just over 4 months old. I read Baby Wise and began the "program" with her when she was about 6 weeks old. I swear by the methods outlined in the book and will NEVER got to a baby shower again without a copy of this book for the mom-to-be. I have silently followed your blog for the past couple of months and use it as a reference guide for when certain situations arise (like the crazy 4 month issues and the 45 minute intruder!). I am a big fan and I am very grateful for all of the time and effort you have put forth on your blog. I think the decision you have made about your debate policy is 100% acceptable. I personally believe that if one doesn't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. You are right that one rude comment in 2 years of posting isn't bad, but it is still counter productive to your goal of this blog. Try not to let it bother you. I am sure all of your followers will support your decision.

  4. Wow. Just a big THANK YOU for all you have done for me. As a new mama, your blog was like my Bible for the first few months. I deeply appreciate the time you take to share with me (and others!) of your wisdom and experience. Be encouraged that you have given SO MANY a peaceful night's sleep. 🙂

  5. Just wanted you to know that I stumbled across your blog several months ago after having read Babywise. I find your information to be very helpful. My little boy is almost 6 months old and I frequently turn to your blog for questions I have that weren't exactly "covered" in the "wise" series. It's a blessing to have a "veteran mom" to turn to for advice. I have recommended your blog to several friends who are also using Babywise. I'm sorry you received negative feedback…but just remember that for every person who is negative, there are many other's, like me, who are reading your blog and appreciating the advice that you give. The only question I have is how do you find the time with 3 children?? I have 1 and don't know that I would have the time 🙂 Thank you so much for your advice! It's invaluable!

  6. OOOOoooo… somebody done made Val mad :-). Really, dont you think that some people who want to debate are in part envious that it works so well? Anyways, good for you. There are chat rooms for people to debate. This is a source of encouragement and information. And i'm unbelievably grateful for it, and for you.

  7. sorry you had to deal with a rude person. Personally, I follow some BabyWise and some not. I don't agree with all of it but that's my deal. Attacking you for your thoughts or methods is such waste of time and not productive at all. Some people just can't keep things to themselves I suppose. Your policy is good, although I'm dying to know what the rude person said 🙂

  8. I love your blog! I have turned to it when I had questions and have an AMAZING little 6 month old sleeper and eater. So Thank You so much and just realize when people are rude to you it is only because they are jealous.

  9. Hi, I love your blog! Its a much better resource then Baby Wise books. I do not agree with everything they say, and was quite frustrated with a lot of their material. ON THE OTHER HAND, I am eternally grateful for the time and effort you put into putting such a comprehensive help tool for mommies. THANK YOU.

  10. I think this is in response to the person who told me to burn the book. This is the way I see it – I have my reasons for using Babywise (my sister has 3 extremely well-behaved kids after using Babywise) and some digruntled person who feels the need to make a rude comment just has too much time on their hands. People can say what they want, I know it works. By the way, my LO has only woken up once a night for three nights in a row! My change from 3 to 2 1/2 hour schedule worked. I also added some cluster feeding toward the end of the night thanks to your blog. Woo hoo for victories! One step at a time…

  11. Actually I have wondered in the past how you deal with "those" type of posters. I just assumed that there were crazy people who have attacked you before, so I am glad to hear that there have only been a few. I mean, I know that I have been attacked for using Babywise before…I think it is fairly common. But to add to a previous poster's comments, I also think you have been waaaaayyyyy more helpful to me than the actual BW book itself, so…..have you ever thought of writing your own book? And please tell me that you get compensated in some way for writing this blog! You invest so much in others, you need to reap some dividends! Much love to you!Tami

  12. I have to agree with the previous posters, your blog has been like "Babywise in Action" for me and my husband. You have helped us immensely – THANK YOU for that. I think your Debate Policy is great…now if I could only implement that in real life when my non0BW friends try to stir the pot! Thanks again for keeping up with this amazing blog.

  13. Val, Thank you again for your blog. I like your debate policy. Selfishly, I am glad this means you won't be taking the time to fend off anti-babywise comments but instead continuing to post your AWESOME babywise advice and information. 🙂 You are the best!

  14. Yes, Val, you should write a book. I always tell my friends about this blog, then I say something like, "Yeah, this lady is going to write a book some day or be famous and I'll get to say I was on her blog way back when." No joke.

  15. I think you should write a book, too, even though your blog is a lot of rehash of BW and Baby Whisperer. (Personally, I am a Baby Whisperer Momma, not a BW one).Your site has been so helpful. There is not STTN yet… not at 5 months… but I think just reading about babies who do is helpful! And, I've learned to take it as a personal compliment when people say my baby is just SO GOOD and SO Calm. I know its because I have monitored his routine so well that he hasn't had the time to get fussy!

  16. Yes, you should not have to deal with people like this. If they don't agree with the stuff on this blog, why can't they just keep their mouth shut and move on? Your blog has helped me in so many ways. I have read babywise, but watching it be put into play by you has made things so much clearer. I have a girl one week younger than McKenna, and she is my first, so I have been able to compare things with you to see what I should be doing as far as sleeping, eating, waketime…etc. So thank you because you put a lot of time into this blog which helps all of us readers out immensly! THanks!

  17. Amy, I am really glad she chose to be rude to someone who was firmly in place and has good support system (like your sister)! And hurray for victories!

  18. Tami,I actually have thought about writing a book and have started! But I need to find the time to put more effort into it. A little over a year ago, a reader told me I needed to sign up as an amazon associate since I was linking things to amazon, so I did. So when people click through the blog to buy stuff on amazon, I get a percentage (you know, a few cents–but each thing adds up 🙂 ). So I get that. Does that count as compensation 🙂 ?

  19. I love this blog! and I love a lot of Babywise principles. My question is: how do you handle criticism from Babywise haters and Attachment Parenting people? Especially… if they're in your ward?

  20. This debate policy is so instructive to this 52-yr-old! I'm getting wimpy in my old age, but you have given me a backbone. The Ezzo series gave my family hope and direction back in the 1990's. I have six mostly grown children who love and honor us because of the principles laid down in (then) Growing Kids God's Way. Stay strong. You're doing great work, like you say, you just want to help people, you're not making a proposition to be defended. You're sharing what helped you, which is what I intend to do unashamedly from now on, thanks to you. :)Also, GKGW should have been called Growing Parents God's Way… God used it heavily in my own sanctification, learning respect for others, etc. especially respect for my children.


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