How to wean a baby from breastfeeding. Week by week process for gentle weaning. Also find troubleshooting tips and common questions.
I just finished weaning Kaitlyn from nursing. With Brayden, I was completely thrilled to wean him since nursing was such a battle to get him to eat rather than look around the room constantly. With Kaitlyn, however, I was sad. She was such a good nurser. Alas, I had to wean her when I did because my husband and I are going on vacation without our kids.
Yes, there are good things about nursing. I will have more freedom. When my husband and I want to go out to dinner, we can leave before her final nursing or be out past her final nursing. When she sleeps over at Grandma’s house, she can have her milk as soon as she gets up and I won’t have to be there at 7:30 AM sharp. If we are running errands, she can have her milk on the go instead of us stopping or coming home to nurse her. Yesterday we went to the park for lunch. I got her up and we just left–I didn’t have to nurse her first. I say these things just to make myself feel better :).
Kaitlyn weaned very easily. Here is a rundown of how we did it.
WEEK ONE: I dropped the 3rd nursing (happens at 3:30). Since she was not quite 12 months yet, she had formula instead. The first day, I fed her a 4 ounce bottle, then followed it up with nursing. I knew she wouldn’t nurse as much as usual and I wasn’t sure if she needed more than 4 ounces. I also knew this would take some of the edge off so I could more gradually decrease my milk supply. This week I was the most engorged. It pretty much took a full 7 days to get comfortable. It wasn’t as bad as when milk comes in, but not comfortable.
WEEK TWO: I waited a couple of days past me getting comfortable (from engorgement). Then I dropped the lunch time nursing (happens at 11:30). She continued to not mind in the least. In fact, after a few days of this she started to sign “milk” to me (which around here means milk in a cup, not in mommy) when it was time to nurse. We got through that, though, and she continued to nurse just fine. This week only took me about 3-4 days to physically get completely comfortable in regard to engorgement.
WEEK FOUR: I dropped the final nursing. It has only been a couple of days–I dropped it last Sunday and today is Tuesday. I am slightly uncomfortable; I assume it will take a day or two more to get more comfortable. Last night I could sleep on my belly for the first half of the night for the first time in a year and a half! For a tummy sleeper, this is exciting. Another perk to weaning. I haven’t leaked milk at all during the weaning process.
Post Contents
Weaning from Breast Troubleshooting
I have a friend who is weaning from breast right now and is experiencing a couple of difficulties. I thought I would share my responses to those.
Engorgement
While I do have pain and/or discomfort when my milk comes in, I have few problems when weaning. Not all women are so lucky, though.
- Your obvious methods for drying up milk. Cabbage, tight sports bra, etc. I wouldn’t use cabbage in excess until you are ready for milk to be gone, though.
- Compresses.
- Pump enough to alleviate pain.
- Take it more slowly. I mentioned this in my In Action: Weaning from Breast post, but here it is again. Something I did with Kaitlyn was I would feed her 4 ounces and then follow up with nursing for the session I was dropping. I did that the first day. You could do that for a few days and take it slower. You could then slowly add ounces and decrease nursing amount. That might help your body adjust more easily. So, say you were dropping the lunchtime nursing. I would prepare 4 ounces (or whatever amount you know will leave your child wanting more). Feed that to him, then follow up with nursing. Your child will nurse, but not long enough to create a full feeding. Do that for a couple of days, then increase the prepared ounces and decrease the length of the nursing. This way, your body can slowly adjust.
Child Resistance
Some children have an affinity for nursing, especially right before bed. Brayden sucked for comfort before I started Babywise at 9 weeks. Kaitlyn has never been a comfort nurser.
- Prevention. Try to avoid nursing becoming a soothing ritual. Avoid nursing right before bed. While this is easy to do for your first three feedings, many “top off” right before bed. If this is you, change your routine. Nurse and then do PJs and story and whatever you do. With Kaitlyn, her final nursing of the day came 45 minutes before she actually went to bed.
- Drop the favored nursing session last. By that point, he might be ready for it to go. This was the case with Brayden.
- Hold him while he drinks his milk. I hold my kids for a few months past weaning to ensure we still get that quiet cuddle time together. This is already a time of day you are used to sitting down and holding your child. With Brayden, it was the only time he would hold still. Kaitlyn loves to be cuddled and held, so she enjoys me holding her and feeding her.
- Something you might try is doing a bottle at the favored feeding for now. I did that with Brayden. After he had been weaned completely for a couple of weeks, I started the weaning from the bottle. It was all very smooth and seamless.
Reader Questions
Sarah: I’m seeking your thoughts regarding my daughter’s post-weaning behavior. We have been Babywise-ing since she was born, so breastfeeding was not used to soothe her and we have been on a good feeding schedule. I spent about a month weaning her. I gradually reduced nursing duration as well as number of feedings per day. She is 12.5 months old. The last time I nursed her was 1.5 weeks ago. Almost immediately, she started sucking her thumb more (she used to only suck if she was hungry or tired.) I’ve even caught her pulling her hair (while thumb sucking) about five times. I offer her cow milk and water throughout the day, so she’s not thirsty.Did your kiddos’ behaviors change when they were weaned? How concerned do you think I should be about the thumb sucking and hair pulling? I’m feeling guilty that I have caused her some kind of stress or anxiety with this change.
Babywise Mom: Sarah,I don’t think there was any change in my kids’ behavior, but it does make sense. She will be sucking on something soothing less, so it makes sense that she would suck on her thumb more. See if you can find some way of offering comfort to her. She might be one who likes physical touch, and often with weaning comes less cuddle time overall throughout the day. If so, she might like to sit and cuddle. See the love languages blog label for more ideas on showing love.
Oh, another thing, remember that correlation doesn’t mean causation. She might be sucking her thumb and pulling hair for some other reason. I haven’t ever had this question before, so it obviously isn’t common. She might be sick or something, so do be on the lookout for other possible causes for the behavior.
Rachel: Question: I’m interested in weaning my strictly breastfed 9 month old baby. (She occasionally takes a sippy cup of juice or water.) My goal has always been to nurse for 1 year, and to have my child completely weaned by her first birthday, but I’m feeling a little too ‘tethered’ lately, and am anxious for some flexibility in my schedule. My baby nurses before solid foods at 8am, 12pm, and 4pm and has a nighttime feeding at 7pm before bed at 8pm. I’m curious to know if I can wean her from the 12pm and 4pm feedings for the next three months without giving up the nighttime and morning feedings. Will I be able to maintain my milk supply? Or should I just try to pump for the noon and 4pm feeding for the next three months when I do need the flexibility. (I just hate pumping though.)AND what would be the big deal if I didn’t make it to the year mark anyway?? THANK YOU for your help!
Babywise Mom: Rachel,I think it is pretty well accepted that the longer you can breastfeed, the healthier your baby should be. But you are farther than most people even get. Do what works for your family.As for if your milk supply would stay up, there is no way to know. Some women can maintain it. Those who do “extending breastfeeing” past one year often only feed 1-2 times a day from the breast. So it works for some.But not for all. So if you want to still nurse twice a day, I would be prepared to need to pump at least one time a day, possibly twice. A nice thing about that is that you could give her the breastmilk in a bottle/sippy and she would still get the benefits of breastmilk 🙂
Reader Advice and Tips
Amanda said: ” Go as long as you can. I would have kept going if I had the supply [stopped at 14 months]. Also if you’re trying to wean the bedtime nursing, have someone else put baby to bed for a week or so until baby realizes they won’t get it anymore.”
Rachel said: “Highly advise dropping one feeding at a time. It was much easier, I think, than going cold turkey… both for baby and for myself.” Give extra cuddles if fussy.
Naomi said: “Pregnancy was a great time to wean because I didn’t have to deal with the engorgement. The downside was she clearly remembered nursing and was very jealous of her brother nursing when he was born (I decided not to tandem nurse but you could avoid the jealousy that way).”
Sally said: “Everyone tells me it’s easier when the baby decides to stop feeding although I felt emotional!”
Katie said: “Follow your gut. If you want to nurse longer, do it!”
Jessie said: ” Do it slowly so your body will adjust and feel free to adjust your time line as needed to accommodate vacation, illness, etc.”
Ariana said: “Substituting other bonding activities (snuggling, book reading, talking together) helped both of us not miss it.”
bamathews2 said: “For his morning nursing session, I would always bring him to my bed and we would snuggle and play afterwards. So for a few weeks after weaning, I would make his sippy of cow’s milk and still bring him to my bed to drink it, so that we still had that special time together.”
Margaret said: “Don’t feel guilty for stopping when it works for you and baby. You’ll miss it, but snuggles can make up for it and you can still feel close to baby.”
Heather said: “Do what’s best for you and your baby not what you feel is expected of you or what others think is best. Before quitting because of difficulties see an LC, check for tongue tie, lip tie, do weighted feeds, etc to see if there’s some troubleshooting that can be done.”
Alena said: “Babywise is helpful in this, as usual!”
April said: “A gentle wean worked very well for us.”
Jess said: “switching from bf to formula feeding when you wanted to bf can make you feel like a failure. IT IS NOT A FAILURE. Much better to be happy feeding your baby what he needs than constantly being worried and stressed and never enjoying those moments when you are “stuck” nursing.”
Ashley said: “Enjoy it! It is so much hard work, but it is precious beyond words. Don’t stress if baby or you wants to wean. Breastfeeding is a great source of nourishment for your baby, but if you aren’t able to or baby isn’t interested, you’re not a failure. smile emoticon Give yourself grace and realize you’re a great mom whether you breastfeed for 12 months or 12 days.”
Jolene said: “If at all possible, go slow! Easier on both of you.”
Lydia said: “I definitely would recommend a gentle wean. Going cold turkey was not easy for me at all.”
Janalin said: ” I do think having a spouse as an active participant is really helpful. He can distract baby much easier than mom can.”
Stacy said: “Unless you have a need to quit immediately/cold turkey, dropping one feeding a week or even moving slower than that will make the process more acceptable for your body and baby.”
Katie said: “Don’t be afraid to ask for help, look for signs of tongue ties/upper lip ties, formula is NOT poison (even though I have had someone tell me that). Feeding your baby by breast or bottle makes you an awesome mom because you are feeding your baby and taking care of him/her.”
Nicky said:”Don’t feel pressured to wean until you (and your baby) are ready. I had a lot of pressure from my family to wean him well before his second birthday. We were just not ready. But, I am glad that we picked our timing, and when worked for us. We are still close, and have an amazing bond. I still rock with him several times a day … instead of mama’s milk, he asks for rocky-rockies.”
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