Got a newborn who keeps falling asleep mid-feeding? You’re not alone. Learn how long to work at waking your sleepy baby, when to let it go, and why the occasional missed feeding isn’t the crisis it feels like in the exhausted newborn haze. What do you do when baby just won’t wake up to eat when it is time for a feeding? How do you get baby to wake up and what point should you be worried?
It doesn’t seem right, does it?
Not only are you super tired from taking care of a newborn, but even during the feeding sessions–a moment when you might relax for give or take 20 minutes–you have to work like crazy to keep that little baby awake. You can’t just doze off while baby eats. You need to be alert and attentive.
It does get better. Baby eventually gets better at eating and better at staying awake, and you will be able to let your mind wander, read a book, or watch a show…whatever suits your fancy.
But you are not there yet. You are still working on it.
What do you do at these times when you are struggling to feed your sleepy newborn?
How To Keep a Sleepy Newborn Awake for Feedings
Start by trying to keep your little one awake during feedings. It isn’t fun, but it allows your baby to take a full feeding AND it prevents your baby from taking power naps during the feeding. Power naps just disrupt your routine and make it harder for baby to take the next nap.
There are a couple of posts on this blog that provide ideas for keeping baby awake during the feeding. Head on over to those posts to get the ideas. Read Keeping a Newborn Awake During Feedings for help!
When Will Baby Stay Awake for Feedings
In The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems
, Hogg states that bottle-fed babies are less likely to fall asleep while eating once baby is 6.5 pounds (page 99).
She explains that a breastfed baby falls gets sleepy after about 10 minutes of eating because of the oxytocin in the milk. She says premature and jaundiced babies are also likely to fall asleep while eating.
We all know how important it is to keep baby awake to eat if we believe in The Baby Whisperer or Baby Wise. We are looking for baby to get full feedings.
“…if the sleepy-baby pattern continues for more than three feeds, you might be accidentally turning your baby into a snacker”.
(page 99)
You also will likely teach baby to need to eat to fall asleep and will make it hard to establish a routine.
But sometimes, despite your best efforts, your baby JUST WILL NOT WAKE BACK UP.
With McKenna, I often faced the feedings where she would zonk out after feeding for about ten minutes. Hogg says to spend only 10-15 minutes trying to wake baby at that point. After that point, the oxytocin will be in full effect and she will be in the sleep part of her cycle.
I know some of you are having mini panic attacks when your baby doesn’t take that full feed or falls asleep while eating.
You are concerned about ruining her for life. You want to “start as you mean to go on” and you want to avoid starting bad habits. You want to stick to that schedule.
Take a deep breath. Relax. It will all be okay.
Just expect and accept that there will be feedings that the baby will not stay awake for.
I really like Hogg’s advice to try for 10-15 minutes and then move on with the day. That means you try for 10-15 minutes if baby fell asleep eating, then go about your schedule as normal.
Do not fight it longer than 10-15 minutes.
This gives mom a timeline. Work at it for that long, then move on and try to move on without the stress.
All of my babies have fallen asleep during feedings. All of my babies have had times they didn’t take a full feed because they fell asleep before they were done eating. Two of them wouldn’t start a feed when I wanted her to (notice I said her; I never had that issue with Brayden).
And you know what? I think all of my kids are pretty darn awesome. We all made it out okay. We are all happy and healthy today. I survived to tell the tale.
You will be fine.
Your baby will be fine.
Work for 10-15 minutes and then move on.
Let your baby sleep and try a full feed at the next feeding time.
What To Do When Baby Just Won’t Wake Up to Eat
Trying to get your baby to stay awake for feedings is one battle. Trying to get your baby to wake up for a feeding is a whole other battle.
I have definitely experienced those feedings where you couldn’t get baby to finish out that feeding. With Katilyn, I often had feedings where I couldn’t even get her to start eating, much less finish.
In those cases, I did as Babywise says and let her sleep another 30 minutes and then tried feeding her again.
Continue Hogg’s advice. Work for ten minutes to get your baby to wake up. Then wait 30 minutes (letting baby sleep) and try to feed your baby again.
Having the ten-minute timeline gives you a clear goal. It gives you clear direction. It also gives you clear permission to stop trying at the moment and try again later. This prevents frustration and tears on your part.
Conclusion
Keep in mind that I am encouraging you to not worry about the occasional feeding that doesn’t go as planned. Remember that Hogg warns against three in a row.
One or two isn’t an issue, but if three happens, you need to evaluate the situation and perhaps change your game plan somewhere. You might need to change how you are trying to wake baby up, what time you are trying to wake baby up, or something else in your schedule. You also might consider if your baby is perhaps sick. But for those occasional feedings that aren’t quite right, relax, put your baby down for a nap, and go take your own nap.
RELATED POSTS
- Newborn Baby Life: Everything You Need to Know
- How To Tell if Baby is Getting a Full Feeding
- Hunger Cues: How To Know if Baby Is Hungry
- Parent Directed Feeding (Babywise PDF) Explained
This post originally appeared on this blog in June of 2010
