How to feed a sleepy newborn. Tips to keep baby awake while eating so your baby can get a full feeding for breastfeeding and bottle feeding.
Nursing a newborn is not easy.
They tend to consistently fall asleep after they get a bit of food in their tummies.
The day will come when this sleepy newborn baby will stay awake and eat, but what do you do until then?
You are trying to start a baby schedule from the beginning and it is taking what little energy you have to keep the baby up just to eat, much less play afterward!
Post Contents
The Reasons You Want to Keep Baby Awake for Feedings
When you make sure your baby stays awake for a feeding, you are helping your baby set up a solid routine and schedule.
If baby is awake for the feeding, then baby is not napping through the feeding. Power naps help you not be so sleepy, so if your newborn is power napping through every feeding, he will not be so sleepy when nap time arrives.
It also helps you make sure your baby gets a full feeding. Baby stays awake and eats until she is full.
I didn’t do Babywise with Brayden, my oldest, until he was 9 weeks old. When Kaitlyn, my second, was born, I was a bit of a novice for the first couple of months.
She was a sleepy baby. She was always hard to wake up to eat. As soon as she started to eat, she would doze.
At one point while I was working through troubleshooting the reason she was not falling asleep well before naps, I had the thought come to me that I needed to make sure she didn’t fall asleep while nursing.
>>>Read: Feeding a Newborn: How Long is a Feed?
This was no easy task! But I put my effort into it, and it worked!
She started falling asleep for naps without crying again.
Over the years, when helping moms figure napping out, I am often urged to mention this falling asleep while eating thing. I get great feedback from people after they try it. I finally realized I needed a post stressing the importance and significance of this.
Remember if baby falls asleep and takes a quick catnap, baby will not be tired enough when nap time rolls around.
You will also have a hard time figuring out optimal waketime because of the power nap.
You will know a newborn should go back to bed after 45-60 minutes, but your baby’s body might not be ready because of that nap.
>>>Read: Optimal Waketime Lengths
You also need to remember that if baby is napping throughout the feeding, baby doesn’t eat well enough to last until the next feeding.
You also might not have enough stimulation time for baby because it will take baby longer to eat due to the napping.
Another reason for keeping baby awake if you are breastfeeding is to ensure you are getting enough stimulation to keep your milk supply up.
So please, work to keep baby awake while you are feeding!
This will probably mean zero distractions for you at first.
No books. No TV. No entertaining other children. No scrolling your phone.
This is your life! Don’t worry, it will get better soon. Try to enjoy it for what it is. It really isn’t long before your baby will be able to stay awake without your efforts.
So to review:
- Keeping baby awake helps with naps
- Keeping baby awake helps you get wake time lenght correct
- Keeping baby awake helps ensure baby gets a full feeding
- Keeping baby awake helps make sure baby gets enough stimulation during wake time
- Keeping baby awake helps you make sure baby gets a full feeding
How Long Until Baby Will Just Stay Awake
With Kaitlyn, I worked on one wake time a day each week.
She always fell asleep during feedings, and so I just worked on getting her to stay awake for one wake time each week.
For example, for the first week I just really focused on keeping her awake after the first feeding. The remainder I let her do what she did. If she fell asleep, I put her in her bed.
The last wake time I worked on was after her 1:00 pm feeding. It was a hard one for her! I know that at 4 weeks she was still zonking after that and stayed asleep until I woke her for her next feeding.
I can’t remember her exact age when she started being able to stay awake for that one, but it was definitely older than 4 weeks.
With my second and third babies, I worked to keep my babies awake for feedings all day, but it still takes a few weeks at least before your baby will just stay awake and eat.
In The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, Hogg states that baby is less likely to fall asleep during feeds after 6 weeks of age (page 30).
That doesn’t mean it never happens; some do and some don’t (some really never did). But it might give you something to look forward to. With Katilyn, I remember a significant improvement after 4 weeks, then steady progress from there.
In a poll on this blog, I asked people What age did baby start to stay awake for feedings on own (you didn’t have to work to keep baby awake to eat)?
Results:
2-4 weeks: 43 votes (34%)
4-6 weeks: 40 votes (32%)
6-8 weeks: 26 votes (20%)
8-10 weeks: 6 votes (4%)
10-12 weeks: 4 votes (3%)
12-14 weeks: 2 votes (1%)
14 weeks or older: 4 votes (3%)
Total of 125 votes
How To Keep Baby Awake for Feedings
A sleepy baby is really an exhausting thing for a mom who is trying to get a full feeding in her baby. It requires all of your focus and energy, so again, put down your distractions and focus on your baby.
- Use your thumb to rub a circular motion on the palm of his hand
- Rub his back or underarm
- Rub her shoulders
- “Walk” your fingers up and down his spine.
- Apply a cool rag or cold wet wipe to his feet, forehead, or neck
- Sit her up
- Talk, sing, etc.
- Change her diaper between sides or halfway through the bottle
- Gently tickle feet
- Switch breasts or positioning of your baby
- Burp the baby
If none of these work, leave baby for 30 minutes and try again. You really don’t want to work for more than ten minutes to get your baby to wake up–it will leave you super frustrated. Read more about this here: Sleepy Newborns: Work to Feed for 10 Minutes
Conclusion
Even after all that effort, there are no guarantees that baby will stay awake.
It is just a difficult time. It will take some time, but the more you work on keeping her awake for a full feeding, the better she will get at it.
It is worth the effort. You want a full feeding and you want to get her to stay awake during waketimes in order to sleep better at night. Keep at it! Before too long you will be able to relax while you feed your baby.
Related Posts
- Sleepy Newborns: Work to Feed for 10 Minutes
- Optimal Waketime Lengths
- Feeding a Newborn: How Long is a Feed?
Reader Advice
- Rachel Stellaaa said…
What I found to work the best with my sleepy baby (tickling him etc was not effective) was to not keep him too warm and wrapped up when I was feeding him, and when he started to fall asleep, put him beside me (or the floor, whatever you like) unwrapped and he would probably kick around and fuss for a second because he wanted to be nice and snug again, which would then wake him up enough to eat again. Sometimes I would have to do this several times throughout a feed.
May 23, 2008 9:33 PM
Plowmanators said…
Oh yes, Rachel. I have found that to be true also. Thanks for pointing that out!
May 26, 2008 10:03 AM - bradysmom said…
My baby was a very sleepy newborn as well. I always found the wet wash cloth did the trick. I would always have to feed him in only his diaper as well. Usually, between being naked and the wet washcloth, I could keep him awake! August 19, 2008 5:58 AM
Plowmanators said…
Thanks Bradysmom–ugh, that was so much work! I don’t miss that 🙂August 19, 2008 9:11 PM - Kelly Grant said…
My baby is 4 months old and I have done BW since she was born. She was the sleepiest baby I have ever seen. It was VERY frustrating to nurse at first because she would ALWAYS try to fall asleep. Throughout the feeding we would take her clothes off, use a cool cloth, move her top arm around and keep talking to her to keep her awake for feedings. It used to take 45 minutes to feed her EVERY FEEDING! This kept on until about 3 months…and although it was frustrating and time consuming its WORTH IT. Now she nurses in 15 min and has stayed in the 90th to 95th percentile in height and weight since she was born. Not to mention she naps well and has STTN since she was 3 weeks old! Its worth the effort to keep them awake for feedings! - D&H said…
Not only does it help with naps and getting a full feeding, it is important for baby to stay awake so they eat enough to be healthy!My baby was very sleepy as a newborn. In the hospital it took him a long time to latch on and then he would fall asleep before taking one suck! Partially because he was so sleepy and it took us a week to learn how to nurse, I had to pump and supplement for a while as well as work very hard to keep him awake for the first 2 months or so. On advice from my lactation consultant, I undressed him down to the diaper before feeding, changed his diaper between sides to wake him up again (worked better than undressing him) and got him dressed, and then nursed on the second side. I was constantly rubbing his head, hands, toes, moving his arms and legs, and sometimes using a wet cloth to keep him awake. However, now he has nursed fine without any supplement for 4 months and is able to stay awake through feedings. He is gaining weight well. His naps and bedtime also go better when he doesn’t fall asleep nursing.
Reader Questions
- lwicks said…
My LO is 12 weeks old, and I still have to work to keep him awake for at least half of his feedings during the day. I always make sure he’s awake before I start feeding him (except for his 10pm dreamfeed), but sometimes he closes his eyes the second I start to nurse him. Sometimes he starts out awake, but then will start to fall asleep halfway through. I can always manage to get a full feeding from him, but it seems to take a lot more work than I thought it would at this age. I thought by now he should have it down to where he nurses on his own. I have tried taking him off to wake him up, then put him back on, but he just closes his eyes again and starts to drift off. Any suggestions? I also wondered if you have any suggestions for sleeping away from home. I feel like I’m cooped up at home all the time since he doesn’t seem to sleep well somewhere else besides his bed. Sometimes I can get him to fall asleep in his carseat with a blanket over it (that way he knows it’s naptime and there isn’t so much for him to look at to keep him awake :o) ), but he never takes a full nap this way. I would love to spend more time visiting with family and friends, but I want to make sure my little boy is getting his sleep too. I’m glad he sleeps well in his bed, and I would much rather have the problem I have than the opposite issue, but it would still be nice to get out a bit more :O)
Babywise Mom said…
First, with time it will get better. But if he is overly tired (not napping well) then that would explain him being sleepy to eat.Very few babies (if any) will sleep in a carseat if they are well rested and used to sleeping in a bed.When I visit other people, I take a bassinet or pack and play with me for baby to sleep in. Baby might not sleep as well at other’s homes, but will probably sleep better than in a carseat. Also, the more practice he gets sleeping in those beds, the better he will sleep. I always had Kaitlyn take a couple of naps a day in different beds. - Catherine said…
I am having a random problem at night! My son eats and falls asleep lying on me. Then when I move him to his crib, he stays asleep while I move him, although he jostles a little, bit then when he hits the crib he startles awake (I can see him and hear him startle) and can’t get back to sleep. The other night I let him CIO but he went 1.5 hrs intermittently crying and just couldn’t do it. Finally I just had to put him in the swing bc he was so worked up. This has been happening for the last few weeks- really since he came out of the extremely sleepy, can’t wake for anything, newborn phase. It’s really frustrating though and really messes up our nights! Any thoughts anyone?
March 4, 2008 10:42 AM
Plowmanators said…
Kaitlyn did that a few times. Be sure he is getting a full feeding in–if he falls asleep before he is done eating, wake him to finish. That way you know he is full. As he learns to soothe himself, he will get better about it. Hang in there!
March 4, 2008 1:42 PM
Catherine said…
Thanks Valerie. What did you do when Kaitlyn did that?
March 5, 2008 10:51 AM
Plowmanators said…
It was never consistent for her, I think one time we tried rocking her to no avail so I just fed her. Another time we did the swing, that worked. Then we just moved her up to her bed after she fell asleep and she somehow stayed asleep. It is all a normal part of the learning process. Stay consistent and hang in there! Things will start to improve and you will have less to worry about at a a time 🙂
March 5, 2008 10:51 AM
- jencwu said…
One thing I have struggled with is how do I know when my baby is done eating? He is 4 weeks old and still quite sleepy when he’s eating, so I will try to make him go 10-15 mins on each side, sometimes longer if he is really sleepy. Usually after that amount of time I am really fighting to keep him awake and I usually just figure he’s had enough so I break his suction and take him off. Is that the right thing to do or should I wait for him to do that on his own? If I wait it might take forever since he is always going in and out of sleep. Also, my husband feeds him 1 bottle of breastmilk for his DF and he usually eats about 5 ounces, which from what I’ve read is a lot more than typical at this age. He is growing a lot faster than typical too. So I know he has a big need for food, but I just really don’t want to spend my entire day nursing a sleepy baby.
August 22, 2008 1:10 PM
Plowmanators said…
jencwu, This is a hard one, especially for the first time mom. My son took an hour to eat (at least) at that age. Looking back, a lot of that was me not really knowing what was going on. Just work to keep him awake (I know it is draining, but it should improve soon). At 3 months, my son went down to 30 minutes and was really easy to see when he was done eating. It will get easier with time and experience.
August 28, 2008 7:48 AM - jencwu said…
I looked around and wasn’t sure where else to put this question, so I’m including it here. I know BW says not to nurse your baby to sleep, but what about at nighttime feedings? What I have been doing is when he wakes up at night, I feed him on one side, change his diaper, then feed him on the other side. I try to keep him awake to get a full feeding but then after a certain amount of time he is just so sleepy he won’t wake up for anything. I really press the issue if I feel he hasn’t eaten enough, but usually he gets that sleepy after I feel he’s eaten enough. So I just burp him (he usually even sleeps through that at those times!) and put him down. Do you think this is okay or could it be messing up the daytime routine (as in maybe it is making him feel like he needs to feed in order to go to sleep for naps?)? If I shouldn’t be doing this, what would you suggest for nighttime feedings?
August 22, 2008 1:19 PM
Krystal said…
Jen,In BW it says that during the nightime feeding you are suppossed to feed him and then immedietly put him back down. I don’t think there is any problem w/ nursing and then putting him back to bed. This is what I did w/ both of my kids, and it didn’t cause a problem w/ naps during the day. Just be sure and keep the eat/awake/sleep cycle (makeing sure you don’t nurse to sleep)during the day and you are set. 🙂
August 24, 2008 9:55 PM
Plowmanators said…
jencwu, I think that is fine for that feeding. Just do your best to be sure he gets a full feeding so he can get some good sleep.
August 28, 2008 7:50 AM
Plowmanators said…
Thanks Krystal–good tips!
August 28, 2008 7:50 AM - juls1974 said…
I can totally relate to Jen. My 5 week-old does the same thing when I’m nursing, whether it’s day or night. He falls asleep within 10 minutes of nursing and then wakes up briefly to suck every minute or so (especially if I try to take away the breast). I usually change his diaper and that will wake him up for a few more minutes of nursing, but then it’s back to sleep again. I realize now after reading many posts/comments that I need to work a little harder to get in that full feeding. My question now is what can I do to keep him awake during “waketime?”Many times I end up burping him after nursing and then putting him to bed right away because there’s NOTHING I can do to wake him up. If he does wake up a little he’s so drowsy that I can’t tell when I should put him down to bed (overabundance of sleepy cues). Does that make sense? So, he sleeps so much during the day that he sleeps poorly during the night which makes him extra sleepy the next day, and the viscious cycle continues… Any suggestions?
September 11, 2008 2:12 PM
Plowmanators said…
The fact that he isn’t sleeping well at night tells you that he needs more waketime in the day. I would think through his day and figure out when he is most awake. For one week, focus on keeping him awake for that waketime. At the same time, figure out his optimal waketime length. At that age, my guess would be 30-45 minutes, while some could do 60 minutes. After a week, choose another waketime so you have two waketimes in the day that he is awake, and so forth. If he responds well, you can move faster than one week at a time.To keep him awake, sit him up, talk to him, keep things interesting (but remember for a newborn it doesn’t take much to be interesting).
September 17, 2008 8:11 AM - Gwyn said…
After reading several of your posts, I’m starting to wonder if my 7 week old is having problems falling asleep at naptime b/c she is taking small cat naps during feeding time. I’m always trying to stimulate her while she is eating, and she continues to suck (her eyes are almost always closed), but it sounds like she could be sleeping? i tried this morning and it is so hard to keep her awake and swallowing – it takes me about an hour to feed her! it’s frustrating because at the end of the feeding once she is off the breast and not as snuggly, she is wide awake! i wouldn’t call her a sleepy newborn, just a sleepy eater. what do i do?! the frustration is making me want to exclusively bottle feed – because sometimes we do bottle feed and she stays awake for that generally.
Plowmanators said…
Gwyn, if she is sleeping during feedings, that will interfere with naps. But hang in there. It will get better if you keep working on it. - Kelly said…
Hi! I’m a new mommy and doing my best to follow Babywise without stressing myself out. I’m a teacher which means I tend to be a very strict schedule follower. The flexibility part is hard for me. Anyway, my baby is 7 weeks old and from the start we had some nursing issues. She is a very sleepy nurser. She is improving, but it takes 45 min to an hour for her to nurse. I really have to work at keeping her awake, but most often her eyes are closed. I don’t take her off the breast because I can see she is still sucking and swallowing. When she stops for a prolonged period, I do take her off, but she fusses and mouths to be put back on. I put her back on and we continue. Sometimes I even top her off with a 1 oz bottle of expressed milk just to make sure she is really full! This really cuts into her waketime. I have been keeping her up for about 1 hour 15 min, but I’m thinking this may be too long. My concern is that she’s not really getting much waketime since she is nursing for so much of it. Another issue is her napping. She is the queen of the 45 minute nap, which I know is affecting her ability to nurse effectively. I thought it might be the 45 min intruder and sometimes it seems that she is hungry and will take a full meal, but that’s certainly not always the case. I was reading on the blog and came across a post that mentioned that if a baby sleeps during nursing, they aren’t likely to take a good nap. Do you think that’s the problem here? I really don’t think I can get her to nurse any faster. Today I’m pumping and feeding her a bottle to speed up her feeding time to see if it’s the long nursing sessions that are the problem. I really hate to give up nursing. I feel like we get stuck in the horrible cycle of not sleeping well because of not feeding well and not feeding well because of not sleeping well! Of course some days are better than others. Any advice would be so appreciated!!
Plowmanators said…
Kelly,I would strongly guess that she is not really eating the whole time you think she is. It sounds like how my oldest was, and as I have looked back on things, I think he was taking little catnaps along the nursing way. I think that is a good chance at what is affecting your naps. You don’t have to give up nursing. You can just work to make sure she is awake. Talk to her, try to make sure you see her eyes every so often. When you take her off, if she looks for the breast without opening her eyes, I think there is a good chance she is power napping. Good luck!
This post originally appeared in December 2007. Information in this post also published August 2008 and August 2010.
My 4-week-old son is a sleepyhead like your Kaitlyn. Until about a week ago, he seemed to be doing quite well with basically eating and sleeping on a 3-hour routine, with his waketimes primarily being limited to his nursing period. He is a big boy and is gaining weight and length well, so I am notconcerned about these. However, as he has become more alert, I have made the mistake in the past week of keeping him up too long for his waketimes. Then, when it is time for him to sleep, he cries on and off throughout his entire supposed nap period. During the next cycle, he will eat lazily and fall asleep immediately, after which I must rouse him for his next feeding. After finding your site last night and perusing a bit (what a blessing itis!), I have allowed him to sleep if he seemed tired or fussy at all after eating. This worked well this morning. After the 1 p.m. feeding, however, I put him down at 1:45, after feeding and changing him. He slept until about 2:05, at which point he started fussing. He has cried until now (2:55), and I have taken him out of his bassinet and put him in the swing to see if this works to help soothe him to sleep. Any further comments about how to handle the baby who cries throughout the entire nap period would be much appreciated.Also, in reading about your working with Kaitlyn on her waketimes, I was wondering if you meant that each week she mastered a waketime (week one,mastered the first morning waketime, week two the second, etc.) and that you kept adding one or if you just worked on one and then the next week workedon another, allowing her to sleep immediately after her feeding in the morning if necessary.Your site is extremely helpful. In one of your posts you mentioned being a part of a Babywise support group. How might I find if one is available inmy area?Thank you so much for your time and your insights!
Tobie,I seem to remember answering this question…did you post it somewhere else, too? Did it get answered? Thanks!
Being my first time to post, I had a bit of trouble, and I may have accidentally attached my comments elsewhere on the site as well. Rachel’s reply about keeping the baby awake during a feeding was really helpful. I used that technique today to rouse my sleepy son during a feeding, and it worked! As to my questions about crying through a nap period, I did not see a direct answer (though once again, I’m not sure where my original post may have ended up). However, perusing your site has given me many helpful tips–primarily keeping the wake time short. I do think my son may be going through a growth spurt, and your entry on these was quite insightful. This may explain his shortened naps at points during the day and his need for more frequent feedings. I will keep reading through the site for ideas and I’m sure I’ll be posting more questions soon. Now, my son is down for a few hours of sleep (I hope), and I am going to try to get some rest as well!
I am sorry if it didn’t get answerd Tobie! I am glad Rachel’s reply helped. Try to pick certain waketimes in the day that you know he can stay awake and keep him up. Remember at his age, waketime will be 45-60 minutes total (sometimes maybe only 30 minutes total even). If he is overly tired, he won’t sleep well. But he also needs to have enough waketime or else he will wake up crying, just as you experienced.With Waketimes, it seemed it took Kaitlyn a few days to be awake for a waketime, then I gave it a few days to really click. So we just did one per week. I didn’t work down the line, though. Her last waketime we worked on was her 1 PM feeding. She was most drowsy at that time of day, which worked well for me since my son napped at 1, then I could take a nap immediately following her 1PM feeding.Once we had the waketime down, she was awake for it. So once the morning waketime was “awake” she stayed up the next week for that while we added another.Certain parts of the country have Babywise (or Growing Kids International) classes. You can also get a contact mom through Growing Kids International (thre is a link to their site on the left side of this blog on every page). There are also many online support groups. Those are the ones I am in. We don’t have anything local where I am.It sounds like things are improving for you. Please let me know if you have more questions! Good luck!
I have a 5 week old that is bottle fed and was on a 3-hour schedule. I have been working on BW since the beginning and now all my work seems to have gone out the window during the day. He wakes on his own at night for his feedings. Up until 2 weeks ago he stayed awake at the bottle (his formula has been changed many times due to colic/acid reflux – he has been on soy for the past two weeks). I have tried everything to get him to stay up at least one hour for feed and wake time. He is able to nap for the full 2 hours until his next feed in the morning. After that I can’t seem to get him to sleep more than one hour – most of the time 30 to 40 minutes. Yesterday he CIO for 58 minutes on/off till next feeding. He seems to be waking out of hunger (sucking hand, rooting). Is the sleeping at the bottle typical for his age? Are babies at this age typically on a 2.5 or 3 hour schedule? Could it be a growth spurt? I have to go back to work after next week and am trying my best to fix the daytime nap situation. Please help.
I have a 4-week old. We have not started consistently letting him CIO for naps yet, though I intend to today. He successfully CIO this morning, but he only slept for a very short time before it was time to feed him again.My question is this: the most effective way of waking him for a feeding is to lay him next to me or on the floor till he’s uncomfy enough to wake and feed some more. Is this a problem when it comes time to letting him lie in bed to fall asleep? I’m concerned about mixed signals, where sometimes lying down on his back means “wake up!” and at others, it means “go to sleep”
HanClintoI think the important thing to remember is to always do some kind of nap ritual before you put him down for a nap (sing a certain song, cuddle, rock him for a few minutes etc). Also, if you put him down in the same place to sleep and darken the room this will signal nap time for him too (rather than time to eat).With my son, now 6 months, he starts to get sleepy the second I start to sing his “nap song” to him or when I cradle him in my arms in his room with the light off. Babies are great at associating things, as long as you are fairly consistent.
Kim,This might be too late, perhaps you have figured it out…he might need shorter waketime. He could need as short as 30-45 minutes. If baby is crying for a long time or waking early, it is most likely because he was up too long. Could definitely be a growth spurt. There is one at 4 and 6 weeks. Schedules at that age are typically a combo 2.5-3 hour schedule.
HanClinto,I don’t think this should be a problem. Babies are ridiculously smart. At that age, he will spend most of his time on his back doing various things. Diaper changes, playing, sleeping, and in his case eating. When you are feeding him, he is not in his bed, you are there with him, he is eating…there are many differences. He is smart enough to get it.As Rachel said (thanks!), if you do a ritual before a nap then he will easily distinguish different activities.
Thanks for the reply! That’s a good point; I have noticed that he has no problem being on his back when it comes to diaper changes — he reacts very differently to being there, rather than being set on the floor when he’s supposed to be eating.
You are welcome!
Hi!I am VERY NEW to BW and I have a few questions, one of which pertains to this particular post, one not – I will ask both here as Im not exactly sure where to post the other ones…My daughter is 5 weeks old and I did NOT read BW in the beginning but rather took the “advice” of my sister who did BW with all 3 of her kids succesfully. It turns out she was not giving me all the nitty gritty details and my impression was to just start off getting the baby on a 3-hour feeding schedule, starting at whatever time you want to wake up every morning and ending at the same time every night. I knew the cycle should be eat, play, sleep but she also told me to just try to keep the baby awake during the feeding and as long as I could after the feeding, even if it was just 5 minutes. Obviously, this is NOT what you are supposed to do but thats what I was doing up until this week when I discovered this is not accurate… One good thing we DID secure since we brought her home was the 3-hour feeding schedule (7,10,1,4,7,10 and once in the night whenever she wakes up)… I wound up buying the book and now I know what has to be done the correct way but of course, I still have q’s…SO – in regards to keeping up a sleepy baby, how “awake” does she really need to be during feedings? I do EVERYTHING I can to keep her up (poking her, tickling her feet, talking, singing, blowing on her, rubbing her shoulder, cold washcloth etc!!!) and sometimes, she just WILL NOT stay up. She is not totally asleep due to all the poking and prodding but she is still sleeping. I have been trying to keep her awake during feedings since the beginning and very few of them are succesful. Is the fact that she is not in REM while eating sufficient or should I somehow strive for an even MORE awake baby???As for question #2:Anila’s cycles are as follows:eat (and try to stay awake) – usually takes about 1/2 an hour or sowake – is or tries to be until 1.5 hours prior to next feedingsleep – 1.5 hours (but sometimes its only 1)I know that at the moment she can be on a 2 1/2 – 3 hour schedule but I not sure what to do if she gets up from her nap after an hour instead of 1 1/2 hours – should I feed her right away and then start the next cycle from there, throwing off the rest of the day’s cycles?? Or should I keep her up for an extra half hour at the end of the following cycle to get her back on track? And finally, question #3:It is to my understaning that initially I should be giving her 2 “bedtimes” – in other words, I should give her the 7:00 pm feeding and then at 8:30 “officially” put her to bed and then give her a potential dream feed at 10:00. I tried to do this for the first time last night, instead of just making her last feeding at 10:00 and she literally WAILED until i finally got her at almost 10:00. I read the post about CIO and all that but my husband and I were freaking out and just couldnt take it. i was literally almost crying cuz I felt so bad and so did he. Is it ok to just do a regular cycle at 7:00 instead of making this her last normal feeding and make her official bed time 10:00 for now (and then gradually make it earlier and work towards 8:30)???I think thats it for now so thanks in advance for any help that you can give me. If there are any details or other things you need to know about how we are doing things, feel free to ask!! THANK AGAIN!! 😉
The more awake she is, the better. Just do your best. My daughter slept better for naps if she was fully awake during her feedings. I would keep striving for her to be more awake, but know you are not alone in your efforts.I would shorten waketimes up to one hour each. As for what to do when she wakes early, see:Waketime When Baby Wakes Early : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/waketime-when-baby-wakes-early.htmlWaketime When They Wake Early: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/waketime-when-they-wake-early.htmlWaking Early From Naps/Won’t Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.htmlYou can give her waketime after her 7 feeding if she needs it, which is quite possible at this young age. I wouldn’t keep her up from 7-10:30ish (once the feeding was over and she was in bed) though. That is much too long for a 6 week old.
My son is eight weeks and does not wake up after 1.5 to 2 hours of sleep during the day. He is on a 3 to 3.5 hour schedule but I must wake him from nearly every nap to keep this up. I also have to work to get him to eat during feedings because even though I undress him and try to tickle him he still falls asleep. After feedings though he will stay awake for a good amount of time before I put him down to sleep and he settles in quickly with little or no crying. He is still only sleeping 5-6 hours at night. Should I change his schedule at all or do you think he’ll learn to sleep at night on this schedule?
He sounds like he is doing well. I would just keep at it!
Hi- My 4-week old son very consistently wants to eat every 3 hours. We are on a 6-9-12-3 schedule. However, we can't seem to get the Sleep-Wake-Eat cycle down. He's a very sleepy baby, so I've been working on trying to keep him awake during a feeding (which is really difficult). However, if he wakes up, then he won't go back to sleep until he takes his next bottle. I've tried putting him down about 1 to 1 1/2 hours before he needs to eat, but he's still as alert as ever. We've tried crying it out for 45 min, and then try the swing and even that won't make him sleepy. Do I just need to keep trying to let him cry it out? It's been this way for a few weeks now & I'm feeling rather discouraged… any advice?
Amanda, it sounds like there is a good chance he is awake too long. At four weeks, he needs only 30-60 minutes (at most) of waketime. This includes feeding time. If he is up too long, he will not be able to fall asleep. See these posts for more guidance:Optimal Waketime Lengths : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/07/optimal-waketime-lengths.htmlCIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.htmlWaking Early From Naps/Won’t Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html
My problem is not that my newborn is too sleepy, but he is too awake. At 12 days old today, he was up for 8 straight hours. I do my best not to overstimulate but have a two year old running around all day. I tried to get him down while she was napping and he still wouldn’t sleep. I even tried nursing him to sleep (typically a no-no)and that didn’t work either. Have you ever dealt with this? How am I supposed to start implimenting a schedule when he refuses to sleep? When I put him in his crib awake but drowsy is it okay to let him cry for a few mintues or is it way too early for that? I have been waking him up 3 hrs after his last feeding to try to stick to the schedule but am now wondering if I shouldn’t do that. He sleeps well at night and is typically a happy baby. He is a bit on the gassy side so we started mylicon this evening hoping that helps him burp and not give the air a chance to travel to his tummy. Any ideas for what I can do? I really want to do BW with him like I did with my daughter but am getting so stressed that things aren’t going well. Thanks so much!
He sounds just like Brayden. I have totally been there. I started CIO with Kaitlyn at one week, so I think he is old enough so long as you feel like he is ready. With both of my kids, I just knew when they were ready for it. I knew with Brayden at 3 weeks, but I wasn’t ready yet. Just hang in there. It is hard. You really won’t remember how hard it was with your first. I remember reading my journal from when Brayden was a baby while Kaitlyn was a baby. I was surprised to see that things were WAY harder with him than with her. You just don’t remember the work it takes. Here are a few posts for you to consult:CIO Bootcamp: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/cio-bootcamp.htmlWaking Early From Naps/Won’t Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html
hello,my daughter is 4 weeks old and WILL NOT stay awake for waketimes after nursing. i have just started bw, and i have a couple of questions:1. my daughter’s eyes are closed and ‘sort of’ sleeping during feeding times, but is actively sucking. does this mean she is sleeping and i need to wake her up? or is her active sucking a sign that she is awake?2. she falls asleep and sleeps thru her waketime and mostly thru her nap time. is her sleepiness a developmental thing, and i can wait until she is a bit older to try to coax her awake for her waketimes? or should i fight her sleepiness and try to get her to wake up?thanks…your blog has been a lifesaver for me.
oh! i forgot to ask another question:3. i am currently on a 3 hour feeding schedule. do you suggest that i change to a 2.5 hour schedule to accomodate her sleepiness?
Hopeful,1. When she is actively sucking with her eyes closed, she is awake. As she gets older, she will most likely keep her eyes open, though. It is also easy for her to drift to sleep while sucking, so just pay attention and catch her as she drifts so you can prevent her from falling asleep.2. She will get more awake as she gets older. You want to keep her awake to a point, but not beyond what she can do successfully. So at four weeks (now she is about 6, so lets say at 6 weeks) she would have about 45 minute waketime including feeding. Some have longer, some have shorter.3. You can be on 3 hours if she sleeps until the three hour mark. If she is waking at 2.5, change to 2.5 🙂
My son is two weeks old. After two magical days in the hospital where he slept like an angel for 5 and 6-hour stretches, I quickly became frustrated to bring him home and find he was eating every 30 min to an hour, and would not nap more than 15 min to an hour. The night stretches were particularly difficult, because I was dead tired.Exasperated, about a week ago I began reading this blog during every feeding. My attention was drawn to this post right away. I then went on to purchase and read Baby Whisperer solves all your problems. I did everything to keep baby awake, but to no avail he still fell asleep 10 min in ans sucked lazily for 20-40 min, as long as I would let him. When i tried to remove him, he would increase suction to hold my nipple (ouch!). He was 6.5 lbs at birth, so it did not seem i had a problem like Hogg describes with premies etc. But nothing I did would keep him awake.I finally went on to do the yield test Hogg talks about, and also looked up infant stomach capacity. I figure he should be eating at least 3 oz at each feeding in order to last thru a 3-hr cycle. My yield was fine, so I assume it's because of his lazy suckling that he's not getting enough, no matter how long i give him, or what efforts (I am also monitoring how much he swallows by keeping a finger next to his esophagus. So yesterday, determined to do whatever it takes to enable him to eat enough and sleep well, I let him feed at the breast for 20 min, burp, then drink expressed milk from the bottle. I know the flow rate is a little high, because he spits up some, but after eating 3 oz from the bottle, he is then happy thru awake time, and sleeps well thru the nap…had to wake him at the end of each nap. Did the breast/expressed via bottle at each feed, and he did great. The whole day and night went as planned.I know this is not ideal, I wish i were EBF, but maybe when he becomes a little more alert, I can go back to EBF. Anyway, I am not going to punish myself, because I know he needs the food and also his sleep, and this allows us to achive it. My LC says this is okay, as long as I am keen to watch out for nipple confusion and halt expressed breast milk via bottle immediately if i encounter any problems. Has anyone else tried this or has similar experience? Today is day two, so I'll let you know how it goes.
Geez, I swear I feel like I am the only one .. these comments and post are heaven sent … I'm starting to go crazy and cry with him … I hope it gets easier
Hello!! I cannot say how many times I have referenced your blog for help with our little one. Thank you so much for being a great resource for so many people! Of course I have a question for you 🙂 I have a 7 week old. He does great during daytime feedings and aside from his 6 week growth spurt he's been doing 3-3.5 hour feeds very well. He is only waking once during the night (3am) and goes until his wake time at 7. During the dream feed I have to unswaddle him and walk around with him nursing to even get to 15 mins of nursing. His middle of the night feeding is impossible to get 15 mins! He will eat for 7-10 mins on one side and even if I change his diaper, or unswaddle him he will not eat more. Should I be working for a full feed in the middle of the night? I also don't want him to wake up sooner than he could go because he isn't as full. Thank you for your wisdom!