Diaper changes get difficult when your little one refuses to sit still or full on fights the diaper change. Here is what to do.
Changing diapers is rarely on anyone’s top five favorite things to do list, but it quickly moves into top five most disliked things to do list when you have a toddler who starts kicking and throwing a fit during diaper changes.
There are many difficulties you might face behaviorally during the diaper change. Not all children will specifically kick, but all will do something. Some might try to roll over. Some try to sit up. Some arch the back. Some grab at the diaper…oh the list goes on.
Let’s discuss how best to respond in these situations.
Stay Calm, This is Normal
This is another one of those things that is just going to happen in life. It will. Your child starts life out staying relatively still as you change the diaper, but one day, she will start to squirm and cause you trouble.
What To Do When Your Child Fights the Diaper Change
First of all, let’s discuss the most important thing. Do what you can to keep things clean and your child safe.
Don’t leave the child unattended at the changing table or on any surface. Perhaps buckling the child down will help keep your child more still (though not happier).
If you change your child on the floor or other surface that is not “baby deification proof,” put a pad under your baby or something so if and when baby creates a mess with the wiggling, it won’t be so traumatic for you.
Distract Your Little One
Next, I think the best thing to do with these diaper changes is to keep the child distracted. Distract, distract, distract.
A baby does not want to hold still for a diaper change. Does she need to? Absolutely. But this isn’t a situation that requires complete reverence.
If any experienced mom is like me, she finds herself trying to hand her four week old a toy before she changes the diaper.
I did this with all three of my girls. I would put them down for a diaper change and try to give them a toy…then I realized they couldn’t hold a toy yet.
As you get experienced, distracting your little one is so much a part of the habit of diaper changes, it is just what we do.
Keep some interesting toys at the changing table. Rotate often.
I will also hand my little one the new diaper to hold or her diaper cream.
I remember when McKenna was a young toddler she liked to “brush” her hair, so I would give her a brush while I changed her diaper.
Distract, distract, distract.
Sing songs. Engage your child. Talk about what you are doing. Explain you are taking her pants off. Talk about her having a messy diaper, then talk about it being fresh and clean. This is an opportunity to teach opposites and various concepts.
Distract, distract, distract.
Despite your best distracting efforts, there will be times your baby will not have it. She will not be deterred!
I had this problem with McKenna at times. This happened when she wanted to sit up.
Well, I just couldn’t change her diaper while she was sitting up. I am not that talented.
So I put her back down, handed her something to play with, and told her to stay down. I did this in a firm voice. I gave her “the look.” I did not give in. You can’t really give in with situations like this; the diaper must be changed.
Now, let’s discuss when the behavior moves from simply wanting to play to outright anger at the situation.
Your child might kick in anger. She might throw a fit. She might scream. In this situation, I would simply look at the child with “the look,” tell her that’s a no, and keep going.
If your child kicks you, I would grab the foot, lay it back where it should go, and say, “That’s a no. You do not kick Mama.”
If she is crying out of sadness rather than anger, I would talk to her as you change her diaper and say, “I know this isn’t fun. Mommy is hurrying as fast as she can. You can play as soon as Mommy gets you all clean.”
If your child is old enough to understand, you can give warnings. “In one minute, we are going to change your diaper, then you can play again.”
If your child tends to make a messy diaper right when she wakes up, you can change her before any fun even begins. Get her out of bed and change that diaper right away so she doesn’t get into something fun that will be distracted.
The older the child, the firmer I would be with not being allowed to move around during the diaper change.
Expect Obedience at All Times
I think this is a situation that will be easier remedied if your child obeys you in other areas.
Your child needs to know that when mom says no, it means no. So be consistent in all areas of life, not just the diaper change.
If screaming and crying can get her out of other things, she will try it for diaper changes, too.
As a recap, here are some dos:
- Do distract. Go to the toy or other item to play with first. Also, sing songs, count toes, count how many seconds it takes, etc.
- Do go fast. Go as fast as you can go.
- Do be firm.
- Do be consistent. Don’t delay the diaper change if the fits come.
- Do repeat. You might have to do these things over and over again before your child gets it.
- Do warn. Give your child fair warning before the diaper change if she is old enough to understand it.
This time period requires patience. You can both work through this. Hang in there!
- Consequences: Natural VS Logical and How to Use Each
- 10 Guidelines for Using Logical Consequences
- How to Correct Your Child in a Really Positive Way
- How To Diaper Baby at Night for Optimal Sleep
This post originally appeared on this blog in May 2010