Love and Logic Magic: Share the Thinking

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Principle number four in Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood  is to share the thinking. This means you have your child sit and think through options–no matter what the question is–rather than just deliver the answer.


This is applied to discipline very well. I have found that when I ask my children what they think should happen when they do something wrong, they come up with a much harsher punishment than I would deliver myself. I sometimes go with their consequence, but most often I suggest something I think is more appropriate for the crime and the child is then very happy to accept whatever it is that is coming. 


Having the child think through things like this helps them really process it and evaluate it. Was it wrong? Why was it wrong? What should happen because it was wrong? 


This helps the child to learn from the mistake and also helps the child to not get angry at the consequence giver. Love and Logic Magic states “Successful people never fail; they turn failures into wisdom.” Thinking through the scenario and what should be done about it helps the child to turn that mistake or failure into wisdom. They really learn from it. 


What age can you try this? I would say in certain situations, a three year old can handle this. Three is the age most children start to understand morals, so moral thinking can happen in a three year old. Judge for yourself what age your child is ready. I would start analyzing it at age three.

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Valerie, also known as The Babywise Mom, is the mother to four children. She has been blogging on Babywise and general parenting since 2007. She has a degree in technical writing and loves using those skills to help parents be the best parents they can be! Read her book, The Babywise Mom Nap Guide, to get help on sleep from birth through the preschool years. You can also find her writing at, Today Parenting, and Her View From Home. Read more about Valerie and her family on the About page. Follow her on FacebookPinterest, and Instagram for more tips and helps.

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1 Comment

  1. MommaLanda
    October 20, 2012 / 9:52 AM

    We love this book and philosophy in our home! Although sometimes I find I am not quick enough on my feet to come up with two good choices. Getting better every day!

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