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Everything you need to know about Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. Parenting with Love and Logic summary and review.
When Brayden, my oldest child, was a baby, one of my best friends told me I needed to read Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. She didn’t have children yet, but she was a teacher and absolutely loved the Teaching With Love and Logic version of the book.
I have always been eager for good resources as a parent, so I purchased the book. When Brayden was a young toddler, I started to read it. She was right! It was a great book.
Now, of course, there are things in the book I do not agree with or follow. I think that is to be expected with most parenting books out there. The only way you would agree with everything in a parenting book is if you were the author. We all have slightly different views. You just take what you love and ignore what you don’t.
I find the book to be super helpful to get me in a frame of mind where I allow my child to experience consequences in life. I step back and think before acting or reacting. I keep a level head and look at the big picture of life rather than that exact moment. It is a super helpful parenting book. Let’s discuss everything you need to know about this book.
Parenting With Love and Logic Summary
The Love and Logic book begins by talking about enjoying parenting. It then goes on to talk about the goal of raising responsible kids. This is really the heart of the book. Raise children to be independent, capable, and responsible adults. I have a friend who often says, “We are raising future adults.” Remember that.
Failure is not always bad. Success is not always good. Protecting your child from consequences, failure, and hurt is not always helpful nor the best parenting choice.
The book then goes on to talk about the positive outcome of responsible children. It discusses self-concept, self-esteem, and how to praise and encourage effectively.
The book then goes on to discuss mistakes. Allowing children to try. Allowing children to fail. This also allows children to succeed. It talks about bailing children out–good idea or bad?
There is then a full section on boundaries and limits. How to discipline without empty threats. How to set boundaries that can stand.
The next section discusses control. There can often be a battle of wills between parent and child. Learning how to manage the struggle for control can be super helpful for parents.
We then go into consequences. How to allow children to experience consequences. How to have empathy while also allowing consequence to happen in your child’s life. The importance of empathy when allowing consequences.
The second section of the book focuses on all sorts of scenarios and how to practice love and logic with all of these situations. Things like allowance, bedtime, chores, seatbelts, fighting, friends, homework, pets, sports, stealing, sassing, school, teeth brushing, and more. There are 48 topics covered, so it really helps you to know how to handle a myriad of situations.
Parenting With Love and Logic Review
As I said earlier, I really, really like this book. Again, not everything is something I agree with. But it just gets me in the frame of mind for allowing for consequences, being calm and logical, and feeling confident in your discipline. If you need help knowing how to give logical consequences, this book will help you.
Another great thing is the love aspect of this book. The logic helps you do all of the above. They also focus on love. How do you teach consequences and let natural consequences happen while still showing love? You want your child to grow up understanding grace. This book helps you strike that balance.
The premise is you allow your child to make choices. You require that your child experience the consequences of that choice. You focus on your child learning that actions have consequences while the child is young and the “stakes are low.”
While you do this, you empathize with your child when something is hard. You don’t say, “Well, you decided to not wear a coat so you deserve to be cold. I told you so.” You say, “That is really sad you are cold. Too bad you didn’t wear a coat. I bet next time, you will choose a coat.”
The love and the logic work together.
I highly recommend you read this book. It will help you to be able to discipline confidently, with love. When a problem arises, you will confidently allow your child to experience the consequences from the choice. It is not easy to allow children to experience the consequences they have walked into, but it has so much value long-term. You can read my more first-impression review of Parenting With Love and Logic book here.