Here are the results for the poll on dynamics with a new baby and the older children.
- How old was your child when the new baby came?
15-18 Months: 3
19-24 Months: 1
2 Year Old: 1
3 Year Old: 2
5 Year Old: 1
8 Year Old: 1
9 Year Old: 1
11 Year Old: 1
12 Year Old: 1
- Did you do anything to “prep” the older child for the baby?
- If yes, what did you do?
Role Playing with Dolls: 2
Practice Being Quiet: 1
Read Books: 2
Talked About It: 2
Have Child Help Prep: 1
Be Around Other Babies: 1
- How did your child initially react to the new baby? Were there any regressions or jealousy? Stress?
More Clingy: 2
Physical Pain (tummy hurting): 1
No Real Change: 2
- How did your child act after about a month after the new baby was born? Were there any regressions or jealousy? Stress?
Sleep Regression: 1
On Way to Normal: 2
More Bickering Among Siblings: 1
Don’t Remember: 1
- Was there a point of difficulty at any point?
Yes, First Few Weeks: 1
Not Yet: 1
Don’t Remember: 1
- Did you do anything to help the older child accept the new child?
Reassure Love: 1
Encouraged Interaction and Helping: 1
- Any words of advice?
“Any behaviours in child 1 that need working on are best worked on before the new baby arrives or wait till things settle down first. It is a big change to the whole family when a new member arrives.””
-Independent playtime/ roomtime is a must!
-Plan several “ideal” schedules before baby arrives.
-Relax your housekeeping standards for a while. It takes longer to get back into a good routine when you add another baby.
-Plan intentional one-on-one time with each during the day or you can become resentful.
-Get the baby up and back down before the older gets up. Yes, this is hard at first, but it allows for the one-on-one time. You can merge schedules later as baby starts to sleep longer periods.””As My children are now 22, 21, 19 and almost 10, as I said earlier, there is not much I remember that marked them or me to the point of being something I really remember. Children have a way of fitting in. Make sure you marriage is solid and the priority and the new babies will just find their place into the hearts of the entire family.”
I think around a month and a half everyone was walking on egg shells, anxiety was high we had another long family time and went through a lot of feelings that were not being expressed. For example when we held the baby to bring him to another room that was being perceived as him being more important to her, or the baby being in parents room for the first few months with MOTN wake ups was being perceived as her not as an important part of the family. We just encouraged a lot of communication and explanation and around 2 months it seemed to Allen worked out.””This is probably obvious, but it’s even more important to be ready for when the baby comes home(when you already have children). Have simple meals ready in the freezer. Line up some fun things the older kids can do without you, like a day with the grandparents, or a daddy day so they don’t feel left out as much. I wish I had done MORE along those lines. I wasn’t ready for the huge guilt trip.”
Always supervise sibling interactions with the baby, but remember that “babies do bounce,” so don’t be overly protective. The other family members I mentioned with the new baby were SOOOO careful, that the older child now just ignores the baby and doesn’t want anything to do with him.”