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“The goal is to train the child to obey your voice (which includes tone and modulation), not to the object” (On Becoming Babywise II, page 95).
This is very important to remember when training your child. You are not seeking to train your child to memorize a list of objects that are okay and objects that are not okay. Your are seeking to train your child to listen to you and obey you when you tell him to do something or to not do something. As Babywise II points out, you are the constant. The object is the variable.
If your focus is on objects, then your child might end up being well trained at home, but when you go out, he could be a difficulty. That is, unless the places you go to have the exact same objects that are nos in your home with nothing added.
Yes, your child will get to the point where he knows what is and isn’t okay at home. He will ignore the nos. That isn’t a problem. You just want to be sure that your child obeys you. When you are in a new situation, you want him to listen to your voice. You will encounter new nos at the park, the store, your friend’s house, on a walk, etc.
This is further reason your solution in life is not to “baby-proof” your entire house. Remember, you take care of safety needs, but you don’t remove everything from your child’s reach in order to avoid conflict with the child (see Baby-Proofing ). You want your child to learn to obey you. It takes time. It takes effort. It takes consistency. But once your child obeys you, you will have no problem taking him shopping with you. You will have no problem taking him to the park while you have your newborn in tow. You will be able to enjoy your child.
Yes, there will be rough days. I remember one day when Kaitlyn was a few weeks old. We went to the park. When it was time to go, Brayden did not want to leave. He cried. Kaitlyn cried while I was trying to round him up. I wondered what on earth I was doing at the park. The hard days will come, but you will have far more good days than bad, and you will be able to take the bad in stride.
- Boundaries (Toddlerwise)
- Boundaries: Part II (Toddlerwise)
- BW II: Freedoms: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/babywise-ii-freedoms.html
- Discipline: Progress is a Spiral
- Teaching Your Baby “No”: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/teaching-your-baby-no.html
- Training in Times of Non-Conflict
- Discipline Methods: 10 Months and up
- Proactive and Directive Parenting
- discipline (blog label)
- obedience (blog label)
- Babywise II (blog label)