Why You Should Let Your Child Be Bored (Yes, Really)

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Boredom isn’t a problem to solve—it’s an opportunity to grow. Learn why allowing your child to experience boredom can build creativity, independence, problem-solving skills, and resilience, while helping them learn to entertain themselves without constant stimulation. The benefits of boredom for children and why you should let your child be bored. Why being bored is good for your child.

The benefits of boredom for children and why you should let your child be bored. Why being bored is good for your child.

The Pressure to Fill Every Minute

Our children are growing up in a fast-paced environment. With all of the modern conveniences we have before us, we rarely have to wait for anything. We don’t even need to wait for commercials before continuing on with our show. We don’t have to wait for next week for our show to air. We just binge an entire season in one sitting.

If we want to talk to someone, we can pretty consistently get a hold of them via text, cell phone, or social media almost instantly. If we want to know the answer to a question, Google or Chat is right in our pockets. We have endless opportunities for communication and stimulation at any given moment.

Because of this, our children rarely have a chance to get bored.

We also live in a world where we can compare ourselves to thousands of people very similar to ourselves — and millions of those dissimilar. While we used to only be worried about keeping up with that one Jones family down the street, we now have families all over the world we can try to keep up with. So we mothers look around on our favorite social media sites (it doesn’t matter which one) and see what hundreds of other mothers are doing with their children. Not one mother — hundreds. Then we try to incorporate as much of what they are doing as we can. We take the best highlights from so many people that we completely overbook our lives with fun ideas.

Because of this, our children rarely have a chance to get bored.

Then someone writes an article about how you only have 18 summers with each child, and 18 is a very small number. We feel a level of panic that yes, we really do need to pack in all of these amazing experiences because 18 isn’t very many, and time is running out!

Because of this, our children rarely have a chance to get bored.

And here’s what I want to say to all of that: It’s okay. You don’t have to fill every moment. In fact, not filling every moment is one of the best gifts you can give your child.

Table of Contents

  • The Pressure to Fill Every Minute
  • What Happens When We Never Let Kids Be Bored
  • Boredom Leads to Imagination and Creativity
  • Boredom Leads to Interaction
  • Boredom Forces Your Child to Face Themselves
  • Boredom Can Lead to Finding New Hobbies and Talents
  • Boredom Fosters Independence
  • What to Do When Your Child Says “I’m Bored”
  • How to Build Boredom Into Your Child’s Schedule
  • Conclusion: Dare to Let Your Child Be Bored

What Happens When We Never Let Kids Be Bored

When children are constantly entertained — by us, by screens, by structured activities — they never develop the internal resources to manage unstructured time. They become dependent on external stimulation to feel okay. And then the moment that stimulation disappears, they fall apart. Whining, arguing, reaching for a screen, pestering a sibling — all of these are symptoms of a child who has never been given the chance to sit with boredom and work through it.

The ability to handle boredom is actually a skill. And like any skill, it has to be practiced.

Today I want to tell you why you should let your child get bored — this summer, next weekend, and any other day of the year. It is not only okay to let your child get bored, it is good.

Boredom Leads to Imagination and Creativity

When you have nothing scheduled to do, and you are faced with either doing nothing or creating something to do, you are going to create it. Your child will not choose to sit and be bored for long. She might try. She might stage a sit-in, proclaiming her feelings of boredom as she attempts to wear you down so you will solve the problem for her or at least default to handing over a tablet. If you hold your ground and make it clear that you don’t mind if she is bored, she will find something to do.

Research backs this up. Studies have found that boredom leads to more imagination and problem-solving. When there’s no ready-made answer to “what should I do?”, the brain gets to work.

I see this play out in my own home during our technology fast — one week every month when we step away from screens entirely. During that week, my children are the most self-driven. They try new things. They play with each other more. They make up games. They draw. They read. They end up having a genuinely great week — often better than weeks packed full of planned activities.

When you are bored, you are motivated to solve a problem. Humans are remarkably good at solving problems when they need to. Boredom creates that need. And that problem-solving instinct? It’s the foundation of creativity.

Think about where some of the best imaginative play comes from — it almost never comes from when a child has a screen in hand or is being entertained by something external. It comes from those moments when they have to figure it out themselves.

>>>Read: How To Respond When Your Child Says “I’m Bored!”

Boredom Leads to Interaction

Along that same line of thinking — when my children are bored, they turn to each other to come up with something to do. Even 12-year-old Brayden would find something mutually enjoyable to do with 5-year-old Brinley when it was just the two of them and they had nothing scheduled. A big part of that was Brayden wanting to make Brinley happy. The interaction strengthens their bond in a way that a structured activity — where I’ve already done the planning for them — simply doesn’t.

This is something I genuinely could not manufacture for them. No activity I planned would produce the same kind of sibling connection as the two of them figuring out together how to spend an empty afternoon. They negotiated, they compromised, they entertained each other. Those moments become memories.

Boredom also opens the door for kids to seek out connection with you in a more genuine way. Not because there’s nothing else to do, but because they’ve naturally arrived at wanting company. That is a different kind of conversation than one you have while driving to an activity.

>>>Read: Managing Sibling Conflict When Kids Are Home Together All Day

Boredom Forces Your Child to Face Themselves

This is perhaps the benefit of boredom I find most compelling, and it’s one we don’t talk about enough.

Psychology Today notes that what boredom does, effectively, is open the shutters on some very uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that we normally block out with a flurry of activity or distraction. Boredom forces us to face things.

Burying thoughts, feelings, and emotions is not healthy. If boredom helps a child — and honestly, adults too — have to sit with and process those things, I call that a win for mental health. It is also a great way for a child to get to know themselves. When they are forced to find something they enjoy without another person directing their efforts, they discover what they actually like. What brings them joy. What kind of person they are becoming.

That self-knowledge is something no amount of scheduled activities can hand to a child. It can only come from within.

Boredom Can Lead to Finding New Hobbies and Talents

When you have nothing to do and genuinely want to find something, you are far more willing to give things a try. You’ll attempt the craft kit that’s been sitting on the shelf for six months. You’ll go outside and discover you actually love throwing a football. You’ll start reading a book series you never would have picked up with a full schedule.

This is how hobbies are born. This is how talents are discovered.

If your child’s every moment is filled with things you have planned, she never gets the chance to stumble into something she loves on her own. Boredom creates that open door. It gives her permission to experiment, try, fail, try something else — and possibly find something that will be a source of joy for years.

Boredom Fosters Independence

Think about it. If your child never has a moment to figure out what to do with herself, how does she learn how to function independently? How does she learn to occupy her own mind and manage her own time?

If your child gets bored — and works through it — she develops the ability to function on her own. That skill is going to matter a great deal as she grows up. The teenager who can’t be alone without a screen, the college student who doesn’t know how to handle downtime, the adult who is constantly seeking stimulation — these are often people who were never taught, in childhood, how to simply be with themselves.

Independent Playtime from the early Babywise years is really laying the groundwork for this. We teach babies and toddlers to play independently for a period each day, and what we are doing is building the skill of self-sufficiency — the ability to find contentment and purpose without being constantly directed. Boredom in older children is an extension of that same principle.

>>>Read: Independent Playtime: The Ultimate Overview

What to Do When Your Child Says “I’m Bored”

At some point — usually around age 4 or older, though some kids get there earlier — you are going to hear those two little words: I’m bored.

Have a plan for it. I love using canned phrases for common parenting situations, and this is one of them. A canned phrase means you’ve already thought about your response ahead of time. You know what you’ll say. You’re not caught off guard or tempted to scramble to solve the problem for them.

My go-to response is some version of: “That’s great! I wonder what you’ll come up with.”

The key is your tone and your follow-through. You are not panicked. You are not rushing to fix it. You genuinely believe boredom is an opportunity — and you convey that.

Your child may push back. She may try to negotiate, whine, or escalate to wear you down. Don’t take the bait. Stay cheerful and calm. The message you want to send is: I trust you to figure this out. I’m not worried about you being bored. You’ve got this.

Over time, with consistency, your child will stop coming to you with boredom complaints — because she’ll know you won’t rescue her from it, and because she’ll have learned she actually can figure it out herself.

Brinley, at age 13, would often text me from school and say, “I’m bored.” My response was always, “That’s good!” or “That’s great!” and I would often add, “That is how you become creative”

How to Build Boredom Into Your Child’s Schedule

Here’s the practical part. If you want your child to have unstructured time, you have to protect it the same way you’d protect any other priority — by intentionally leaving space for it.

In your daily schedule: Build in blocks of free, unstructured time. Not screen time. Not “here are three options.” Just open time. This is especially valuable in the summers, on weekends, and after school once homework is done.

In your summer planning: As you map out your summer, leave gaps. Not every week needs a camp. Not every afternoon needs an outing. Those empty pockets are where your children will surprise you.

In your parenting posture: When your child complains of boredom, resist the urge to immediately produce a solution. Give it five minutes. Give it fifteen. You may be amazed at what she finds to do on her own.

Set the environment: Boredom works best when screens aren’t the first available option. If picking up a phone or turning on the TV is immediately possible the moment boredom strikes, you’ve removed the creative pressure that makes boredom so valuable. Our technology fasts have shown me this clearly — when the screen isn’t available, the imagination kicks in fast.

>>>Read: How to Balance Summer Fun and Routine for Kids

Conclusion: Dare to Let Your Child Be Bored

When your child tells you he is bored this summer, don’t let yourself feel guilty. Don’t run through the hundreds of things you could be doing but aren’t doing. Instead, think: “Good. I’m glad I gave you that opportunity.”

Your child will develop his imagination, his creativity, his hobbies, and his perseverance by working through boredom — not by having it solved for him. Those 18 summers matter, yes. But what will fill them most meaningfully isn’t a packed calendar. It’s a child who knows how to be curious, creative, and content on his own. ALSO, I happen to be currently spending summer number 21 with Brayden and summer number 19 with Kaitlyn…so somehow we still stayed in contact after the 18th summer.

So as you plan out your schedule for this summer and beyond, leave time for boredom. Keep openings in your days. Let your children really know what boredom feels like, and then stand back and watch them work through it.

Dare to let your child get bored.

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This post first appeared on this blog in May 2018

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