Thursday, May 27, 2010

Ideas For Showing Words of Affirmation

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The Five Love Languages of Children

I forgot to add this to the post last week, and I think it must be added. Here are some concrete ideas for ways to show words of affirmation:
  • Put a note in the lunchbox, backpack, pocket, etc.
  • Mention specific things you see your child do that you like.
  • Ask what your child wants to be when he grows up. Then comment on things about him that will make him a good XYZ.
  • Record yourself telling your child how much he means to you.
  • At special occasions, tell your child how much he means to you.
  • Create a drawing or painting of what you love about your child.
  • Display things your child has made or photos of things your child has made. Let your child know why you love it.
  • If you aren't home with your child, call your child randomly in the day just to say I love you.
  • Have a special name of affection that is only for your child.
  • Tell your child "I love you" consistently.
  • Leave notes around the house to tell your child you love him.
  • Share things you love about your child with others when your child is present.
  • Create an encouragement jar. Drop notes of things you love about your child in it.
  • When your child messes up, express in words that you knew of your child's good intentions first.
Our Experiences
As I mentioned in the last post, my husband and son both are words of affirmation people. Here are a few experiences we have had with these things.

At Brayden's birthday this last week, I had the family go around and say what they love about him. We had all of his grandparents and one great grandparent there, along with his sisters and my husband and me. We all took turns saying what we loved about Brayden. He sat there with a shy little smile. I know he loved every minute of it.

My husband loves it when I leave notes for him around the house or in his things he takes to work. He also loves text messages or emails telling him I love him.

One Valentine's Day, I made a jar full of reasons I love my husband. I told him he could reach in there and pull a paper out anytime to be reminded that I love him and why.

Do you have any additional ideas or experiences you have with words of affirmation? Please share!

7 comments:

Katy said...

I know this is my husband's love language, too, but it is sometimes hard to verbalize things I should say (even when I'm thinking them!). He is often giving me certain compliments or comments that don't necessarily mean a lot to me (I'm sure I take it for granted)... but I noticed that those are the kinds of things he would probably like to hear, too!

Our first Valentines Day being married, I made a perpetual calendar with a saying for each day - something I like/love about him, a special memory/anniversary (on the appropriate day), something he does that shows he loves me, a Bible verse, etc. It was a lot of work to format and print and put together (and, honestly, come up with 366 items!), but I was really happy with it. He put it on his desk at work. :) You could do this for a child or anyone. You could even just do 31 days to be repeated each month!

I might have to use the jar idea sometime.

Tara said...

These are great ideas! Thank you for sharing---I'm going to keep them handy for future reference.

I do have a question and I couldn't find anything else on your blog about it. Since you have a boy and 2 girls, I think you'd be able to make a great post about this. :)

I was wondering what you think are unique challenges for boys versus girls. Or if gender doesn't matter at all. I ask because I have a 5 month old baby boy who so far has a very easygoing, happy, sweet disposition. Yet a lot of what I read indicates that boys are a lot more difficult than girls. I just find that so hard to believe. I honestly always thought a girl would be harder.

Have you found there are distinct differences in raising boys and girls? Or does it all come down to the child's personality?

Plowmanators said...

Katy, I know just what you mean. My husband is constantly complimenting me and I definitely don't do it back as much as he would like I am sure. Brayden is also constantly complimenting.

I LOVE your calendar idea. I am totally doing that for Father's Day. I sat down with the kids to get their thoughts today and we will make something for him over the next few weeks. He will love it. Thanks!

Plowmanators said...

Tara,

There are most definitely differences between boys and girls. I have had requests for this in the past and it is on my list of posts to write. It will come up soon.

For now, yes, boys tend to be busier. Boys are often more difficult babies than girls are. Maybe you have lots of energy and don't notice or maybe your son is a more relaxed boy :) Girls will sit and play with something on the floor for an extended period whereas boys tend to want to move and move--constantly.

But as they grow up, I think boys get easier whilel girls get harder. Girls get major emotions...

So there are definitely differences. Personality of course plays a role, as does your nurturing. There isn't just one factor that impacts things.

That is my short, pre-post answer :)

Tara said...

Thanks Valerie! I look forward to your longer post on this, but thanks for the short version. :)

I think my son is a very relaxed boy. People tell me that a lot, although he does have his wriggling and rolling around times. Still, he is only 5 months old so we'll see what he does when crawling, walking, etc. start.

I have noticed that my son seems easily distracted, especially while nursing now. Is that a boy thing too? I really need to get a book about bringing up boys. :) This is my first baby so I have nothing to compare to.

Plowmanators said...

That is possible. My son was easily destracted as a nurser, also, but I kind of always attributed that to me not doing a good job of keeping him on task. I was very different with my girls.

They do say that boys need to move around a lot; in classrooms, boys have a harder time sitting still than girls and boys really need recess to get the energy out so they can focus.

Boys and girls are definitely different.

Marcia (123 blog) said...

How interesting - I also posted a series (but much shorter than yours) on my blog mid-March and the last one last week Friday)

Love the love languages :)

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