8 Ways to Respond to, “Everyone is Doing It!”

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8 Ways to Respond to, “Everyone is Doing It!” Helpful phrases to be prepared for how to respond. 

The phrase, “Everyone is doing it!” is a time-honored phrase of children everywhere who are trying to get their parents to agree to something. While parents have a time honored response of “If everyone jumped off a cliff…”, you also can’t help but start to wonder if you on the right track with what you are allowing and what you aren’t.

It can be good to crowd source from similarly-minded parents to see if you are on the right track or not; however, you don’t want to drive your parenting decisions based on what others are doing or not doing. It can be so helpful to have some phrases you have in your family that express the point that your child won’t get to do everything the friends and acquaintances get to do. 

I have written a post on how to respond when your child presents “everyone else is doing it!” I asked blog readers how they respond to this phrase. Here are 8 phrases you can use when your child tells you “But everyone is doing it!”

“We want to make wise choices for our family.”

Rene said: for our youngest and
“we watch movies as a family”. With wanting things or to do
activities we often talk it out. For example, my girls wanted light up shoes
(they later got them for Christmas from grandparents). It was a good
opportunity to talk about budget, giving to others, and comparing cost. Once
the 9yo was on board, the younger ones were too. (It’s funny because now the
9yo is very conservative on where she wears them.)

“Other families have different rules; these are your family’s rules.”

“We’re not going to play that way in our family.”

“The road to destruction is broad, but the road to life is narrow.”

“We show kindness and respect to ourselves and others. Is {fill in the blank} kind and respectful?”

“Other families have different rules.”Amy said: We talk a lot about how
other families have different rules, and their rules are good for them, but our
rules are our rules and that’s the way we will go. When my second grader was on
his last few days of kindy, the teacher suggested we send in a game that
the kids could play as she was packing up the classroom. So Ethan and I
discussed it and we settled on Connect 4 – I figured it was one he could easily
set up and there weren’t too many pieces to loose. He came home all chatty
about how so-and-so brought their iPhone and so-and-so brought their iPad.
Apparently most of them brought in “their” devices. 

“If they jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?”

“Yes, your friend’s family may do xyz, but we are [last name], and [last name] don’t.”Manda said: I
also often discuss with them why. When my 16 yo was 11 and everyone had a cell
phone she was super annoyed that we don’t allow it until the kids are driving
age. I pointed out our reasons (safety, cost, etc) but also what I had seen
among her friends. Namely that what they had often wasn’t a full cell phone…it
was a prepaid minute plan and they were always out of minutes. Also, they would
get grounded from their phones for misusing them All.The.Time! Seriously, they
always had it taken away. We explained that this was a good sign her friends
weren’t really ready for the privilege. She listened but didn’t agree at the
time but now 4 years later told me, “I see what you guys meant about the cell
phones!”

Conclusion

When you have a solid plan on how to respond when your child tries to talk you into agreeing to something based on peer pressure, you can respond easily and with confidence. You can always respond with your phrase and then ponder it. Decide if you think you should change a rule. We aren’t perfect. Sometimes we need to tweak things. But we should parent our individual children based on their needs and not on what other people have decided is best for their individual child. Having a phrase gives you something to say in the moment and also sets a bar in your home so your child knows mom and dad won’t do something just because “every” other parent is. 

Related Posts:

8 Ways to Respond to, "Everyone is Doing It!" Helpful phrases to be prepared for how to respond.

8 Ways to Respond to, "Everyone is Doing It!" Helpful phrases to be prepared for how to respond.

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valplowman

Valerie, also known as The Babywise Mom, is the mother to four children. She has been blogging on Babywise and general parenting since 2007. She has a degree in technical writing and loves using those skills to help parents be the best parents they can be! Read her book, The Babywise Mom Nap Guide, to get help on sleep from birth through the preschool years. You can also find her writing at Babywise.life, Today Parenting, and Her View From Home. Read more about Valerie and her family on the About page. Follow her on FacebookPinterest, and Instagram for more tips and helps.

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