Do you find yourself thinking about how easy your first baby was and wishing your current baby was the same way? Read this for perspective.
I often see questions that go something like this:
“I have two children. My first baby was a perfect BW baby and was so easy. My 8 week old is not. She does not sleep well…”
Sometimes, this is true. Sometimes we get a baby with a really easy disposition as our first baby.
But most of the time, I think this is actually a false statement.
When Kaitlyn, my second child, was a newborn, I remember thinking, “it was never this hard with Brayden!” I have a really good memory, so I was pretty sure I was correct in this belief.
One day, I decided to read my journal from when Brayden was a baby. I realized I was very wrong.
I mean, in a way I was right–it wasn’t that hard with Brayden. It was infinitely harder when he was a baby!
At the moment with Kaitlyn, I thought she was so much more difficult than Brayden had been, but when I was able to read what I wrote in those newborn months with Brayden, I realized I was very wrong.
Humans have a way of blocking out the bad parts of memories and enhancing or glorifying the past.
“The good old days” are always good. Even if they were hard.
This brings to light the great value keeping journals and logs can be to your future sanity. It can also bring you hope. I knew if Brayden could go from that difficult to where he was that day, my road with Kaitlyn was very doable.
Newborns are Hard
The fact is that newborns are just hard. I know some people find the newborn months to be super easy, but for whatever reason, it is a hard time period for me.
McKenna was about as easy of a newborn as you could hope for (just read her newborn summaries), and I still was on edge during the period. Be it hormones or what–it was hard.
The same was true with Brinley, my fourth baby. She wasn’t as hard in my mind and I enjoyed it more, but I also understood how fast time really went AND I knew she would be my last baby. So instead of thinking “this is my life” I know it was very short term.
Babies are hard even if they are easy. They bring lots of changes to life, and change takes time and adjustment. Add a lack of optimal sleep, crazy emotions, and a sudden loss of free time and it is no wonder we think our newborns are so difficult.
So hang in there! And keep notes. Someday you might be reading that comment and remembering that life really was difficult back then and not the portrait of perfection you have painted in your mind.
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- My Sleep Hierarchy For Newborns
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- Postpartum Survival Tips for New Moms
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