Benefits of Babywise in Older Children

I am really happy to be able to reflect on our use of Babywise over the last nearly 9 years as parents and think about the benefits we enjoy now because of work we put in back then.

Thanks to many of you, I think we have greatly improved the success stories for Babywise in babies and young toddlers found on the Internet. When I first started this blog, it was hard to find such stories online. The stories existed in reality, but people weren't putting them out there. I think since then, we have built up a strong community of moms willing to express the benefits to the world. And there is strength in numbers! Confidence is gained as more are willing to share. That is one reason I love the Babywise Success Stories Week we do here each July. 

There still aren't a lot of stories from people with older children. Many of the arguments about the problems with Babywise from the Babywise haters have shifted from the horrible things it will do to your baby to the horrible problems it will cause in your children when they are older. The hearsay scare tactics used about the babies doesn't work as well when there are so many moms with babies who have and are proclaiming the many benefits they have had and providing real-life evidence in their babies that those supposed problems just don't come to pass. So they have shifted essentially to, "The baby might be fine, but the child won't be." 

Because of that, I am very happy to share how my children are today now that they are in or past the age when the Babywise child will supposedly self-implode (if I remember correctly, it is around age 5). I hope to illustrate in a way that shows they are perfectly healthy in every physical and mental way without sounding like a braggart. My intention here is to illustrate how my children, all Babywise babies, have thus far grown to be great. 

In many ways, my children are quite normal for children around here. They aren't perfect angels, but for the most part they are respectful and obedient to authority figures. Their teachers at school and church love and appreciate each of them in the classroom. McKenna's preschool teacher has taught all three of my older children and has commented to me many times during this school year about how well-behaved my children are and has thanked me for that. And while they are all great and have some similar characteristics, they are also very different from each other. They are unique individuals who are growing to be their own person. Let's get a little summary of each child.

Brayden

Brayden is coming up on 9 years old. If I had to use one word to describe Brayden it would be responsible. He is a very confident child (like all of my children are). I find the confidence in my children highly satisfying because of claims I have read about how children who were Babywise babies will grow up to be anxiety ridden children who are constantly scared. Brayden is very smart. This is another win for me because a favorite theory of anti-Babywise people is that CIO will damage the brain. Brayden is in the gifted and talented program at school. It is a small group of children. There are only two boys in the program for his grade. He is also one of the youngest people in his grade. 

Recently, the children in the gifted and talented program presented reports they had created. The other children all took about 3 minutes each. Brayden got up last and took 11 minutes (I recorded the whole thing). He was perfectly confident and comfortable getting in front of the crowd. He also regularly bears his testimony at church. This involves him voluntarily standing up and walking to the pulpit in front of the 300-500 people in the room and declaring his testimony. 

This isn't to say he is never scared of anything and never worries about anything. He does, but in a very normal way of children. Overall, he is more confident than most children his age. I would guess there are shy Babywise children out there, and I would say that is perfectly normal. There are shy children from any parenting philosophy, just as their are confident children from any parenting philosophy. My point here is that despite claims to the contrary, Babywise did not destroy confidence in any of my children. 

Brayden can handle being alone. He has fun with friends. He is service-minded. He and his friends at school started a club to clean up trash on the playground because they noticed there was a lot of garbage around. He has always enjoyed helping others. He is very helpful at home. He is great about doing what he needs to do and completing tasks and chores that need to be done.

Kaitlyn

Kaitlyn is coming up on 7 years old. The best word to describe Kaitlyn is sweet. She is always concerned for others and is the most natural and perfect hostess. Kaitlyn is very willing to work hard at something until she has it down perfectly. She doesn't get frustrated as she practices over and over and over again. She recognizes to be good at something, it takes effort and she is very patient as she puts that effort in. Because of this, Kaitlyn is basically good at everything she does. I have seen her apply herself to thing after thing, from braiding hair, to art, to riding a bike. She came inside the other day triumphantly and told me she had finally perfected the art of turning on her bike. 

Kaitlyn is also very smart. The gifted and talented program at our school starts in third grade and she is in first, but the base entrance upon test scores, drive, and work ethic as well as classroom behavior. She is definitely on par for achieving all of the requirements to be placed in the program. 

Kaitlyn loves to help. She is an amazing big sister. She loves to do all she can to take care of Brinley. She is very selfless and will sacrifice much for other people. Kaitlyn will really be an amazing mother some day. 

McKenna

McKenna is coming up on 5 years old. The best word to describe McKenna is fun. She is the life of the party and has a smile that lights up the room. She is always laughing and has a good time no matter what situation she finds herself in. She is a very happy person. McKenna has energy that never dies and is always putting that energy into something. She is the child who says she never wants to grow up--she wants to be a child forever. 

McKenna is strong physically and mentally. She is smart and athletic. She has been my strong-willed child. She often has to work to control herself to listen to authority figures. But she puts the effort in and can do it--to the point that her preschool teacher tells me she is perfectly behaved. I honestly didn't know if McKenna would be a child who was good in class. I worked with her. I hoped she would be, but sometimes the fun factor can take over her motivating driving force. Despite her young age, she is able to assess a situation and behave appropriately for the situation. This would not have happened without the self-discipline that comes from instituting Babywise principles. 

McKenna is friends with everyone she meets. It doesn't matter if we are at the park, a basketball game, or standing in line to get into a play, McKenna will make a new bestie within a few minutes. She also doesn't care how old or young you are--everyone is free game for bestie status. Her number one and two people on her desired guest list for her birthday party are her primary teachers at church. 

Brinley

Brinley is young--only 19 months. She is not an older child. But I will say this about her. She has been a very happy baby and a very loving and pleasant toddler. She loves to give hugs and kisses to her family. She is very gregarious. She has a ton of charisma. She can basically get whatever she wants from anybody. She charms the elderly at church and makes their day each Sunday. 

Brinley is also very confident. The other day she looked in the mirror and said, "Oh I so coot!" Like my other children, she loves having her routine and knowing where she goes next and what to expect in life. She fully trusts me. When she asks for something--from food to going outside--if I tell her "just a minute" she says "kay" and she patiently waits until I get her what she asked for. She knows that when I tell her something, I mean it. She trusts my word. 

Conclusion

For my children to be who they are today, it has taken a lot of effort, but it hasn't been terribly difficult. It is hard to explain it because it hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been hard. I have put a lot into it, but it hasn't been something that other people couldn't do.

I have valued sleep. I have put effort into making sure they are good sleepers who can sleep on their own. I have given them consistent naps, bedtime, morning wake up time, and rest times over the years. Get more info on Naps and Sleep

I have valued independent playtime. I have been sure they are able to play independently. I have made it as consistent as possible per the circumstances (back when Brinley had two naps a day, it was hard to be every day with having schedules of older kids to work around, but she has been consistent since moving to one nap). Get more info on Independent Play.

I have worked to allow them to be independent people. I have taught them the value of hard work and I have expected them to be able to solve problems independently. I have helped them as they have needed, but I believe their ability to problem solve independently can be attributed in large part to independent playtime and having to problem solve on their own each day. Get more info on Chores.

I have expected respect from my children. They know they must respect authority figures. Get more info on Discipline.

My children know they are not the center of the universe. I give a lot to my children, but they do not get to interrupt adults (or any conversation) without being corrected for it. They know that mom and dad are people two and have feelings that should be considered. Get more info on Family Dynamics.

They know throwing fits gets them further from their goal then they ever were before the fit. Get more info on Discipline.

There are so many little things that really have all struck me as common sense when I have read them in the Babywise books that we have implemented that have helped my children grow so far into the delightful people they are. They amaze me each day. I am excited to see them grow and see all they will become. They are equipped with tools to do what they need to do and I have no doubt they will continue to amaze me in the future.

BFBN Week: Having Babies Close Together {Benefits of Babywise}

It is Babywise Friendly Blog Network week! This week ,we are focusing on the benefits of Babywise. Today's post is from Rachel at A Mother Far From Home and she is talking about "Why having babies close together isn't as hard as you might think (benefits of Babywise)." Rachel gives several reasons why having her first three children in 2.5 years was not as hard as some might think it would be--all because of the benefits Babywise provides. 

Rachel has excellent points. My first three were not as close as hers, but Brayden was 3 when McKenna was born, so they were pretty close. While there are challenges with children close in age, there are some major benefits thanks to Babywise. Rachel says,

My 2-year-old and 1-year-old are on the same schedule now and this makes life a lot easier. They do independent play in their rooms at the same time, go down for naps at the same time, and go to bed generally at the same time. Having a predictable daily routine helps make having three children so close together possible. In fact, it even makes it highly enjoyable.

Rachel is so right! It is so nice to be able to work things out so everyone is on as similar of a schedule as possible. It helps you to be able to manage all of the children with success.

Go on over to A Mother Far From Home to see all of the reasons she has found Babywise helpful in having children close together. 

It Works! Wraps {Giveaway!}

Today's giveaway is from Kylee & Miles Wiscombe who have two little guys that have thrived on babywise!  They bring us That Crazy Wrap Thing from It Works!The Ultimate Body Applicator (Crazy Wrap Thing) offers a natural solution to take you from flab to fab.  The non-woven, cloth wraps are infused with a powerful, botanically based formula that delivers maximum tightening, toning and firming results when applied to the skin.  It also minimizes cellulite appearance.  You can see instant results in as little as 45 minutes and progressive results over 72 hours.   

Some people have very dramatic results with this product. If you Google "It Works wrap review," you will see all sorts of pictures of before and afters of results. I used four applications. I took before and after pictures. If I hadn't taken pictures, I would have thought there was really no change. Looking at the pictures, I see there was a change (for the better :) ). I wasn't one of those who look like a different person, and no one has commented that I look different at all, but there was definitely some tightening and firming in the abdomen, which is very nice after five pregnancies! 

According to the Wiscombes, "The Ultimate Body Applicator is just one of the AMAZING products that It Works! Global has to offer.  We also have a long line of all natural products that help with weight loss, joint pain, stress relief, menopausal symptoms, skin care and overall detoxification of the body.  If you are unhappy with your body, your energy level, your health in general or are looking for an extra income stream...then contact us!"

Today, the Wiscombes are giving away a box of 4 wraps--a $99 value! Enter for the wraps below:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

ENTRY RULES

• You must enter the giveaway to have an entry.
• You must fulfill the rules of each entry for each entry to count. If I see the entry is not valid (did not meet entry requirements), I will disqualify your entry. Trust me, I check.
• Entries will be accepted until 12:00 midnight March 15, 2014 (so that means you will not be able to enter on the 15 at all).
• The winner will be randomly selected through Rafflecopter.
• The winner will be announced sometime after the winner is chosen. I will email the winner.
• Once the winner is announced, you will have one week to contact me or another winner will be chosen. Be sure to check back and/or check your email. The only thing worse than not winning is to win but not realize it in time.
• I will not use your email address for any purpose other than contacting you if you are the winner (and FYI, I don't have access to the email addresses except for the winner).

Feed Me Friday: The Best Rolls EVER

I am not kidding. This is the best roll recipe ever. Ever. I got this recipe from a collage roommate. I make them in my Bosch, but before I owned a Bosch, I made them literally with my bare hands, so you have no excuse for not being able to make the best rolls ever. Ever. Brayden can make these, so you can, too.

In a large bowl, mix:

• 2 cups warm water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2 T yeast (Saf Instant Yeast is my favorite yeast and is fool-proof. Don't be scared of yeast, just buy Saf).

Let this mixture grow for about 5 minutes. Truth be told, in my Bosch and with my Saf, this mixture grows for as long as it takes me to put the next ingredient in.

Add and mix:

• 1 cube of melted butter--also known as one stick, 1/2 cup, or 8 T (and that, my friends, is why these rolls are amazing even days later).
• 2 tsp salt
• 2 eggs (I have accidentally forgotten to put the eggs in before and things still turned out fine).

Add:

• 6 cups flour. I almost always have to add more than 6 cups. Start with 6 and add more until it is the right texture (you don't want it super sticky, but it will be slightly sticky. If you are mixing in a Bosch, you want to mix until the dough pulls away from the sides). I often do 3 cups bread flour and 3 cups freshly ground whole wheat flour.

Rise dough to top of bowl. The time for this varies based on humidity and temperature. Plan on at least an hour. You want it to double its original size.

Take dough out of bowl and place on counter top. Roll it out with a rolling pin. I never measure, but I probably roll to about 1/4-1/2 inch thick. 

Cut circles from the dough. I use a drinking cup to cut the circles.

I put a small amount of butter on top of the circle, then fold it in half. This way, the roll is pre-buttered. I then cut the folded edge with a knife. My purpose for this is so the rolls don't come un-folded as they rise again. 

Place on baking sheet. Let them rise again. Now, sometimes I do not have time for much "rising" to happen at this point and the rolls still taste really good. But if you want full amazement and if you want them to taste really good for days, let them rise for another 30-60 minutes.

Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes. If your oven cooks hot, check at 15 minutes. If it cooks cool, you will likely go about 25 minutes. 

Now go enjoy.

You are welcome.

Making Hand-Me-Downs Work in Any Season

layered shirt

When I was in my third trimester with Brinley, I got out the baby girl clothes and went through all of our clothes we had in storage. As I did so, I quickly realized that she would often be totally off in season from the clothes I had. She would be in 3-6 months during the winter, and Kaitlyn was in those during the summer. McKenna's birthday is only 2 weeks off of Kaitlyn's so they were in the same sizes. I groaned as I thought about having to buy a whole new wardrobe.

But I didn't have to! I was able to make most clothing work. Now, some things just don't work. Snowlfakes look out of place in July and ladybugs kind of are just annoying in January. But for the most part, most things have been able to be used. Here are some tips for making hand-me-downs work.

Layer

A lot of the shirts I have had for Brinley during winter months are short sleeved. Around here, that doesn't work so well. -10 degrees plus short sleeves equals cold. This is easily solved by layering. 

One way is to buy some long-sleeved onesies or bodysuits.  You can buy packs of all white or you can buy a pack with multi-colors. You put the onesie under the short-sleeved shirt and suddenly you have a shirt that works for winter. 

Another way to layer is to use cardigans. This time you put the layer over the short-sleeved shirt. 

Wear it Big 

There have been many clothes that Brinley has worn and does wear that are bigger than would be ideal for her size. For example, this winter she has worn a lot of 2T clothes since Kaitlyn was in winter at 9-12 months and then 2T size. Most things have been fine. The size difference is actually often pretty minimal when you old sizes up to each other. 

Wear it Small

There have been other clothes that have worked on the smaller side. If you have leggings that are too short, let them become capris. Brinley is 19 months and in the 50s% for height and weight and still able to wear many 12 month size clothes comfortably.

Let Off Sizes and Dirty Clothes Be Play Clothes

Since we have a limited number of clothes that actually fit her perfectly, I am sure to not put her in her perfect sized clothes when there is a good chance she will get dirty.

I am also very careful about this with McKenna. Since she will be passing clothes down to Brinley, I am sure she changes into clothes that already have holes or stains before going outside or doing something messy. I want to preserve what I can so that I don't have to buy all new clothes when Brinley gets to those sizes. 

Buy Some Clothes That Fit

For every size, I have purchased usually about two shirts and one to two pairs of pants that will fit her perfectly and also that look like her. Different children look better in different colors. This way I can always have something I think she is really cute in for those days I want her to look cute. 

What do you do to make hand-me-downs work?

Poll Discussion Post: Crib to Bed Transition

Time for a poll on the Crib to Bed transition. Here are the questions:

1. What age did you first move your child from crib to bed?
2. In your opinion, was that a good age?
3. If not, do you think it should have been done younger or older?
4. How did you prepare your child for the transition?
5. What kind of rules did you set for the transition?
6. Did your child stay in bed at the transition, or did your child test limits a get out of bed?
7. If your child tested limits, what things did you do that helped your child stay in bed?
8. Was there disruption to normal sleep patterns at the transition?
9. How long did it take your child to sleep as normal in the "big bed"?
10. Any words of wisdom? Advice?

You can answer for each child you have that has made the transition.

Brayden Preteen Summary: 8.75 Years

This is a summary for Brayden from 8.5-8.75 years old.

EATING

Eating is at our new normal with Brayden eating a lot more that he did when younger.

SLEEPING

Sleeping is good. Brayden has his waves--every so often he feels some compelling need to get out of his bed several times at night. He needs to go potty. He needs to get a drink. He needs to give an extra hug. Brayden did a report on Earthquakes and during the time he was researching this report, he started getting out of bed several times each night. We went a couple of weeks of patiently talking through things and sending him back to bed. 

Finally, however, I had lost the patience for nicely waiting for him to decide to stay in his bed at bedtime. I told him any time he got out of bed would lose him video games for a week. I told him that would ensure he would only get out of bed if he really needed to. I explained he needed to go to the bathroom before bed, get his drinks before bed, and get his hugs and kisses quota in before bed. The threat cured him and he never had to experience loss of video games. 

An interesting thing is that once I laid down that law, he also stopped worrying about earthquakes. Once he wasn't allowed to come out and indulge on the worry, he worked it out with himself to not be worried. He was proud after a couple of nights and told me how he had figured out how to worry about it. It was an interesting learning experience for me as a parent. I think it was right to help him work through those fears, but at some point we became a crutch to him. Once he had to work out the problem himself, he did. 

EXTRA ACTIVITIES

During the last three months, Brayden has taken piano lessons and swimming lessons. He also still does scouting. He played in a basketball league. He also has been in a musical that I have been directing. 

SWEET BOY

Brayden is a very sweet child. He read a story the other day about a boy whose mom broke her foot. The boy decided to make dinner each night to help his mom. He told me he wanted to do that since I hurt my foot. 

BODY ODOR? 

I distinctly remember my third grade teacher having to tell people that it was time they started to wear deodorant. Because of that, I have been paying attention and waiting for that day to come for Brayden. It hasn't yet, but I wanted to point it out so anyone with a child in this age range can be on the lookout (or smellout) for it. I did some research on the topic and apparently the sweat glads that produce the sweat that bacteria like to feed on can develop as young as 5, though for most it is between 8-10. 

BOOKS
Here are some books he loves (you can see more and keep up on books he reads and loves on my Chapter Books for Boys  board. I also have one for girls):

• Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson & the Olympians) by Rick Roidon. He is currently reading this series. He is on the fourth book.
• Eragon (The Inheritance Cycle) by Christopher Paolini. He is currently reading this. He is on the second book.
• Brandon Mull's Beyonders Trilogy
• Janitors by Tyler Whitesides
• Leven Thumps and the Gateway to Foo: This is his current series he just finished
• Fablehaven: The Complete Series by Brandon Mull--he read this entire series two times during the summer
• The Candy Shop War
• 39 Clues (we LOVE these--they are interesting to my husband and me, also): The Maze of Bones (The 39 Clues, Book 1)

SCHEDULE

Brayden's Schedule:

7:00 AM--wake up. Eat breakfast. Get ready. Pack lunch. Practice piano. Do morning chores. Read scriptures. Do daily chore.

Then go to school.

Come home from school. Do homework if he has it.

5:30 PM--Dinner. Then time with family.

7:00 PM Start getting ready for bed.

8:30 PM--in bed 

The Best Parenting Tool You Will Ever Have

If there was one thing I could ever impress upon you--one thing to get you to do to be the best parent you can be--it would be to utilize prayer. Prayer is the best parenting tool you can use.

Prayer is useful no matter the age of your child. I have always used prayer to ask for guidance as I am raising my children. I pray for wisdom and insight when I have a new baby. I need to get to know this baby and know how to best help this baby be content. I pray for strength to face the days and nights with a newborn.

With toddlers, I pray for patience (okay, all ages require that prayer). I pray to know when to send children to school. I pray to keep my children safe at school. I pray to know the right thing to say and how to best discipline my children. I pray for them spiritually, emotionally, socially, and physically. I pray they will have good experiences in their extra curriculars. 

We pray as a family before we go to bed at night. 

We teach our children to pray on their own.

Each morning before my children head off to school, we gather for a prayer to help us through the day. 

The Lord knows your children better than anyone. He also wants you to succeed as a parent even more than you want you to succeed. He wants the best for your children. If you ask for help, you will get it. 

I also want you to know that I pray as I consider what to write for this blog. I take it seriously. As I answer your questions you send me, I approach them prayerfully. As I say that, I wouldn't ever want you to take what I say over what you believe to be what is best for your child. Always trust yourself. Your "gut" and instincts are often proddings from the Lord guiding you. I know the power of prayer is real because I have experienced it. 

I want to share a simple story to illustrate. 

One day about 2-3 years ago, my children were playing in my earshot as I did some sewing. I heard one child say something rather inappropriate. I called for that child to come to me. Inside, my blood was boiling. I was very upset the child had said what had been said (and today, I can't even remember what it was, but I do know it was something I wouldn't want my children saying). As the child walked to me, I prayed for wisdom and to be calm. When the child got to me, I knew all of the right things to say. I was calm and loving as I corrected the child. What could have been a moment of anger turned into a teaching moment for both of us. 

No matter how seemingly trivial your parenting dilemmas might seem to you in the grand scheme of the universe, the Lord cares about you and your child and He will guide you as you strive to be the best parent you can be. Keep the tool of prayer handy and well-used. It will serve you well as you parent your children.

Pinteresting Fridays: St. Patrick's Day

I am not the type to do all of the extra St. Patrick's Day activities. You know the ones. The leprechauns creating mischief. The "green pee" in the toilet. The green footprints around the house. My feet dyed green. Every bite of food for the day being green...it isn't my thing. Last year, I remember feeling guilty that I didn't do all of those things until I came across a post by some wonderful woman commenting that things had been blown way out of proportion for this holiday. And of course I don't know where it is--but thank you. It made me step back and evaluate how I want to do St. Patrick's Day at our house.

Sometimes Pinterest has a way of making you feel like the worlds lamest mom because you don't do all of the amazing things you see. But nobody does every amazing thing you see--lots of people do lots of things and then you look at all of them at once and feel like a failure.

I don't want to do that to you today.

In my day, we celebrated St. Patrick's Day by wearing green so we wouldn't get pinched by those children just waiting for March 17 so they could freely cause pain to the people around them. As a parent, I wanted to take things up a notch and thought it would be fun to have some green milk with breakfast and maybe some other green food. I like to do learning activities with my kids so we do St. Patrick's themed activities leading up to it. That's what we do.

Maybe you like leaving it to wearing green.

Or maybe you like getting pinched. 

Or maybe you love to make it a huge holiday to bring some excitement to your life--it has been almost three months since the last major holiday after all! And if you like to go all out and want to, I don't see anything wrong with it! 

My point here is to figure out what you want your traditions to be for your family based on what you want to do--not based on what you feel like you should be doing because you found some great ideas on Pinterest. Take what you want, admire the rest, and let the billion ideas you don't use slip into a category of "that looks fun" and not "I am a terrible mom."

Here are some various ideas to suit your possible different avenues. See all of my St. Patrick's Day pins here.

For the Foodies by Modern Parents Messy Kids

I love food. I love to have fun food to celebrate things. If you are a foodie, you will enjoy this roundup of a variety of foods to go along with St. Patrick's Day. 

For the Decorators by Printable Decor

I love to decorate for Holidays. This is something I do even for the "small" holidays. A simple way to decorate is to find a fun printable online, put it in a frame, and change out the printables each season.

 For the Inner Teachers by Crunchy Frugalista

This post has 17 different learning activity type crafts to do with your children.

For the Party People by Premeditated Leftovers

You want an excuse for some party games? Here are some St. Patrick games for you.

For the Mischief Makers by the Fickle Pickle

If you want to go all out, this is the post for you. If not, only visit if you can be okay with seeing a mom who does go all out.

Marriage, Technology, Social Media, and Loyalty

I always find technology changes to be fascinating in our modern world. The technology available to us each day is completely new and hasn't been faced in the past. We are the pioneers forging the way and figuring out what is appropriate and what isn't with social media and technology.

It used to be suggested that the computer be put in a high traffic area in the home so that whatever was being done or viewed by the user could easily be seen by the family. The idea was to keep honest people honest. 

Then our personal devices came along. We now have handheld devices and can carry the Internet around in our pockets. That means that we can easily access sites, images, and people that we frankly shouldn't and we can do so privately and without anyone ever finding out. 

Loyalty.

We must make the character trait of loyalty be who we are. We must be "fiercely loyal" to our spouse. If we are loyal, we will be worthy in our social media and technology uses. We need to be transparent in our uses of our technological devices. I read an article on what makes marriages happy, and the topic of being transparent and loyal was discussed as one of the ingredients to a happy marriage. Here are some modern ways to keep the honest honest. 

• Keep your internet use transparent. Don't do anything on the Internet that you would feel the need to hide it. 
• Know each other's passwords. If your spouse knows your password, you will be less likely to be doing anything you shouldn't be doing. Some spouses even share things Facebook accounts and email addresses. 
• Share information. Share with your spouse what you talk about, who you talk to, and what is going on with those you interact with virtually.
• Leave the past alone. It isn't a good idea to go looking into all of the info on past boyfriends or girlfriends--even if you think all you are doing is seeing how good you have it now. Don't do anything that you would not do in front of your spouse. Some people make rules to not be friends with exes.
• Keep trust. Don't share things your spouse wouldn't want shared. Don't air your dirty laundry to the public. Don't share things your spouse doesn't want shared. 
• Don't flirt with anyone other than your spouse. Flirting virtually is not any better than flirting face to face. 
• Don't look at things you shouldn't look at. 

These are some ways you can use maintain loyalty while still using technology and social media. Discuss with your spouse what rules you two want to have in place. What do you do to keep yourself loyal to your spouse while using technology and social media?

Today, the BFBN is blogging about Marriage. Follow us on Pinterest and check out what the others are saying. 

Brinley Toddler Summary {18.5 Months Old}

This is a summary for Brinley from 18-18.5 months old.

SLEEPING

Sleeping started out rough for naps during this period. She was teething and she had a cold. At first I thought maybe the 'cold' was just her sinuses being inflamed from teeth pressure, but then a cough started up so I knew it was actually a cold. 

One day, she woke up after a 1.5 hour nap, which just isn't long enough for her. I checked her video monitor and saw her pants were off and were on the floor along with her blanket and everything else. 

I went in, put her bed back together, and put her pants back on her. I put her back in bed and told her to go back to sleep and left. She got very mad and cried for about a few minutes, but then she fell back asleep and slept for another two hours. 

Once I was sure she had a cold, I started using Baby Vics on her feet and chest at sleep times and she went back to sleeping well. That is the best thing for her when she has a cold.

EATING

Eating is continuing on as usual. She is still improving her food dropping, but if it is too close to nap or if she is done eating, she will start sliding her food to the ground. She doesn't like food in front of her once she is done. When she doesn't drop it, she will hold it out to us for us to take it away. 

PLAYING

During the same period when she wasn't sleeping as well, she wouldn't do Independent Playtime as well. 

NEW TOOTH

She cut a molar during this period and is close on a second one. 

"NO"

Last time, I told her how she loved to say no to every question. She started to use "no" when she meant no and "yes" when she meant yes. 

GETTING OLDER

There is something about turning 18 months old--they just suddenly act so much older! And the personality just starts to ooze out. They have a personality before 18 months of course, but it really starts to shine in big ways and you see all of their quirks and get to know who they really are a lot better once they turn 18 months. 

SENTENCES

Brinley said her first sentences during this period! One day, we were playing ball (she loves to play with balls). We were passing a basketball back and forth. Then she got tired of it and said, "No the ball!" How exciting! 

After that, I noticed her saying lots of sentences. A classic was "Ha ha! Oh I so cute!" (only she pronounces it "coot").

DOCTOR

Brinley went to the doctor during this period. She is pretty much 50 percent on both height and weight. She is doing well in all areas.

One thing that came up is that our state now allows at 18 months children getting all of their boosters required for Kindergarten. It has previously been done at age 5 (or almost 5 if the child isn't quite 5 at Kindergarten registration time). Brayden and Kaitlyn got them at almost 5 and McKenna hasn't quite had hers yet. 

I vacillated for a moment. It isn't fun to take an almost-five-year-old to get vaccinations. They are always scared. I thought it would be nice to have it done now so we don't have to worry about it in the future. But I also remember Kaitlyn having a strong reaction to the vaccinations and I thought that seemed like it would be too much for a little 18 month old body. 

I didn't get them for her. I don't know exactly what I will do in the future. I might consider getting one at age 2, then one at 3, then one at 4. Or maybe 3, 4, and 5. But I don't really want her thinking every time we go to the doctor will equal vaccinations either. I could just wait and get them all at 4. Like a friend pointed out, my children don't go to daycare and aren't in a situation where they are exposed to a lot of things so it isn't like she is at high risk. 

SCHEDULE

8:15--wake up. Eat breakfast (fruit, cereal, and milk)

Get ready. Clean with mom.

10:00 Independent Playtime.

11:30 Play

12:00 Lunch.

Play with McKenna.

1:00--Nap starts

4:00-4:30--wake up. Snack. Play.

5:15--Dinner

7:30--Sippy of milk, then bedtime. In bed by 8:00.

HELPFUL BOOKS

• On Becoming Toddlerwise
• Wholesome Toddlerfood.com
• The Toddler's Busy Book
• What To Expect The Toddler Years (this is okay--I don't love it)
• Super Baby Food
• So Easy Toddler Food cookbook
• The Wonder Weeks. (and a link to their site:http://livingcontrolsystems.com/)
• Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
• The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood
• Baby Body Signs: The Head-to-Toe Guide to Your Child's Health, from Birth Through the Toddler Years
• Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
• The Wonder Weeks 
• http://wholesomebabyfood.com/

RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS:

• Toddler Summary 19 Months Old (for McKenna)
• toddler summary (blog label)
• language development (blog label)

Balancing Baby's Needs With Family's Needs

One of the hardest things about bringing home your second, third, fourth, etc. baby is figuring out how to balance attending to the needs of the baby and the needs of the rest of your family. People range from hunkering down and shutting down all family activities to expecting baby to hit the ground running. Some mammals can walk shortly after birth and some can run the same day they are born--but this is done for them to literally be able to survive. They need to keep up with the herd.

As humans, we are lucky I guess. Our babies don't need to be able to keep up in order to survive--and we shouldn't expect them to. But other members of the family want to get out and continue life. Just as we aren't made to walk from birth, we aren't made to hibernate (though some winters it sounds nice!). So how do we balance these needs of everyone? It is important to make things work for the whole family (see Baby Joins a Family {AND} Family Adds a Baby).

1-Write Down Baby's Needs

I think it is wise to take a step back and first look at this situation logically. Start with a list. What are the real needs of baby? What does baby need to survive day in and day out? Let me give you some ideas. Baby needs to eat. Baby needs to sleep. Baby needs shelter. 

Take a step further--what are things that you believe a baby needs in life. What do you consider a need that isn't necessary a literal need? Something I believe a baby needs is to have most naps in her crib--that is a belief I have. That belief stems from me wanting my child to develop good sleep habits. 

2-Write Down Needs of Family Members

First, I want you to evaluate real needs. Don't confuse needs with wants. I think we often let ourselves think things are needs when really they are just wants. What does each family member need?

I believe social interaction can go in a "need" category. But I also don't think there must be social interaction every day. That pushes things into "want" in my mind.

3-Write Down Wants of Family Members

Once you have a list of real needs, make a list of the wants of each family member. Johnny NEEDS to get out twice a week to play with friends. Now, what does he WANT? Does he want daily? Just three times a week?

4-Write Down Goals for Baby

Have a list of goals you want for your baby. I touched on this with number one. What needs to happen for these goals to be met?

5-Write Down Goals for Family Members

What are some things the members of the family want to be able to accomplish in the next three months? What about six months? What about year?

6-Combine All Lists and Compromise

Now look at all lists at the same time. What can go? What needs to stay? Where can each person compromise?

As you look at these lists, be creative. When I had Brinley, I didn't want us to have to give up our activities but I also wanted her to be able to sleep in her own bed. I did lots of carpooling. I did my best to get lessons at times that wouldn't interfere with naps. I got help. For more on what we did, see Managing Baby Plus Older Kids' Activities. 

7-Keep Timeline in Perspective

As people are making sacrifices, keep the timeline in perspective. As baby gets older, baby is a lot more flexible. I find that once baby hits around 9 months, things get a lot easier and just continue to do so. It sounds like a long time, but it goes by in a flash. Soon, your baby will be old enough to "keep up with the herd." But for now, she needs protecting and needs to be given her time to build her strength. There will be plenty of time for running around later.

See also:

• Adding Baby To The Family: A Balanced Approach: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/06/adding-baby-to-family-balanced-approach.html

• Welcoming Baby to the Family :http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2009/03/welcoming-baby-to-family.html 

Time Change Warning Spring 2014

source

It crept up on me! In the United States (not talking to you Hawaii, Arizona, and parts of Alaska), we will "Spring Forward" March 9. That means that if bedtime is now at 7 PM, it will feel like 6 PM when your child is going to bed. And if waketime is 7 AM, it will feel like 6 AM to your child.

Springing ahead is usually easier than falling back for young children. If you want to be more prepared, you might want to start shifting your schedule now. At our house, we have been staying up late each night watching the Olympics, so our first step will be going to bed at the right time!

Here is a post to help you:

Shifting your schedule

And you can find info on your region of the world here: http://www.timeanddate.com/time/dst/2014.html 

Surviving Bed Rest

Bed rest is one of those things that sounds nice in theory (maybe even heavenly!), and can be nice...for a couple of hours. Then it becomes pretty much torturous--especially if you have children to take care of. There are ways to survive this period. Here are my ideas, your ideas, and ideas of my friends.

1-Entertainment

Whether you have children or not, you will likely get bored sitting in bed all day every day for however long it lasts. My friend Serra pointed out that it is a great time to work on those things you never seem to have time for. A trick I find is remembering all of those things when the opportunity arises. Here are some ideas on what you can do for entertainment while in bed.

• Books to read
• Crafts (like knitting, crochet, jewelry making, needlepoint...Hey even coloring can work)
• Movies to watch
• My friend Melissa chose to watch all movies nominated for Best Picture in the previous Academy Awards
• My cousin-in-law Shelly suggested choosing a new series to watch on Netflix--what a great idea!
• Entertain yourself with your smart phone or tablet
• Write in your journal
• Scrapbook
• Family history
• Laptop
• Games--My friend Garity said she had her children bring a table over by her and they would play games. 
• Organize files on your computer--pictures, documents, videos, iTunes, etc.
• Blogging
• Work on a degree online (this was really done!)
• My friend Bree said she chose a new skill to learn and work on, so don't think things like, "I can't crochet so that is out!" You can learn how! It is easy to find tutorials to do things on Pinterest and on YouTube.
• Carla (author of Mom's Notes) had great advice (not surprisingly so). She said she scheduled her time and had a plan. So she broke it up into TV time, kid time, hubby time, rest time, phone time with friends and scrapbook time.
• Stay with the family. If you are able to move around at all, stay with your family when you can. With me being an extrovert, being locked in my room alone was pretty much torture. I would crawl down the stairs (literally) so I could join the family in the evenings and be part of what was going on.

2-Entertainment for Children

One of the hardest parts of bed rest when you have children is keeping them entertained and occupied while you are stuck in bed. It will be easier to "couch parent" (parent while sitting on your behind) if you have worked to have your child respect and obey your voice. I wrote more on this here. Here are some ideas to keep them occupied.

• TV/Movies for children. I am not a huge fan of the television, but sometimes we have to do things to survive what we are going through. When you are stuck in bed all day is an excellent time if I ever saw one to allow for some extra television. Just be prepared for the detox session that is sure to come once you are back to yourself. I allowed McKenna more screen time than I normally would while I was laid up with my foot last month. She had a rough few days coming off of that, but we both survived :)
• Books. Read books with your children! Children love to be read to. When else will you have all day long to sit and read books to your kids? McKenna loved sitting in bed next to me and getting all snuggly while we read books.
• Fashion shows. My cousin Stephanie said she had her children do fashion shows for her when she was on bed rest. What a fun idea!
• Play with toys. Your children can bring all sorts of toys to you to play with while you sit in bed or on the couch. How about dolls, cars, or picnic?
• Maintain your schedule. You will be so glad you have things like nap time, rest time, and independent playtime. Don't let things become a free for all. Stick to a schedule. Have older children help get younger children where they need to be. Have help come when naptime starts or ends to get kids in and out of bed. Have Independent Play be a bit longer than normal if your child will do so. Even if you add more TV time than normal, still have it scheduled into the rest of the day. 

3-Your Comfort

Another hard facet of bed rest is getting uncomfortable. Bed sores are a real thing. Here are some ideas to keep you comfortable.

• Nice smells (like wax melTing)
• doTerra oils
• Nice blanket
• Comfortable PJs
• Warm showers
• Massages--my friend Garity said many massage technicians will come to your house
• Pedicure

4-Help from Others

When people offer help, accept it. My friend Garity said, "Rule #1 that took forever for me to learn was to accept help when it was offered!!! Don't be afraid to ask for company just to come over and talk and don't worry about what the house looks like when they do come over to visit." If you know someone on bed rest, here are some ideas of ways you can help:

• Take meals to the family. There are websites you can use to organize meals. You can take a meal and organize a system to help get meals to the family from other friends and family.
• Take the children. Have the children come over for a play date.
• Go over and help. 
• Do some light cleaning.
• Get a group of friends together and pitch in to have a cleaning lady go do a good cleaning. 
• Visit. Call or go in and visit. My friend Lynette said that when she was on bed rest, one visitor a day made the time fly. And she was on bed rest for 6 months, so if she thinks so, I have to believe her!

Words of Encouragement/Advice

People shared lots of words of encouragement. Bed rest, plain and simple, sucks. It is very hard to be a woman who is accustomed to managing her home and watch it all come apart around her. No matter how awesome your husband is, your kids are, and your help is, they are all volunteers who are trying to step in when they can and fill a role you put all of your effort into all day long. No one is super-human enough to cover what they already do plus what you do. So things will slide. 

In other words, let it go. Let the cleaning go, let the "ideal" go...just realize things will not be how you want them for a while and that is okay.

Here are some encouraging words people shared:

"I remember being down because I wanted to take care of my kids and I got to the point I just wanted the baby to get here....I was so tempted to stop the meds and get up then I felt guilty for thinking it. I think everyone should know it's normal to go through this."Stephanie

Geneva said, "For me the hardest part was feeling like I was bothering people who had to help with my other child. Since Tyler is self employed he doesn't really have the option to take off a lot of work, so I had to rely on others for help.I felt very guilty about not being able to take care of my family. I think it's hard for women to be taken care of instead of being the ones taking care of others."

"You give up, no really. You have to let go what your think should be happening around you and just realize for a short time you have a new normal. Play dates for kids, take out meals and asking people to help bring dinners. I was on bedrest with my last pregnancy and had a 3 year old and 1 year old." Tiffany

Do you have advice for surviving bed rest?

If you liked this, you might also like:

Surviving Colds

Surviving Diaper Rash