- Start as you mean to go on. For more on this idea, see Baby Whisperer: Start as You Mean to Go On : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/08/baby-whisperer-start-as-you-mean-to-go.html. In terms of sleep, just think through how you want your child to sleep in the long run. Everything you do teaches your baby. If you teach him that he needs to be rocked for 30 minutes before a nap, that is what he is going to need in order to fall asleep. I remember when Kaitlyn was 5 days old. For the first time, she wasn't just falling asleep. I sat down and started to rock her. Before she was born, I had decided we wouldn't start CIO until she was 3 weeks old. As I rocked her and she didn't fall asleep, I realized that was silly. Why would I teach her to need to be rocked only to take that away a few weeks later? That didn't seem fair to her. So I put her in her bed and braced myself. She actually went to sleep without a peep.
- Independence is not neglect. I know we often feel guilty about teaching our kids independence, especially with our first child. But do know it is not neglect. You are doing what is best for your child.
- Observe without intervention. Understand your baby's sleep cycle and observe and don't interfere with that cycle. Let baby fall asleep on own.
- Don't make your baby dependent on props. This is anything from a pacifier, to nursing to sleep, to being held or rocked. Know that when you use these things, you are teaching your child to be dependent on them. Also, Hogg points out that a prop is different from a transitional object. A transitional object is something your child adopts; your child chooses and controls rather than mom or dad choosing and controlling. But this doesn't usually happen until 7-8 months old according to Hogg. Let baby discover how to calm herself.
- Develop bedtime and naptime rituals. Do it the same way each time. See this post for more: Sleep Routine: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/sleep-routine.html
- Know how your baby goes to sleep. Nothing works for everyone. You must get to know your baby, and that will take some time. This is a good time to use your log: BW Tips and Tricks: Keep a Log: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/tips-and-tricks-keep-log.html and Problem Solving Tip: Detailed Log : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/03/problem-solving-tip-detailed-log.html. I know some moms like to distract themselves during sleep training with earplugs or an iPod or something. Hogg recommends this (though she isn't really a CIO advocate, see below). My husband would try to get me to do the same. The problem I see with such a practice is that it doesn't allow you to get to know your baby. I have to know and monitor my babies cries. By listening each time, I get to know the pattern. I can also judge if something is wrong. So I personally like to listen and listen well (even though it is sad for me).
- Jasmine said...
If you read her third book "The Babywhisperer Solves All Your Problems" you'll find a lot more detail and ways to troubleshoot. In fact she provides techniques to use besides CIO that help you with getting the baby to sleep without props. She does differentiate between what she calls a mantra cry (the noises/cry a baby sometimes makes when settling) which you don't rush into and a serious cry which you attend. The techniques used are the wind down routine, the shush/pat, and the pick up put down when appropriate. Anyway that other book helped me tremendously, and so has your blog. Thanks!
September 15, 2008 1:25 PM
Jasmine, that is good information. Thanks!
September 22, 2008 3:29 PM
- Jessica said...
I echo Jasmine. From what I remember of Hogg's book her method including picking the baby up and when they stopped crying immediately putting them down. Didn't she say she had to do that over 100 times with one baby?I must admit that I am a rocker (a BW no-no) and I do not regret it. That is what is best for our family. To me, that is part of me being a mother, a very enjoyable part. I do understand why others do not rock. Each family, and child, are so very different.
September 15, 2008 4:40 PM
Thanks Jessica! You are right, you have to do what works for each baby.
September 22, 2008 3:30 PM
- Lorri said...
Yeah her method is that they don't CIO ALONE. She says she is an advocate for your baby and that changing a routine for a baby- ie not rocking them any more etc- and then letting them try to figure it out on their own is not the way to do things.I have to admit, I tried her PU/PD method last week. My little one didn't have any problems falling asleep for naps or for night time-but once he woke up-he had a hard time getting himself back to sleep. So I thought that maybe him falling asleep on his own to go to bed might be a fluke.
After doing that routine for a week I haven't seen a single bit of improvement like I did following Babywise. At this point he actually doesn't even fall asleep initially like he use to. I have learned that when I'm in the room with my baby when he is trying to sleep-he wants to be picked up. Hogg says that after they start crying, you pick them up until they stop and then immediately put them down-continuing the shush and patting until they've fallen into a deep sleep. I'm not sure how the babies don't then use that as a sleep prop-she doesn't explain that.
Some kids though-like my scooter are social butterflies and if there is someone in the room with them-but that person isn't playing with them or picking them up-it makes them more mad and they won't ever go to sleep. My husband and I evaluated the past week. We decided that being in the room with little Scoots does more damage than having him fall asleep on his own without us in there.
September 16, 2008 11:36 AM
Lorri, thanks for more clarification--I think her initial idea of CIO and my initial idea of CIO. My son was the same as your son :)
September 22, 2008 3:33 PM
- bradysmom said...
Jessica - I am a rocker too. However, I don't rock to sleep. I work, so I don't see my LO all day. I put him to bed and after he eats I put him on my chest and we sit and rock in teh rocking chair, while patting his back, for maybe a minute. I do this 1 - to see if there are any more burps in there; and 2 - that's my time to cuddle with him. I also feel like it helps him to just wind down and cuddle with mommy. I know BW says it's a no-no, but it's a very special time for me! And most of the time when I put him in his crib he's awake. Just my 2 cents! :-)
September 16, 2008 12:29 PM
Bradysmom, I don't think rocking while awake would be considered a no-no for BW at all.
September 22, 2008 3:35 PM
- Jessica said...
Lorri - I have never understood how that particular method isn't considered a sleep prop either. I read another book (Lull A Baby Sleep Plan, I believe) where the author encouraged you to sit by your baby's bed and sing, read, talk, etc. them to sleep. She said that as long as your baby went to sleep in their own bed that it was not a sleep prop.Bradysmom - I have just recently gone back to work (this week) for 3 days and I know what you mean about wanting to cuddle with your little one. About the rocking, BW thinks it is fine as long as you are not using it to get your baby to sleep. That is where I part with BW. Frequently, I do rock my little girl to sleep and at times she doesn't want it, she will wiggle and want you to just lay her in her crib. I would say it is a sleep prop for her because when I go to sit in the rocker she starts crying but all I have to do is insert the pacifier and those little peepers close. Hopefully, I don't get razzed to bad for that, ha!
September 16, 2008 6:06 PM