From the moment McKenna was born more than three years ago, we wondered if we were done having children or if there were more for us to have. From that moment, I prayed to know. I prayed daily for 2.5 years. I had moments of frustration in not knowing my answer; what I wanted to know was a righteous desire. I thought the Lord must be not telling me for some reason, so I tried to remain patient. I really had no strong hope either way--I just wanted to know. In the Fall of 2010, I heard a talk that spoke of being grateful for the times the Lord makes us wait for our answer. Those are times that He is refining us. So with those words in mind, I continued to pray and remain patient.
Fall of 2011 I started to be anxious for an answer again. After much, much effort, we finally had the answer that we should try to get pregnant and see what happens. I figured this was going to end in no pregnancy since I had PCOS (diagnosed after McKenna was born) and had not ovulated in years. My OB had offered fertility drugs, but we didn't feel good about it. So we tried without much hope.
But we got pregnant on the first try. We knew this child was a gift from the Lord and that He wanted her here now.
And she has been such a great addition to our home. There is nothing like a baby to realign your goals and remind you of the important things in life. My pregnancy with her was my hardest--which is saying a lot. The difficulty brought us closer together as a family and it brought Brinley and I closer together. She instantly calms at my touch or my voice, and has from the moment she was born (the nurse gave her to me wet and gooey and as soon as I got her, she stopped crying. The nurse said, "No she needs to cry!" and rubbed her to get her going).
As parents, we are so much more relaxed. I don't know if it is our age, our experience, or both. We know things don't have to be perfect every moment of every day. Life is a culmination of moments and you can't focus on the little strokes that make the picture. Some strokes are perfection; some are imperfections that make the picture unique and interesting.
I am savoring every moment. I am not anxious for time to fly by--I want her to stay as she is--I want to savor each minute.
As for the nitty details, she is great. She eats well and for the most part, stays awake on her own to eat--even her first feeding of life she ate for 30 minutes while staying awake. She has some time awake afterward and seems to be able to handle stimulation well (which is good because her three siblings surround her and oogle over how cute she was).
Speaking of the three siblings, sidebar, the first time McKenna saw Brinley when she was 1-2 hours old, McKenna said, "Mommy, why was your tummy so big? Brinley isn't that big. She is little." Nice right?
Brinley goes to sleep from awake without crying and I wake her for her meals. She wakes once in the night. My experience definitely helps make this all possible. I have very quickly recognized things like that she likes to be warm, and even though it is a stifling hot summer, she must have socks on her feet.
We are so happy to have her here with us to complete our family. Welcome home, Brinley.