Perfecting Your Babywise Bedtime Routine

Get your Babywise bedtime routine down perfectly. How to find the ideal bedtime for your baby, toddler, preschooler, and child.

Baby sleeping in the crib

Bedtime is a vital piece to having a consistent daily schedule. If you want your child to sleep well at night and eventually sleep through the night, you want to have bedtime consistent and timed correctly.

A big part of bedtime is your bedtime routine. The best routine won’t matter if your bedtime is off.

In this post, we will discuss bedtime routine as well as how to find bedtime for each age group.

Babywise Bedtime Routine

You probably wonder what time is actually bedtime on a Babywise schedule. When do you consider it bedtime and when is it still a nap?

The basics of bedtime for a baby are:

  • It happens after the 7ish PM feeding (the exact time will vary depending on baby’s schedule).
  • It should be at a consistent time day to day.
  • It will happen in an eat/wake/sleep cycle just as the rest of the day has. This means evening feeding, bedtime routine, bedtime.

For bedtime, you want your routine to be very similar to your nap routine. Get help setting up your nap routine here.

A dreamfeed or anything later should be considered a night feeding. Sleep that happens before your evening feeding should be considered nap times. The sleep that happens between the evening feeding and the dream feed is night sleep.

Elements of a Bedtime Routine

It is very common for a bedtime routine to be more involved than a nap routine. Here are some key elements to include:

  • Diaper change
  • Change into pajamas
  • Swaddle if baby is still swaddled
  • Close blinds
  • Turn on white noise

I also highly recommend you include the following:

  • Read a story (or a few)
  • Cuddle
  • Sing a lullaby (your baby does not care about singing talent nor lack thereof)

You might also consider bath time in your bedtime routine. I would venture to say most people like to do a bath as part of the bedtime routine. At our house, we always did bath at the first or second wake time of the day.

Just Be Consistent

The key element to your routine is consistency.

Whatever you decide to include in your routine, just make sure it is sustainable. Make sure you can be consistent with it.

It doesn’t have to be the same forever, but it should be consistent most days for the foreseeable future. At some point, you will change elements to it, and that is perfectly fine.

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Sample Bedtime Routines

Your Babywise schedule order can get changed up at bedtime with a baby. This is due to a lot of factors as discussed in the Bedtime for Babies section below. Here are a few samples of how your sleep routines might go. Any of these are acceptable.

Sample 1
Evening Feeding
Bath
Diaper and Pajamas
Read a story
Close blinds and turn on white noise. Dim lights.
Swaddle
Prayer
Hugs and Kisses
Lullaby
Place in bed

Sample 2
Bath
Diaper and Pajamas
Read a story
Close blinds and turn on white noise. Dim lights.
Swaddle
Prayer
Hugs and Kisses
Lullaby
Evening Feeding
Place in bed

Bedtime for Babies

I get a lot of questions about what time should be considered bedtime for a baby. Generally speaking, your bedtime will be after you 7ish PM feeding.

There are exceptions to the typical for some families. Here are some things to consider when setting your exact bedtime.

Last Daytime Feeding. The time of your last feeding will impact what time is bedtime. For the baby, bedtime will come shortly after that last feeding.

If you feed at 7 PM, then bedtime will happen shortly after that feeding.

Morning Waketime. What is your morning waketime and how long does your baby need to sleep at night?

If your baby wakes at 7 AM and is a 12 hour a night sleeper, you need to have bedtime at 7 PM. If your baby wakes at 7 AM but is a 10 hour sleeper, then bedtime is adjusted accordingly.

Waketime Length. Figure out what amount of waketime length is needed between feeding and bedtime. This will likely depend on the napping situation, or how many naps your child is taking a day.

How many naps does your child have? If your baby is down to two naps and has a liquid feeding at 7 PM, he likely doesn’t need any additional waketime after that feeding.

But if he has an evening nap, he might need a short waketime to be tired enough to go to bed.

Witching Hour. If your baby has witching hour, you might feed right before slipping baby into bed instead of doing an eat/wake/sleep cycle.

If you have a super, super fussy baby in the evening and it seems like someone swapped your baby’s personality at that time of day, be sure to read up on the topic to learn what to do.

Dreamfeed. Bedtime happens before the Dreamfeed. So if you feed at 7 PM, then Dreamfeed at 10 PM, your bedtime would be after your 7 PM feeding.

You would just then wake up your baby, feed him, and put him right back down at the 10 PM feeding.

Cluster Feeding. Many moms find success using cluster feeding as a tool to get baby to sleep through the night. If you cluster feed, choose one to treat as your bedtime feed. If your earlier is your bedtime feed, treat the second one as a dreamfeed. If your second one is the bedtime feed, treat the earlier as a regular daytime feed.

Consistency. In setting your bedtime, make sure it is consistent from day to day almost every day of the week.

Pick a time that you are willing to be home to enforce. Do not say bedtime is 7 PM but then stay out until 9 PM most nights. That sets up unattainable expectations on your baby’s schedule and will leave you frustrated.

With that said, it is vital that you are willing to work with your baby’s needs (assuming you are able to).

Family Dynamics. Consider your family’s situation.

I know moms whose husbands don’t get home until the early evening. Some of those moms have a later bedtime for baby, and consequently a shorter waketime length.

For Brayden’s first year of life, my husband was finishing his last year of college and also working to support our family. He didn’t get home until 8:30 a few nights a week. Brayden’s bedtime was 9:30 so he could have time with his dad.

Once my husband graduated and worked normal business hours, Brayden’s bedtime moved up.

Remember, your schedule serves you. That is the beauty of Baby Wise. Would a 7-8 PM bedtime have been more ideal for baby Brayden? Yes. But even more ideal is a relationship with his father. It is a good/better/best situation and sometimes you set your schedule in a less ideal way to accommodate the family.

Kaitlyn’s bedtime was basically always between 7-7:45 for her baby and toddler life because we don’t have that extenuating need we did with Brayden.

McKenna and Brinley were later risers in the morning so they had later bedtimes, which worked well since we had children with things going on.

Newborn baby sleeping with hat

Bedtime For Toddlers

Here are some things to consider when setting bedtime for your toddler. You can tweak these same principles outlined above for your toddler.

Night Sleep Length. When setting bedtime for your toddler, be sure he is getting 10-12 hours of sleep at night.

If he wakes at 6 AM, bedtime needs to be 6-8 PM.

Early Enough. Make sure you start your bedtime early enough that he can go to sleep at a good time. Never forget Sleep Begets Sleep and keeping your child up later typically backfires.

Again, staying in your 10-12 hour range will help you find that ideal bedtime for your toddler.

Keep Notes. Adequate sleep is vital for a cooperative, happy toddler.

Take note of your child’s actual bedtime and make sure it is aligning with your optimal bedtime. A lot of times what we think is happening is very different from what is actually happening.

You might think, “Bedtime is 7 PM so I don’t know why he is struggling.” Then you take notes and see you are landing closer to 8 PM every night.

If you are having struggles, take careful notes so you know exactly what is happening.

Consistency. Consistency still matters with toddlers. You can have nights that are different, but try to keep it so 5 of 7 days are a consistent bedtime.

You also do want to keep the bedtime consistent within 30 minutes from day to day in general. You will have nights where you need to be flexible, but aim for consistency to be the norm.

Staying Awake. Sometimes two year olds stay awake long past bedtime. If it happens every once in a while, don’t let it stress you out. If it is every day, evaluate the schedule and see if it needs to change.

>>>Read: How To Deal with the 2 Year Old Sleep Regression

Bedtime for Preschoolers

Considerations for preschoolers are very similar to babies and toddlers. Here are some additional thoughts.

It is common for a preschooler to not nap every single day. Some preschoolers are done with naps for good. Here are some tips based on if they have naps or no naps.

Naps. If your preschooler typically still naps but does not take a nap that day, bedtime might need to be moved 30-60 minutes earlier than days she does nap.

No Naps. If your preschooler is no longer naptime, bedtime will likely need to be earlier than it was when she was napping.

If bedtime becomes a constant struggle, evaluate the length of naps and/or if naps still need to happen.

You would think by preschooler age that bedtime would be super simple to navigate. It can have challenges.

Because of that, I have some posts dedicated to preschoolers and bedtime:

Bedtime for Children and Older

By the time your child is in the child age range and older, naps rarely happen if ever.

Bedtime needs to still be early.

Children still need 9-12 hours of sleep throughout their growing up years. The length can vary based on sleep needs, but make sure your child is going to bed at the right time to ensure sleep can happen easily and quickly.

Related Sleep Posts:

Frequently Asked Bedtime Questions

  • Kate said…
    Some days my 4 month old doesn’t nap well and by the end of the day she is just exhausted. Her last feeding is at 7:30, so I try to keep her up until that time, but she will be really fussy and sometimes even fall asleep then I wake her at 7:30 to eat. Do you think on those days I could feed her a little early and put her to bed earlier or what would you do? Thanks

    Babywise Mom said… Kate,I would feed earlier and put her to bed early. If this starts interfering with your morning waketime, then I would shoot for a nap right before bed instead, but if she will go down early, that is a good idea.
  • Jennifer said…
    From day 1, my baby’s most awake time has been after 9 pm. She first slept through the night from midnight to 8 am. I know bed time is supposed to be earlier, but when she wakes up for her last feeding, she is WIDE awake (so I’ve never done a dreamfeed). She’s 15 weeks now and I’ve been waking her up at 7:15 am every day for a few weeks and she’s going to sleep around 10 pm now and I still have to wake her up at 7 am. Do you have any suggestions on how to move up her bed time? If I was able to do so, would I add in a dreamfeed? I’d appreciate any suggestions. I love your blog!

    Babywise Mom said… Jennifer,Your daughter is at the age the dreamfeed is often dropped, so I wouldn’t add it in. If I were you, I would just put her down 10-15 minutes early for a week and see how it goes. I would then move it up another 15 minutes the next week, etc. until you get bedtime where you want it. If you think you can, you can do the move every 4ish days instead. Just feel it out and see how it goes. Good luck!
  • Haley said…
    My son is 6 1/2 months old. He has five liquid feedings a day on a combo 3 to 4 hour schedule. He is on a combo schedule because sometimes he is ready to eat at 3 hours and sometimes he doesn’t want to eat yet. We start our day at about 8:30 am so our last feeding ends up being at about 9:30 which means he gets to bed at about 10:30. Is this too late for him to go to bed? I see all these posts about bedtime being at 7 or 8 pm and I just don’t see that happening for us ever. Our schedule works fine for us especially since my husband doesn’t always get home early and wants to play with him before he goes to bed. But I guess I am wondering if I am doing something that I will regret later. Any suggestions or is what I’m doing fine?

    Babywise Mom said… Your child is getting 11 hours of sleep, which is in the 10-12 hour goal you want for nighttime sleep. Many people with an earlier bedtime also have an earlier wake time. So their kids are going to bed at say 7:30, and waking at 7 AM. As you drop naps, you will most likely need to move bedtime up a bit earlier. Do what works for your family. 🙂
  • May said…
    I am always a little confused about bedtime feeding. Should I count the sleeptime starting at the beginning of the last feeding and ending at when he wakes up next morning?Moreover, I wonder about the last feeding time. My son Alex is into his 14th week. His bedtime is around 10pm, now 9:45pm and he generally wakes up around 5am now. He generally woke up from his last nap around 7:30 pm or 8:00pm. That gave me 1.5 to 2 hours before his bedtime. Should I put him to bed sooner? Should I feed him again before his bedtime? If I do not feed him again before his bedtime, he would have 9-10 hours without food.

    Babywise Mom said… May, I would feed him around 7:30/8:00 when he wakes, then put him in his PJs and do a bath or whatever it is you do at that time of night, then put him to bed. I would then wake him at 10 PM, feed him, change diaper if needed, then put him right back down. If that seems to overly disrupt him, I would just let him sleep through and see what time he wakes in the night. He is old enough that 9-10 hours without food is just fine for him.

    May said…
    Thank you for the suggestion. Now I have a new problem. I have been feeding him around 8:30 or 9pm, and put him to bed around 9:30pm. Alex kept waking up at 2:30am or 3:30am during last two nights. Seeing him frantically putting his fist into his mouth, I fed him both nights. He ate a lot. But my doctor’s nurse said that since he had been sleeping through night, I should not feed him during the night. Should I just let him cry himself back to sleep around that time? Before this episode, he had been sleeping through the night, albeitly getting up early at 5am sometimes. Could it be my milk supply not enough? Or could it be that I brought him to my mother-in-law’s place for a day, he had too much stimulation?

    Babywise Mom said… May, It could be overstimulation. It could also be a growth spurt. I personally don’t like the notion that if they slept through before, they will never be hungry again in the night. Some try to feed their growth spurt in the night. If you think he is hungry, I would try to add feedings in the day, or feed him at night. I wouldn’t ever let a baby go hungry.
  • Kate and Robbie said…
    I need help. I just found this blog…sent straight from heaven i swear!! I know this post is old…is anyone reading this at all?? Ive just started baby wise…my Dr. strongly disagrees with it for some reason? But we are doing it anyways…My 2 and half month old doesn’t nap very long though out the day with the “3 hour routine”. We notice at night, his first stretch is always the longest…about 4-5 hours. So we have his bed time till about 9:30 (having feeding at 8, bath time, then bed). Is this too late? I read about these Moms who have their kids down at 7 pm, and I wonder how their baby actually makes it through the whole night? Will mine ever? he seems to wake up all the time at night even…with his wakeup times a bit speratic, sometimes 5 or sometimes 6, or sometimes 7? Am I doing something wrong. Help!!!

    Babywise Mom said… Kate,Babies that go to bed at 7ish are older than yours OR they go to bed at 7ish but then eat again around 10ish. It takes time, but through consistency and effort, you can do it! Look through this blog at all the posts. Be sure to look at this post: Starting Babywise Late.
  • BethL513 said…
    I need help with bedtime please! Our 6 week old has been doing great on Babywise since day 1, but after our 4:30pm feeding, things seem to fall apart and change day to day. I nurse and have to supplement after each feeding due to weight gain issues. At 4:30, I nurse on each side and then she takes a 3oz bottle of formula. The last week or so she seems to get hungry again by 6:30 but if I give her 4oz at 4:30, she spits up. She also won’t take a nap after the 4:30 feeding. If she does, she won’t go down again until much later also throwing things off. So, so far it’s working for us to wake up at 4:30, eat twice and then go down at 8ish.At the 6:30 feeding (ideally 7) she takes a 4-5oz. bottle of formula. We then start our nighttime routine of quiet wake time, pajamas or bath, some rocking then to bed by 8.I then wake her up at 10pm and feed her. However, she is VERY sleepy and I can get a full nursing in but she refuses the bottle. When that happens, she’s up at 2 starving and will nurse and take a bottle and then sleep until I wake her at 7:30. if I’m lucky enough to get her to take a bottle at 10pm, she’ll sleep until 4ish, only nurse and then get up at 7:30. My question is, I hate tanking her up in the middle of the night and having 3-7:30 being her long stretch as that’s the feeding we’ll hopefully be elinating soon, so I want her nice and full at 10pm but if I struggle too much to make her take the bottle, it just wakes her up and she’s hard to get back down. Should I continue what I’m doing and let her get full at 2 and reevaluate at 8 weeks or rearrange our afternoons/evenings and try to get her to take a feeding right at bedtime (8ish) and see what happens? I worry that she’ll wake up at 12 and 5 which I’m hesitant about since the 7:30 is working out so well.I wish she would nap from 5:30-7 but she just won’t. She’ll either scream awhile and fall asleep at like 6:15 or she’ll go right down and then not want to sleep until 9:30 or so.Any advice welcome! She’ll be 7 weeks on Monday.

    Babywise Mom said… Beth,I would put her to bed earlier. Like 7:30. Then maybe she will have had enough sleep to wake more at 10. She also might just not be one to wake at that time. Kaitlyn wasn’t at that age. She refused to wake. I fed her around 8ish I think then put her to bed and she woke twice in the night. It isn’t ideal, but she slept better that way. I just had to go to bed soon after she did so I could get some sleep 🙂
  • The Burkes said…
    This blog site is an absolute treasure! Thank you so much for being willing to serve others with your experiences and advice!! I’ve passed it on to several Moms. Our LO is 2 months and is sleeping 10 hours through the night. We started BW from day one. Her dreamfeed is at 10pm and most mornings I have to wake her at 8am. Before the dreamfeed I feed her at 8pm. My question is after we drop the 10pm feeding is 8pm still an acceptable bedtime? During this 8pm time she’d eat, stay awake and then be put down? Is that how bedtime works…or should it be feed at 8pm and put her straight down (like dreamfeed)? I hope I’m clear.

    Babywise Mom said… You could do it either way based on what your baby needs. What we did was feed, change into PJs, story, prayer, bed. So, there was waketime but not usually as long as other waketimes.
  • Kelly said…
    My daughter is 7 1/2 weeks. We’ve been doing BW since birth. She does great except for evenings. Her schedule is 6:30a, 9:30, 12:30 , 3:30, 6, 8:30, 11. She only has 45 min of waketime during the day feedings. After 6 she very rarely naps until 11. I’ve tried feeding every 2 hours, moving the 11:00 up, using a swing, using a pacifier…Occasionally she’ll sleep for an hour somewhere in there but that’s rare. This has made establishing bedtime difficult since she doesn’t really go to sleep until 11. Did either of your children have an evening fussy time? How would you suggest handling it?

    Babywise Mom said…
    Kelly, Kaitlyn definitely did not have a fussy time. Brayden did until we started BW. I would persevere and keep trying. Try not to stress about it but keep working on it. Hopefully, by now your baby has improved. The first three months are the hardest, so as your baby approaches the 3 month mark, hopefully things are improving.

This post originally appeared on this blog May 2008

Babywise bedtime routine

71 thoughts on “Perfecting Your Babywise Bedtime Routine”

  1. Your blog has been such a blessing to my family and I. I had a question about my 5-month-old. We are trying to move him to a combination 3-4 hour schedule and trying to drop his fourth nap. He is exceptionally fussy, and it is difficult to keep him awake until his bedtime feeding. He has been able to sleep from 8 p.m. – 7 a.m. for a few nights now, so the last feeding has been around 7:30-7:45 p.m. Do you have any suggestions about that wake time between his next-to-the-last feeding and his bedtime feeding? Thanks for all of your time you’ve put into the blog!!

    Reply
  2. You might need to move the feeding and also bedtime up for at least a time while his body adjusts to staying awake. Also, it is usually easier to keep them happy longer if you can get out of the house and in a new environment–even just running errands–so you might try that.

    Reply
  3. Thanks so much for your blog… Our boy, Anson, is a few days older than your McKenna… so it's fun to read how she's doing. Anson has reflux pretty bad(though meds are helping now), and has not been a good napper… He goes down fine with no sleep props and entirely awake (fusses for 2-5 minutes before going to sleep on his own), but wakes after 45 minutes. Finally, he is getting the hang of going back to sleep (sometimes). He has been STTN for a few weeks now (from dreamfeed at 9:45 to wake at 7, though he sometimes wakes a bit early).My question is, when do the fussy evenings subside? Why is bedtime different than naptime? As I said, he goes down great for naps, but is inconsolable for bedtime, though I do the same routine. We have let him CIO, which goes on for an hour. Picking him up only calms him a little. A pacifier sometimes helps as a last resort, but sometimes (like right now), he spits it out and screams some more. His last evening meal is between 6 and 7 (depending on his naps during the day), leaving bedtime between 7 and 8 (I try to look for sleepy signs, rather than just having a set time since his meal and naps are variable and he cries so much for bed anyway).Thanks for any advice… sorry about the length!

    Reply
  4. I'm having a similar issue with my 15 weeker who is also only a couple of days older then Mckenna. he is mostly doing well for naps waking sometimes at 45 min but sleeps for much longer if I put him in his swing. He is really struggling at bedtime. It seems like he starts to fuss right when I walk into his room … he did that 3 times today and is then totally upset to do any kind of wind down and gets angry if i try to put him into a cradle position or rock him. He starts flaleing and screaming (wondering if it's reflux?) For several nights he will go down around 8 (his morning starts at 6:40), but it will take him up to a couple hours to get to sleep. this is new behavior. he was a great self soother until I started putting him on a schedule instead of a routine. Any thoughts are apprecited. also, he is not sttn yet and has only done so a couple of times. I had a set back at about 11 weeks with some breastfeeding issues and he's just now getting to where I feel he can drop it. still taking all naps. Thanks so much for your wonderful blog!!!

    Reply
  5. Ashlee—A couple things that we've done that have helped:I gave a bottle of expressed breastmilk AFTER the last feed before bedtime… he was upset, in part, because he was hungry. Over the next few days, I fed more often to get my supply up (and even had my first beer…a Japanese friend of ours suggested it…yuck!).I put him to bed a bit earlier… I think I was missing his sleepy signs, so he got over tired. This was confirmed in my mind last night, when, returning home later than bedtime from a church picnic, it took him almost 2 hours to get to sleep. It seems that if I miss the "window," he becomes hyper-alert.Things aren't perfect, but those two things seemed to help. I also have a friend who pumps every morning and gives that milk after the last feed in the evening.

    Reply
  6. mirandaThanks so much for answering my comment. I am still doing a "dream feed" at about 11 (also from expressed morning milk :)thanks for mentioning the sleep cues I think I am getting him down too late. I think I miss the cues and I get tempted to push him to be awake longer because I want to play with him … he's just so cute and fun ya know. I also have 20 month old toddler twins as well so that time a night is supper busy getting them to bed so I am really struggling to get everyone in bed by 7:30 (hubby works swing so he's not home). I'm going to try to get him down during the girls dinner tonight tonight (6:30) and see how that goes. As for the arching and flailing … I think all of a sudden he just wants to soothe himself at bedtime. he did it again this morning then layed in his crib happy for 20 min then went to sleep. seems strange but it's fine with me. If you have any other ideas love to hear them. It seems I have a different issue every day, but I think that's normal. take care =)

    Reply
  7. Ashlee—I'm with you on him wanting to self-soothe… anymore, my little boy cries until I put him down! He's starting to go from happy to cranky without so much as a yawn in between. Once he starts to fuss, I have to run to change his diaper quick so he can go to bed.In terms of the STTN, maybe the earlier to bed will help that, too. Also, with 45 minute naps, after I was sure his reflux medicine was helping, I started letting him fuss through instead of trying to help him go back to sleep (ie swing). It's taken a while, but he's getting the hang of it, as I mentioned.If YOU have any suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them!

    Reply
  8. He's actually in his swing right now … I'm mostly using when he gets overtired. I was just reading that many only have a 45 min wake period at this age, I've been doing an hour, but i'm doing the same thing of rushing in and trying to get him down quickly like you described. he doesn't seem to do any sleep cues before getting overtired. he's fine one minute and then red glazed eyes and fussy the next. So I'm going to stop resisting keeping him up … I know better … I always put my girls down happy and that was much better for all of us 🙂 I need to get back to basics. I stared from birth with them and starting late with the schedule with him … much easier starting from birth because you get to know their sleep patterns more quickly and can more easily help shape their habits. I'm just focusing on being patient with him because it's not his fault i didn't get him on track right away. 🙂 I recently joined the Babywise Yahoo chat group if you want to join we could continue chatting outside the blog. =) my user name is ashleephotos

    Reply
  9. Miranda,Hopefully you are out of fussy evenings. For most babies, it goes away by four months old (but four months from the due date). They don't know why it happens. They think it is something with the brain, but there is no sure answer.With Kaitlyn, I gave her half of her meds in the morning and half in the evening. I asked the pharmacist about this and he said if I could remember to do that, it would be more effective. I for sure could remember! Pain in my child…no problem remembering 🙂 You might try that if you can.

    Reply
  10. Ashlee,What about the schedule is making it so he can't sleep well? Think about what is different from when it was a routine. Is it that he has longer waketimes?

    Reply
  11. Ok…. I need help asap! I have a almost 4 month old. (Feb 5.) We are on a 3 hour schedule. Wake time is 8 a.m. and then we go throughout the day with that. I feed her again at 8:00 p.m. then bath (every other day) then awake time until 9:20-9:30ish. Then sleep until 10:45 or 11:00. She usually wakes up. So I do the dream feed. Then she is down by 11:30 after feeding and change diaper and rock for about 1 minute. She sleeps until 6:30ish-6:45ish. She is waking up at this time consistently every single morning for the last 2 weeks. I will let her fuss for 20 minutes then I go and put her plug in (yes I know….) But then she will sleep until 8 a.m. I am trying to let her CIO, but it doesn't seem to be working. So she gets 7 hours. She should be sleeping so much more than that at this age. There were a few nights this past week where she woke up screaming bloody murder so fed her at around 3:30 and she was starving. But the growth spurt will end soon if it hasn't already!How do I get her to sleep the 8 to 10 hours and I guess pretty soon 10 to 12 hours. I am afraid to drop that dreamfeed. When do I drop it? I need help soon please so I don't get her in a bad habit and can't get her to sleep more than 7 hours. Help!

    Reply
  12. Susan,I would have her in bed earlier in the night. Since she wakes at 8, have her in bed as close to 8 PM as possible. She is probably waking because she is overly tired.Another thing to note is 4 months is just a wacky time for all babies (not just babywise babies). See "wonder weeks" blog label for more on that.

    Reply
  13. My child is 7 months. She has been waking up around 7 am for the past two weeks maybe. She goes to bed around 8 or 9. The problem is she will sleep till 11, 12 sometimes 1 but then she wakes up screaming. I have stopped feeding her in the middle of the night because she wakes up the same regarless. I will go and put her paci in but she continues to wake up every other hour screaming. I am at my breaking piont. I cannot continue to go without sleep anymore. Nothing I try works. The only reason I let her go back to sleep till 9 in the morning is because I cannot physically get up and start my day running on no sleep. Should I just suck it up and get up at 7? Should I start feeding her in the middle of the night again?

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  14. Jena, I read your comment and had the same problem when my son was 7 months. Now he is 18 months and has been sleeping through the night (and sleeping 9.5 hours straight!) since he was around 14 months. You may want to consider these things:1. growth spurt. She may be hungrier than normal and want to eat in the night for a while. People told me that my son was old enough to not need to eat in the night, but he would eat a lot when I would nurse him and my instinct told me that he was indeed hungry. Also, I don't know if you are b'feeding, but our bodies go through changes due to hormones and some other things and your milk might be lower right now– and at the same time your daughter is having a growth spurt– that makes for a hungry baby.2.I noticed my son started to have nightmares around 8 months. I could tell because the way he'd wake up and the way he'd cry (and scream) was different. They need to be comforted when they have nightmares. (I know that this is probably not why your daughter is waking up every single night multiple times, but this is just something to keep in mind that does happen sometimes :))3. I realized late in the game that my son has a sensitivity to milk and milk products. So he was waking up all night with gas pains 🙁 After cutting way back on his dairy (and even cutting back on mine), I noticed he started sleeping way better. Yes, it's hard to cut that stuff back but it may really be worth it to your daughter 🙂 Oh, and it takes at least 10 days for that to get out of your system, so be patient..4. Even though you are tired, you really might want to try getting up at 7. That is a very common wake time (actually that is late from what I've heard, so you are lucky! hahah). By sleeping in and letting her sleep in, you might be making bedtime and night sleeping a problem for her. It also could be messing with her naps. She obviously is getting a good chunk of her sleep in the morning (until 9am!) and that is potentially making her sleep less at night.I felt hopeless too and felt like it would never end. BUt I am glad I went with my instincts and waited it out with my son. They eventually sleep much better! 🙂

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  15. Jena,Have you ever tried an earlier bedtime? I know Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child points out that a bedtime too late will cause night wakings. If she is waking at 7 AM to start the day, then perhaps 8 or 9 is too later for her.Have you checked out the nighttime sleep issues post? There are lots of things to consider there, including if she is too hot or too cold, pains, etc. I am kind of confused about the "back to sleep til 9"–so she is getting up at 7…and then what? Do you feed her? Do you help her go back to sleep?

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  16. Thank you so much for your blog…We've been working babywise since we brought our son home…he was never a textbook bw baby but it has served us VERY well. He is now 10 months old and has been waking up in the middle of the night for the past 2 weeks – I've been nursing him and for the most part, he has a full feeding and goes right back to sleep. His last feeding is @ 9pm and bedtime is usually by 10pm. This varies some depending on the success of his previous nap. I've read in previous posts that it could be a growth spurt but his appetite hasn't changed at all during the day. I also read that you suggest adding a feeding, but I'm not sure how to implement that – so I'd welcome your suggestions. It seems like more of a habit at this point then starvation.Ideally, I'd like to get to him going to bed for the night earlier – like 7pm or 8pm but this just doesn't seems possible with his current routine – dreamsleeping never worked for him when he was young – he'd wake up too much and I'd put him back down after a feeding and he'd scream for 30+ minutes…he needed the waketime to follow. Not sure if I've waited too long to try to implement the early bedtime or is this something that eventually will just happen? Should we just let him cry it out at night? We've let him for for 30+ minutes and he is still wide awake whining. Before this started he was sleeping like a dream 10pm – 8am. We were still wanting him to go to bed earlier but we were getting such good sleep we didn't care :). Any comments and advise would be SO appreciated. Thank you so much for you time.Cheers,Regina

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  17. Regina, it could be a wonder week thing (see the blog label "wonder week") but I also think he could be waking up because of being overly tired. 10 PM is pretty late for a bedtime. I would try moving it back over time. You can see the blog label "time change" for ideas on how to do that. I would also look into environmental issues. Is your AC on and making him cold? Is it not on and he is hot? Is there some sort of noise? Look into all of those issues.

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  18. Thank you for your reply. I've looked at the time change post and my only question is as I am putting him to bed earlier do I just let him CIO? For example, if his normal bedtime has been 10pm – 10:30pm and I move it to 9:45 -do I just let him cry till 10:30pm until he crashes? He has always been a 'range' boy – waking up btwn 6am & 7am, going to bed btwn 10pm – 10:30pm…perhaps I needed to be more strict on those things early on? Just wondering how to make the best of it now…is crying it out the best solution? Will take us a while to get to an ideal bedtime but I'm willing to do it.oh! and good news – he's sleeping through the night again – wahoo! I'm a new woman :)thanks again for your expertise and advice.Cheers,Regina

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  19. Regina, I wouldn't move bedtime that fast. I wouldn't take it by 45 minutes, but rather 10-15 minutes at a time. Really, 10-15 minutes shouldn't be enough for him to cry.

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  20. I am so glad I found this website. I hope you are still helping other babywise Moms out there. I did babywise with my first child and she was by the book. Slept 10 hours at 7 weeks and stayed consistant until 4 months when I moved her bedtime to 7pm, then she could sleep 12 hours. Now I am doing babywise with my 2nd child and it has been a little challenging. At 10 weeks he started sleeping 9-10 hours, then we had a full weekend of family which set him back then he got back on track after they left…but he isn't consistant. Sometimes he does 9-10 hours and sometimes 7 or 8. We had company the last few days and he didn't nap well and he woke twice in the night. I am thinking it was due to the company. He is now 12 weeks and I am trying to get him to stay consistant. His wakes from his last nap around 4 or 5pm. I feed him and he is awake. I have tried putting him down at 7pm but he feeds and sleeps on me for 30 minutes (I have to hold him upright because of his reflux) and then he wakes like he just wanted a cat nap…so I let him stay up and then he is cranky 30 minutes later and ready to go to bed. Is he not ready for a 7pm bedtime? Do I keep trying to enforce it and sooth him? Or do I treat it as a nap? Also, if he does go down at 7pm that would create a waking…When he goes down and feeds at 8 or 9pm, he wakes at 6 or 7am if he makes his 9 or 10 hour stretch…He has never had a 10pm feeding…So I don't think I would start one now…What do you suggest I do? Thanks!

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  21. One thing to be aware of is that babies with reflux usually take longer to reach those milestones, and they usually take longer to sleep through the night. Just be assured that considering his reflux, he is doing very well at night for his age. I would continue trying for a 7-7:30 bedtime. I would see if he can sleep somewhere else elevated (like elevating his crib mattress or even in a swing) so he can sleep until the 8 or 9 feeding uninterrupted and you can make the 8 or 9 feeding a dreamfeed. Hang in there! Reflux babies can be harder babies. But he will get there.

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  22. I want my 6 week old daughter to have a late bedtime (8:30 – 9:30), but she seems to get really fussy every night at 6:45pm and won't nap, just cries and cries, until after her next feeding. A couple of nights we put her down for the night before or at 6:45, and on those nights she slept 8 hours. When she cries and goes down after her next feeding, she will only nap 4.5 hours. Any ideas on what's going on or how I can get her to have a late bedtime and not be so fussy during that last stretch between 6:45 and whenever her next feeding will be? The reason I want the late bedtime is because I'm starting work in 3.5 weeks and would like the extra time with her in the evenings.

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  23. Michelle, unfortunately, that is very normal. Most babies need to go to sleep between 7-8 PM with some even as early as 6:30. This is due to natural rhythms. As the years go on, you will be able to have a little bit later of a bedtime. But 9:30 would be late even for a 5 year old, especially if they go to school.

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  24. My daughter is 13mos old and used to sleep through the night until she started teething. She gets up between 8-9am every morning, and goes to bed at 8pm every night. She takes one nap for 2 hours each day and now wakes up between 1 and 3am almost every night, she plays, cries and claps. I have tried to go in and settle her down and don't really know what to do now. Any suggestions? thanks, Vicki T

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  25. Vicki, I would try just ignoring her and see if that stops the behavior. If she is just in there playing and clapping, I wouldn't acknowledge it. Some kids will do okay with a parent coming in and telling them to go to bed, but others will then get up each night to get that visit, and others will have a harder time with the visit than they would have had with no interaction.

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  26. My baby is 6 weeks old. We have been doing BW since birth and she is sleeping 7-8 hours at night and napping well during the day. We've been doing CIO since 2 weeks and will go down for naps with just 5-10 mins of crying and will get herself back to sleep if she wakes up. But bedtime is a different story. Her last feed is at 7pm and then bedtime 8-8:30pm (based on sleep cues) but she just won't go to sleep in her crib (she naps in her crib just fine). She will sometimes cry until almost her dreemfeed (DF) at 10pm. Then she is overtired and won't go back to sleep after DF which creates a bad cycle. She falls asleep really easily on her tummy, but I'm afraid to put her on her tummy for the night due to SIDS (just naps). So sometimes I'll put her on her tummy on the couch in the living room at bedtime and she'll sleep well and then go down a little easier after DF. I'm afraid I'm creating a prop and I want her to sleep in her crib. Also, even if she does sleep well from 8-10pm, she always wakes up after DF and needs, on average, an hour to go back to sleep. I try to keep lights off, diaper change quickly, not talk to her, and keep her swaddled. Is this just the age of cranky evenings? Should I keep trying to make her sleep in the crib and CIO at bedtime or can I let her tummy sleep on the couch until cranky time passes? (Is that 3 months?) Thanks so much for this wonderfully helpful blog!

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  27. I was hoping I could get some better ideas on how to do/handle bedtime. I've changed my strategy for a week now and I'm not sure if I have a right/good plan cause it's not working but I'm not sure how to change it. Here's what I've been doing: 5:00-wake/feed 5:50-catnap (He has to take this in the swing with a paci, he will wake around 25 min or so but fall back asleep and then I typically have to wake him, but not always) 6:50ish wake, chill time…(I usually wake him) 7:20/30-start bedtime routine….pjs, short massage, dim room, feed and burp 7:50ish down in bed Well, my 10.5 week DS has not been going to sleep at this point. He drifts off while I'm feeding him but he's a quick eater so he doesn't fully go to sleep, which is fine, thats not my goal. But then I lay him down to go to bed and he has been crying HARD…screaming…. for a long time…45ish min before we give him a paci and help him fall asleep. As soon as we give him the paci he's asleep in like 2 minutes. I'm not sure what to do. Should I just let him cry until he falls asleep since its bedtime and its different than naps? What would be the quickest/most effective strategy? Am I not getting the right time, or is he up too long/too short? His waketimes during the day are about 50 min and he's not going down great for naps. Sometimes he falls asleep after about 10 min for naps, sometimes he cries/fusses and sometimes he screams and I have to help him either with a head rub or paci. His start of day is 8:00 am, although it is tough to get him to stay asleep until that point because of early morning gas, and he's on about a 3 hr schedule. I'm just not sure how to handle bedtime cause its different than naps and for naps I don't let him full blown CIO because I want to make sure he still gets sleep and doesn't get OT so I only let him go about 15-20 min at naps before I either give a paci or put him in the swing. Does you have any thoughts? Thanks!

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  28. Hi! I love this blog and it has been a huge help along my way. My son is 14 weeks old and was doing really well with naps and bedtime but I have a couple questions.First off, we put him down for bed between 7pm-8pm every nite and he sleeps until about 2:30/3:00am and takes a full 5 oz (couldn't breastfeed him) then goes back to sleep till about 7am or 8am.1.) My first question is if him waking up at 3am is ok still? He always eats at that time..I just want to be sure I'm on the right track. 2.) Lately he has been waking up about an hour after being put down or about midnight or 1am….what is that about? At first we tried feeding him and he really didn't have any interest in it. So now my husband gets up at either time and will rock him back to sleep…are we on the right track with that or shoudl we let him cry it out each time?3.) and my final question…how should you put the baby down for naps and bedtime. We usually rock him and he isn't 100% asleep, usually drowsy and then we place him down. It seems to be working for us, but I am worried that forever I'm going to be rocking him to sleep..Am I being over paranoid? Should I worry about it at a later time? I tried placing him in his crib when he got tired but all he did was cry himself into a fit where he was coughing a lot!I'm at a loss right now and feel like I'm creating bad habits by rocking him to sleep..I'm at my whits end…emotinally and mentally and could use some advice.Thanks!

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  29. Val, I'm not sure its witching hour, I've read about that but he's the happiest baby most of the time and its very inconsistent. Some nights he's good and bedtime works and others it doesn't, I can't find a pattern. We’re on a 3 hour schedule and he usually eats around 5 and I put him in the swing with a paci for the 4th nap cause he struggles more going down for this nap so I just help him out to make sure he gets to sleep in time. But the time he wakes from it is inconsistent and I’m struggling with figuring out the time between when he wakes from the 4th nap and goes down for bed. It’s just so confusing to me because it doesn’t work the same as naps. If I get waketime right then ds will almost always goes down for naps without help and fall asleep within 10 minutes or so. But bedtime is SOOO inconsistent and I can’t find a pattern of what works and what doesn’t. He wakes anywhere from 6:30-7ish usually and his morning waketime is 8 so my goal is to put him down to bed at 8. But frequently he wakes up fussy from the 4th nap (which is odd for him because he’s the happiest baby ever usually). I’ve noticed if he’s fussy then bedtime fails. If I actually wait til 8 for bed then he is up for more than 55 min. sometimes (which is his waketime during the day for naps). I feed him right before bed but he eats so fast that it doesn’t put him to sleep. Half the time he cries and won’t go to sleep on his own (like I said, we’ve let him cry for 45 min and he just escalates, won’t fall asleep) and half the time he’s out in 5-10 minutes. If I give him a paci he will usually calm and go to sleep but I don’t want him to be dependent on going to bed with a paci. He doesn’t use it for naps unless I miss his window. I'm just not sure how to handle bedtime, when to put him down, how long after waking from his 4th nap, or always at 8, regardless of when he woke from 4th nap? Why do naps work and bedtime doesn't?? Thanks!

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  30. callie_brooke,Most babies are fussy in the evening. If you use the paci at bedtime and it doesn't lead to him wanting it for his other naps, then you know it isn't an issue and you also know fussiness is related to witching hour. Many babies also eat more often in the evening. Some as often as every two hours. So he might be eating at 5, then need to eat again at 7, so watch for those needs.

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  31. Chantal,1) Yes, that is pretty common. I wouldn't be concerned at this point.2) That might be due to the developmental wonder week. If he isn't hungry and you don't want to CIO (which I don't like doing in night myself), then I think rocking him is fine. Be sure it isn't due to gas or something similar.3) Personally, at that age I wouldn't be rocking to sleepy. But if you want to do that now and fix it later, you can do that, too.What I did was with my youngest, did the 4 S's by Hogg (see label 4 S's). Then put her down. But I would wager your son has a dependence to the rocking, which means it needs to be weaned, so he likely will fight the lack of rocking. Which means at some point, you will need to do either a shhh/pat type thing as described by baby whisperer or CIO. I have a fully comprehensive CIO bootcamp that can help you if you decide to go that route.

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  32. Thank you so much for your blog! It has been so helpful for me trying to figure out babywise. I do have a question that I hope you can give some advice on. I have an 11 week old little girl. She has been sleeping through the night for about a month now. I usually feed her about 9:30pm and put her to bed and she sleeps until anywhere between 5 and 6am. I feed her when she wakes and then put her right back to bed until 9am when I get her up to start our feed, waketime, nap schedule throughout the day. She has always had her fussy time in the evening, but as she has gotten older the time that her fussiness begins has started later in the day. I think it is about time that we drop the late night feeding and put her to bed earlier, but I am not sure what to do on the nights that my husband and I have committments and are not home until about 9pm. I want her to have a consistent bedtime, but is it okay for her bedtime to be not until 9:30 or 10pm? Do you think she will naturally start sleeping until later in the morning since her bedtime will be later than normal? Any advice would be so helpful!

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  33. So just so I understand…after the 7 PM-ish feeding, you would still have waketime? So that they don't learn to need to be nursed to sleep?

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  34. Kristy,To be perfectly honest, most babies will not do well with that late of a bedtime. If you have to do it, go ahead and try it, but be mentally prepared for it to not work out. Most babies do best going to bed between 7-8 PM. What you do about nights you are out late will depend on how solid commitments are, how often they are, where they are, and the resources available to you.If it is once a week, your baby should be fine going to bed late once a week. If it is several times a week, it will be a problem for the baby.If it is something one or both of you could stay home from, I would do that. The season is short.If you can't stay home, I would look into having someone come watch your baby in your home for you. There was a period of a few years that my husband and I both had to be gone once a week. We had my parents come watch the kids while we were gone. If you are going somewhere that you could do this, you could take a pack-n-play or something and put your baby to sleep in it and then do your best to transfer her without waking her (that might not happen) to take her home and put her in her bed.

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  35. Caitlin, there is a certain amount of waketime. They are awake for feeding and for diaper change and for changing into PJs. Some babies will need to go to bed at that point while others need to be up a little longer than that.

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  36. Hello! I have a 16 week old son who is on a 3/4 hour combo schedule, but sometimes eats every 2.5 hours after he wakes in the morning. He is big for his age, so he eats quite a bit. The issue I'm having is that he has been waking up at 3am/4am for the past 3 weeks. I thought it was a growth spurt, but I always feed him when he seems hungry, so I don't think it's that anymore. He goes to be at 7/7:30, wakes up around 3:30am, give or take an hour, takes a full feeding, then goes back to sleep until 6:30. With this middle of the night feeding, he is nursing 6 times a day. Any suggestions on how to drop this 3am feeding?

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  37. Patti_C,I would give him less food slowly each night. So either cut back ounces or feeding time. Do this until you get to zero and see how he does then.

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  38. I'm having issues with my 4 month old. During the day she is great, on a 3-3.5 hour schedule. She takes 3 naps, her last one usually ending around 5. The first two naps are usually about 2 hours or so. The third nap is usually about an hour and a half. The problem I have run into is bedtime. She goes down to bed fine but wakes after 45 minutes and can't go back to sleep. For the first few months I thought she was just having witching hour and that it would go away but it has only gotten worse. I put her to bed at about 7:30 and she makes it 45 minutes and then wakes up and is usually up off an on until I put give her a dreamfeed at about 10. After that she sleeps till 8 am with no problems at all. Probably 2 nights a week she goes to bed fine and sleeps till her dreamfeed so I know she can do it. Do you have any ideas of what to do to fix this? Does she need a fourth nap again? I dropped it because she didn't seem tired at bedtime and wouldn't fall asleep at all. Any advice would be great!

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  39. I have a similar problem like brynn eyre said above. I have a 5 month old and she is on a 3-3.5 hour schedule during the day. She takes 3 naps, sometimes 4 if she wakes early from her last nap and can't make it until bed time. She goes to bed at 7pm. Like the post before said, my little one wakes up after 45 minutes and cries. Sometimes she is able to go back to sleep after crying for 30 minutes. This happens almost every night. I dreamfeed her at 10pm and then she still wakes up 2 times a night! She can't seem to go longer than 4 hours. She eats a full feeding in the night, so I am not sure if she is really hungry or if she is just used to eating. I have tried so many things and read all over your blog trying to find a solution. Do you have any other suggestions for me? My first daughter was already sleeping from 7pm-7am at this point, so it has been hard getting used to not having a "perfect" babywise baby second time around:)!

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  40. hi! I just previously posted, but wanted you to know that I think we got it figured out! Maybe she just needed to grow out of it, but she is sleeping great now! I added solids and went down to three naps and she is doing so much better! Only getting up once in the night and sleeping fine through the early evening hours. Still dream feed at 10pm though until she sleeps through the night. Thanks for this blog! It is great!

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  41. I have a six month old little boy and we have been doing baby wise since he was 6 weeks and had great success. We are currently doing a 3 hr schedule starting at 7 am. I think he is ready to move to a 3.5-4 hr schedule but we are still doing a dream feed and I'm not sure he really needs that anymore either. I feed him at 10 and he generally goes down by 10:30 and sleeps until I wake him up at 7. My issue with having an earlier bedtime is that after his 7 pm feeding he won't take his last nap and if he does it is only for 30 minutes or so. I'm not sure what to do and if I should move to a 4 hour schedule first or try to drop the dream feed first. And in the last two weeks after his dream feed he is having a really hard time going back to sleep crying for a half hour or more. Thank you so much for the help your blog has provided!

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  42. Stainbrook, considering the crying after the dreamfeed, I would drop that first. He is likely getting disrupted and unhappy about it.With Kaitlyn, we dropped the dreamfeed and then were at a 4 hour schedule a week later, so it might not be long before you are comfortable taking the next step

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  43. LOVE your blog! It's my go-to when I have questions or concerns:) I'm a little confused though. We recently started a 3.5 hr. schedule with our almost 12 week old. He's also going through a growth spurt so things are a little weird right now. Anyhow, our schedule starts at 8a so that makes the last feeding before the dreamfeed 6:30. Is this too early?

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  44. My daughter is 6 weeks old. She eats at 2, 5, 8, 11 in the am and pm, and follows the eat, wake time and sleep regime very well. Recently, following her 5p feeding she goes through a fussy hour. As a result, she is "out cold" following her 8p feeding. This makes it very difficult for me to feed her at the 11p. She will not wake up for anything. I am able to get her to nurse for a half meal, but not a full…which leaves her starving and wide awake for the 2a feeding. This is the middle of the night feeding we look to drop. She has dropped it one night, but continues to wake for food. As a solution, instead of feeding her at 8p, we changed it to 7:30p, staying at a minimum of 2.5 hour intervals. However, she still won't wake for the 11p feeding. At this point she probably could drop the 11p, but I want her to drop the 2a. I've thought about feeding her at 7p, but that puts her at only 2 hours after the 5p and I don't know that 30 mins would help any. I'm curious about any suggestions you might have, allowing us to continue her schedule and getting her to eat a full meal at 11p. I believe, since she's dropped the 2a once already, that she will continue to drop it if I can get a full meal in her at 11p. Thank you for everything! Your blog as proven very helpful for me!

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  45. Sonia, That is likely too early–that would put 13.5 hours between feedings and you don't really want that this early. I would cut down to a feeding at 3, then 6, then 8 if possible.

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  46. jrcampbe,I would first try to change the time of your 11 PM feeding. She might do better at 10 or 10:30 PM (or anywhere in between).

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  47. Me-a-mom!!!Loving this blog!I am the proud mama of an almost 4 week old. We are doing well establishing our wake time (8 AM) and staying on a 2 1/2 to 3 hour schedule throughout the day. The baby will feed well and soothe himself to sleep for his nap times. We're still working hard to increase the Waketime. But I am running into repetitive problems any time basically after 7. He will still eat, but napping/bedtime/sleep is a huge fight. He will drowse off if you hold/rock/pacy him, but will stir and stay awake/cry anytime you put home down. Finally he goes to sleep after 12 feeding usually. Could this be a combo if witching hour/overstimulation? How long should I let him cry? What pattern should I do his feedings? How do you integrate 'bedtime routine' (bath etc) into this chaos? It could also be food issue, he has a tongue tie issue we are still working through. HELP! Thanks. Me-a-mom.

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  48. My daughter is almost 14 weeks, and I'm a little confused about her last two feedings. She's been eating everyday at 6, 9:30, 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 and I was doing a dream feed at 9:30. Recently, I've slowly moved the 9:30 dream feed up to 8:30 to extend her nighttime sleep. Do I continue to move the 8:30 feeding up until it's closer to 6:30 and then eventually drop it all together? She usually goes to sleep around 9pm and sleeps until I wake her a 6am to feed her. I'd like her bedtime to be closer to 8pm. Any help would be appreciate!

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  49. Hi and thanks so much for your blog!I used bits of it it lay time with my daughter as I was using Save our Sleep ( a hyperschrduling routine that worked well for her) but my son seems to need much more sleep and gets overtired easily.He is 8 wks old and still seems to only cope with a 45 min wake time!I had a great day yesterday of finding this waketimeand he took 3 2 ish hour naps. But by 4:45 nap after 4 pm feed ( 3 hr routine) I was worried about letting him sleep too as Lon as I realised he had already had 6.5 hrs sleep! So I woke him at 5:15 and put him to bed at 6:20. He had a burp I could not get up but also could be still have been kept up too long?My husband ended up having to put him Ina front pack to get him to fall asleep after all day of falling asleep so well without barely a cry?!.

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  50. Hi there, congrats on your 4th.My son is 3.5 months. Lately he's been waking before our 7:30am waketime so I thought maybe he's getting too much sleep and ready to drop his 4th nap. I haven't moved to a 4 hour schedule because he still wakes up around 5amish to feed. But then doesn't want breakfast, so I tried to give him the pacifier instead of feed him but then he can't make it until 7:30am unless I practically hold the pacifier in his mouth. Since I've dropped his 4th nap I feed him at 8pm and now he just lays in his crib awake but not crying for about an hour before he goes to sleep. He used to feed himself to sleep at that time. Is it bad he takes that long?

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  51. I LOVE your blog! I'm obsessed! But also need help! Our daughter is 7 weeks old today. She is currently on a 3 hour schedule, with cluster feeding every 2.5 hours in the evening from about 5 until we put her down for bedtime at 9. This is her latest meal as we dont dream feed. She sleeps from 9pm to 5am with no waking. I nurse her at 5, and she's usually back to sleep for another 3 hours or more. ive found if i put her down at 6:30-7:00. She wakes about 6 hours later and then every 3 after that. i know we should be putting her to sleep earlier, but I'm also really loving that long stretch of sleep. How do we start working towards an earlier bed time and an even longer stretch of sleep (12-13 hours?)

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  52. Our 10 week old does great during the day on a 3 hr schedule starting at 6:30 she is sleeping through the night easy but does not want to sleep at bedtime we feed bath and read and put her down at 730 and by 830 or earlier she is wake until her "dreamfeed" then she is out for the night! We have tries CIO and nothing, it's not the witching hours bc when we pick her up she is happy. She is not ready for a 3 and a half schedule bc she can only handle 50-60 mins of play! What do you suggest!!?? Thanks!!

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  53. Hi! Thank you for this website! It's great! My son is almost 4 months and is not sleeping through the night. He goes down anywhere between 7:45-8:15. However, I nurse him right before. So this is actually the time of his last feeding. Then he might actually go to sleep more like 8:30. He has several issues that I just can't figure out: 1-he wakes up 45 minutes into his night sleep and my husband or I go in and rock him back to sleep (he also only takes 45 minute naps throughout the day…I know that's another issue but if you could comment on this too that would be great!) 2- he will sleep until sometimes 12, sometimes 1, and sometimes 2. I will nurse him when he wakes up one of these times but am not sure if that's what I should be doing. 3- then he will wake up at 4 AM, 5 AM, 6 AM, and 7 AM. By the third hour in a row I'm usually so exhausted I just bring him to hour bed, where he will sleep longer, thus messing up his wake up time. He basically doesn't have a consistent wake up time. As you can see, I have several issues! My biggest questions are: 1-how should I respond to him waking up 45 min into night sleep? 2-how often should I be nursing at night? 3-why is he waking up every hour in the early morning and how do I fix it? And 4-should I have a consistent wake time no matter how bad his night might have been? (And if you have suggestions on helping him take longer naps that would be great too!). Thank you! All my friends say for him to cry it out but I still think he's too young! But he's my first so it may just be anxiety!

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  54. Hello! I am a huge fan of your site and have visited your site many many times when I've had an ongoing issue. I have one question for you. My daughter is 5 1/2 weeks old. We put her to bed at 7:30. She does her longest stretch then going from 7:30/8:00 to 1:00 am or so. She will do anywhere from 5-6 hours that first stretch. However, after that she usually wakes every 3 hours to eat. Occasionally she will go four hours, but usually three. Is that normal? I thought babywise babies were supposed to sleep better at night and all their stretches were longer and not just one. When will she go longer than three hours between feedings at night? (We started babywise at around 3 weeks old). Thanks for your help!

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  55. Hello! I am a huge fan of your site and have visited your site many many times when I've had an ongoing issue. I have one question for you. My daughter is 5 1/2 weeks old. We put her to bed at 7:30. She does her longest stretch then going from 7:30/8:00 to 1:00 am or so. She will do anywhere from 5-6 hours that first stretch. However, after that she usually wakes every 3 hours to eat. Occasionally she will go four hours, but usually three. Is that normal? I thought babywise babies were supposed to sleep better at night and all their stretches were longer and not just one. When will she go longer than three hours between feedings at night? (We started babywise at around 3 weeks old). Thanks for your help!

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  56. Hi, I'm having trouble with my 3month olds bedtime. He breastfeeds at around 6.30pm and then at 8.30pm (stays awake inbetween) and I try to make this his last feed and then put him straight to bed but he doesn't stay asleep for more than an hour. So, he then is awake from about 9.30 to 10.15/10.30pm until I do a last feed. How do I make him sleep at bedtime? any thought please? He sleeps through til about 5.30/6.30 after his 10.15/10.30 feed.

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  57. Hi, I'm having trouble with my 3month olds bedtime. He breastfeeds at around 6.30pm and then at 8.30pm (stays awake inbetween) and I try to make this his bedtime feed and then put him straight to bed but he doesn't stay asleep for more than an hour. So, he then is awake from about 9.30 to 10.15/10.30pm until I do a last feed. How do I make him sleep at bedtime? any thoughts please? He sleeps through til about 5.30/6.30am after his 10.15/10.30pm feed.

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  58. I would guess he is overly tired. I would try to get a short nap between that 6:30 and 8:30 feed–even just 30 minutes might help. He might also be having witching hour–see my posts on that to see if you think that is it.

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  59. I have a 4mnth old. I have been trying a new formula. Well doc said 5ozs is to much for him. So I have been feeding him 4ozs every 3hrs because he just seemed hungry. Well he gets 3 naps a day. During naps he only wants to take an hour nap then wakes up crying. Sometimes I can get him to go back to sleep but I don't know why he wakes up and not takes full naps. Then he also still wakes during the nights as well it's mostly around 4am-5am and then sometimes at 7 am. Well he waketime is at 8am. So I have no clue what to do to help with naps and during the night. Should I not feed him every 3hrs and he is getting to much or is that ok for a 4mnth old? Also I'm still doing a dreammfeed at 10pm. Don't know if I should stop that as well? His bedtime is at 8pm. I normally feed at 5:30 and keep him up till 7:30 then feed and bed. So like I said he gets 3 naps a day. I really need advice on feeding times, naps and helping to sleep through the night without waking. I don't born have to go in there but it would be nice to not wake at all during the night.

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  60. Hi! Our baby of 15 weeks old has been doing a long stretch of sleep from around 7p-1 or 2am. We discovered this before starting BW when my husband fed our baby 2 feedings worth of milk when he was taking care of baby alone and was taking a long time to fall asleep. She then wakes up again around 4 or 5 (eats very little, always 2oz then falls asleep), then she wakes again at around 6:30 then drinks another 2oz before falling asleep. Very exhausting. I tried to force all 4oz on her at that 4/5am feed, and she STILL woke around 6ish.My question: When baby sleeps for THIS long right after the 7p feeding at her age, will waking her up to get in another feeding mess up that long sleep? I might not get it back again. I once did a dream feed on her at 10:30p, and she still woke up at 2am, which tells me that that extra feeding did not do a thing. What should I do to get her sleep for 5-7 hours like she normally does to a later time so I can just wake up ONCE in the night instead of twice or thrice? Should I drop that double feeding at her bedtime of 7 so she can wake up again to feed sometime around 9:30 or 10?

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  61. I have a 12 week old boy who started to STTN about 3 weeks ago. My question is: how do you develop a consistent bedtime and still keep an optimal waketime between the end of his last nap? He usually does his last nap in my carrier or in the car seat doing errands because he has never gone down for that 4th nap easily. But if he wakes early, I feel that I need to get him to bed an hour or so from that time to avoid him getting overtired and not going down easily at bedtime. Sometimes that makes for a bedtime that is 1 hour earlier than our desired one (7pm). I then do a dreamfeed around 10pm. Should I just go with it for now to avoid overtiredness? Thanks in advance! Your blog has been so helpful.

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  62. Hi Valerie, we’ve followed babywise to a T right from the beginning with our 10.5 month old. He has taken fantastic naps (two 2-2.5 hour naps and cat nap that dropped at 8 months) and sleeps 12 hours through the night. Everything about him would fall under the description of angel baby, except bedtime routine. It’s been horrific since day 1 and there’s never been a “good night”. It’s breaking my heart. We have always followed a consistent routine so we’re not sure what we can change that can with this. Our son wakes from last nap between 4-4:15pm. Has a bottle and solids. He then eats a snack/finger foods with the family between 5:30-5:45. Sometimes he starts to get a little fussy around 6:45. Between 6:45-7pm is bath. Right after, around 7:15, we feed him in his dark room because he becomes very cranky. We want to incorporate reading and prayers before feeding but can’t because he’s so cranky. We put sound machine on, lay him down to change him (still in the dark) but he tries taking off to play and gets really nasty when we pull him back to put his night diaper and pj’s on (we have to wait to do this until this point because he poops almost every night right at this time). We finally get him in his sleep sack, pick him up to hold him to unwind and sing to him – he kicks/pushes off of us, gets extremely fussy (it hurts my heart so much that my baby has never let me rock him or just hold him) then eventually will let out a big sigh, so we lay him in his crib where he used to fall asleep just fine but now he immediately starts whaling crying for around 15-30 minutes every night until he falls asleep; or I go back in to try to soothe him. What can we try so that my family can enjoy this special time of the evening together? I truly appreciate any guidance you may have.

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    • Hello! I feel like there are some things that make it hard to change stuff up. I would suggest that you change the diaper and PJs before feeding him and then just put him in bed after feeding, but him needing to wait until later to do the diaper makes it so you can’t do that.

      He might be someone who doesn’t love physical touch or cuddling. My guess is you are someone who loves it. So part of it will be you accepting that isn’t his thing and that is okay.

      He also might just need an earlier bedtime. It sounds like he starts to get fussy a while before it is bedtime, so perhaps moving it up some would help the whole situation.

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      • Thank you for these thoughts and suggestions. You make a good point about physical tough and cuddling. I wouldn’t have guessed that earlier bed time may be needed because he sleeps 12 hours each night and often wakes in the middle of the night talking to himself for a while before falling back asleep. So I would’ve assumed we were putting him down at a good time or too early. But what you’re saying makes sense. We’ll try a bit earlier and see what happens. Thanks again!

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      • Hi Val,

        I just put my son down and am glowing so I have to share – the past two nights we moved bedtime up 15 minutes and it’s been a completely different experience. We’ve had a happy sweet baby who even nuzzled into me and was happy to be held for a couple minutes. When I laid him in his crib, he didn’t make a sound! I can’t thank you enough for the suggestions. Such a slight change has made a world of a difference.

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