Monday, June 29, 2009

Newborn Summary: Week Thirteen

This post may contain affiliate links.

I can hardly believe that I am writing about McKenna's thirteenth week! This is from age 12-13 weeks. Time has gone by so quickly! This week is the last of the newborn months! This was a really good week for us.

NURSING
McKenna continued to just get faster and faster while nursing. It really is amazing to me how fast they get around this age.

My yeast infection is doing much, much better. The two week regimen seems to be getting rid of it for good (I hope).

CLUSTER FEEDING
One night as I was trying to feed the dreamfeed to McKenna, I decided the cluster feeding was now interfering with her eating. She didn't eat well for the dreamfeed because she had cluster fed. So I went to my Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems book and looked up when to stop. 8 Weeks! Oops. I missed that one. So I stopped that day and things went even better at night.

WAKETIME
Waketime finally clicked this week! On Sunday, McKenna was up a little longer for the third nap of the day, which had previously been hard for me to figure out. We were at church, so by the time we got home and put her down, she had been up somewhere between 60-70 minutes (my husband doesn't watch the clock as closely as I do and he had her when she woke up :) ). She cried for a minute then went right to sleep. Wow! That was much better than silently sitting in her bed for 20-30 minutes and then crying. If I didn't have a video monitor, I would have thought she was asleep and then woke up.

So I finally figured out all of her waketime lengths for the day. Her first waketime is best at about 50 minutes. The rest are best at about 60 minutes (though I am toying with trying 55 for some...but I might just leave well-enough alone). Some can be between 60-70 minutes.

This week I also started stimulating her more during waketime activities. For her entire life, I have been very cautious about overstimulation, which was really great for her for a long time. I kept things mild and quiet. But now that she is older, she naps better if she has some real stimulation during her waketime. Not a parade (though that is coming this weekend!), but more just normal life.

Her first waketime is still pretty mild. She eats, has a bath, and then I lotion her and do a massage and "goo-goo" with her. Then I get her dressed and she has about 10 minutes of independent play.

Her second waketime is more stimulating. I feed her, then we all go for a walk. Kaitlyn and McKenna sit in our double stroller and Brayden rides his bike along with us. Because I know someone will end up asking, here is a link to the double stroller we use: Jeep Wrangler Twin Sport All-Weather Umbrella Stroller. We really like it. Each seat can recline and it is lightweight. Also, it is a lot less expensive than most double strollers out there (and as I type this, it is 31% off on Amazon). We used it with Brayden and Kaitlyn and now Kaitlyn and McKenna. Oh, and an idea I had (once it was too late for McKenna) is that if you want to use it with a younger baby, you could get the Kiddopotamus Snuzzler. We have this and use it in our bike trailer for McKenna. It works great. But I found it when she was older and didn't need it for the stroller. Just a little FYI for you :)

Her third waketime is just with me. She eats of course. I often have her sit in her bouncy seat while I clean up the kitchen and/or she does some tummy time also.

Her fourth waketime is with the whole family home, so various things can happen. She eats. Errands, bike rides, visiting friends, around the house, etc.

Her last waketime is just before bed, and in actuality I haven't perfected this length yet. I am working with figuring out if she should have it be long or really short. It does include eating, getting ready for bed, and reading a story.

Some of you might be getting coss-eyed thinking about doing the same thing for each waketime. If so, mix it up! For me, I like the predictability and it also helps me be sure I get everything in that I want to. Some waketimes naturally vary because life isn't the exact same every single day, but this is the current plan I work with. Having one unpredictable waketime each day is enough for me.

CIO
CIO was fast and painless for us (I guess as painless as it can be). I am going to write an "In Action CIO" post because there are things I learned during this process that I think will be of benefit to others.

NAPS
Naps were good. One change I made this week was to close her blinds during naptime. I always like for my kids to learn to sleep with light, but I thought it might be disrupting her. I decided sleeping well the 99% percent of the time when she is in a room that can have the blinds closed is better than sleeping okay 99% of the time and okay the 1% of the time she might be somewhere I can't darken the room with blinds or curtains.

NIGHTTIMEShe continued sleeping through the night. When I say sleeping through the night, I mean she slept 7-8 hours continuously. Since I do the dreamfeed quite early, that puts her waking up before our ultimate desired waketime.

You will recall that in the past with McKenna, when she STTN I treated any feeding past 6 AM as our first feeding for the day and then just extended the first nap (which she will do). At this age, however, I found it better to feed her on one side and then put her back to bed and get her up at her desired waketime.

I think that around three months old, the baby starts to get more stable and even more on a pattern. I wanted her to learn what time is morning. So I reduced the amount she ate in the early morning feeding and then woke her up to eat. This went well this week.

SWADDLE
I didn't mess with the swaddle this week at all. She is still in need of it. She is getting much more coordinated with her arms, so I think that she will be able to at least have one arm out "soon." By soon, my guess is within the month (though that is only a guess; who knows the future). She does sometimes work her arm up so her hand is at her mouth. That can make her "upset" (not crying, just frustrated). At first I wanted to go in and put her arm back down, then I decided that it is part of the learning process for her. She needs to learn to sleep that way since she is strong enough to get that way. Keep in mind I can see her on the video monitor, so I know if she has her hand there or not by looking. She really quickly adjusted to this and fell asleep well with her hand down or her hand up. This really is a small step toward weaning from the swaddle.

HAND SUCKINGAs I said, she is getting better with her hand. She can more purposefully get her hand to her mouth. She still hasn't decided what she likes. Fingers, thumb, fist...she doesn't know yet. She is still trying it out.

SOCIAL
McKenna got a lot more social this week. Not only was she very social during nursing (stopping to talk to me), she was also much more social during awake time. She lights up when her siblings enter the room. She looks around to try to find the people who are talking. She is a jabber-mouth. She loves kisses. She is just so fun! See, this is the reason I just look forward to three months old so much. I love interacting with my children.

OUR SCHEDULE
Our schedule has some differences. Our morning waketime got a little later because of the early morning feedings and we also dropped the cluster feeding:

8:00 AM--eat
8:50 AM--nap
10:30 AM--eat
11:30 AM--nap
1:30 PM--eat
2:30 PM--nap
4:30 PM--eat
5:30 PM--nap
6:30-7:00 PM--eat
7:30-8:00 PM--sleep in swing due to witching hour
10:00 PM--Dreamfeed
5:30-6:00 AM--early morning feeding (she wakes for this, I don't wake her)

HELPFUL BOOKS/WEBSITES
I have a new book to add:
RELATED POSTS/BLOG LABELS

33 comments:

mmreeves said...

I remember how nervous I was when I was getting ready to wean my 4 month old from the swaddle. He was at the size where he was breaking out of it during the night and waking himself up. Anyway, I reseached different ways of weaning him and decided to just do it cold turkey. It was bad for one night but the next night was fine! I read a few different palces that many people have the same experience, i.e bad for 1-2 nights and then they don't remember it.

Jenni said...

Its so hard for me to imagine that your babies actually sleep each nap until their next feeding every day! I believe you =) and just wonder what you do to make that happen? We have done BW with both our kids (current baby is 15 weeks old) but she takes varrying naps all day. She's a good sleeper and has been sleeping 9+ hours a night since 7 weeks. But, some naps are an hour and some are 2-2.5 and I have to wake her to eat. When she wakes after an hour and doesn't fall back asleep I go ahead and feed her do I can keep a good eat, wake, sleep rhythm, but she is just inconsistent from day to day and nap to nap. I've kind of decided to just roll with it so I don't go mad, but if you have suggestions on what I could do differently, I'm open! Thanks for all the hard work you put into this site!

Anna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Victoria said...

I just started reading BW and have a 10 week old. I definitely wish I had the book prior to giving birth and really enjoy your blog. I am sure I will be back with questions...trying not to get overwhelmed with info right now while I am still sorting out what to do. Any suggestions for parents starting BW this late in the game? I feel like we are already behind and am not sure where to begin since our baby is close to three months already. Thanks and God bless!

Sarah said...

Your post on McKenna's recent schedule was SO SO helpful to me. My firstborn, son Jack was born on 4/8/09 and is 12 weeks today. His schedule is soooo similar to McKenna's and I had some questions about it- like was it okay for him to be napping 4 times during the day, only being awake for 1-1 1/2 hours at best, and if it was okay to still be in the swaddle (but we are slowly going out of it)- and he and she are so similar, so I felt good about things. THANK YOU!!!

A couple of questions for you-

1) When your baby begins sleeping longer stretches at night and you KNOW they can do it but they wake up earlier, what do you do? (Ex. Jack goes down after an 8:30 feeding at 9pm. I do not dreamfeed b/c my husband gets up at 5 and I am up at 6 and I like Jack up by 7:30 at the latest) so lately, he's been going until 4-5ish and 2 nights ago, until 5:15!!!. The longer he goes, I give less milk in hopes of keeping him on the 7-7:30 wake, which works. However,mixed in with these later mornings are some nights where he wakes up at 2 or 3 to eat, only to go back down until waketime at 7-7:30. Would you go ahead and get him when he cries early and feed him and then put him down till the desired waketime, knowing that he will eventually go longer at night, or would you make him try and go back to sleep until later in the wee hours of the AM?

2) When you are attemping to wean from the swaddle, do you transition to a sleep sack? I've been trying one arm out of the swaddle this week but ONLY at naps, and so far, so good. I think the hand sucking will be a self-soothing thing.

Thank you!
Sarah

Sarah said...

Okay, so with more reading on your blog, question #1 has been answered. I saw (after leaving the comment) your post on early AM feedings before waketime. That was great-thank you! I also breastfeed and will work on cutting back on the time of the feed as I see it interferes with our 1st feed of the day.

C-lee said...

I need urgent help!!! My Lo is almost eleven months old but I feel like I'm moving backwards.

I have a chronic 45min napper and I have made peace with that. But I'm not giving up to get it right.

Anyway She was sick for 2 months one sickness after another. Before that I got her to Sleep 1.25 in the morning and 1.5 in the afternoon. She had a waketime of 1hour and 10 min in the morning and 2hours and 25min in the afternoon. Then she got sick, and even while she was sick she fell asleep okay. It was when she got the cold on top of teething that all of a sudden she did not want to fall asleep anymore and cried. Because she was sick I did not want to let her Cio so I comforted her. Until she fell asleep.

Now she is still teething the third and fourth tooth but they don't wanna come out.

She doesn't want to fall asleep when I put her down for a nap. When she cries I leave her but the longer I leave her the worse it gets until it sounds like she is choking. When I go to her just to pat her or calm hr down she doesn't want to calm down. When I pick her up to calm her down her cry even escalate and she just want to get away from me trying to scratch me and hurt me very very unhappy, ofcourse I stay calm but I feel like crying for one day.

I've tried shorter waketime and longer waketime all is the same.

She sleeps well at night although She wakes up a few times now but I think thats because of teething.

I don't know I feel like I've ruined everything. We have never had it smooth but now I don't know what to do.

Her meals is at the same time everyday her activities is the same everyday we have independant playtime of 45minutes which is okay.

In the day she also throughs a lot of mini fits. When she is done eating and while I'm untying the safetybelt on the high chair she screams 'cause she want out. I have read that you shouldn't give her what she wants while she's having her fit, but then she only escalate once more. I'm trying to teach her the help and please sighn. But that also makes her so mad and cranky. But I keep trying. When she doesn't get what she wants she cries or have a mini fit, and I don't give in to them. If I tell her thats a no she gets mad. She does listen to me when she wants to touch something and I say thats a no. But then other times she gets mad.

I spend a lot of time with her. I play with her I take walks with her.

At this moment I helped her to go to sleep but after 5 min she is awake again. Now I can hear her talking and playing.

And I do give her some painkiller for the teething and some teegel(for gums)

She does love to play and she hates to sleep.

Just two days ago I put her in bed 2hours and 25 min after she was awake and she fel asleep emmediately and she slept for 1.5hours. And now she just cries and cries. I tried 2hours and 2hours and 15min. It doesn't work.

I don't care about the short nap but I would just like her to fall asleep.

Sorry for this dragged out one I just need some advise.

I would really really really really apreciate it.

Thank you

bethers21 said...

Hi, Val! How are you determining "ideal" waketime? Is it by watching on the video monitor, listening to cries, or getting a full nap? Thanks!!!

Sara said...

I have a question about napping. I have gotten myself into a very bad habit of allowing my 8 week old daughter to nap in the bouncy chair/swing/car seat. She will not nap in her crib. If I put her down, she wakes up and crys 5 mintues later. Any tips on getting her to nap in her crib?

Thanks!

Emily said...

swaddle question! I have loved the swaddle as my son sleeps so wonderfully with it. He's now 4 months old and breaks out of it all the time but is still unable to sleep at all with this arms out. I try just having one arm out and he still won't sleep. It's like he has to be swaddled to sleep but then will try to break out of it too. When you guys mentioned weaning your baby from the swaddle...how do you do this??? thanks!

Drews*Mama said...

Hi Val!
I have a question about your "hand sucking" comment. I've also read your other posts on hand/finger sucking, and I'm torn on what to do. My son, who is a little over 5 months now, has been attached to his hands since he was about 2 months old. He took a pacifier for a couple of days after he was born, but I've never been able to get him to take one since then. I'm ok with that. But...I've had several people tell me over the past few months that I need to keep trying to get him to take a pacifier b/c it is an easier habit to break than thumb-sucking. I have loved the fact that he uses his hands to soothe himself to sleep. Lately, however, we've noticed that he constantly has his hands...thumbs, fingers, hands, wrists, arms... in his mouth, either sucking or just chewing. My husband and I have tried removing them from his mouth as long as he's not sleepy, but it's a losing battle. :) I definitely don't want him to form a habit that is going to be impossible to break in a few years. Plus, it's just kind of annoying :) b/c we can't ever see him smile or hear him talk anymore. I guess I just wanted to know what your advice would be for us--whether we should try to break it now or maybe in the future or if I should try a pacifier instead of his thumb. Thanks! :)

Emily said...

Drews Mama:

I am a paci mom and I have a love/hate relationship with that thing! I agree with you about the hands and that it seems like that would be a very tough habit to break. However, it is VERY annoying to have to be constantly in and out of my sons room during naptime because the paci has fallen out. If I could do it over (and I will be when I have another one someday!) I would never use a paci! I agree that it's annoying for them to always be chewing on their hands, but my son is also teething and wants something in his mouth all the time too it's just that it's a paci rather than a hand :) Hope this helps some!

Plowmanators said...

mmreeves,

Thanks. I am still nervous about it! I am feeling like it is about time, but I am just trying to feel it out and time it right. We didn't have any problems when we weaned Kaitlyn--in fact, she slept better.

Plowmanators said...

Jenni, By this age, you can start to shoot for a more consistent schedule day to day. You still need to watch for growth spurts, but they don't seem to make as much of a disruption to life. Be sure to have a consistent start time in the morning. Then have a projected schedule, but keep a policy of 30 minute variation is just fine. During growth spurts and disruptions (like travel or sickness) any variation is just fine. Then shoot to have days the same. When she wakes early, try putting her back to sleep. If she won't, continue forward. Try to have bedtime at the same time each night also. There is a post "Getting a Consistent Schedule" that should help you with this.

Plowmanators said...

Anna, I hope you got things figured out!

Plowmanators said...

Victoria, see the blog label "starting Babywise late" for my info on that :) Welcome!

Plowmanators said...

Sarah,

1- I would first feed him. If he eats well and then still eats well for the start of the day, then you know he was really hungry. If he is not hungry, see the blog label STTN for more ideas.

2- With Kaitlyn, I eventually did a sleep sack by Carter's, but that was for warmth. With McKenna, I plan to use a sleep sack also, again, for warmth. McKenna likes to be warm :)

You are welcome!

Plowmanators said...

C-lee,

My guess is that it is an issue of her being used to being soothed to sleep and needs to re-learn to sleep on her own. The bad news is that means re-training. The good news is that it shouldn't be as long this time around.

Min-fits are normal at that age, but they will get better with better sleep. Tired children are disobedient children.

Plowmanators said...

bethers, I did answer this on the last post you asked, but I will answer it in case anyone here is interested :)

I use all things to determine waketime. I watch how hard or not hard it is for her to fall asleep. The video monitor is a new factor I have never had before. She often doesn't make a peep, but I can watch her and see how difficult or easy it was for her to fall asleep.

If she does cry, I listen and take that into account. Was it a tired cry? A "I'm not done playing" cry? A not tired yet cry?

And a full nap is always my biggest indicator.

Plowmanators said...

Sara, basically you just need to put her in the crib for all naps and nighttime. After consistency, she should eventually start to get it. Brayden started life that way, but I put him in his bed for every nap and night starting around 2 weeks and he quickly adjusted.

Plowmanators said...

Emily,

With Kaitlyn, I just had one arm out for a while, then wrapped the trunk of her body for a while, then removed it all together. I am not sure if this will work for McKenna or not. We will see...and I will post on it of course!

Plowmanators said...

Drews Mama,

He might be teething. The thing with hands is that once he is interested in playing with toys, he can't suck on his hands because he will prefer to play. That is the start of weaning. Plus, before 6 months old babies NEED non-nutritive sucking. Once he reaches 6 months, you can start to try to limit is hand sucking while he is out of bed.

Something I love about hands is that baby controls it rather than mom. Mom tends to abuse the paci--not on purpose, but she puts it in more than baby needs.

Also, taking the paci away might be theoretically easier, but I see more older children with paci's than hands in their mouths. Parents are reluctant to take it away because of the cries that follow.

Thanks for your thoughts Emily!

fickchantellelee said...

Thank you so much. We moved to a new place and there is a lot more space, the previous place was very cramped up. Anyway it is as if she just clicked all of a sudden. I don't need to sooth her to sleep anymore She falls asleep betwenn 5 -15 min and the minimum length is 1hour instead of the usual 45min, sometimes the naps lasts for 2 hours.

I just want to thank you, for your response, a tired crampy baby is so exhausting, I felt tired and crampy, I sometimes just feel like why am I doing this, but now, now that everything is okay with naps and feedings and night time sleep, I actually have the will to start focusing on other important things like discipline. :)

So thank you.

Thats Why I want to ask you: We live on a plot (farm) there is three families on the plot and the one family lives in the house, next to us (we know them for a few years) and she has 2 boys, the one is 2.3years and the other one is 5. They don't know what discipline is, The 2 year old screams and screams for attention and when he wants something and then he usually gets it. My LO just watches them but at home she also starts to scream if she wants something, and these days when I say something's a no she throughs a fit. She is turning 1 the 15th of August. Me and my husband realize that we need to work extra hard on discipline here.

Is there a blog I can read? Then also I read once that you taught Braydon if he gets mad or wants to cry that he has a place where he can go and do that.

I realize she is too young for that but I like reading ahead so that its in my head.

Do you have a blog that you suggest something like that?

Thank you.

Plowmanators said...

fickchantellelee,

I am glad things have improved :)

There are many posts you can read. See the blog label "Discipline" There are a ton of posts there. The discipline index will break it down better for you.

Justin Wise said...

This is so helpful. Wondering what you would do with the following situation, as my wife and I are at the end of our rope!

Our son is 13 weeks old as of Thursday. He was STTN up until about last week when he started getting up twice during the night. He hasn't done that since he was a newborn.

To top that off, his naps have been miserable for three weeks, usually no more than 45 minutes long.

Is this a growth spurt or something else? We're on a three hour schedule that he seems to have liked up this point.

Any ideas?

Plowmanators said...

Justin, I would try feeding him every time he wakes up for a while and see if that improves it.

Also, see the post that will publish tomorrow (12/31) on troubleshooting naps.

David and/or Lesley said...

Reading about your schedule was really helpful to me, as I have a 14 week old who I'm still trying to get to STTN. I'm wondering what you did between "7:30-8:00 PM--sleep in swing due to witching hour" and "10:00 PM--Dreamfeed". This is where I get confused. I'm on a pretty good feed/wake/sleep routine all day, but then in the evening I have a hard time knowing what to do after the 7:00 PM feeding. We usually go for a walk, then take a bath, then feed again around 8:30-9:00 PM and call that bedtime. No nap between 7:00 PM and bedtime and no 10PM dreamfeed, but he's been waking up at 2-3AM on a fairly regular basis. I tried the 10PM dreamfeed one night, but he still woke up at 3AM. Am I keeping him up too long during that last stretch? I thought that "going to bed tired" might help him sleep longer overnight, but maybe I'm thinking about this the wrong way. Any recommendations about what to do during that evening time? Thanks!

David and/or Lesley said...

Sorry! I think I get it now - you meant that sleeping in the swing starts anytime between 7:30 PM and 8:00 PM and lasts until the dreamfeed at 10 PM, right? Sorry for the confused question! :)

Plowmanators said...

Yes, Lesley, that is what I mean. She went to bed (in the swing) about 7:30 or 8:00, then slept until the dreamfeed.

I would put him to bed shortly after your 7 pm feeding. See the post "sleep begets sleep" for the reason for this.

Steph said...

Val - my 9 week old has been doing a an early wake up - around 5:30 or 6. SOME mornings I can get her back to sleep until 7:30ish - other days she is awake. So she goes down early for her nap. What happens if she doesn't extend the morning nap on days she wakes early? I'm struggling with her waking at 45 minutes for some naps - and not being able to get back down to sleep. I get all panicky when the routine gets thrown off - not very good with "going with the flow." She's not terribly consistent - even her middle of the night feedings are not "usually" at a same time every night.

Thanks for all your resources!

Steph

Plowmanators said...

Steph, First, I don't think you really want your night feedings consistently at the same times--that usually indicates habit, so feel good about that :)

Have you tried feeding her like it is a growth spurt? She is at a growth spurt age.

Christine Hall said...

THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your blog. It has been so helpful seeing how to implement the book's teachings in a practical way. I do have a question about the second waketime. My son and I also like to take walks during the day, but find it hard to get outside, walk, and get back in within a 20-25 minute period (for his optimal waketime) after his feeding. Did you ever let your LO's sleep in the stroller?

Valerie Plowman said...

Yes that happened sometimes. If you decide to do that, I would suggest you pick a nap that is usually the shortest so that you don't disrupt what is a good nap. According to Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habbits, sleep that is in motion is not as good as sleep that is stationery, so that is why I say that.

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails