The great unknown. Whether you are a mother for the first time or you just have your fifth baby, you will have to get to know just how flexible your new little baby can be.
Every child has his or her own tolerance level on flexibility. Some easily roll with whatever you throw at them while others lose it at the slightest change to normal.
Some of this is dependent on personality. Some personalities just deal with change better than others.
Some of this is dependent on life experience. If a child has a personality equipped to handle change often, then the more used to change a child gets, the easier she can handle it.
Some of this is dependent on the parent's ability to compensate for disruptions. Over time, you learn to put down for naps earlier or just how short a nap can be cut. You learn what to do if you are going to be out late that night or if yesterday was a no-nap day.
But first and foremost, I think the ability to be flexible falls in a single category. How well rested is that baby?
"Slightly overtired children are more easily thrown off balance and take longer to recover [from disruptions]. Well-rested children tend to be more adaptable and take occasional changes of routine in stride" (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child,
page 57).
page 57).
When I first read this line, there was a little bell in my head ringing "ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!"
This was Brayden. As a baby, he never handled disruptions well. If he was more than 15 minutes late for bed, he was crying. If he was late for a nap, he was crying. Missing a nap was just not an option for baby Brayden. If we had a vacation, it took a week or two to get back into the swing of things.
When he was 2.5 and Kaitlyn was 6 months old, she was better able to miss naps than he was at that same moment.
Brayden was also my 45 minute sleeper until he was 6.5 months old. He just was not well-rested enough to handle any disruption to his sleep schedule. This has earned him a reputation in our home as someone who doesn't handle change well, when in fact, he handles change just fine. He probably handles it better than either of the girls. The statement by Weissbluth in Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child makes a lot of sense. It was that he was inflexible, it was that he was slightly overly tired.
Contrast that with the girls who could/can miss naps, go to bed late, go down for naps early or late, etc. without much of an issue. These things are not a guarantee that we will have a nice tantrum explode later. Coming home from vacation? No big deal. They rarely take any time at all to get back to normal. These two girls are sleepers. They are very well rested; therefore, they can handle sleep disruptions without batting an eye.
"Missing a nap here and there will probably cause no harm. But if this becomes habit, you can expect your child to lag further and further behind in his sleep and become increasingly difficult to handle in this over-fatigued state" (page 24).
So how flexible can you be with sleep? As flexible as your child is well-rested. You will have more ability for flexibility if you allow your child to get the sleep she needs on a regular basis.
Related Posts/Blog Labels:
- flexibility (label)
- Healthy Sleep Habits (label)
- Adjusting for Context
- Disruptions Are Good:http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/04/disruptions-are-good.html
- "I'm Flexible"
- Let Your Schedule Serve You: You Don't Serve Your Schedule (Don't Stress)
- The More You Do It, The More Your Child Will Get Used To It
- Importance of Sleep
- Why Have Naps?: http://www.babywisemom.com/2010/05/why-have-naps.html
(this is okay--I don't love it)
has some great tips on snacks. Snacks are something I think are often very different from home to home, even among homes where parenting styles are similar. This is just fine; a snack is used when you need it, and the need for it varies from home to home.
We first got this table when my oldest child was 7 months old. This is the number one most played with toy we have ever owned--except the kitchen. See that below. Every child has LOVED this toy, and the children love it for a long, long time. If a parent were able to only buy five toys in the first five years of the child's life, this should be on their list. 
We got this toy a little over a year ago at the recommendation of my blog readers. So many of them said their child and children loved it, and that they loved it for years, so I thought I had better try this out. My readers were right (of course)! This is one of those toys that produces giggles like crazy, and it is a fun toy that an older sibling can play with a younger sibling. All three of my kids sit around this toy and laugh and laugh. This is another one of those "so worth it" toys.
This was another reader recommendation. Readers suggested I get this for my youngest for her first birthday. I then did a bunch of research and saw how well this rated on Amazon. So we got it. I must say, this is the perfect doll for the young ones! It is soft and it is safe. I love Baby Stella so much that it is my automatic gift to any one year old girl. There are also lots of fun accessories. 
This is going to be a sneaky way for me to get more than five toys in this post. Anything made by Melissa and Doug is fabulous. We own a whole lot of Melissa and Doug toys, from puzzles, to wooden paper dolls, to train stuff, to kitchen food. You can not go wrong with Melissa and Doug. When Brayden (my oldest) was 2.5, we got him a 
. It is nice, of course. When he was 3.5, we wanted to expand the set for Christmas. We went to our locally owned toystore. There, a worker told us we should consider Melissa and Doug. He said the quality was excellent and the price was even better. To compare, the Thomas Figure 8 set was $40, while this entire set, trains and all, you see in the picture here is $90. Pretty much a no-brainer. Over the years, we have purchased Thomas destinations and Thomas trains, but have this basic kit that gives you all the track you could ever want. (do you like how I worked in Thomas stuff too? I am tricky). I must add, this is something all three of my children love to play with together. Very popular.
A toy kitchen would definitely be on my list of must-have toys (obviously...here it is). We purchased our toy kitchen when our oldest was 18 months old. He loved it from the first moment, and it gets played with constantly. This is our number one most played with toy. The children all play with it together, and it grows with them and their imagination. You also can easily add to it over the years as they mature. A shopping cart, food, dishes, other accessories...it just never gets old. At least not yet. My children 2-6 play with this daily. There are a lot of kitchen options out there. Everyone will have their own preferences depending on desire for wooden, plastic, size, cost, look, etc. Don't feel like you need to spend a fortune to get your kitchen. My parents still have my old kitchen that is comparable to a $30-50 kitchen today and my kids love it. Kids just love kitchens.
I just couldn't leave this oneTime out. Last but not least. When I was a child, I loved Little People. When my husband was a child, he loved Little People. All three of my children have loved Little People. Just today, my three children made a Little People City and were playing together. There are all sorts of toys available based on interest. I chose to highlight this barn because it has been popular with both genders. My girls have also had a special love for the pet shop and the house, while my son has loved the airport and garage. 
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encourages parents to speak all five love languages even if parents are sure they know a child's primary love language. Why is that? There are a few reasons.
