Tuesday, January 1, 2008

45 Minute Intruder



There will be naps baby wakes early and there here will be naps that go well. But what about when the bad days become weeks? The 45 minute intruder!

When I was a first-timer, Brayden took 45 minute naps until he was 6 months old. I always just fed him right when he woke and moved on with my day. Then one day he suddenly started sleeping 2 hours and never looked back.

Kaitlyn does extremely well for her naps now (8 months old), but we had the 45 minute thing for 3-4 weeks. She would go to sleep without crying at all, then wake up 30-60 minutes into her nap. If it was only 30 minutes in, I would have her CIO back to sleep. If it was 60, I would give her time--I think about 10 minutes--to get back to sleep. If she didn't, I would just move her to the swing to finish her nap. I wanted her to stay well-rested. If she didn't fall asleep within 10 minutes in the swing, I would feed her because I figured she was hungry. This lasted for about 3 weeks.

I know it is so hard to believe it will get better. It would be easier, I think, if you knew it would be like this until 20 weeks then it would get better because you would just wait it out. To face the short naps with no concrete end date ahead is difficult.

Keep working on trying to fix it and keep trying to figure out if there is anything you can do to help it, and then just relax. Here are some tips to hopefully help:
  • On Becoming Babywise says to first treat the 45 minute intruder as a feeding problem. By feeding "problem" they mean baby is in need of food. It can be that baby is having a growth spurt or didn't get enough food for the previous feeding. Try feeding your baby once you know he is awake for good. If it is a feeding problem, it will fix quickly and easily. If you put it off, you will make things worse.
  • Don’t interfere too soon. One day Kaitlyn woke early from a nap while I was out in the garden (I use a monitor so that is how I knew she was awake). I ran inside to get her—she was asleep upstairs. By the time I got there, she was back asleep. If I had been inside, I would have gotten to her before she fell back asleep. Give your baby some time--whatever you are comfortable with. I think ten minutes is reasonable.
  • Watch your use of a monitor. Use it when necessary, but not too much. With a monitor, you hear every little peep and can rush in when baby is actually just transitioning. 
  • Check other common reasons for waking. Check the Naps: Troubleshooting--Revised and Updated post on this blog. Go through that list and check each possibility out.
If you are sure none of the things listed are the culprit to your baby's early waking, try to just accept it and wait it out. I would also recommend you analyze the situation and try to think of what it could be. Keep a log and watch for patterns. But once you have given it your all, don't stress yourself out too much! The problem I see with this culprit (45 minute intruder) is that little is known about it. You just have to do your detective work and try to figure it out!

Also keep in mind that it might be a transitional issue. I have read that babies transition about every 45 minutes, going from REM to deep sleep. It seems a lot of babies will wake up at that transition while they are getting the sleeping thing down. Even if they can get to sleep well initially, there seems to be a learning curve with the transition. That is why it should pass. That is also why it might require some training (read, CIO). Do whatever you are comfortable with.

Related Posts/Blog Labels:
Reader Advice:
  • Kim said...
    Just to share in case it helps anyone else out there, my almost 4 month old son has been waking up from the 45 min. intruder for a couple weeks. I started to feed him since that is what Babywise suggests to do. After awhile I noticed that he wasn't acting that hungry when I nursed him, he wanted the attention and comfort more I think. That is when I decided to let him cry it out since I didn't want to condition him to always want me instead of self-soothing back to sleep. So I'm currently working through that and although its tough, its slowly working and he's figuring out how to get back to sleep on his own. Sometimes he even wakes up happily talking instead of crying. I usually let him cry up to 30 minutes before I'll go in and get him, but 99% of the time, he's fallen asleep within 10-15 minutes of crying. So I guess my point is when you try feeding them after 45 min. pay attention to whether or not they're really eating or using you as a pacifier. That may be the clue as to whether you should get them out of their crib or leave them in to cry it out.(although I realize everyone's situation is different!)
    March 7, 2008 4:25 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks Kim! That always helps to hear other's success!
    March 7, 2008 4:57 PM
Reader Questions:
  • Meredith said...
    My child is doing this now and today I picked him up and fed him and he took a full feeding. What do I do after this re: the schedule? For example, he eats at 7:00, then ate again at 9:00, but it is usually 10:00. He didn't go back down after the nine feeding b/c it took him 30 minutes to eat and then he was a wake. What do I do at 10:00? feed him again and continue with the regular schedule? I don't know if he will eat.If they won't go back to sleep after a 45 minute intruder feeding, then do you just adjust the schedule until it can be ironed out again? What are your thoughts on this?
    January 30, 2008 9:31 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Good question. If I experience the 45 minute intruder and baby is hungry, I just continue on the day more on a "pattern" than a "schedule." So baby ate at 9. I would then shoot for the next feeding to be 2.5-3 hours from 9, but perhaps sooner. If this is a growth spurt, then it will be sooner. Feeding baby as often as necessary for a few days will get him with the extra food he needs and he will then go back to normal schedule. So I would feed at 9, do the normal waketime, then put down for a nap. If it turns out he was just hungry for that one feeding, he might sleep a little longer for the next nap and get back on schedule at some point in the afternoon. If not, don't worry. Tomorrow is a new day :)
    January 30, 2008 9:45 AM
  • Maria said...
    Excellent blog! Thanks for your efforts with it. My son (20 weeks) has, for about the last 8 weeks, been taking 2 out of 3 daytime sleeps for only 45 minutes each (I can look at the clock and say within a couple of minutes when he'll wake!).Sometimes his first sleep of the day is also 45 minutes. I have tried everything - putting to bed earlier and later, swaddling, closing curtains. He is a wonderful nighttime sleeper and is now sleeping about 10 hours a night. Any suggestions? I've tried the things you've suggested too but each day is the same. I leave him to cry for about 15-20 mins each time he wakes - sometimes he goes back to sleep but not often. He has just started solids this week. I may just have to wait it out. I'd love to hear any feedback you could provide. Many thanks.
    February 11, 2008 1:54 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Once you have tried everything, there isn't much else to do but wait it out. My son just clicked one day. I hadn't changed anything that day, though several things had changed in the couple of weeks before.Some babies might just sleep 45 minutes until one day they get it. Others might need the changes for a couple of weeks before you see any improvement. I would say to still try to problem solve, but in a casual way. In a way where you won't stress out over it. You have worked hard enough, no need to stress! Good luck.
    February 11, 2008 9:43 AM
    Maria said...
    Thanks for your reply. As I mentioned, I do leave my son for about 15-20 mins once he's woken, depending on how hard he's crying, to see if he'll go back to sleep. Do you think I should just leave him in his bed for longer, until his normal time for a feed? This would probably involve a lot of crying though.
    February 11, 2008 11:21 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    I wouldn't leave him in there just to cry if you know that is going to be the result. Before too long, he should wake up happy and be able to play after he wakes up. At that point, you could leave him, but for now, if it were me, I would get him up if he was going to just cry. Have you looked at the waking early post? There are ideas there for what to do when they wake early.
    February 11, 2008 1:20 PM
  • Kim said...
    Thanks for all the work you do for this blog...its so helpful! I have a 3.5 month old son and I'm in the middle of this 45 min. intruder thing with his naps. I just have a few questions. 1. How long does it typically last? Its been weeks now and I'm afraid that he's so used to waking up 45 minutes into his nap that its just going to be habit. I try to let him cry it out, but after 30 minutes, I usually end up getting him since its almost time to feed him again. 2. I've considered darkening the room because he sleeps so much better at night. But I don't want to confuse his days and nights (he's sleeping through the night great). Do you think it would be bad to make his room darker if I still limited his naps to 1.5 - 2 hours? Thanks again!
    March 1, 2008 4:58 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    1. It is hard to say. I think the book gives numbers...I would remind you to treat it as a food need first, meaning, try feeding him every time he wakes early jut to see if that is the reason he is waking. 3 months is a growth spurt age. If he hasn't already had that, he could be doing it right now. He will continue to wake early until he gets his good need fulfilled.2. I think darkening should be fine since you have waketime each day cycle and also you would wake him up.Good luck!
    Kim said...
    Thanks for your input! I have been (and still am) trying to treat it as a hunger need. He does usually take a full feeding after 45 minutes, but my problem is that by the end of the day, he's so overtired from his shorter naps that he gets hysterical and misses even more sleep. Did you ever run into that? I tried putting him down 15 minutes early for his naps, but he still cries more than he sleeps. Is that normal?
    March 2, 2008 4:31 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Is he still working on self-soothing? If that is the case, that could have a lot to do with waking early--he wouldn't be able to make it through the transitions yet.When we were in the beginning with Kaitlyn, I tried to keep her as well-rested as possible because I knew that meant the most success and the most growth. If she was too tired, I would just put her in the swing because she slept well there. I knew she could get caught up and be ready to start again for the next nap. You have to make sure you don't let it become a habit if you do that, but it is an option.If he is hungry, continue to feed him when he wakes. If you are still working on CIO, keep it up. He will get it!
    March 2, 2008 9:57 PM
  • Maria said...
    I've finally got a copy of the BWII book (1995 version). I'm keen to get your opinion on a comment (pg 109) when it's talking about 45 minute sleeps - "It's not uncommon for PDF pretoddlers between five and eight months of age to begin waking halfway through their naps and give all the appearances of being ready to get up. If this begins to happen with your baby, don't get him out of bed. Instead train him to fall back to sleep on his own. Pretoddlers need to nap longer than forty-five minutes".
    1. What do you think about the advice to leave the baby in bed - I leave my son for about 20 minutes once he wakes from a short sleep to see if he'll go back to sleep. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn't. I can't leave him for much longer than that because his crying normally gets worse and I can't see him putting himself back to sleep if he's not settling at all.
    2. Do you think me getting him out of bed rather than leaving him is teaching him a bad habit?
    March 7, 2008 1:05 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    1. I have never left my kids in bed to CIO after a nap (save 2 times when Kaitlyn was 4-6 weeks old and woke up after sleeping 20 minutes). I think it is a good idea to leave the baby for a certain amount of time (determined by you) and see if he will go back to sleep. After that, move on to something else.UNLESS you think it will work for your baby. A woman I know recently tried CIO for the second time to finish off a nap (first time didn't work), and that time it worked.
    2. Possible, but needs to be determined by you. My son woke up after 45 minutes of sleeping until he was just over 6 months. I always got him and fed him--kept the cycle going. We were still on a 3 hour schedule. Then he suddenly started sleeping through for 2 hours. Good luck!
    March 7, 2008 2:32 PM
  • Rachel said...
    My 5.5 week old is sleeping for about 30-45 minutes and then she screams for another hour or more. What do I do? I feel so helpless and on the verge of tears right now. She has been crying for about 50 minutes now....
    April 6, 2008 3:47 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Rachel,Here is my comment from a post on another thread:Rachel,If it were me, I would only give her about 15-20 minutes to fall back asleep--whatever time period you know she won't fall asleep afterward. Then I would move on to some other method (as described in waking early from naps/won't fall asleep for naps post--Waking Early From Naps/Won't Fall Asleep For Naps: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/waking-early-from-napswont-fall-asleep.html). Good luck!Some other things to be sure of, I would look into figuring out the reason she is waking up. Look through the troubleshooting naps post to figure out why she is waking up so you can remedy that.
    April 6, 2008 10:26 PM
  • Kate said...
    So, I think we're going through this now. For the past 1 1/2 weeks my daughter has been falling asleep really quickly but then waking up usually 50-60 minutes after. She used to either sleep almost 2 hours or I would have to wake her.I don't get her right away and sometimes she'll fall on and off back to sleep for a little while or she just won't fall asleep and I go get her. My BW question is that it said in the book it could be an eating thing. Do I continually feed her at about every 2 hours while this is going on or should I see if she can hold out until 2.5 hours. I just don't want to teach her to snack all day. Also, how do you know when they're ready to extend wake time? Right now she falls asleep an hour after eating. She falls asleep almost right away, but she also doesn't act cranky/sleepy before I lay her down.Thanks!
    April 24, 2008 10:48 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    How old is she? For waketime, it depends on her. My son was to 2 hours by 6 months, my daughter was still at 1 at 6 months (see the Sample Schedules post for more on that).
    April 24, 2008 10:07 PM
    Kate said...
    She's 14 weeks old. Since she's waking after 40-60min every nap I wonder if she can be awake longer. I've tried putting her down less than 1 hr of wake time and that didn't make a difference.My concern about snacking is b/c she'll eat no matter what. So I can't really tell if she's hungry or just eating b/c I'm offering.
    April 25, 2008 7:45 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    At that age, I am actually going to guess a food issue first. Babies have a general increase in the need of food--they need more--around four months. Also, many people find they have issues at four months with sleep (see the poll results on that topic--95% of responders had sleep issues). My hypothesis is currently that the issues at four months are actually food related.You can always try extending waketime. Also, if you have four naps, you might need to drop the fourth. You could try feeding every 2.5 hours and see if that helps. Good luck! There are a lot of factors at play.
    April 25, 2008 9:55 AM
    Kate said...
    Thanks. I'm going to try feeding every 2.5 for the next few days.I also think you're right about dropping the 4th nap b/c just recently she's been waking earlier and earlier in the mornings and isn't necessarly hungry, just awake and won't lay in her crib.I was going to try that today actually but it didn't work. She took such short naps today that her 3rd was over by 3:30. She ended up falling back asleep around 4:15. Is it okay to add a 4th nap if she didn't take good naps during the day, or should I try to keep her up and then put her to bed early? Thanks again!
    April 25, 2008 3:05 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Yes, think if the nap dropping as more of a weaning than a dropping process. You can have some days with it, some without, some days with shorter, some with longer...at some point, the nap will be totally gone.
    April 25, 2008 3:24 PM
  • marisa said...
    My 4 week old son will lay awake for about 15 min. in his crib. Then he will cry for 10-15 min. and fall asleep. He wakes up 20-30 min. later. It is too early to eat and he hasn't had enough sleep. I am not sure if I should try feeding him or letting him cry it out. Sometimes it has only been 1 hr.45min or 2 hours. He doesn't usually have the same problem when I let him nap in his crib. I am not sure what I should do. I am hoping someone else has had this problem.
    May 20, 2008 3:15 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    You likely need to find the best waketime length for him. At his age, it should be 45 min-1 hour. Also, be sure he doesn't fall asleep while he is having his awake time (like while eating).
    May 21, 2008 11:14 PM
  • Mockabee News said...
    Hi, my son is 10 weeks old. The 45 min-intruder hits us probably 2 or three out of his 4 naps. Sometimes I think it's overtiredness, other times, it simply can't be! I know it's probably a "developmental glitch"... the question is, I use a sound machine when he wakes (if I let him CIO, he will never stop!). The sound machine literally puts him back to sleep immediately. Do you think it's becoming a prop? He doesn't need it for his first nap, rarely ever. He doesn't need it at night (he sleeps great from 7pm-6am!)... just during the last three naps of his day. I read you used the swing, so I guess that was a temporary prop as well? I just want him to get his full nap. Funny thing is, once it's on, he'll sleep past the second 45 min-mark! (still on 2 hr naps here)
    June 3, 2008 3:23 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    If it seems he won't sleep without it, then I personally wouldn't use it. But if he will sleep without it, then I think it is fine. Especially at this young age. I personally like to keep things as simple as possible for naps so we can be anywhere without me worrying about what we do or don't have with us. I do know a lot of people who use sound machines regularly.
    June 3, 2008 11:43 PM
  • Emily said...
    My daughter (just turned 5 months) has trouble with her 3rd nap. She wakes up after about 30-45 minutes. At first I thought maybe she just needed a catnap, but she's too tired in the evening so it seems like she still needs that nap.I've tried letting her cry to see if she'll fall back asleep but she never has.Here's my problem. We give her a pacifier when she falls asleep, but we don't put it back in if she wakes. THis works for us and we don't ever have to put it back in during the night so she's learned to soothe herself back to sleep.There were 2 days where she really needed that nap (had evening plans). When she woke up I went up and put the pacifier in and she went back to sleep for at least an hour.I really don't want to start that habbit since we've worked hard not to do that, but I don't know how else to get her to fall back asleep, since CIO doesn't work.What do you think?
    June 25, 2008 3:19 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    It is totally normal for that third nap to be short. She is approaching the age range when they drop the nap, and she might be starting with just shortening it.I don't think I would start the pacifier thing since she doesn't need it otherwise. You would hate for her to think she needs it reinserted at other times. She should adjust to sleeping a shorter amount of time after a week or two (perhaps sooner). You might need to put her to bed early sometimes.
    June 27, 2008 10:25 PM
  • Christine said...
    In your original post you said that you would put your daughter in her swing if she woke after 60 min. How long did you do this and did you have to break her of this or did she just transition well? My son has been waking up almost every nap at about an hour. He is getting the right wake time. I put him in his swing some of the time but I dont want him to get used to this. Thanks.
    July 16, 2008 5:24 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    I think we did the swing thing consistently for about a month. It wasn't for every nap, but at least once a day. I never had to break her of it. She just started sleeping through. I honestly wonder if part of the reason she needed it was because of her reflux; she got a lot better once the meds were worked out to the right dosage.
    July 21, 2008 2:52 PM
  • Rach said...
    I would just like to say I've spent the last 30 minutes reading everyone's comments about the 45 minute intruder and am feeling rather refreshed. My 3month 3week old son is/was a great sleeper, he sleep two 1.5-2.5 naps per day and then a 45 minute one. Night sleeps, he'd wake once for a feed around 4am and sleep for a total of 10 hours. However in the past 3 days this has changed, now he naps for 45 minutes and at night he is waking up to 3 times for food but sleeping for 12-13 hours. I'm trying to put this down to a growth spurt and hoping it changes again soon. I just wish he would be happier going to sleep. He constantly cries for up to 5 or sometimes 10 minutes before he babbles to himself. I fear I am going to create a toddler that doesn't like to go to bed! Is this an indication of what is to come? In saying this he has on a SMALL number of occasions gone off quite happily with no tears and big smiles! I want more of them!
    July 25, 2008 6:26 PM
    Plowmanators said...
    Rach, no this isn't an indication of toddler sleep. I would watch a couple of things. One is that if he is going down and having a hard time falling asleep all of a sudden, consider lengthening his waketime. Start with only 5 minutes, sometimes that does the trick. It also can be the four month problems (see 4 month Sleep Problems : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/4-month-sleep-problems.html ). Also, if it is a growth spurt (and good chance it is), make sure you are feeding him as soon as he wakes from those naps. Hang in there!
    July 28, 2008 1:49 PM
  • Krista said...
    I am going through the same thing as "rach." My son wis 3 months 3 weeks and has been doing the exact same thing the last two days. He has always been a really good sleeper. He was taking 4 naps still up until yesterday. He would sleep at least 2 or more hours for 2 naps, 1 1/2 for one, and about 30-45 minutes for the last one. He is also sleeping about 11 hours at night (8-7) with a dream feed at 10:30. He would literally go down with no fussing whatsoever and would maybe stir at the 45 minute mark or cry for 1-2 min., but go back to sleep. Now he will only sleep 45 minutes and then wake up, roll over (his new favorite thing to do) and talk for like 15 minutes before he starts to cry. I try and roll him over to go back to sleep, but he just cries and cries. He is not hungry (I pump my milk and feed him bottles and have been increasing his intake the last couple of days--plus, he is fine if we pick him up hold him which he wouldn't be if he was really hungry). He will really start screaming after awhile and WILL NOT go back to sleep. So, now he is getting much less sleep than before, but definitely tired. I always put him down when he shows signs of being tired and he would go right down. It's just the staying down which is not going well. He is still eating on his schedule 3-3 1/2 hrs., but will get up and play until it's time to eat. Could it be that his new skill (rolling over) is interrupting his ability to sleep? He slept through the night last night like normal. I don't know what I should do because CIO is not really working. We spent an hour trying to get him to go back to sleep rhis morning and he worked up to a really good scream until it was eventually time to eat.
    July 26, 2008 10:02 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Krista, I would offer the same advice to you as Rach, but also add that yes, it might be the new skill. See this post:Nap Disruptions: Rolling, Standing, Crawling, etc: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nap-disruptions-rolling-standing.html Also, for both of you, keep in mind teething possibilities. They might not be close to actually getting teeth, but Brayden's pains started at 3 months old.
    July 28, 2008 1:52 PM
  • WoodardFamily said...
    Love your Blog! So in regard to the 45 min waking, I have a question that I am sure has been answered. She is getting up about 30-45 min before her next feeding with this new trend. For "waketime" do I start from when she woke up or from her feeding? If I go by when she woke up then she is only up for like 30 min after eating and then a whole new schedule arrises! I do leave her in her crib after waking to see if she will go back down. Thanks!!
    August 13, 2008 11:41 AM
    Plowmanators said...
    Thanks!See these posts:Waketime When Baby Wakes Early : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/04/waketime-when-baby-wakes-early.html Waketime When They Wake Early: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/11/waketime-when-they-wake-early.html
    August 13, 2008 8:42 PM

88 comments:

Kelli said...

I love your blog! Thanks so much for all of the information. I am trying to use Babywise with my 7 month old boy/girl twins. I am having an ongoing problem with the length of their naps. They are very inconsistent from day to day. Some times they will be two hours, sometimes only an hour and a half, and very often 45 minutes. It makes it almost impossible to establish a feeding and nap schedule. My questions are: how do I get them to take a naps of a consistent duration each day and how long is an appropriate wake time for a 7 month old? Right now they are waking each morning at 7:00. I put them down for a nap at 9:30, they are usually up by 11 at the latest. I put them down again at 2, and this sometimes only lasts until 2:45. Then, they go to bed at 7:30. It seems like 2:45- 7:30 is anawfully long time to be awake. Is this normal? We have tried to do the short evening nap, but they really fight it. We don't use sleep props, and they fall asleep on their own at night and for their two naps. Thank you in advance for any help you might be able to offer!

Plowmanators said...

Kelli, for waketime lengths....at that age it really varies by child. My son did 2 hours and my daughter did barely over an hour. See the blog labels on the left side of the screen and look unter optimal waketime lengths. See also this post:

Optimal Waketime Lengths : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/07/optimal-waketime-lengths.html

and

Waketime: Length, Extending, and Calculating: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/waketime-length-extending-and.html

2.5 hours at that age is likely too long. See also:

Getting a Consistent Schedule: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/getting-consistent-schedule.html

and

5-8 Month Sleep Disruptions : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/6-month-sleep-disruptions.html

and

Easy Nap Fix: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/easy-nap-fix.html

and Sleep Begets Sleep : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/08/sleep-begets-sleep.html

KJackson213 said...

My baby cries for an HOUR before falling back to sleep, after waking from the 45 minute point. She's four months old, and Im getting to my breaking point. I am SO upset and I need some help. I have been working on this "nap training" for almost 3 weeks now and its only gotten worse, not better. She used to go back to sleep within 10 minutes, and like I said now she screams for an hour. Shes not going through a growth spurt bc she still sleeps through the night, and she eats poorly unless I wait 3.5 hrs to feed her. Im tired of it and I dont know what to do. BTW, does anybody know how to find a "contact mom" in the area? Ive looked all over the net and I can't figure out how to do it. Ive posted about 10 questions on here and I haven't gotten any answers! Val, I understand that you are pregnant and prob not feeling good! Can ANYBODY please help me? Im so depressed!

bethers21 said...

Hi, K! I'm so sorry. Know that 4 months is a huge time of disruption for many of us. I remember a couple of weeks where I just had to keep letting him CIO and knew that in would be better in a couple of weeks. Sounds like you've already done some good troubleshooting. Make sure you also read the guest post: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/09/chronic-45-minute-naps.html. Also, if you need some more help, check out the babywise group at community.babycenter.com.

Kelli said...

K, I have a baby who has this same problem. I have worried and stressed and cried about for months! He wakes up at the 45 minute mark for almost every afternoon nap and won't go back to sleep. But for his morning nap he usually sleeps through. After so much stress and worry I decided I needed to change my attitude about it and relax my schedule a little. Is there anyway you can help your little girl get back to sleep? Maybe patting her, or offering a pacifier? Or if you get her up after 45 minutes and play with her until her next feeding time, she might sleep longer at the next nap because she will be more tired. I know it is so hard, but try to look at the big picture- you have a healthy, happy baby girl. 10 years from now you will look back on this and laugh! I am so much happier now that I have decided to go with the flow, and still stick the babywise principles as much as possible. I just feel like babyhood is too short to be miserable and depressed over nap length. I know it is easy to say and hard to do! I have been told that they grow out of this, so that is what I am hoping for! In the meantime, enjoy your baby. Try reading Raegan's post on the chronic 45 minute intruder on the blog. It helped me tremendously! Please email if I can help at all! Or if you just want to vent! Kelli Gloekler kgloekler@gmail.com

Kelli said...

HI again K, I have been thinking of you today and thought of a few more questions about youyr daughter. Has she always woken up at the 45 minute point or is this a new development? If it is new, it could just be a passing phase- 4months is when a lot of random sleep issues arise, as Beth said. Also, it is clear that she does know how to get herself back to sleep when her sleep cycles change since she sleeps through the night. So clearly you are doing something right!!! I just had to add that because I completely feel your pain. I hope this helps a little. I would maybe just give her a few minutes when she wakes up to see if she will fall back asleep and if she doesn't, then go ahead and get her up, let her play until feeding time, and the go ahead and feed her as normal and hope for the best for the next nap. It is too hard on you and her to let her cry for an hour. Try to focus on the positive- she sleeps through the night which is fantastic! Hope this helps a little! You are not alone! Kelli

KJackson213 said...

Kelli and Bethers21, thank you SO much for your support!

Kelli, she has been doing this since 2 months (so for about 2 months)...it actualy started when she started sleeping through the night. She started with one nap a day being short, and gradually it became more and more naps, but yesterday was weird, she slept two long ones (which hasnt happened in two months) and did NOT want to sleep her third (slept 20 min in my arms)...but then slept horribly last night. Im thinking babies who do short naps are saving their sleepiness for nighttime. I read in babywise II yesterday that babies who sleep 10-12 hrs at night are mnore likely to take 45 min naps. My theory is they dont need as much sleep, but they can't stay awake for too long, so Im hoping once her waketime increases, her naps will join together!

Yea I did what you suggested today. She woke up early from her morning nap (BUT she had a poopy diaper so maybe thats why!) I left her in for about 20 min (after diaper change), then when she started crying I played with her for 15 min, then she started crying again and I put her back in her crib. She kept crying...turns out she WAS hungry, I fed her early and she ate a lot- she didnt eat as much during her morning feeding today. So Im hoping all these factors is what caused the shortness and shell do another long one again tomorrow!

Also, yea I tried the passy thing already, and patting her back, which just made it worse!

Yes and I know I am so blessed that she is SSTN...me and my hubby even get 2 hours of us time before bed because of it. So I am trying to change my outlook also. She is so precious whether she takes bad naps or not. And usually when she gets too tired to keep doing bad naps, shell take a long one...I say usually :).

But it IS frustrating! Ggrr! Thank you so much for your help! Thanks for your email address, I may take you up on that! Although you'll probably get tired of hearing from me! :) haha.

Plowmanators said...

KJackson, Are you checking the places you have asked questions? I know I have answered several questions from you in the last couple of weeks alone.

One thing I would say is that if having her cry at the 45 minute mark isn't working, don't do it. Many moms have found that didn't really work until their babies were closer to six months, and it seems like BW doesn't say to do it until 5 months? Look for other alternatives, as listed in the many waking early posts.

As Beth said, 4 months is a common time for disruptions. See 4 month Sleep Problems : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/4-month-sleep-problems.html

I don't know exactly how to get a contact mom, but I think if you go to growingkids.org that site has info on how to get one.

Kelli gave you some great advice for relaxing about things. This post might help: It's All About Perspective : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/its-all-about-perspective.html Be sure to check out the post Beth linked.

Be sure to watch for hunger at this age also; 4 months is a huge growth time.

KJackson213 said...

Well I used to receive notifications in my email that I had received a reply, and I stopped getting them, so that is why I thought I wasn't getting a response! I kept looking in my email for them. I recently just saw one to a question I asked like a month ago, that I was never notified of in email! Im sorry to have been so annoying, I just dont' have any support- everyone raised a child the opposite of me so Im always second guessing myself.

Thank you for responding, even though I didnt know you were! I haven't checked out the post you suggested, I'll do that now.

I hope your pregnancy's going well.

Thanks again.

Plowmanators said...

lol...it sounds like you are having the same problems I am having! I haven't been getting notifications in my email for three months, which is the main reason I miss so many. I have to just try to hunt them down :( Good luck!

lovebeingmommy said...

Thanks so much for all of your time and advice. I've really appreciated it. I have a 10 month old. When she was a little baby she had trouble with the 45 minute intruder during her daytime naps, but she has been napping well for months- until about 1 week ago. She has been teething and they have been breaking surface. Also she recently (about 2-3 weeks ago) learned to crawl. I know these are things that can affect her naps. Do you have any advice to help get her through this? Also, a BW mom told me when her pretoddler woke up early from naps she would just play with her toys in her crib. I haven't put anything in my daughter's crib because I don't want her to think naptime is playtime. What do you think?

Kasie said...

I've never heard it called "the 45 minute intruder" before tho I knew of the 45 minute sleep cycle for a while. It's nice to see that something can be done about it! My son is one of those babies who wakes when he hears things. The TV could be blaring for 40 minutes but as soon as it gets near 45, I have to turn it down and wait for his sleep transition to pass. He isn't a self-soother. I have chosen not to use CIO for now so we have been tiptoeing around him and deal with the wakings. Soon we will start CIO and hopefully get past this. It has been months and months. I can't wait for nice long naps! Mama needs a break.

KJackson213 said...

I have started to notice that my baby will go down very easily around 1 hr 20 min, and sleep for a long time! She screams...like for over 30 minutes...if I put her down too much later. BUT, if I wait 2 hrs and 15 minutes, she will go down very easily again, but only sleep for 45 minutes. I just wanted to let anyone know that if your baby's overtired, they MAY go down extremely easily, and not fight it! But then only sleep for a short amount of time. I read yesterday that its very common for an overtired baby to go down easily (as long as their sleep trained and over two months:)!. Just thought Id pass the info along to confused moms! I never thought Id have to reduce my baby's waketime by THAT much!

Plowmanators said...

lovebeingmommy,

See these posts:

Nap Disruptions: Rolling, Standing, Crawling, etc: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/01/nap-disruptions-rolling-standing.html

Tips and Tricks: Teething: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/02/tips-and-tricks-teething.html

as far as toys go in the bed, that is something for you to decide. Perhaps for some kids it is good. For many my guess is it would be a disruption to naps. My kids both have stuffed animals in bed with them.

Plowmanators said...

Kasie, the book refers to the 45 minute intruder a couple of times. That is normal for him to be a light sleeper at the transition, especially at the younger ages. Good luck working it out!

Plowmanators said...

KJackson, thanks for sharing that. I know it is a hard thing for many parents to believe!

Piper said...

I have been having trouble with my 6 month old. She has stopped sttn as well as she used to. This has been going on about a month. Also, about once a day she does a 45 minute nap and wakes up super cranky when she normally wakes up very happy.
Night time: I have still been doing a dream feed. This has seemed to be more disruptive so I tried to drop it, but now she wakes for it every night between 1030-11. Have I just created a habit by doing it longer than she needs? We have held onto it because my husband works until 11 so by the time she is done eating he is home and even though she normally was asleep he could at least hold her a few minutes and put her to bed. Then she wakes around 430-530 in the morning(This is what has started in the last month or so--she used to go to 730 or 8 with a 11 dreamfeed). When I have fed her she goes right back to sleep until 7-8 (I want her morning to start at 8, but over the last month and a half it has become more like 7). I have tried CIO at the 530 and this sometimes works. She seems very capable of going at least 9 hours so although I feel I have created habits with the dreamfeed and morning feed before established wake time, I am wondering if to do CIO I need to keep one of these??? Or do I just need to crack down and do CIO for both? She takes full feedings both times but sometimes does not eat great at her real breakfast so I am leaning toward doing CIO at the 530-ish feeding and maybe accepting a 7am start of the day and then being patient with the dreamfeed but be working towards weaning her from it.
Naps: She is doing 3 naps a day. Her bedtime is between 7-730 (I want it to be 8, but she can't make it that long since dropping the 4th nap). She goes down very easily for all naps. But, depending on the day the morning nap or the evening nap are not good. The 2nd nap of the day is always good. I feel like dropping the 3rd nap would not work at this point, but does it seem like I need to and just spend a few days as an entertainer? I know she is working on a lot of skills. She is about to crawl any day now and when she wakes from a nap I find her up on her hands and knees rocking back and forth.
I guess overall I see that there are several things that possibly need to be dropped, but I don't know what is most likely. She is on a 3 hour schedule. I think she could do 4 except that her naps are not long enough for her to do 4--maybe I just need to push through and deal with a cranky baby to get on this schedule? I don't know--any suggestions are appreciated.

Plowmanators said...

Piper, if you want to do CIO for the DF and/or night waking, I would choose one, but not both. I would most likely go for the night one first.

Since she is starting her day around 7, a bedtime around 7 would be appropriate. I wouldn't drop the 3rd nap yet. Most aren't ready until at least 8 months old.

I recommend this post first. See this for possible reasons for the night waking, then work from there.

5-8 Month Sleep Disruptions : http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/6-month-sleep-disruptions.html

susanne said...

Quick question...

My son (17 weeks/ 4 months) has been doing well for naps. Sometimes he successfully sleeps through transition (45 minute spot) and other days he wakes and cries for 5-10 minutes and then goes back to sleep. He has been doing this for almost 2 months now. Is that normal for babies to still cry through transition in their naps even after they have been through the entire CIO process?

Also I find that sometimes my son will cry after sleeping 1.5 hours for 5-10 minutes and fall back to sleep. Is that okay? Or should I get him up if he has slept 1.5 hours. My goal is to have him sleep 2 hours. Or is that unrealistic? We are on a 3.5/4 hour combo schedule.


Also, our nap time routine has been: turn off lights, swaddle, and rock for a minute. Then lay him in his crib. He usually falls asleep very quickly with minimum or little fuss. However, lately he has been crying and resisting his naps. I have tweaked his wake time a little. He was up for 1.5 hours. He is now up for 1.75 hours. He has done well with the extended wake time for about 2 weeks, but now he seems to be trying to roll over, and he is extremely fussy/clingy. Is this just a phase? Or should I go back to 1.5 hours of wake time?

Plowmanators said...

Susanne, that would be normal to cry at the transition for some.

Since he falls back asleep at 1.5 hours, I would let him sleep and go 2 hours (he can even go up to 2.5 if he needs it).

He might be ready to drop the swaddle. He is at the age where they learn to roll over, so he might be happier if you let him be "free" during naps. It also might be the longer waketime. I think I would go back to the 1.5 hour waketime and see if that fixes it. If not, consider the swaddle.

susanne said...

Thanks for your advice! I will try weaning the swaddle.

Julie said...

Should the 45 minute intruder be treated initially as a sleep problem for a bottle fed baby? In the Babywise book, it does not address bottle fed babies experiencing the 45 minute intruder, only those babies who are nursed. My son, 8 weeks, has been waking EXACTLY 45 minutes into his morning naps for the last week. I have increased his formula intake in the bottles prior, but he still seems to wake at 45 minutes. Should I be treating this as a sleep problem and let him CIO in hopes he will learn to resettle himself?

Plowmanators said...

Julie,

It should be treated as a feeding problem no matter how they are fed. He might not be able to take in as much as he needs per feeding during a growth spurt. I always treat it as feeding problem first.

lyn said...

My daughter is 8 1/2 months old and has been a "textbook baby" until very recently. She never experienced any issues with the 45 minute intruder until about 2 weeks ago. Her schedule is:
7:30- nurse, fruit and cereal
9:00- nap
11:30- nurse, fruit & vegetable
1:00- nap
3:30- nurse
7:00- bottle with dad, fruit, vegetable, & cereal
She used to always sleep for about 2 hours for both of her naps. Now however, she will sleep for exactly 45 minutes and wake. In the morning when she wakes after 45 minutes she does not go back to sleep. She will talk to herself and "rest" in the crib. Not much crying if any. In the afternoon she will wake after 45 minutes crying and continue crying on and off for 30 minutes. Then she will fall back asleep at her next eating time (3:30). I have let her sleep until she wakes up then, and she will sleep for another 45 minutes and then wake happy. I have tried shortening waketime, lengthening waketime, varying waketime activities, etc. I've checked everything off on your list provided...I'm beginning to stress about it and I know I shouldn't. I've read the 5-8 month sleep disruptions too. She has one tooth and is cutting the second one I think, so I know that does have something to do with it. Am I destined to have a bad napper now? Everything I read said that the 45 minute intruder should disappear around 6 months...not show up at 8 months! Any thoughts? Suggestions? Tips? Advice? Please!!

p.s. I read your blog daily and just love it. Every time I visit I also say a little prayer for you. Thank you for encouraging and helping so many families. :)

Jessica said...

Our 7 month old has been rising anywhere between 5-6am off and on for about 2 weeks now. It's becoming very rare that she gets up after 6am. My husband and I won't go get her to nurse till 6am, but that leaves her screaming and not falling back asleep. She also 6/7 days goes back to sleep till about 8am after nursing. We've tried to keep her up as the start of her day, but she clearly is still sleepy and fussy.
She is eating 2 solid meals a day with 5 nursings (3hr schedule). Her bedtime is 6:30pm for almost 2 months now. We have tried to keep her awake, but that just makes for 2 crazy parents and 1 very unhappy baby. She goes to bed w/o a fuss. She is taking 2 naps and I can not get her to take a 3rd nap.
Do you have any suggestions to push back that wake time? We are very consistent and waiting till after 6am to feed, but she is still waking too early. It's hard to every day let her CIO. Thanks!
-Jessica M.

Anne said...

I feel horrible because I am reading this 45 minute intruder blog and I have always just tried to re-wrap and let him CIO when EVERY morning my 9 week old wakes up after about 45 min. I have gotten really frustrated with him and I feel horrible now because I haven't ever just tried to feed him. I think I get so hung up on not feeding him so soon (it would only be about 1.5 to 2 hours). Also, this is usually the time I give him his reflux medicine which you know has to be timed appropriately. I am going to stop giving it at this time so that I can try to feed him. I hope the poor guy hasn't just been hungry every morning at 9. I feel so bad now!!
So, you have said that you had to do this but you somehow maintained a three hour schedule. How? especially if you try to feed at every 45 min intruder. Although his is always that morning nap! I need to get an updated BW book because mine is ancient and there are many things you discuss that are not in there.
Sorry for all the questions, I have no BW support. My friends and family are strongly against it. You can just answer my most recent one...I know you are very busy and I appreciate your time.

By the way...several times I have tried the swing think like you did and that seems to work most of the time, he would eventually fall back asleep. Would he if he were truly "hungry"? I ask because he is one of those that would pretty much always eat...and it shows! I think I'm secretly hoping you'll tell me he might not be hungry so I don't feel so bad!!!

Bron said...

Hi, I just discovered your blog and have found it most helpful, especially when I think my nearly 12 week old baby boy is experiencing the 45 min intruder.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to put Jack on a 4 hour routine as I was consistently having to wake him for feeds. This seemed to work well for about a week or so. He was in a good routine (wake time 1 1/2 hrs and sleep 2 - 2 1/2 hrs). But in the last week, he has been waking after about 45 mins. Do you think it's worth going back to a 3 or 3 1/2 hour routine instead of a 4 hour routine (maybe he wants to feed more?) or should I persist with the 4 hour routine?
I tried a few different things today, but he still seemed to wake up early, so I'm getting increasingly frustrated. But, perhaps I just need to wait it out? Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Plowmanators said...

Lyn, you are not destined to have a 45 minute napper forever now. It will get better, especially if teething is what is causing it. She will be able to bounce back. hang in there!

Plowmanators said...

Jessica,

I think there is a good chance that she could be needing more food. I would add a third solid meal to the day to see if that helps things.

Plowmanators said...

Anne,

I would always try to feed first. You don't want to leave him hungry if that is the reason he is waking early. Don't feel bad; everyone makes mistakes. You will make many more as a parent :)

But it is possible he is waking early just because he has reflux. Often reflux babies have a harder time sleeping because of reflux pain. If he needs to sleep in the swing for now, that is fine. See the blog label "reflux" for more.

Plowmanators said...

Bron, I would go back to the 3-3.5 hour routine. It might be a growth spurt, so adding a feeding will help out.

Carrie said...

I am just starting BW with my 9 month old. She has always had VERY short naps. 20 minutes is the average. Since starting this I have changed a lot of things, like putting her down awake. It has helped drastically, but she is still waking up shortly after going down and screaming for 10 to 20 minutes, then finishing out her nap. What can I do? She also has never slept through the night. Since starting this it has gone from 2 hours at a time to 4 hours but she still eats at 11, 3 and then 6:30. Do I try to keep moving the three feeding towards the 6:30 or do I just cut it out? My older children were easy - this one is throwing me for a loop! I look forward to your advice.

Maria said...

My 13 month old who is a great napper has been waking exactly 45 min into his 2nd nap recently and is not teething at the moment. He will bang his head and moan (he's a head bangger). I was going to get him because he hasn't done this since he was a infant, and it just dawned on me that it might be the 45 minute intruder, so I let him go for 10 minutes and he falls back asleep. I always thought that this happened with infants just learning to nap. Can it happen with a young toddler as well? I would really appreciate any feedback. Thank you

Plowmanators said...

Carrie,

I think it honestly sounds like she is making good improvements. 9 months is a long time to do something one way (her entire life!), so have patience as she gets used to the new way of life.

I would first keep doing as you're doing. As she gets better at self-soothing, she should make it through naps. Typically, it is best to work on the day time first. Once the day is in place, the night usually follows. I wouldn't do CIO in the night yet. Let her get used to self-soothing in the day. When she wakes in the night, feed her then put her right back down.

But if you feel like CIO would be best for her in the night go for it. Always trust yourself :)

Plowmanators said...

Maria, yes, this is actually pretty common. See the post "dropping the morning nap: Transition time" for my experience with this.

Trish Rhodes said...

I have 7.5 month old twins and am having a similar issue with mostly one of them. He seems to be the lighter sleeper of the two and I have tried separating them for their naps so one doesn't wake the other, but whomever I put in the pack'n'play in our room to nap instead of their crib usually doesn't sleep as soundly and winds up waking early anyways or the other becomes startled (I am guessing) that the other isn't there and instead of going back to sleep, wakes crying. He also is on medication for reflux and used to be on Oxygen (been off since November though) but knowing his history and common occurrence for spit-ups still, I tend to not want him to CIO. I know it's my issue, but it still makes me nervous.

We nicknamed him the energizer bunny because he never seems to want to sleep unless it's about an hour before we put them to bed then it's a struggle to keep him awake. We've tried altering their schedule to suit the earlier bed time but the other has a hard time getting to sleep at the earlier time. I've gone through the troubleshooting page and short of them being awake/asleep on completely separate schedules (which REALLY doesn't work for me), I'm at a loss of what to do. HELP!

Plowmanators said...

Trish, if it were me, I would try some white noise in the room. A humidifier would work, or a fan. Many parents with children who share rooms say some sort of white noise helps block out little sounds each other make.

Lily said...

What do you do if your baby (10 weeks) isn't hungry at the 45-60 minute mark but wakes up fully alert? I've tried cry it out and he just cries until the next feeding, I think only once he has actually fallen back asleep and that was for about 25 minutes. I've tried adjusting his wake time both ways, tried him in different clothes thinking it was a temperature thing, I've tried swaddle vs. unswaddle... He just seems to be set on these 45 = 60 minute naps.

Trish Rhodes said...

Sometimes movement helps (not just rocking, but walking around)or white noise (even just saying shhh in a low tone close to them). When I've tried everything, my husband does "baby sleeves". He used to be able to hold both boys at the same time but now just one at a time, but face-down with their heads resting on his arm near his elbow with his arm the length of their bodies and his hand threaded between their legs and on top of their butt to hold them snugly while he walks around. Don't know why but it works 99% of the time.

Laura Call said...

Yes, white noise works great! I am a mother of 3 and have always used white noise since day one and it works like a charm. However, there will always be different stages your baby goes through, especially throughout that first year as they're learning how to sleep... it's a work in progress. I have never been a fan of CIO (crying it out). With 3 babies I never let any of them CIO until they were at least 8 or 9 months, and even then only for 10-15 min at a time. Babies need to be comforted! They cry because something is wrong and they need you... they don't know how to manipulate you with crying at such a young age. All CIO does is make a baby feel lost and scared and frantic... they need to be held and comforted and feel loved, safe and secure. Once a child is 9 months old or so they begin to learn the tactics of what crying will "get them" and at that point they are more teachable for CIO if need be. But even then, only for 10-15 min at a time and then check on them to remind them you're still there so they don't get scared. I completely understand that it's all so exhausting... the learning, the adjusting, the confusion at times... but this stage in our lives will pass so quickly and before we know it we'll just be wishing we could hold our babies again. Hang in there, Moms! You're all doing such a great job, I'm sure.

Plowmanators said...

Lily, see the post "waking early from naps/won't fall asleep for naps"

I agree with the other two ladies that white noise might help you out in this situation.

While I do disagree with Laura that CIO isn't good for a baby, I don't do CIO mid-nap for a baby that young. It is because for one thing, the baby goes through so many growth spurts and it is hard to know for sure if the waking is hunger or not.

Monica and Adam said...

Hello! My son is 14 weeks old today and just started waking up early from every nap! (He goes down great since we taught him to CIO at 2 weeks. It took awhile for him to learn, but he now goes down with little or no crying.)

Anyway, since the beginning, usually one of his naps a day were 45 minute naps. In which case I would just move him to the swing with a paci. But now he is waking up early from every nap.
I tried feeding him, and I don't think it is a hunger issue. I also tried loosening his swaddle. I even tried letting him CIO. It worked for one nap, but didn't work for the nap following that one. Anyway, he has consistently woken up early from his naps for 3 days now.

If I move him to the swing he still cries, but if I give him a paci, he usually falls right back to sleep in the swing.

Here are my questions:

Is it possible he doesn't need more than 45 minutes of sleep? Just now he woke at 45 minutes and stayed awake happily in his crib for 20 minutes, and then started crying.

Is he waking and not going back to sleep because he is used to me moving him to the swing with a paci?

If he is just a 45 minute napper, how do I work my schedule? He is currently eating 5-6 times a day and sleeping 10 hours at night.

Thank you for all the help! I LOVE your blog!

Monica

Plowmanators said...

Monica, my opinion would be no, he doesn't only 45 minute naps. I would doubt that he would go from finishing one nap in the day in the swing to all naps.

My guess is this is a "wonder week" issue (see blog label).

I would just continue on putting him down for his naps. If he wakes early and you are 100% positive he doesn't need to eat, give him 10 mintutes or so to see if he will fall asleep, then move him to the swing.

He also might be in need of a waketime adjustment. Since he was sleeping well and now isn't, you would try adding five minutes at a time. See "optimal waketime" for more on that. Good luck!

Garrett and Denise Stone said...

Hello!
My baby is 7 weeks and since she has been born has always fallen into a 3 hour routine. She would sleep an 1.5-2 hour naps all day long sometimes longer. Since she was 6 weeks she started doing the 45 minute nap, being a bit fussier, eating a little more sooner than normal. The 45 minute naps have continued and I dont know what has changed. She had been on the same routine nothing has changed except now the shorter naps etc. Any advice? Is it a growth spurt? Do they last more than a week sometimes? I feel so confused, exhausted and frustrated. Help!

Plowmanators said...

McKenna had a growth spurt that lasted a bit longer than a week...I think it might have been at that age. By now, it should be over...though you could be starting another one :)

It also might be a wonder week (see blog label).

But I think you are right to treat it like a growth spurt first, especially during the first four months.

Baby Chrannon said...

I am a mom of a 5 month 1 week old baby and I have always loved Baby wise, but it just never seemed the right time to do all the philosophy. It finally felt like the right time 2 days ago. I had already been working hard on routine and scheduling, but had not taught Sophia to fall asleep on her own yet. I finally decided it was time for the CIO...she was ready finally and so was I. Well, it worked. Let me tell you about the 45 minute intruder...most likely at 5 months and older it is not due to hunger and it is a transition issue. It was for me. Tomake a long story short. I decided when Sophia woke after 45 minutes I would set the timer for 30 minutes to giver her a chance to fall alseep on her own and give me a chance to monitor her crying. I really noticed her crying was more of a fuss and not a true hunger or pain cry. I gave her 30, she only took 20 minutes...and she was back to sleep on her own to continue her nap and get another 45 mintues of valuable sleep. Also, after only 1 night of crying it out, she sleeps 7 to 7 with only one 20 minute cry out at 4:45 am, which I questioned to go feed her and did not...let her get her self to sleep and she did. I have had a very hard to read and colicky baby with minor reflux and at 5 months old she was ready for the cry it out and now I realize how important it is and wish all mothers who were afraid of it could realize it is all about timing and give me a call and I will talk to them about how amazing it really all is...

Tiffanie N. said...

The 45-minute intruder is no longer an intruder. He has moved in and made himself at home here. My daughter is 4 months old and we've been dealing with 40-minute naps since she was one month old. She is my 4th child and I've used Babywise principles with all four children. I feel like I know what I'm doing and I should be able to figure this out, but I'm at a loss.

Sophie feeds every 3 hours during the day and follows a feed-wake-sleep routine, except that after the sleep portion (40 minutes), there's still quite a bit of until her next feeding. She's usually pretty happy, so she just plays or whatever until then. She sleeps well at night...maybe too well. She goes to bed at 7:30pm, wakes once for a feeding around 4:30am and then sleeps until 7:30am. This is where my dilemma lies. 7:30am should be her morning wake-up time, but she has to be coaxed awake at that time. If I don't force her awake, she will always go back to sleep and sleep for 1-2 more hours. I realize this is probably the reason she doesn't nap well ... she's just not tired. So, I get her up at 7:30am and move on with the daily schedule. When I do this, she still naps only 40 minutes and is really grumpy all day ... because she isn't getting enough sleep. If I continue this for an extended period of time, she'll start to crash around 6pm and try to make that nap her bedtime.

I feel like I've tried everything and just can't figure this out. She is sleeping about 15.5 hours a day, but she wants to squeeze all that sleep in between 6pm and 9am. Then she has a hard time being happy from 9am to 6pm with just a few short naps. Lately I have just been letting her go back to sleep at 7:30am so she will be happy until afternoon. Every morning at 7:30am, I think "I should get her up now and she'll be tired by afternoon." Unfortunately, it still isn't working. When I force her up at 7:30am, she is just grumpy all day. All I want is for her to take one good nap. If the other naps are 40 minutes, so be it, but an afternoon nap would be so good for her.

Suggestions? I'm sure there's something I haven't thought of.

Plowmanators said...

Baby Charannon, thanks for sharing your success!

Plowmanators said...

Tiffanie N., do you have her waketime length right?

I don't think there is anything wrong with her getting up at 7:30, eating, then going back to bed shortly. At 4 months, my kids were all at 1 hour of waketime, so by the time you fed and changed, it seems she would be about there anyway.

lauren said...

Hi-
I've read your blog over and over, particularly the posts on naps. My son (first child) is 11 months old. He sleeps through the night about 11-12 hours straight unless cutting a major tooth or battling a cold. But all in all, on average we're getting solid night sleep with no feedings for the past several months.
Our problem is naps. Since 4 months old he has begun to wake up at the 40 minute mark. Some days its 45 minutes, some days its 35 or 30 minutes. I'm so frustrated and sometimes just feel angry.
He is such a sweet boy really great disposition. But the naps are really a struggle for me. Eveyone has told me it will get easier but after 7 months I'm seriously at my wit's end.
We've tried letting him stay in his crib for an hour before getting him and we just get a hysterical baby who rubs his eyes but won't go back down. I've tried moving up naps and pushing back naps same result. Right now his first nap is 3 hours to 3 1/2 hours after waking up in the morning. Second nap 3 hours after waking from the first nap and bedtime about 3 hours to 3 hours and 15 minutes after waking from the second nap.
There have been a few times that I've gone in and been able to nurse him back to sleep and he is back in his crib. But sometimes I nurse him and he just sits up smiling and ready to play. It's like he was rubbing his eyes one minute and happy go lucky the next.
He is nursing 4 times a day with 3 meals and 2 snacks.
Any help you could offer would be great!
Thanks!

Plowmanators said...

Lauren,

If it were me, I would take a week and do a 2 hour waketime--2.5 hours at most. I am confident in saying that an 11 month old needs to be down for the first nap after being up for two hours--at most 2.5. Two up, two down. Give this a chance for a week and see if there is any improvement. If not, let's brainstorm further.

Sarah said...

I know I should read all the comments before adding this info in case I'm duplicating... but I'm just so excited. We recently overcame the 45-minute intruder by extending my son's wake time by 30 minutes! That seems like a lot to me. He's 3.5 months old and now has 1.5 hours wake time.

I had been using some Baby Whisperer principles and tried the wake-to-sleep or (if that didn't work) just keeping my hand on him through the transition. By going in before the 45 min mark and being in the room and watching him wake up I realized he was not tired enough to sleep through. He still has a mild fussy moment after 1 hour awake that I used to think was a sleep cue. But now, if I just get him through that his is content and happy until 1.5 hours awake and has been napping like a pro. :)

Plowmanators said...

Thanks for sharing Sarah! You can never hear what worked for parents often enough :)

Eva said...

Oh my goodness. this post (and blog) is so great. thank you! i have done babywise with my 2 older kids and now with my 5 week old. i have only had the book as a resource before. how many times have i wished i could ask someone questions without them thinking i was a terrible mom b/c i let my baby cry for a while (it's like they think you're the antichrist or something). so thank you for all the encouragement. i know i'm not alone!

Plowmanators said...

So glad to be a resource Eva!

Amanda Gunderson said...

Thank you SO much for this blog! I have been doing BW with my son since he was born! I've loved it!
I've been working on getting good naps for awhile now. But I can say that around 7 weeks he started doing the 45 min intruder. He's going on 3 weeks og doing that! I've tried everything: longer/shorter awake time, feeding, on tummy/swaddled, in swing/crib/pnp, CIO for 20 mins max. Lately, I've been going in to soothe him after letting him cry a bit. He does not soothe just with back/tummy pats, shushing, & nook. So I pick him up and rock him back to sleep. He usually stays in my arms during his more active sleep cycle, but once he zonks out I can occasionally put him back down to continue the nap.
I tried the feeding when he woke up for several days (and he did feed well) but it seemed to me like it was just a comfort thing b/c on the days I didn't feed I could pretty easily soothe him back to sleep by rocking him in my arms (he didn't need to feed).
Any ideas? Will he just outgrow this (he's 9 weeks now)? I don't want to establish bad habits by picking up and rocking! He does great at night! (5-7 hour stretches and does not need to be rocked to sleep; I can easily lay him down to bed) HELP! :)

Plowmanators said...

Amanda, you are welcome for the blog!

I have to wonder if it is a growth spurt. Some babies will go back to sleep even if hungry when that young. I would wonder how naps were after soothing him back to sleep.

Otherwise, it could be lots of different things listed in my "Naps troubleshooting revised and updated" posts. Good luck!

Katie {My Paisley Apron} said...

Our baby is 3.5 months old and having problems with the 45 minute intruder. To the best of your knowledge (or maybe you'd polled?), has letting a baby cio mid-nap ever worked for anyone, long term, in fixing the short naps problem? If it doesn't work for anybody, I don't want to keep putting us through this! But if it might work, I want to be consistent and see it through. I did read the chronic 45 minute napper post and it was helpful, though we are still having 45 minute naps, every time.

Katie {My Paisley Apron} said...

I just wanted to follow up on my previous comment.

As a newborn, my baby had to be woken for every feeding. By 6-7 weeks, she had developed 45 minute naps, though she could be rocked back to sleep and held for the remainder of naps (but not put back down, and she didn't like the swing).

At 11 weeks, for 2 days, our schedule got off and I ended up feeding her before naps instead of after. She still went down awake, but she slept for 2 hours for each nap. The third day, I went back to feeding her after naps (as I don't want to feed her before naps as a pattern), and she went back to 45 minute naps. I played with the waketime, cio, etc. No real progress.

Now she is 15 weeks, and for the last day, I have ended up feeding her before naps again. And again - 2 hour naps! I'm SO tempted to continue this. What would you do?

I've been trying to feed her with a little more light (ie, door open) and earlier in her wake time, so that after the feeding (I feed her swaddled, she eats best that way) there is a little time to walk around the room, wind up her bear, and put her down wide awake.

It seems like perhaps in our case the 45 minute naps are a stimulation problem (as nursing is somewhat soothing, although she's never very drowsy after she nurses). I can play with waketimes again and see if moving them even earlier (they're already 45 minutes to 1 hour) helps?? Would love your thoughts!

And, I LOVE your blog! It is SUCH a great reference for me!! Thank you!

Plowmanators said...

Katie, at that age, CIO mid-nap rarely works. It seems to be effective 5 months or older.

I think in your situation, since you have tried lots of things, I would probably go to feeding before naps. I am not sure, though.

I would definitely suggest you consider the possibility of a growth spurt. She could be waking out of hunger (6 weeks is a growth spurt time, and it sounds like you soothed rather than fed). So that might be why she is sleeping when you feed her right before. So it helps with naps, but doesn't solve the "needs more food" issue. So I would monitor that closely.

Good luck!

Katie {My Paisley Apron} said...

Thank you! I also posted on the chronicles group and got some good ideas.

I think we're going to drop the 4th nap and move the bedtime to 6:30-7pm. She's only waking 1-2 times a night, and usually only once, to feed - so sometimes, with that 4th nap, she's basically getting 14 hours a night. Maybe that's too much in order to still allow for naps during the day.

At 6 weeks, and since then, I've tried several times to feed when she wakes at the 45 minute mark. She never seemed hungry and if she did eat, would just end up spitting up more and more as the day went on. But growth spurts are definitely good to keep in mind! I appreciate you writing back and your thoughts! It's been frustrating, to say the least. I'd love to think we're going to get 1-2 naps that are longer than 45 minutes every day, sometime in the near future.

Caitlin said...

Hi Valerie,

Thank you for your responses so far! My son is now 20 weeks, and we have been dealing with the forty-five minute intruder for almost 2 MONTHS! He goes to sleep well, but usually wakes up after 45 minutes. Occasionally he'll sleep an hour and a half, but that's like one nap, every other day. If I shorten his waketime, he'll just play in his crib until he would have fallen asleep anyway, so I don't think that's the cause. I'm desperate for help- its gone on so long! When he wakes up early I always feed him and start the three hour schedule from there, so I can't understand why if it's a hunger problem it hasn't been fixed. I have plenty of milk, so I know that can' t be it.

Also, he's almost 5 months old and is not STTN. I put him to bed around 6:30-7, and do a df at 9. He'll usually make it until 3-6 in the morning. If I do the df at 10 or 11, he'll wake up even earlier. He STTN about 10 times in a row at about six weeks, so I thought he had gotten it, but nope. He goes to sleep for the night just fine- wake, eat, play, bath, sleep. I can't figure either of these problems out- help!!

Plowmanators said...

Caitlin,

Beyond my ideas in this post and the post in Naps: Troubleshooting I don't have further ideas from what you have said. It could be a wonder week issue. It could be lots of things one after another. It could be some weird Chronic thing, so be sure to read that post. Good luck!

flossy said...

I have read the 45 minute intruder comments and am still confused. Do I feed my 4 month old when she wakes up after 45 minutes and use that as the new feed start time even though it has only been 2 hours since she last ate? She usually always wakes at 45 mins. (since about 1 month old). What do I do?

flossy said...

May I also add that she naps 4-5 times and sleeps sometimes 10-12 hours at night or 7-8. Very inconsistent even though I have been doing baby wise from the start. My son did this very same thing. This lasted for him for about a year. Please help?

flossy said...

one more question- should my 4 month old be eating 5 times a day or 6 (consistently)?

Plowmanators said...

Flossy,

Yes, you would initially feed as soon as she wakes up. That is because you are checking to see if it is a growth spurt. If it is a growth spurt, then she will be hungry quite often.

For getting a more consistent scehdule, see my post "Getting a Consistent Schedule."

At four months, if she is eating every three hours, she should be doing:

7, 10, 1, 4, 7, and 10ish--so that would be 6 feedings. Those are all approximate times.

Molly Campbell said...

I struggled with this for about 6 weeks before finally figuring out what the problem was for us. It did indeed end up being a feeding problem. Turns out that my son was so distracted during nursing, that he would roll back after 5-10 min and seem satisfied and happy. He's always been a fast eater, so that didn't seem abnormal, but then he would wake up 45 min into his nap and be super fussy. When I read to treat it as a feeding problem, I always tried to feed him when he woke up during the nap (after spending at least 20 min trying to get him back to sleep first). But if I fed him, 99% of the time he would then be happy, but awake, then less than an hour later, want to sleep again. I think because he was used to staying awake after he eats during the day, that didn't work for us. I started making sure he nurses longer at the normal times, and we have had all long naps since! Sometimes it's a small pain, I have to pull him back in over and over, switch sides often, and sometimes just give him a minute to look around, but it is definitely worth it to have our sweet and happy boy back! It's been about a week now that all his naps have been good. If something is loud and wakes him up, he is easily calmed and goes back to sleep quickly. Once I started being more persistent with making sure he eats enough, he has slowly gotten better at being less distracted - especially if I feed him in a quite place with no talking, TV, etc. I'm so relieved, and so happy to have his naps back, that I had to share in hopes this can help someone else!

StephGatten said...

As everyone has said...thank you for this blog. It has not only encouraged me, but challenged me to keep going and trust that the Lord knows my boy, and that's all that matters.
I have been following Babywise since my son was born. I'd say I enforced it more at about 1.5 weeks. He has been on a 3hr schedule since then. At 6 weeks, he started taking 4oz. at every feeding (every 3hrs). I know..he's a big boy (weighed 10lbs 7oz at birth). So for the past 3 weeks, everything seemed normal (except for his rapid weight gain). Then this past week (9 weeks old) he has started on these 45 min naps. He's been an incredible napper since birth. He can sleep anywhere and for 1.5-2hrs every time. So, I started reading your blog and decided to not get frustrated, but plan my attack. It takes him 30 minutes to eat, then we talk and play for 20mins and then I put him down. It usually takes him 20-30mins to fall asleep (sometimes he cries, sometimes he just talks to himself). Then he'll sleep for 45 mins. When he wakes up screaming, I've started to feed him, rather than CIO (which is what I was doing the first few days) and he seems really hungry at first. Then he usually pushes the bottle out of his mouth, or spits the milk out, at 3oz. So I can't tell if he's just not wanting 4oz anymore, or if he is just wanting less, more often. I can keep him on this 2.5hr schedule if I need to. But the 3hr schedule worked so well before...especially since I just started back at work. I'm blessed to be able to have him at work with me. So my question is...should I try to enforce the 3hr schedule with 4oz at each feeding. Or should I let him stick with the 2.5hr schedule (with only 45 min nap) and 3oz feeding. This may sound silly, but I feel like he's taking advantage of me and I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing.

Plowmanators said...

Thanks for sharing that Molly! That makes so much sense. I am glad you figured it out and glad you shared.

Plowmanators said...

StephGatten,

It depends on if he is having a growth spurt or not. If he is having a growth spurt, of course keep him at 2.5. If not, I would try to soothe him back to sleep and see how that goes. Good luck!

zeba akhter said...

Hi your advice is just great I really like it. baby feeding problem

Thanks

Nancy

Sloew said...

My son just turned 4 months and now wakes up once in the middle of the night and once right before his first feed (7am) because he rolls onto this stomach and hasn't figured out how to roll back. Ironically he does fall asleep on his stomach sometimes. How can I stop the waking and help him other than practicing during tummy time?

Baby D's Mommy said...

45 min intruder is here...for most naps only.
1 month old today, have been implementing BW since week 2. He is put down after appropriate wake time (45 mins total including feed), as his cues are easy to spot. I put him down fully awake, he will contently look around for 15 mins and go to sleep without crying on most occasions as we have used CIO since week 2 and loving it!! For the past week however he is waking up without fail at the 45 min mark. he's not hungry, diaper is dry, and he will just whine a bit for maybe 2-5 mins and be right back out. is this something to even be concerned with (as in normal sleep pattern for a newborn?) or should i investigate further to make sure he gets adequate sleep? I'm curious if his white noise machine could be the culprit as it shuts off after 45 mins...? Your thoughts would be much appreciated! Thanks for your AWESOME blog :)

Kate Craig said...

Thank you so much for your blog! My 6 month old got hit with the 45 minute intruder BAD. She had been a perfect sleeper since day 3. I felt like we never really did sleep training because she just naturally fell into doing exactly what she was supposed to! But when she hit 6 months she would no longer take a nap longer than 45 min.

I think I read every post on your blog that had to do with naps! All of the comments and personal stories were such a huge encouragement to me. I tried everything and nothing worked. All of my efforts and stress ended up making the problem worse! She started crying when I put her down for naps, or even if I put her in the crib to play.

Finally I realized how many of the commenters said their baby just needed time to relearn how to put themselves back to sleep. So I relaxed, and naps stopped being a bad thing. And now at 8 months she only wakes up after 45 minutes a few times a week!

megan said...

Thank you so much for this blog. It is my go to for all my baby questions. Your children sounds so lovely and well rested :)

I am having trouble with my 3 month old, but only at night. For the past few weeks he wakes up 45 minutes to an hour on the dot after putting him to bed at night and cries and cries. We tried crying it out but after a few hours several nights in a row it didn't feel right anymore (and seemed to spur on more sleep problems all night because he got overtired). It so strange because he is a champion napper...takes 3 1.5-2 hour naps a day (I often wake him at 2 hours), and then a fourth ~1 hour nap before bedtime. Bedtime is at 7, and he wakes from his last nap around 6. He still feeds one time at night (anywhere between 2-4am), and then wakes for the day around 6:30am. We don't do a dreamfeed (it seemed to disrupt his sleep more). He goes to sleep really easily for his naps and at night, we swaddle him and set him in his crib awake. Sometimes he cries but rarely more than a minute, and then he goes right to sleep.

I am at a loss on what to do, but listening to him cry every night is breaking my heart. Any advice?

Lucy Davis said...

Hello! My almost 9 week old baby has just started waking about 40 minutes into his nap. When I go in and soothe him, I give him his pacifier and rock his bassinet until he falls back asleep, he cries 5-10 minutes later because his pacifier falls out. It is off because he doesn't go down with a pacifier, but that is the only way he will go back to sleep. This occurs during his 11,2, and 5 o clock naps during the day. So, he basically ends up only sleeping 40 minutes. I've tried moving him to the swing and he will sit in the swing for an hour quietly, but doesn't fall asleep. I haven't been feeding him when he wakes after 45 minutes because he's not screaming or fussing in the swing. At night, He sleeps without a pacifier. He goes down between 8-830 and has his dreamfeed at 1030 and sleeps until 330-4 and then gets up between 7-730. Help! The no napping is really wearing me down. I haven't done CIO because I'm not sure how long to do it for.

Ashley Morgan said...

Hello! I have your blog Bookmarked and refer to it often. My son is 18 months old and was a "by the book" Babywise babe from day one. He took 1.5-2 hour naps each cycle and started sleeping 10pm-7am by 8 weeks. We now have a three month old baby girl and I am at a LOST cause. Or so it feels. We have done Babywise from the DAY she was born. She woke at 7am the morning after she was born and we said, "Hey, let's roll with it!" since we had done a 7,10,1,4,7,10 with my son, we knew that was ideal for her too. Well, she thrived. She NEVER deviated from the 'schedule.' She each day ate at those times and never asked to eat sooner. We woke her for her feedings, she was always sleeping the FULL amount of time, and she was a sound sound sleeper and a very efficient nurser.
Since she turned 8 weeks, she is now 13, she has thrown us for some serious loops. [Her last feeding is at 10pm though and she sleeps through the night at this point; she wakes around 6am for a binky but goes right back to sleep--in her crib, until we wake her at 7am to eat.] She is still eating at the same exact times...but her naps are getting TERRIBLE. I will admit that she has napped primarily IN her swing from day one; but so did my son. And transitioning him to the crib for his naps was never an issue? And BOTH have slept in their cribs at bed time since day one. I will give a couple examples:
She typically sleeps 2-4pm; the nanny knows her cues pretty well and though we have asked her to stretch her until 2:30pm, our daughter just gets SUPER fussy and shows that she JUST wants to sleep. The past week, she has been waking up at 3pm and is just not comfortable sleeping. Sometimes she cries, [then I will feed her if it's at 3:45 or 3:50 because her 'scheduled' time is at 4pm anyway, so no big deal really...] then she is supposed to nap 5:30-7pm; well she will go down pretty happily and sleep until 6 or 6:30 and be awake. She will cry and no longer want to be in the swing, so we move her to the bouncer, where as long as we are physically bouncing her, she is quiet and content. Her night time nap is getting to be the worst! 8-10pm. She isn't falling asleep well, seems to fight it and acts over tired. Then she will drift to sleep for 40-50 minutes and wake unhappy [PROBABLY because she is over tired from cruddy several cruddy naps and I know a sign of an overtired baby is waking early! She gets SO SO easily overtired it seems!!]

I think the next step would be attempting to nap her in her crib. We have tried that recently and she woke at 6pm... we honestly let her attempt CIO and she cried for an HOUR, until her 7 o'clock feeding. I don't foresee her being a CIO baby at ALL; I know EVENTUALLY babies will fall asleep from the crying, but I believe it would take her a LONG LONG time so this is NOT ideal......

She just turned 3 months two days ago. Should I assume this is some weird growing phase? And feed her when she wakes up from the nap first? She's never really 'asked' for food before her scheduled times, but maybe I should just go ahead and offer it to her and see if she eats well? I feel so confused with her. I know it's hard having an 18 month old run around her. We try HARD to make sure her environment is quiet and that he doesn't disrupt her sleep too badly but of course that isn't possible ALL the time, as you know from having multiple kiddos!

I hope my questions made some sense. Thank you for your posts and support!!!!
amrglass@gmail.com

Natasha Agt said...

Hello,

I was wondering if I could pick your brain on the baby wise book? I have read your blog and I am envious of how it has worked and if possible I would love some tips?

My son is 2 months old and I am trying to get him on a sleep schedule. I have started reading baby wise, but it's a little confusing. It says the most important thing is to have the first and last feeding set - that is so difficult to do as his naps are all over the place. I have started to follow the eat/play/sleep routine, that seems to be working well. He is usually okay at putting down to nap (won't fall asleep without the paci though), however without fail 30 - 45 minutes in he starts crying. Nothing seems to soothe him, except finally he will sleep in my arms. By that time it's nearly 2.5 hours since his last feeding. Sometimes he goes in a deep sleep and then I dread to wake him up at the 3 hour mark because he has had such little sleep, but most often he wakes up crying, so I feed him then it all starts again. Between 8.30 and 10p he has his last feed of the night (varies because of the nap schedule) and then usually wakes up between 2a and 3a. Back to sleep and then up at 5a, 6a or sometimes 7a. I don't really want to try CIO as I have done it a few times and he just gets more and more upset, which then results in it taking longer for me to calm him. Are there any tips you could give me? I am gong back to work in a month and would love him to have some sleep pattern by then.

Thanks so much,

Natasha

Natasha Agt said...

Hello,

I was wondering if I could pick your brain on the baby wise book? I have read your blog and I am envious of how it has worked and if possible I would love some tips?

My son is 2 months old and I am trying to get him on a sleep schedule. I have started reading baby wise, but it's a little confusing. It says the most important thing is to have the first and last feeding set - that is so difficult to do as his naps are all over the place. I have started to follow the eat/play/sleep routine, that seems to be working well. He is usually okay at putting down to nap (won't fall asleep without the paci though), however without fail 30 - 45 minutes in he starts crying. Nothing seems to soothe him, except finally he will sleep in my arms. By that time it's nearly 2.5 hours since his last feeding. Sometimes he goes in a deep sleep and then I dread to wake him up at the 3 hour mark because he has had such little sleep, but most often he wakes up crying, so I feed him then it all starts again. Between 8.30 and 10p he has his last feed of the night (varies because of the nap schedule) and then usually wakes up between 2a and 3a. Back to sleep and then up at 5a, 6a or sometimes 7a. I don't really want to try CIO as I have done it a few times and he just gets more and more upset, which then results in it taking longer for me to calm him. Are there any tips you could give me? I am gong back to work in a month and would love him to have some sleep pattern by then.

Thanks so much,

Natasha

Natasha Agt said...

Hello,

I was wondering if I could pick your brain on the baby wise book? I have read your blog and I am envious of how it has worked and if possible I would love some tips?

My son is 2 months old and I am trying to get him on a sleep schedule. I have started reading baby wise, but it's a little confusing. It says the most important thing is to have the first and last feeding set - that is so difficult to do as his naps are all over the place. I have started to follow the eat/play/sleep routine, that seems to be working well. He is usually okay at putting down to nap (won't fall asleep without the paci though), however without fail 30 - 45 minutes in he starts crying. Nothing seems to soothe him, except finally he will sleep in my arms. By that time it's nearly 2.5 hours since his last feeding. Sometimes he goes in a deep sleep and then I dread to wake him up at the 3 hour mark because he has had such little sleep, but most often he wakes up crying, so I feed him then it all starts again. Between 8.30 and 10p he has his last feed of the night (varies because of the nap schedule) and then usually wakes up between 2a and 3a. Back to sleep and then up at 5a, 6a or sometimes 7a. I don't really want to try CIO as I have done it a few times and he just gets more and more upset, which then results in it taking longer for me to calm him. Are there any tips you could give me? I am gong back to work in a month and would love him to have some sleep pattern by then.

Thanks so much,

Natasha

Valerie Plowman said...

I would suggest you read through my getting started late guide as well as my "getting a consistent schedule" post. Those will help you out.

Jenny Engelby said...

Valerie, thank you for your wonderful blog it's been such a help!! My son is very similar to Brayden and we just started doing CIO with him a week ago and he's doing very well. He falls asleep great now for most naps! The only problem is that he wakes up after 45 minutes. I've tried shortening wake time, lengthening, and nothing works. I guess it's a transition issue since he's just learning to fall asleep. I know Brayden also had this issue and you would just feed him and move on. So did you just do a 2/2.5 hour schedule? I'm accepting that they may be all he can do right now but I'm unsure how to work that schedule wise. Thank you!!

Valerie Plowman said...

Yes we did a 2.5 he schedule. He quickly could do a 2 hour waketime, so we did 2 hours sleep, then nap. Then repeat :)

G said...

Thank you so much for this blog...it has been such a helpful resource for me! I do have a nap question for you. I am a first time Mom, and have been following the Babywise principle to keep a routine since birth. She's done very well on it and has been sleeping 8-9 hours through the night since about 11 weeks. She's now 17 weeks old, and we are having the hardest time with daytime naps! She used to take great 2 hour naps where I would have to wake her for the next feeding, but recently the 45 minute intruder has been an issue. I've been watching her closely for sleep cues, and start her nap routine when I first see them, and she will go to bed easily. Most of the time without a peep. It's 45 minutes later that's an issue. I've been letting her cry it out, and the first time it was just 8 minutes, then she settled again until the end of her nap time. But they are getting worse!! Yesterday she cried for an hour before I rescued her ( I know, but I couldn't bear it any longer), and today it was the same. When I peek in on her, she' screaming, but laying still in the bed with her eyes closed. Not even squirming. It's like she's crying half asleep. I know she has to be tired and NEEDS the naps, but she is fighting them! I added blackout liner to the curtains and the room is pitch black, and every thirty minute I go in and re-assure her, but nothing is working. Any advice? Thank you in advance!

Valerie Plowman said...

It is probably the 19 week "wonder week." Look up wonder weeks on this blog. I would try a swing or something similar to help her finish naps. It is good to wait 10-15 minutes unless you can tell she has no chance of going back to sleep.

Karissa said...

This may seem like a silly question, but my baby just turned 4 months today, and he has always struggled to transition with his naps. We usually had to put him in the swing half way through, and then he would finish his nap. However, lately he has started waking after 45 minutes (per usual) but instead of just stirring/ fussing/ crying, he starts crying loudly and hard. He takes a full feeding, even though it's only been 2.5 hours since the last feeding, so I think we've got the 45 min intruder happening. BUT he also often falls back asleep after/ during that full feeding. He'll nurse for 10-12 min (which is long for him) and then just fall right asleep. So my question is this: should I let him keep sleeping at that point, or should I keep him awake to maintain the sleep/eat/wake cycle? He also recently started refusing his pacifier and is not going down for naps as well as he used to- is going down with more problems also related to the 45 min intruder?

Valerie Plowman said...

This is tricky. With a short nap, he wouldn't have as long of a waketime anyway. I would leave him sleeping and see what happens, but only as a short term thing. This is assuming we have a growth spurt going on.

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