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Tips for using the extinction sleep training method to get baby to sleep well. Get great naps and great night sleep for baby.
If you are interested in sleep training your baby, you are probably wondering how to go about that. There are several options out there. One common method is called “Extinction.” This post outlines what the extinction sleep training method is, the pros and cons of this method, and how to use it.
Healthy sleep is vital to the growth and health of your child. While some babies are born being great sleepers, most have to learn how at some point in some way. There are several options in sleep training. One such method is cry it out. When it comes to using the cry it out (CIO) method for sleep training, there are basically two options. One is “graduated extinction”–also known as Ferber. This method means that you will go in at some point during the crying to attempt to re-soothe the baby and then leave. The other option is extinction. This means you put baby down and do not go back in for any soothing.
On the surface, extinction appears to be harsher than graduated extinction. Indeed, using graduated extinction is usually easier on the parent than an extinction method. This post contains affiliate links. In his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Dr. Weissbluth states, “While appearing harsh, it is my impression that the total amount of crying with “Extinction” is less than with “Graduated Extinction” because success occurs faster” (page 211). I am in agreeance with this impression.
Post Contents
- The Pros of the Extinction Method
- The Cons of the Extinction Method
- Great Sleep Training Books
- The Key Points of the Extinction Method
- Anecdotal Commentary
- Sleep Training Tips and Info
- Sleep Training According to Babywise (Baby Wise)
- Gentle Sleep Training: The Four S's
- The Big List of Sleep Training Resources
- 6 Rules for Using Cry it Out as a Baby Sleep Training Method
- The Ultimate Cry It Out Bootcamp
- How to Sleep Train Your Baby Responsibly
- Everything You Need to Know About Cry It Out
- The Best Baby Sleep Training Books to Get Baby Sleeping
- Cry It Out Sleep Training Tips
- 5 Important Sleep Training Tips for Baby Sleep
- What Are the Benefits of Sleep Training?
- How to Use the Extinction Method for Sleep Training
- 5 Reasons to Establish Good Sleep Habits
The Pros of the Extinction Method
- It is simpler to follow–fewer rules and fewer variables
- It typically leads to no crying at all much faster than any other method
- It is easier to be perfectly consistent
- It is short. “The whole process usually takes only a few days” (page 297)
The Cons of the Extinction Method
- It is often harder on the parents than other sleep training methods “Small, soothing efforts such as kissing the forehead, rearranging the blankets, comforting, and patting appear trivial to parents, but they interfere enormously with learning to fall asleep unassisted” (page 299)
Great Sleep Training Books
The Key Points of the Extinction Method
- You put baby down and do not return until after baby has slept. This is the absolute rule when putting baby down at night. During the day, you might set a time limit and get baby at some point to avoid sleep deficit and allow a short nap to happen. “Once your child is in bed, he is there to stay, no matter how long he cries, if you are using the Extinction method” (page 261).
- Be sure your waketime length is correct. This cuts down on crying time.
Anecdotal Commentary
I have written this blog for over ten years. Over the course of those years, I have heard from thousands of parents about their sleep training experience.
Typically, yes, extinction method is the fastest and most effective way to go about things. It is a very effective method for a first time parent because it doesn’t require you to be able to make so many judgement calls. It is the method we used on our oldest, Brayden, and it was very effective for him. I quickly realized that checking on him only made it worse for him, and I didn’t want to make him cry more in an attempt to make myself feel better.
With Kaitlyn (my second child), however, I quickly realized that she did much better with CIO when I did interfere. She cried less with my interference than she did with an extinction approach. So I must always throw in there that you have to trust your instincts and listen to your baby’s needs. Just because “most” babies out there respond fastest to extinction does not mean that extinction will definitely be best for your baby. Probably? Yes. But not definitely.
I clearly had experience with cry it out that led to me having a couple of great sleepers. It doesn’t mean I didn’t fully hate it. Because of that, I looked to other options. The option I found and stuck with for my third and fourth babies is the 4 S’s. You can see a link that below. Without a doubt, this is my number one recommended method to go about sleep training. My last two babies slept better earlier and with basically no crying. I am not against cry it out in principle and I know it works. I also know it is hard on the hearts of parents, and that is why I love the 4 S’s. It is an effective method to achieve the desired results while being very low-stress. If you want some guidance on cry it out, be sure to see my post 6 Rules for Using Cry it Out as a Baby Sleep Training Method.
Sleep Training Tips and Info
These posts will help you sleep train your baby with confidence. Learn how to sleep train in the method that best suits you and your baby.
Sleep Training According to Babywise (Baby Wise)
Learn the life-changing Babywise sleep training method that will give you back your sleep. This powerful sleep strategy gets baby on a schedule.
Gentle Sleep Training: The Four S's
How to sleep train a baby without crying. This is a gentle baby sleep training method to get baby sleeping independently. No-cry sleep training method.
The Big List of Sleep Training Resources
Sleep train your baby with confidence! Consult this awesome list of sleep training resources to get wisdom on sleep training, read studies, and find how-to's.
6 Rules for Using Cry it Out as a Baby Sleep Training Method
Cry it out is a fast, effective form of sleep training baby. This post outlines six rules to follow for using cry it out as your sleep training method.
The Ultimate Cry It Out Bootcamp
The ultimate guide to how to do cry it out sleep training. Follow this for a step-by-step guide on using cry it out to get baby sleeping well.
How to Sleep Train Your Baby Responsibly
How to Sleep Train Your Baby Responsibly. Tips for doing cry it out in a way that best helps your baby. Sleep training tips.
Everything You Need to Know About Cry It Out
All of your questions about cry it out answered. How long will it take, what age can you start, and will baby be traumatized after it is all done.
The Best Baby Sleep Training Books to Get Baby Sleeping
Find the best books to read to learn how to get baby to sleep. Different sleep training methods to get baby to sleep through the night and take great naps.
Cry It Out Sleep Training Tips
Cry It Out Sleep Training Tips from real moms who have actually used the method. Tips to help you succeed at sleep training.
5 Important Sleep Training Tips for Baby Sleep
Learn the five tips that will help you achieve great sleep from your baby. These tips will help set you up to have a solid, independent sleeper.
What Are the Benefits of Sleep Training?
How sleep training can help your baby sleep and prevent sleep problems from building up. Sleep training helps baby sleep now and later.
How to Use the Extinction Method for Sleep Training
Tips for using the extinction sleep training method to get baby to sleep well. Get great naps and great night sleep for baby.
5 Reasons to Establish Good Sleep Habits
It is not convenient to put the work into great sleep habits for your baby. Here are five vital reasons you should put the effort required into this.
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Valerie, also known as The Babywise Mom, is the mother to four children. She has been blogging on Babywise and general parenting since 2007. She has a degree in technical writing and loves using those skills to help parents be the best parents they can be! Read her book, The Babywise Mom Nap Guide, to get help on sleep from birth through the preschool years. You can also find her writing at Babywise.life, Today Parenting, and Her View From Home. Read more about Valerie and her family on the About page. Follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram for more tips and helps.
Hey! Help me!! I started CIO at 3.5 weeks. At first I did Ferber method, but 2 weeks passed and sometimes (often) she would still cry 45 minutes- 1 hour during naps. So, I switched to total extinction. She’s 6.5 weeks old now and we still haven’t made progress. Sometimes she falls asleep in her own (rare), but more often it takes her 20+ minutes to fall asleep. I should add that I tried the 4 S’s first, but she never settles during the “sit” part. Her waketime is about 50 minutes. What am I doing wrong!? I thought we’d be done by now. We have a good bedtime routine, I swaddle, I just don’t know what else to do. Help a sister out!
My 5 month old daughter usually goes to sleep with no fuss but she is still waking at night at varying times. Should I let her cry it out then? We have tried the ferber method but after several attempts at soothing her I usually give up and feed her so we can all go back to sleep.
Author
If you feel like she is waking for no reason, cry it out is definitely an option. I wouldn’t do that if you aren’t going to see it through, though. If you are going to try for a bit and then go get her, then you are really just leaving her to cry for no reason.
If she isn’t hungry, isn’t cold, isn’t uncomfortable, isn’t sick…doesn’t have some reason for waking, cry it out can help a baby sleep through the night very quickly.
We are on night 4 of cio extinction. And only the middle of the night wakings are worsening. Tonight he cried (on and off) for 3 hrs. When i finally gave in, he was sitting up, “playing” with his lovey. Do I keep going with this method?
I should add that 1st put down of the night is way better, cry of 5 min. But should I be concerned that in the daytime, he is more clingy and fussy?
Author
Hello! I usually say to focus on sleep training in the day and the night naturally follows once they get daytime down. So I would focus on your daytime training and then see how night lands. As he gets the skills for self-soothing, he should just sleep through without issue so long as he isn’t waking in the night for other reasons.